Best Spoiled Rotten Poems
Listen, my dears, and I'll tell you a tale
Of a princess, a pirate, and glory.
There's a shipwreck, a rescue,
A romance, a ransom,
And a handicapped whale in the story.
There once was a princess, fairest of all,
But also quite vain and spoiled rotten.
She had a semi-private
Affair with a pirate
That would be but for me now forgotten.
The pirate, Mad Jack, was bloodthirsty and crude,
When upset, he'd explode, blow his top off.
Merchant vessels he sank,
Made their crews walk the plank,
Or, more rudely, their heads he would lop off.
One day Princess Daphne set out to sea
With her maid, they were bound for Majorca.
But the maid, in a gale,
Was swept over the rail
And inhaled by an asthmatic orca.
Lifeboats were lowered, the crew clambered in
And rowed quickly away, only thinking
Of saving their own necks,
Not the princess below decks
Left alone on a wreck that was sinking.
Then through the storm a ship hove into view,
At first Daphne thought it would dodge her.
But before she could hail her,
She felt courage fail her,
From its mast flew a vast Jolly Roger.
When Princess Daphne was brought before Jack,
She was haughty but thought he was handsome.
But to his greedy eyes
This fair royal prize
Represented a shipload of ransom.
But Jack was still human, Daphne was too,
And soon they were sharing their privates.
To his quarters she moved
And his crew all approved,
No one loves a love tale more than pirates.
But what of the ransom, yet to be paid?
Well, here the plot gets even deeper.
The stingy king said to Jack,
"No, I don't want her back.
It's cheaper for me if you keep her."
So Princess Daphne became Jack's sea wife,
And though common, but not mandatory,
When they became parents
They stopped being pirates
And passed peacefully out of the story.
For now then, my dears, that's the end of my tale,
An adventurous one hard to equal.
But, if I may be so bold,
And there's more to be told,
It may one day unfold in a sequel.
Morning time...waking with sweets in my mouth
cinnamon carameltmarshmellowed out
breakfast cereal Sugar Dynamite
secret prize inside,bestows x-ray sight
Sugar shock,tooth rot,'60s psycotropic lollipops
an infinite selection @ Treat's Sweetshop
its addictive candy flavors
improves moods and bad behavior
beware of its dangers
sugar rush overdose and hypereality at most
Peanutbrittle,jawbreakers,misfortune cookie riddles
limesours with saccarine middles
crispycreams filled my mouth
multi-colored jelly beans,sweet and sour insideout
Chocolate candy bars filled the candy jars
cinnamon coal pepper scorchers
mouth and stomach torture
jellied fruit medley,candied vomit,flavor bliss
oatmeal crisps and spicey comets
cool peppermints sooth
my tongue stuck to sticky tarts stronger than glue
Sugared hyper,spoiled rotten
the last flavor blast,gone not forgotten
Narcotic treats penny gag sweets
firecracker gum
blistering flaming lip smackers
and moldy sugarplums
Blue cotton candy,caramel dandies,gingersnaps
assorted sugared snacks,
bubblegum taffy stale rotten candy
are tough chewing tasks
the good stuff in my secret stash:
vanilla cream mashed between two oatmeal cookies
even tried vegan fruikies
my heart's desire...
spent several days sugar wired...still ain't tired
When tastebuds crave an everlasting taste
even toothpaste's nothing to waste
suck,never chew hot swallows in haste
found tastebud relief
gulped this 32oz. blizzard
topped with chopped strawberry twizzlers
Nighttimes mean euphoric wake dreams
cool whipped creamed baked desserts
milkshakes quenched my sugar thirst
Next an ice cream brainfreeze sprinkled with the works,
Ate three slices of icecream cake unthawed,
and an entire carton of chocolate marshmellow smorgasborgs
smothered in toffee fudge crunch and caramel popcorn munch
Baked treats make each morning time sublime
Sugared creamed pastries cake sweet
Saccarine cereal tastes surreal
Chocolate sprinkled ,vanilla milkshakes
completes morning meal
Then the entire day of sugar shock toothrot
indulgence at Treat 's Sweet Shop
Enjoying a placid lake, so quiet
Fox trotting, sniffing the ground-
Then a loud, shrill scream of a
spoiled child.
Serene path, I walk as the guest of light breeze,
hand in hand strolling with my love
Then clouds burst into a sprawling
northern freeze.
Dirty snow, a rude employee, greedy people taking
what they please.
Liars, tall talers, lying for no need
Satisfied grunt of one who pays
no others heed.
A cruel hand bashing the weak
Evil words one so disregardingly speaks.
As with the offender, it is trouble
he always seeks
Leaving work from such a long day
pleased to relax my way
A homeless, skeletal man asking
for some change- the pity
Turned my thoughts gray
Snap your fingers, get it done quick!
Threats of any kind make me sick
A long drive just to get away Pitch and tent
and the ants come to play!
Racism, sexism, and ignorance
for no reason
This is not just annoying
And never changes with the season.
Those who take for granted
the love of family so readily given
Treating therm so terrible
Spoiled, rotten smart- mouthed
so selfishly driven
Sentient redwoods slain
Numerous bretheren of the
endangered nature die in vain.
These are a few things that annoy me-
Self important people smiling in that
bleach white grin-
For ever sneaking and canniving
under that sh++ eating grin.
I'd like you to meet my Uncle Joe
He's the vegetable of our family.
That is, if we listen to statistics.
According to them, the experts,
Since Joe didn't die by the age of five
He is now a vegetable.
Well! We wish every family
Could have vegetable like ours;
On that walks, talks
And has given us many years
Of pure pleasure and
More love than we'll ever deserve.
How many vegetables do you know
That give the world's best hugs
And tell you every day you are beautiful?
How many vegetables do you know
That pray for you every day?
How many vegetables can crack you up
By misquoting old sayings-
"You can lead a horse to water
But you can't make him stand on his head"?
Yes, we are extremely fond of our vegetable
He's been in our family
Over 50 years and although
He is pretty spoiled rotten by now
As vegetbles sometimes
Become after a time
We plan to keep him around for fifty more!
Go on, spoil me rotten
Wrap me in wooly cotton
Enroll me in a class
Where I’m taught the art of grass.
Like your food I always ate
Life is served up on a plate
Now I’m hard to satiate
And you’re the object of my hate.
CH
Give me what I want,
Give it to me now
If you won’t placate me
I take it anyhow
Give it, give it, give it,
Give it to me now,
If you won’t placate me
I take it anyhow.
Go on, spoil me rotten,
Until I’ve forgotten
How to live a decent life
Let alone attract a wife.
But, hey, I’m qualified
To tell lies of how I lied
It’s all music to her ears
It’s the truth mother fears.
CH
Go on, spoil me rotten,
I’m your misbegotten
Eighty pounds over weight
Got a job hauling freight
From Brazil to LA
Where my tic gave me away
To someone from the DEA…
My lawyer had a field day.
CH
I’m no longer spoiled rotten
I wear denim, not cotton
Can’t get hold of a fix
To ease these incessant tics.
I’ve lost weight and all hope
Clinging to an end of rope
Knowing now my selfishness
Was nurtured by your weakness.
Take what you want,
Take it off me now,
If it don’t placate you
I give it anyhow
Take it, take it, take it,
Take it off me now.
If it don’t placate you
I give it anyhow.
Skies are dark and dreary,
This day we won't forget;
Ol' Ollie was our favorite,
Far more than just a pet
A naughty lil' imp,
Knock-kneed and proud;
Meowin' like a siren,
Geez, that cat was loud!
It was on this frigid morning,
We lost our furry friend;
Reality's stunning anguish,
Death fails to comprehend
Spoiled rotten and witty,
You'd swear he was a dog;
A happy treat to pacify,
While sleeping like a log
Looking on the good days,
Diminished are the bad;
We lost a friend forever,
The best we've ever had
Death never comforts,
We failed to see your end;
Our tears concede to obscurity,
Farewell to a loyal friend...
Ever Since
Forever, I loved my mother and father
They never complained or tried to bother
But soon found out I was spoiled rotten
So they stuffed each ear with cotton.
Even though she truly was a terrible three
My sister had always been as bad as me
We would pick a daisy and were lazy
And did drive our patient parents crazy.
Somehow we had raised so much static
Hair stood on end and we became erratic
Like loser poets thinking that they can
Give poem brush off then use dust pan.
After each perturbing poem was collected
And like a puzzle pieces tightly connected
Results had become a horrible aftermath
Poets poured water then they took a bath.
Each poem was brainwashed from his mind
Had a great, bright idea and he bee-lined
To you and up poems made others tense
And Soup hasn't heard from me ever since.
James Thomas Horn, Retired Veteran and Poet
We leave at eight PM tonight from Raleigh for
London. Can hardly wait. We are sure that the
Royal Princess cruise will be something else out
of South Hampton to Guernsey, Ireland, Scotland
and Normandy and return. This might be one of
my last poems for a while.
By Their Grandmother
England to me greatest place on earth
Where they have a royal, beautiful birth
With so many smiles appearing everywhere
While baby was being handled with care.
Car seat was even put in proper place
And correct direction baby will now face
As off to immaculate palace we all go
Where wife always keeps husband in tow.
They looked at crowd from a tall deck
And you could actually see a hen peck
But being everyone was so far away
Peck only privately was on display.
Each one was saved and in closet stored
And each time when they became bored
Princess to all did appear to be mean
By bringing out pecks so they could be seen.
Prince and princess filled each ear with cotton
And won't hear child who was spoiled rotten
Make sure on best behaviour will be another
So child can be seen by their grandmother.
That love she thought had vanished I can reexpose
Heart frozen like a mannequin but I can change her pose
Rebuilding her foundation using words for tools
Rewriting her souls brochure and changing all the rules
Carving around this diamond and leaving her essence intact
So brilliant the new colors she now becomes abstract
I speak to a broken heart from hundreds of miles apart
Incinerate her old baggage breath life into her new start
My loves gonna have her spoiled rotten
Softenin her emotions she's damn near cotton
I am he whom she seeks beyond the wet sheets
The one who can mentally put her to sleep
Whisper in your ear and collapse all your fear
Evaporate tears whenever Im near
I dont think she'll ever be ready
Make her heart flutter and aint talkin deadly
How long can you guard a door meant to be opened
Trying to mend a heart previously broken
Finding locks but keys have been stolen
Hand full of aces but nobody's foldin
Somebodies gotta be the one to open
That icebox of the soul when all else is frozen
Reading her eyes cause no words are spoken
Her mind was on fire I still see it smokin
Charley was being obnoxious so I took away his hedgehog,
it’s such a small toy anyways for a big Doberman dog.
A spoiled rotten boy who whined for an hour or so
hoping to get his way and that hedgehog I’d throw.
I wondered inside just how long could Charley go?
Little terror who’s not so little since he was a pup,
still my favorite handsome boy who’d always act up.
Three years old and still behaving like a punk child,
an innocent boy in the morning, at night a devil wild.
No matter how out of control he acted, I still smiled.
Charley was looking out the front room sill one day,
saw a Maltese walking but to him looked like a prey.
So he trampled through the window and ran ahead
right up to the little girl to smell her behind and head.
Funny how a rough and tough boy can be gentle instead.
See there’s nothing as sweet as a Doberman Pinscher,
even though he may not have the longest softest fur.
But Charley has a heart of gold even when acting mighty,
and gives slobbery kisses when he says nightie-nightie.
Eventually I gave him his hedgehog…he still acted flighty.
So give your doggie a kiss today and love it in every way-
you never know when your fur-angel will bark and fly away.
I chose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O83lmO1lNDc
Doberman Pinscher Contest
Edward Ibeh
August 13, 2018
It has been 30 years since you have been gone, Mom. I was 18 and you were almost 37, too young.
For you Dad it has been almost 10 years. 58 was also too young.
Life has had its ups and downs.
Mom you have 2 grandchildren by me, 1 by brother, and 2 by sister.
But you probably already know all this.
Because sister you have been gone 6 long years. 40 years old also
young.
Dad, I had 1 more grandchild, a boy.
He is a lot like you, sometimes I wonder if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
Now you have 3 Great-Grandchildren, all little boys.
Sometimes life has been so hard.
Grandmother is gone and so is Aunt M.
You all have no idea of how much your missed and loved .
I think sometimes things may have been different if you were all here, but then again maybe not.
Sometimes I think about how I wish the grandchildren had you all here.
Things have really been hard for them.
I cry thinking about what they are all missing.
How spoiled rotten and so very loved they all would be by grandparents.
How lucky I was to grow up with a full family and have mom, dad, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and even great-grandparents, for as long as I did.
I think I cry knowing the comfort and love that they will be missing from grandparents.
Life is so short and could be gone in an instant, as I have learned.
They say time heals, maybe to an extent.
I know time has gone by and I still miss you all.
Okay! Okay, just gimme a minute, or maybe even two.
It's just like you to pull up a chair just so I can sit next to you.
But I know you well enough not to fuss about anything at all.
Or
You will holler and hoot and act like a pouty faced doll.
Googling slime lids! Not salads once again; no not today!
Every food day is full of special green covered goon hay:(
You must feel really smart, eating fancy food that tastes like grass picked right off of the plains.
And the dreadfully endless tongue twisting, chew spitting and trying to pronounce all the intellectualized names.
You're evermore unflattering food names make everything I say, sound so rude; who!
But seriously though dude, it's not like I am obligated to eat with you; few!
But all of that sounds so bland, like organic sugar free maple syrup covered in fresh beach gathered sand.
So I promise I'll be a good little guest and wash my sweet syrup beach blonde maple colored hands.
If I wasn't being spoiled rotten or being tortured by nice,
You may have noticed our WAITER just drop off some cranberry ice.
You didn't know about juice flavored ice from Dwin?
I thought everyone knew about my fidgeting twin, named Lynn from the fruit flavored Iceland of Dwin.
I mean common, she's out of town, why else would I have this extra chair to sit in?
I brought cash so just forget about your half of the tip, I couldn't help myself indeed; as I ate all of your Doll-Yapper seeds.
They too are native to Dwin and beat the greens off your funky salad twin and beans.
Honestly though, I only sat down here for some strange on the clock fun.
And aside from being Debra Downer, (my real name), I Got paid to pull up a chair to relax and sit on my buns!
END
May 18, 2017
gimmie, gimmie, gimmie.
you've got me begging like a baby.
and you know i am such a lady
but this gold has got me crazy.
hazy, hazy, hazy,
under skies of purple daisies.
i'm pouting my lips like a young girl.
and i can't help how my toes curl
every time you bring that glamour around.
honey, hope you haven't forgotten
i only smell this sweet
because i'm spoiled rotten.
no one deserves so much so fast
but i found that it doesn't hurt to ask.
ever since i was little
i knew how the world worked.
manipulate and replicate
until the world is yours to take.
is it a sin to have your cake
and eat it too?
even if the party wasn't for you?
the name on the cake says "princess"
and i'll blow out the candles till i'm blue.
because i'm royalty, now.
with eyes made of diamond
and a heart of coal,
soaked in silk worth more than el sol.
i'll meet you downstairs by the bar.
when the sky's as rose tinted as your glasses
i'll help you dig up treasure in the sand by la mar.
"UH-oh" he says when I call out his name.
"uh-oh" he replies when I say it again.
"Mama" is what I hear when it's something he wants,
And fights 'till the end 'cause he knows he can win.
"dada" comes home,
"Dada" is the phone,
And most everything else at this point.
Spoiled rotten is this boy
That I spend my days with.
Everyone says he's such a good baby,
If they only knew it was a myth!
Fading From The Light
Into this darkness, I thought I was free. Could you count the minutes of joy I had now there gone never again will they come back.
Now I’m burning from the tears that stain my face that broken my heart. You know what this face show no concern no emotion playing the hard case playing the bad guy I’m playing roles acting, you want to know why? I have put myself into a role I didn’t want a role that I didn’t need I was being someone who wasn’t and isn’t still me. I need to make sure people saw what I wanted what they need to see from me that was my role, even if this role meant I had to be alone and live in the darkness yet shined so brightly before other. I’m wish to disappear from this life to go and travel into a world that had I no knowledge of I just wanted freedom and yet I kept my self chained down for if I released myself I would destroy my very being the only thing I knew and go against every moral and principles I held my self at. If I played this person I can keep my self-tied down that animal the free spirit. Oh how I want to release myself to the skies but now I’m living the role fading and disappearing is all I wanted but I’m shining is all I can do. I’m actually fading yet shinning what am I to do to hide my inner self I will do anything to keep my image like it is. But I’m fading from you because as much as I wanted my inner self to be released you wanted to leave you wanted me to be alone, how could I ever believe what you tell me? You never knew how much I wanted to leave this world just so you wouldn’t have to see me but I can only say oh well and move on what there better to do than the that. If you want to leave that not my choice but once you do I can release my self from this body even if I sound spoiled rotten bratty and none appreciating I love everything that happen for me. I knew you didn’t trust me I knew every word I believe would hurt me but in the end I want to sleep to slowly fade my last words will be good night.