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Twisted Goose Goes Cuckoo for Haiku

For P.D's "Going Haiku Crazy" Contest

How Many?

going to St. Ives
met folks on that smelly bus
more than I could count

Just Sleep Walking?

Wee Willy Winky
caught outside a boy’s window
in a night garment

Got Wool?

naked in the lane
three bags-full of wool sheared off
baa baa black sheep fleeced

She Didn’t Know What to Do!

Kids’ cries from inside -
outside an old woman’s shoe
child welfare people

Clean Your Plate!

Licking their plates clean
Jack Sprat and wife do their part. . .
kids starve in China

The Treacherous Hill

pail of spilled water
Jill’s body sprawled over Jack’s
one big bloody mess

What a Ding Dong

good deed for the day
boy scout Tommy Stout by well. . . 
scratches on his arm

Not Even a Bone

old Mother Hubbard
Social Security cut
dog needs a new home

Yellow Georgie

victims of Porgie 
confront him in the playground
his true color shows

The Original Blonde

Bo peep loses sheep
birth of a new tradition. . . 
blonde jokes being told

The Schemer

some spilled curds and whey
spider near a fallen chair
supping happily

Making the Best. . . 

Humpty takes a spill
the whole army can’t fix him
omelets for lunch

Baby Catches On

the church and steeple
and now you show me people?
those are just fingers!

They Say He Couldn’t Keep Her!

gossip in the town
pumpkin shell big as a house. .  
where is Peter’s wife?

Bye, Hushed Baby

the sound of wind’s rush
baby’s cries abruptly hushed
broken branch on ground

*I'm choosing this series of haiku for several reasons.
First, it's the only post I made named "Twisted" so it
is an obvious choice. Second, I do have other poems
I consider a bit twisted, but, I simply cannot
remember the titles of some of these really old poems
to look for them.  Finally, this series was inspired by 
a long ago contest of PD's in which I got the idea
to take nursery rhymes and twist them,  and so 
I'm reviving this series which can no longer be
viewed by anybody here unless it's in a contest!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Post Comments
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Date: 5/16/2015 12:22:00 PM
lol, awesome, all of them
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Date: 11/14/2014 6:33:00 PM
Very creative, I don't know who would be more upset with you Haiku purists or Nursery Rhymes lovers. Funny too, great job. Fav.
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Date: 9/27/2011 11:03:00 PM
Dear Andrea, , I'm here to give all my old contest winners a late congratulations. Sorry, I forgot to leave everyone a thank you *comment* of appreciation~ I hope you don't mind my copy paste congratulations.. Don't worry I have read every entry more than 3 times. lol. or how else would have I closed it with out reading. Can you accept my apology and old congrats on your poem.. Honestly I don't like my contest winners with out a quick congrats,.. thank you,..p.d. the late bloomer
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Date: 9/27/2011 12:09:00 PM
Well crafted poem,Andrea.Many congratulations on your win!
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Date: 9/25/2011 9:58:00 PM
Third try to post... Love the take on these rhymes. Please don't teach them to the children. smile....Congratulations luv Marg
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Date: 9/24/2011 7:58:00 PM
ohh yes this is twisted LOL and most nursery rhymes started out twisted SO you have now pretzeled them! lol congrad's light & love
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Date: 9/24/2011 6:01:00 PM
Congrats Andrea on another grand win with this dazzling delight of twisted poetry my friend.. kudos on this one luv..
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Date: 9/24/2011 5:37:00 PM
Congratulations on your win with your twisted poetry Andrea. Love, Carol
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Date: 9/24/2011 1:08:00 PM
really fulfills the contest rules. And very entertaining. congratulations Andrea. Love, Joyce
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Date: 9/24/2011 11:44:00 AM
I love this one Andrea. So entertaining and cleverly written. Congratulations.
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Date: 9/24/2011 4:30:00 AM
Congratulations on the win in the contest of P.D., Andrea
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Date: 11/29/2010 8:35:00 AM
thankxxx Andrea.. appreciate the time and patience u took on this one luv.. enjoy your day going to see my honey poo at hospital now..
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Date: 10/27/2010 9:39:00 PM
I loved your comment about a virus and spending too much time on the Soup! I actually picked up a virus here once, that somehow made it through 3 firewalls! My computer-expert friend from work, traced it back to my Soupmail! Scary.
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Date: 10/19/2010 8:51:00 PM
Andrea, thank you for the reply on my sonnet. Ok, I see how I used the 'ize' rhyme too often! SHHHH! I was trying to keep it quiet! My friend, is the one commenting below your comments on that particular poem~Chris
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Date: 10/15/2010 5:25:00 PM
This is great, Andrea, good luck with the contest! Thanks for the comment on Composed. Know from articles/books written on fiction writing, show and not tell is the first commandment...not as familiar with the commandments of poetry writing, have taken no classes...winging it:)
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Date: 10/5/2010 2:47:00 PM
Congrats Andrea on your super win in the Haiku contest with these tremendous expressions in Haiku form.. enjoyed every one my friend and u enjoy your top spot tonight with luv..
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Date: 10/5/2010 12:33:00 PM
CONGRATULATIONS!! lol, I thought this was Nikko's oi! if I would have know it was yours I would have gave you a an H.M..(A JOKE) Andrea you know I'm kidding.. I loved the title. Thanks for giving my contest a chance. I sure did enjoy this one. Congratulations and thanks for supporting my contest. I had lots of fun running this contest,.p.d.
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Date: 10/5/2010 12:31:00 PM
wonderful haikus, congrats on your win in the contest
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Date: 10/5/2010 12:29:00 PM
Wow--This is such an awesome take on nursery rhymes, Andrea ^_^-- you sure got me snickering over these-- so much fun to read!! I can't choose a favorite-- they were all just so cool and funny! Congrats on your win :) hugs to you! nikko :)
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Date: 10/5/2010 12:24:00 PM
Loved the way you took nursery rhymes and did your Haiku's Brilliant Andrea. Phyl
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Date: 10/5/2010 12:11:00 PM
Congratulations Andrea on your win in P.D.'s contest *Going Haiku Crazy*. Love, Carol
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Date: 10/5/2010 12:10:00 PM
Congratulations on this well deserved win, Andrea
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Date: 10/3/2010 11:54:00 AM
Hi Andrea-I'm a blonde and I take offence to being called a sheep! lol Great fun with here and there an underlying message.I loved it. very much.Luv June
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Date: 10/2/2010 4:40:00 PM
Wow Andrea!?! I didn't know u was carrying like that, Yo! Funniest haiku I've seen yet!
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Date: 10/2/2010 1:54:00 PM
I love your nursery rhyme inspired series of haiku, very witty and amusing. I'm sure you'll do very well in the contest ~ Sharon :)
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