Best Teetotaler Poems

In Ordinary Cups

The blades of winter grind into the ice
like blood on a bitten lip
two lovers spin and twirl
The days pass from teacup to teacup
in...

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I once knew a sedate gent with class,  
who would not drink red wine at church mass.
Would take a wee sip,
to wet his wee...

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within Zieglerville, pennsylvania

genuine snow white hair 
upon her noggin doth adorn,
perhaps she will divulge to me (in private) 
after i croon (to said lass), 

the...

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My shew is no longer breathing
This I really do lament
My shrew is no longer kicking
I find myself in torment;
I wonder where its soul went;
Could it...

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Sunshine undulates across verdant plain
casting dark shadows ushering twilight zone
ringing athwart tree trunks
invigorating, joyously kickstarting, 
and plenti revitalizing
bountiful nature buzzfeeding 

vim, vinegar  and *****
caressing,...

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IN THE FLOWER OF HIS YOUTH

You are what you eat?
Bill, a young  guy,  friend of mine  -
Teetotaler and keen gardener neat -
Drank...

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There once was a woman named Sandy
Who liked jelly candies and apricot brandy
While her teetotaler husband was away
She drank a bottle of brandy that day
When...

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I asked my grandfather
why human beings drink
and get lost in drunkenness
I tell you my dear
those who get drank
were created by a drunken deity
those who do...

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THINGS  NOT  TO  MENTION

Condoms in the Vatican
Soul music to the klansman
      Pork chops to the rabbi
 ...

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From birth to a toddler 
As a toddler to teenager 
From teenage to adolescent 
And as I grew up 
I knew I'm weird
I knew am...

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Mary Yelvington
1876-1910

George Towne, now there was a man;
Handsome as the devil; 
Strong as a bougainvillea vine.
And married to the redoubtable Fannie Towne,
Town shill, and occasional...

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This teetotaler turns to tea
torquing temptation
towards tippling
thankfully, though
that tremendous tugging

teasing tendency thirst trumped,
thru teaching this totally tubular
toothless titular Texan thuggish tyrant
(titled Tsar Terry Troutman)
transcendental theology

tenets...

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Mistake:
Watch me do
impressions of you.

Alcoholic:
Keen to sop
up every drop.

Alternative Realty:
Truth don't matter,
bacon don't splatter.

Discerning:
Only expensive wine,
when we dine.

Teetotaler:
Enjoy your beer,
just not here.

Politician:
I don't lie,
you're my...

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this has no head or tail
medicine box containing diseases
crazy as the river
that runs in reverse
planet that lost gravity
the heart of things
pulsing outside
my coffee in ice...

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Voting without aggravation...

Otherwise known as
absentee ballot/ mail-in ballot
if ye read no further... please exercise
opportunity to cast ballot
obviously freedom to choose,
but take serious stock of human...

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