Best Weight Loss Poems
Vast sums of money
enormous chunks of time
All spent on losing weight ~
usually ruined by dinnertime
It's really quite easy
now I know that sounds cheezy
But here's the one thing that works, brother
Sell your car today, and don't buy another
You'll walk everywhere
have little time to spare
for banquets and luncheons
or to lie around potato chip munchin'
And even if this radical step doesn't work
you have my personal guarantee
I'll sell your car back to you for what you took from me
~ sure enjoyed driving it for free
Resolved: I’ll make a MOCKERY of death,
metaphoric wake may open my eyes.
I’ll ADORN kitchen walls with shibboleth -
an OPULENCE of signs which look passé.
using words like “Get Up and Exercise”,
“Calories Count” and “Don’t Forget to Weigh.”
I will EXULT VICARIOUS free time:
tasting all those shows on the loss of weight,
eating less, letting those dinner bells chime,
keeping my IMPETUS under corral.
A SILKEN body I will re-create
giving resolution, new rationale.
This year, I’ll cross the CHASM of my death,
downfall of pounds, weight’s passing does take time.
August 25, 2018
contest: Eight-Word Challenge 8, John Hamilton
the eight words are capitalized for easy recognition.
It’s called, ’excessive fork to mouth disease’.
Overeating too much of what we please.
Sitting excessively on our derrière?
Watching TV, or writing poetry with magical flairs?
Lockdowns were absolutely no excuse.
Blaming it on “Climate Change…”a bad joke and so incredibly obtuse.
Get off our buttoxes and exercise at home.
It’s OK, to leave your great, altar of the internet, alone!
We lovely women, lose weight slower than charming men.
But there’s no magic pill on which neither can depend!
If I made it from a size sixteen to a size seven,
You can do it, too, it’s simply like being in heaven.
Beers, breads and booze are out of the question.
Wines, pizza, chips just few more to mention!
The key is to not listen, to those who failed.
Else, you be imprisoned in an adipose jail!
Live very long and prosper!
Panagiota
8/20/2022
~3 ~
When you work hard, I know that you’ll find,
That so long as you really don’t mind,
Holding your feet to the grind,
Your efforts will reflect back to you.
A few years ago, I needed to lose weight,
Because my health really wasn’t great,
And when I looked in the mirror, I would hate
What was reflected back to me.
I came to realize it was all up to me,
And that’s the only way it could be,
If I ever seriously wanted to see
My true self reflecting back at me.
So I decided to get off my idle butt,
And find a way to dig out of my rut,
I wanted to do something about my gut,
So my body would reflect my life.
I started to walk, then to run,
Which in the beginning wasn’t fun,
Especially in the hot summer sun,
And my results started to reflect my hard work.
I remember as I was running one day,
I looked at the ground along the way,
And I thought to myself; there’s no way,
That’s my skinny shadow reflecting back to me.
Now, as I look back at what I’ve done,
And the hard-earned victories I have won,
My real effort has only just begun
To reflect what I truly stand for.
And I want to say it would be truly great,
If I could use my experiences to motivate
People who need help and get them to a state
That reflects who they want to be.
So if you’re looking for an encouraging sign,
That everything is going to be fine,
And if you’re willing to commit to the grind,
Maybe my message reflects what you need to do.
A graceful young lady named Kate
would shimmy and leap and gyrate.
Her copious whirling,
maniacal twirling
caused Kate to shed half of her weight.
I really can't believe it!
It's that time of the week again!
Will the scale taunt me
Or prove to be my friend?
I've kept focussed, lowered syns,
Stayed faithful to the plan.
But at times the scale tells me
That it's not my biggest fan!
Yes, this can be demoralising
Can make a person blue,
Could fog out their future vision,
Make them wonder what to do...
It's then the inspiration comes
From members of the group.
"Let's trial out new methods,
Different meals, drinks and soup."
The next week, it passes fast
And to a members surprise,
They've achieved a weight Loss
Have fought off a foodie vice!
Was this down to the 'SP' regime
Or perhaps the reducing of syns?
No! It was their determination
And they inspire us to win!
Best way to stop being a large dork
Put that utensil down, named your fork!
5/16/2021
If your aim is to lose extra weight
and escape from what seems like your fate,
take this piece of advice
(the advice is concise):
put your food on a minuscule plate.
The cheesecake in the bakery I want to devour,
dag-gone my crumbling willpower!
It's cherry topping so high,
makes me want to cry.
I walk on past the candy aisle,
and gaze at the cereal shelves awhile.
Euell Gibbon's "sticks and pebbles"
Grape Nuts brand-
that kind of breakfast I cannot stand.
Give me a cupcake piled with frosting,
never mind, the "guilt calisthenics"
afterwards would be exhausting!
Stepping on the scale I hate,
I'd much prefer Kit Harington was my date,
yes, that's quite a fantasy,
so bugger off- I'm in my sixties!
My slim grandchildren eat like lumberjacks,
I gain easily, my metabolism is wack,
their ice cream consumption is legendary,
as I scowl eating yogurt and boysenberries.
If there is a monument somewhere for us
who try to lose weight,
before they engrave my name on, do hesitate,
as I'm hiding in my room and munching
in the dark,
peanut butter patties Girl Scout cookies-
but don't give me any snark!
BATTLE OF THE WEIGHT LOSS DRAMA
Here's the halfway mark,
of the weight loss embark,
and if you're like most who at least get started.
Somewhere during the course,
you fell off the horse,
and now you're feeling dishearted..
But remember all’s not loss,
you’re still the boss,
so never, toss, the babe out with the bathwater,
The Yo-yo's are apart of it,
you knew it at the start of it,
when taking on the weightloss charter.
So if you've gained most of it back,
at least you don’t lack,
the wisdom of one determined mama,
Put your dukes up again,
if you keep fighting you'll win,
the battle of the weight loss drama!
This was the year that I Iost all my flab,
Met so many people
Ì'm really quite glad
That i put on my shoes
And took to the floor,
Watch out 2020,
I'll be back for more!
This time last year you were strangers to me,
And now i see some of you four times a week!
I watch you all dancing, growing and changing
Ladies (and gents) you're really amazing.
Cares and worries are left at the door
As we all move together upon the dance floor.
This one loves dance from the Emerald Isle
This one is quiet with a beautiful smile.
This one plays piano, this one the flute,
The short one from Brizzle is really a hoot!
This one's cakes are incredibly tasty
This one runs like the wind, so hasty!
This one loves moving to her favourite songs,
This one laughs loudly when she gets a move 'wrong'.
This one loves gardening, her fingers so green,
This one the most beautiful dancer I've seen.
This one our matriarch, forgives all our gaffs, loves her days out and snorts when she laughs.
And him at the front,
Who brought us together,
Who's built a life here, despite all our weather.
Who believed I could fly
When I struggled to walk
If dance were a language,
You've taught me to talk.
So as this amazing year comes to an end,
Gracias para todo to all my new friends :)
December 2019
What should I do today
Doing everything the same way
Watching too much TV
It’s putting weight on me
Lack of movement causing pain
Knees hurt due to weight gain
My back hurts if I stand to long
Clothes to tight especially my bra
Sweets make my day
Trouble putting them away
No will power to keep at bay
When I walk my body sways
Going to start my diet today
Walk the pounds away
Exercise brings pain
Hope I don’t go insane
Sweat pouring down my face
Trying to run the race
A new life I need to embrace
So I don’t feel disgrace
Deflated my butt
Lost too much weight way too fast
Where do I sit now
Within without inside out screaming
The pain is unbearable you beasty twit
If you would just lose a leg or an arm
Crippled down bunched up dreaming
Your back is like a rack of ribs on a spit
Shut off this awful belly juggling alarm
Turn up turn out cantankerous filled brain
Take a damn load off before you faint
Around my hips, too much weight
In place of a stomach, I've a spare tire
My face is pudgy, slightly bloated
Dark forces against me conspire ...
But I've reversed course, I'm shedding pounds
Part of me's now in the Lost & Found
Though I'm not quite ready to celebrate
when I still tip the scales at 288!