Best Twisted Poems
Mardi Gras "The Medieval Story"
On a hot, heavy night in Orleans,
Joan and Jane were seen rubbing chest on chest
An inviting, intimate moment, to undress
Two pretty trimmed tops, eating like dames
They touched in ways, that drove those who make war insane
The secret spilled before the sun sprawled across the floor
Medieval England, banging on iron set doors,
All around men and women, wanting to witness the whiplash
Beads and beads of love, thrown at their feet
Joan' and Jane', having fun in front of, yesterdays courtyard
Sweet acts of flagellation were performed to stimulate the crowd
Screaming, and receiving, intense, brutal lacerations
In the eyes of endless nudity, everything wet in between
Left to right, a secluded society, dance in masquerade
Two men rise and ravage Jane, from hip to hip
Join-in, was a Jouster, and Lord Johnsburg,
They came in a little closer to claim, Joan
Closing, and inflicting as much damage as possible
Crestfallen forces of the unknown, -the audience grows
Remain firm and indulge this wet period of the Middle Ages,
The first crusade held stones in each hand,
Applauding to neck the beauty of friends
A noose hanging high held no head on this day
Yelling to feel the pain perils of anguish,
This was in reality the vassal of Jane
The King, ask to see them on their knees
Before he seeded, sending the Spanish tickler,
Fetching for the finest skin
At her end, Joan, watched Jane, spread like never before
Perfumed skin, rising up in smoke, -Joan's final stroke
Left burning at the Stake, In a Medieval World, from hell
The Siege of Joan and Jane did not end well
A lonely Bard, now sits and sings a sadistic tale,
A tale, of dirty deeds, -a dancing bloody masquerade
Joan and Jane, compensating for the Mardi Gras Parade
By: SKAT
oh, let me tell you a twisted tale . . .
of robin hood and a merry band of followers
but my story does not take place in folklore but in reality
todays story is of an archer, a person skilled with swords and words
skilled in disguise, taking many false faces
and like robin hood of ancient tales, draped in green but this green is jealousy
like the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together
blanketed in secrecy, having no moral compass to guide the evil
oh the hate is a cancer on my poems and beautiful words
my poetry a garden ravaged by this outlaw with a sharp arrow
devious, crafty, sly, calculating, deceitful, fake, scheming, shifty
we know each false disguise you hide behind
every fraudulent name and game
oh, back to the story . .
lets raise the curtain to this ancient tale
this robin hood and a merry band of followers
pretend to be good and kind but shoot arrows
trying to murder my words
from dark hidden places, mingling joyfully
shifty and crooked, shady but quite artful in ways of destruction
a shining star shaped shield of silliness
the way is dangerous in this spider web of lies
bloods seeps from my broken heart like red tears
leaf-strewn gales utter low wails like violins on my murdered poems
robin hood and the merry band of followers
spit them out like stones
and when I read their words, the words squirm like snakes
robin hood of ancient lore stole from the rich to give to the poor
this robin hood steals our poetic muse
not quite the hero of old
but be assured your swords and sharp arrows are nothing to me
because my poems will sail like swans on quiet waters long after you
are burning down below for your deceitful ways
______________________________
January 21, 2016
Poetry/Free Verse/twisted
Copyright Protected, ID 16-747-746-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
For the contest, Twisted Robin Hood
Sponsor, C.T.
Third Place
Somehow it seems life loses joy
A game, perhaps a twisted ploy
An end to those most tender years
The zest is gone, but life goes on
Till her last welcome breath is drawn
False hopes reality now clears
Somehow it seems life loses joy
A game, perhaps a twisted ploy
No one her age can still recall
The charms of youth that did enthrall
An end to those most tender years
False hopes reality now clears
Somehow it seems life loses joy
A game, perhaps a twisted ploy
For P.D's "Going Haiku Crazy" Contest
How Many?
going to St. Ives
met folks on that smelly bus
more than I could count
Just Sleep Walking?
Wee Willy Winky
caught outside a boy’s window
in a night garment
Got Wool?
naked in the lane
three bags-full of wool sheared off
baa baa black sheep fleeced
She Didn’t Know What to Do!
Kids’ cries from inside -
outside an old woman’s shoe
child welfare people
Clean Your Plate!
Licking their plates clean
Jack Sprat and wife do their part. . .
kids starve in China
The Treacherous Hill
pail of spilled water
Jill’s body sprawled over Jack’s
one big bloody mess
What a Ding Dong
good deed for the day
boy scout Tommy Stout by well. . .
scratches on his arm
Not Even a Bone
old Mother Hubbard
Social Security cut
dog needs a new home
Yellow Georgie
victims of Porgie
confront him in the playground
his true color shows
The Original Blonde
Bo peep loses sheep
birth of a new tradition. . .
blonde jokes being told
The Schemer
some spilled curds and whey
spider near a fallen chair
supping happily
Making the Best. . .
Humpty takes a spill
the whole army can’t fix him
omelets for lunch
Baby Catches On
the church and steeple
and now you show me people?
those are just fingers!
They Say He Couldn’t Keep Her!
gossip in the town
pumpkin shell big as a house. .
where is Peter’s wife?
Bye, Hushed Baby
the sound of wind’s rush
baby’s cries abruptly hushed
broken branch on ground
*I'm choosing this series of haiku for several reasons.
First, it's the only post I made named "Twisted" so it
is an obvious choice. Second, I do have other poems
I consider a bit twisted, but, I simply cannot
remember the titles of some of these really old poems
to look for them. Finally, this series was inspired by
a long ago contest of PD's in which I got the idea
to take nursery rhymes and twist them, and so
I'm reviving this series which can no longer be
viewed by anybody here unless it's in a contest!
Twisted segments
Somehow floated together
The missing pieces of a long forgotten puzzle
Found their home
Faded pictures brought back to life
Each telling their own story
Do they make you smile today?
I know it has been a while
The warmth of memories
Chasing negativity away
It is okay to start again
It is okay to lift your head up high
No one will judge you
No one dare to judge you
They never walked in your shoes
They never felt what you felt
This was and still is your journey
The choices you make
Are ultimately yours
You are a warrior
Sometimes twisted segments
Paints a brilliant picture
Even to the ones who stand on the outside
©132311102013
As I stand and look at you
I see the ropes around your neck
Can't you see what you do for me
How it makes me come alive inside
It leads me places I cannot hide
I see the fear within your eyes
I see your emotions laid bare for me
As I watch the way you react to me
You take me places I long to be
This is the way I was taught to be
And I can not go all by myself So
I hope you forgive me for the things
I'm about to do to you and with you
I see it in your face you long for it
For the things, I long to do to you
I know that you understand inside
For what we are about to do
I know that you forgive me too
These feelings just come over me
I need the presence of a warm body
To take me where I wanna be
I just can't help myself you see
Something just takes over me
When I'm done with you
I promise to set you free
I'm not playing tricks on you
I'll lay you to rest with the others
It really touches me to see you cry
I know it's because you care for me
And it truly makes me come alive
It's only a matter of time you know
This just might be your last day alive
So maybe you might try to be happy
This is the only way I feel alive
I'm bleeding for you truly I am
Can't you see how I feel inside
Tell me you love me before you die
Can't you see this is the only way
It's the only way I feel alive inside!
If love is a game I need a referee
If sex is a game I want instant re-play
I played the game of life but fouled out
Life stinks (Forgot to take a shower his morning)
Just my luck, life was but a dream and my alarm went off
Does a bear sh-t in the woods? (Don't think Polar Bears do)
When pigs fly, my windshield's in BIG trouble
The egg came before the chicken but some fool sat on it
I want to fly like an eagle but I have a fear of heights
NEVER venture outdoors when it's raining cats and dogs
Maggots began the tradition of getting married in June
She told me to go fly a kite but the take-off was rather chaotic
Two neighbors gossiped over an electric fence and were shocked at the news
If you need someone to lean on make sure they don't have Vertigo
A new cemetery employee is often assigned to the graveyard shift
A harried and harassed mother accidentally threw the bath water out with the baby
Due to inflation, every time it rains it rains, quarters from heaven
I took the money and ran but ran into an old friend...
You stung me with your waspish words
Injecting poison into my very soul
Again and again with those stinging syllables
Your words buzzed around my brain
Still you flew in and continued your scathing attack
It all came so easily to you
Viscous vitriol freely flows from your foul mouth
Deeper and deeper the venom seeps
You just stood there laughing at me
Continuing the little jibes and digs
Constantly belittling me
Criticising the way I look.
Mocking everything I say and do
Telling me I’m useless
The only thing you could never find fault with was my cooking -
I trained as a cordon bleu chef
My tears no longer flow
They have dried up like my self-confidence
Finally I can take no more
So I’ve cooked up a tasty little treat for you
Added my own special spice to your curry
I sprinkled flaked almonds on the top
They should mask the taste of the cyanide
Bon Appetite!
Dark and Twisted Contest Sponsored by Nathan D
09~21~15
Twisted popcorn lace decorates
The eastern pale blue sky
A canopy of delight hangs
Miles and miles up high
Upon the eastern horizon
An orange sun seeks to climb
Across the sun streaks of purple clouds
The sun arrives just in time
Apricot jam slathered across
Dripping stickily on pines
Silhouetting an outline there
Of oaks and pines combined
Thank you, God, for the beautiful
Artistic scene on the sky
A few moments to watch nature
And swallows dart and fly
I'm twisted inside,
like an old oak tree
that was once strong and strait,
now a gnarled mess of my own skin.
Blowing violently
with no control over my fate.
I feel frozen,
so cold that the heat of a thousand suns
could not thaw my cold, cold, heart,
and I've become a living time capsule
of my own miserable life.
I'm learning to live half alive,
a part of me dead,
rotting inside,
and filling me with filth,
yet to my surprise,
no one really tried.
I'll soon become a shell,
hollow and empty.
Everyday I feel myself draining
of blood
and the light that you might call a soul.
I'm twisted, filthy, frozen shattered inside.
I'm dark, dirty, and filled with sorrow and hate.
a scandalous secret gnaws
at the epicenter of my being
threatening to unearth
score pillars of dirt
upon which my world is built
gilded in reverence,
vaingloriously lauded
and parlayed to ascend sacred rungs
beyond the license of minions,
the legend grows
and grows
and grows
and though I know
my storied steeple,
as all things crooked,
will surely crumble someday,
I pray that it shall stay
erect
an irreverent crown;
a reaming tower of pisa
steeped in piety,
the envy of my faithful throng
preserved
to shatter the innocence of your delicate young…
~ Pablo
Driving down the twisting road
Into the night, the twilight abode
We twist and turn and up we go
Our destination, we cannot know
Just hold it in, we are so close
Adrenaline pumps like an overdose
The headlight glows on white quaking trees
And a slow, chill ripple felt in the breeze
Hold on tight, for this long dark ride
I'll hold you close, and be by your side
Together we will sleep under the moon
The night duration ends, all too soon
Take my heart let the world see
That only for you, my heart will be.
Twisted Heart
Bruised and throbbing. A twisted heart.
No going back, the point of no return.
You spit your “empty” words at me,
Though your words are far from hollow.
Words are daggers,
Thrown at your heart.
Meant to tear you down to your very soul,
A heart can only take so much.
Quivering. Callused. A twisted heart.
You thought it was stronger than before,
But they find new ways to tear you down.
They say actions speak louder than words,
But I believe they are equal.
In the eyes of the heart,
Even a look can break you.
Spiteful. Hostile. A twisted heart.
They made you what you are,
No matter what they say.
You act strong,
And try to keep them distant.
Treat them how they treated you,
But that would create a perpetual cycle.
They ask you what’s wrong,
But all you say is just a dull ache.
The word I chose was aching
In each fiction,truth echoes it's shadow.
Soundless words gather in the mist of your ever-changing stature
Contorting banter smothers the landscape of your toil
Your soul is defined through pillage of thought and pleasure
Whispers and taunts explode without truth
Circling the antics of foolish affairs
Your respect stains below wicked feet
Gnawing the attentive to reap consideration of being great
Your masquerade was open to me
Groping the passive nature from within
Accepting the ignorance of others
Clutching the fight for happiness
Insubordinate dupe your talent is lacked
Gather your forces I am not coming back