Best Shite Poems
Jan 2015
2 wrongs
don’t make a right
Tit for tat
Chit for chat
Like for like
Spite for spite
Yes and no
Friend and Foe
Black and white
Sugar and shite
Forward not back
Defend not attack
Forgive not forget
Learn not regret
Cement Pillow
Blame, blame, blame
makes playing life’s game so much easier to do…
Shift it, change it, switch it as long as it ain’t put on you.
Blame, blame, blame
Mom’s the easiest target…
since dad I never knew.
Blame, blame, blame
Let others wear the shame…
As you rip a beat/ freestyle & put on a show…
Convinced that such is true, that chip on his shoulder is free to grow & grow.
Blame, blame, blame
No! Son try a ‘lil’ Socratic Reasoning…
You might find out it was truly all your own choices & actions…
In reality the blame all belongs to you.
Blame, blame, blame
“No, no, no!” Is the retort I get…
Look back in truth with that gifted brain
Choosing still to refrain,
cause the performance is way cooler, when one has been ripped off and beaten down by one who’s sposed to help you make gain.
Blame, blame, blame
“If I truthfully look back, think hard and follow the logic, I might have to accept that it was my own choices and actions…Shite! I really did create my own bed!”
No worries, son, you have naught to dread... my love is unconditional and just continues to spread.
Jill Spagnola
Anyone can write…
and drown in their self-delusions;
from persons into personifications
lists of passions, glorify self's illusions;
down those lists,
most veiled by incomprehension
one's passion is most often expressed
as the byproduct,
of misconstrued personal emotions;
therefore, in these briefs that follow
rest some seeds for those
whose mental fields lay perpetually fallow…
Xenocrates, his gods being unity and duality
i.e. episteme, aisthesis, and doxa
are lost to US,
by rue of epistemonike aisthesis;
Mersenne's numbers,
to Eratosthenes' sieve
Erd?os' factorization,
and Archimedes' constant conceived;
Holy vowels expressions!
Great Gobs of Goose shite, please!
release US from this context,
relieve this tumultuous tease;
probe Bertrand's Postulate,
exposing your thinking's
prime numbers seized;
however shallow, and wordless
your tongue tied thoughts do concede…
so many things are above me,
so many more lay beneath
my scratching, itching, and twitching
these are reminders of my simpleton's grief…
in this fiat before me
on these issues held, and in my beliefs
that my mind is much more
than the street corner tavern's
proverbial hat rack…
now that's a relief!
What is it within US?
that sullen darkness and introversion hides
those snide daily reminders
the eclipse of the sun
and or a debutante's swoon
a cheap parlour tricks wonder
or that pin-striped baboon's face
we each express as we howl at the moon…
Excuse me this meandering
but, it is my gut busting chortle
you now so surely conceive
that this little snippet from our dear William
does so help you believe
that we all live this one time
so as ourselves, do profoundly achieve
what your inquisitive conscience
exposes as your life's
most constant semibreve…
['Think of this life; but, for my single self,
I had as lief not be as live to be
In awe, of such a thing, as I myself.']
in conclusion of
this bit of confusion
do infuse this allusion
as your daily transfusion
of the smack of illusion
and the sole, blithe, transformational revolution
now necessary for your mindset's
ever changing and ongoing mental de-evolution.
Up sprang a gust of playful wind
scattering cherry blossom in this Maytime spring
swirling about legs, old and rickety
leaving a scene of enchanting serendipity
'twas a canines randomly sprinkled stools
transformed into petal encrusted jewels
euphemized on this fine day
which nature wind and circumstance favour
a setting made possible by a mongrels behaviour
an accidental work of art
forged by the elements taking part
this vision of wonder, the soul to delight
blossom covered,,,,,,,lumps of shite.
Wood burner, smoke choke,
Dog shite, bullfight.
Hashtag, manbag.
**** bleaching, hate preaching.
Save the fox, change your clocks.
Prom queen, crime scene.
Chocolate fountain, food mountain.
Buy to let , insure your pet.
Cake bakers, bookmakers.
Dash cam, phone scam.
Raise the bar, electric car
Make your own, payday loan.
Lendlease , family feast.
Babestation, masturbation.
Homogenised, androgenized.
Male grooming, future looming.
Cold war, Godwin's law.
Online games, baby names.
Many, many many more......
Sebun Nihonjin Okoku no Senso (War of the Seven Japanese Kingdoms):
Sebun utukushi okoku wa, senso o sengen shimasu (Seven Beautiful Kingdoms Declare War), Heishi no su sen-ri ga senjo ni ran’nyu shimasu (Thousands of soldiers storm onto the battlefield), 7 Shido-sha-tachi wa, kareka no buki o kakimasu (seven leaders draw their weapons). Karera wa Juden to shite densentu-tekina tatakai ga hajimarimasu! (the legendary battle begins as they charge!) Shototsu! Buki wa hokia ni shototsu shimasu. (Clash! Weapons strike against another.)
Toshi~Tsu ga gokaku shi, sora ga kuraidesu. (years pass, and the sky is dark) Sora Kara kaminari kurakku, (thunder cracks from the sky) Doragon ga Tobu yo ni toboe o kite imasu! (Howls are heard as dragons fly down!)
Kareka wa sugu ni modotte heiwa o nattoku sa semasu. (they quickly conivnce peace back.) Seijo ni tochi to sora ritan, (the lands and sky return to normal,) Okoku wa heiwa ni modorimasu. (the kingdoms return to peace.) Hitobito wa hinemosu pati de iwaimasu! (the people celebrate with a daylong party!) Ryu wa futatabi ie ni tobimasu. (the dragons fly home again.)
Owari. (End.)
a smile you never forget
In Yokohama the moon is so bright
there is woman watching TV tonight
today the rain fall and she got wet
and she wears a smile you can,t forget
when I am having a long day
that seems to last in to the night
all she got to do is smile
and everything is suddenly alright
the Japanese sunlight
comes out this morning
and she's sound asleep
and gently snoring
and I touch her hair
and kiss her cheeks
she is so soft and nice
like a candy treat
and when the weight of the world
comes down upon my shoulders
I cant wait to reach home
take her in my arms and hold her
"HAI- AI-SHI-TE-RU (I love you)-
Anata-o muchu-nano(I am crazy about you)
the woman with the smile you cant forget
she is so beautiful like a Japanese sunset
we are having dinner tonight
she likes to eat curry
and two glasses of Shochu
a Japanese liquor she introduce me
her favorite is color purple
and she loves the blue rose
and she looks so lovely
in traditional Japanese cloths
and when she looks at me and smile
she is my every dream come true
Kekkon shite-kureru? - Will you marry me?
Kimi ni muchu nanda - I'm crazy about you
since she come in my life
she brighten up my day
her smile is a promise
that every thing will be okay
when she takes me in her arms
I am in heaven without a doubt
her smile lightens my heart
and it’s something I cant live without
she change my life
from the first time we met
this beautiful Japanese girl
with a smile you cant forget
Hajimete ata tokikara sukidata -
I've loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you
Hana no youni kirei - You are as beautiful as a flower
Itsumo aishiteru - I will always love you
and when she looks at me and smile
she is my every dream come true
Kekkon shite-kureru? - Will you marry me?
Kimi ni muchu nanda - I'm crazy about you
Yawn
Yawning
I am in love with my bed
While my bloody alarm
Pains my head
Got to get up
Snooze button stuck
Because if I wish to remain employed
And i don't arise from my pit
I am in serious shite
As I am on my final warning
At this point how I would give anything to be rich
Because work is a *****
That money could fix
My head to my bed
And waking to the dread
Of i can't believe my life has come to this
Are you taking the Piss
Ribbon as red as blood floating in the air
The blowing wind gives it a bit of a flair
The yellow one beneath it waving the other way
As though it wants to be left astray.
Is not our lives that way I truly envision
Yet looking closely it needs supervision.
The green ribbon twisted to the pole
For this dance this it has no role;
the yellow helping itself up like a newly lit flame
Its stamina is bleak has nothing to proclaim
Our lives struggles with hurdles to jump
We work hard yet our finance always on a slump.
The blue ribbon dancing all the way without stopping
It makes the others jealous others their hearts throbbing;
The virgin white on top of the pole in command
It’s the prolific one it wants to be in demand.
Now I think of my life comparing it to the white
It is quite different, in fact it is completely shite.
I have already entered one for the contest but since I liked the theme I wrote another one.
TING means “thing” said she who masquerades as my niece with the tongue stud and nose ring.
We used to put them in our ear, now they put them anywhere
BRAH is new for “bro” and does not have to be of your blood
Normal requirements would be a pit bull, mountain bike and hood
YOLO, now this one got me at first but after a minute
My niece stated that It means “you only live once” innit
BEEF easy, something you eat with veg and a roast spud
Nope, its full blown Armageddon and he's after your blood
BOUNCE means to go, scram, leave, nothing to do with up and down
I’m bouncing man, I'm off, gonna hit the town
Butters, she is butters man, nice fit body but ugly mush with no desire
We used to say you don't look at the mantle piece when you are poking the fire
HENCH, body building broadness, with or without the need of a gym
But if you don't lift the weights or drink the glucose protein, then stay forever slim
DENCH, relating to girls, cool, nice, fit, pretty, awesome, even a bit slow
I wouldn't mind giving her one, once or twice, what say you BRO
SWAG or be a SWAGGER is, self with egotistic attitude and pose
We have all met them and they get right up your nose
LEGEND is one who has done something "sick" which means "cool" at school
Like pouring Hydrochloric acid on a stool or pissing in the pool
JARRING not as some think, like pickling onions or even jam
Its your getting in my face and your gonna get a SLAM, which at a hunch is a punch
BOOM, is losing in a verbal battle, your argument has hit the floor
There are millions of them but I will give you just one more
OWNED is when someone has bored the ballocks of you all day with some shite story that just got worsen
Then you retaliate with a really cool one which means you own that person
DENCH! hey
I went to bed last night
everything was fine,
I woke up this morning
I couldn't believe my eyes.
My hair was dyed green
a slipper was in the sink,
when I get a hold of that leprechaun
he's going to pay, the little fink.
My cat was on
the kitchen ceiling fan,
my dog was stuck
inside my trash can.
He had put my underwear
in the toilet,
he's going to get it soon
the mischievious little shite.
He put shampoo
in the hairspray,
and my deodorant was
in a dirty ashtray.
Today I won't be
drinking any green beers,
I had just found
cotton balls in my ears.
I went running after him
he slammed the door in my face,
he's going to get it bad
he's got paper thrown all over the place.
He put some bacon grease
all over my stairs,
this mischievious little shite
makes me feel like pulling out my hair.
He hid under the bathroom sink
to hide away from me,
I wish he would just get lost
and let me be.
I grabbed hold of him
and wrung his little neck,
he won't do this next year
that's a sure bet.
Copyright © Cynthia Jones
Mar.17/2005
Login’s For Me, Me, Me!
Some carers are shite, debasing and all that, not fit,
Because just when I’m speeding to end my session,
When they’ve come in on another patronising visit,
They come over, bend down and adjust their vision.
So I growl in a low voice “Wot?” and they even proceed,
To say “What are you doing?”, so I cover up the screen,
With my fist, glance to the kitchen, sit up and concede,
“Nothing,” then they recede back to where they’ve been.
I change my login each time a new carer starts,
‘Cos they peer, peer, peer at my action of entering,
The numbers, and don’t seem to understand their quarts,
Are not intelligent, that they are myself outmanoeuvring.
I can only change my passcode a certain few times,
Since I am not Kevin on Eggheads so only remember,
A handful of historical events for password recall oftimes,
And that memory efforts are not for my times of slumber.
It’s different if I’m playing a game, that’s communal,
High scores are topical and cheats are conversation,
But I never play, and even if I did, that’s personal,
‘Cos I’m not as quick anymore, feel like a station!
MIRROR MIRROR
Mirror, mirror as i gaze at you on the wall, I am sure.....
I am Paul not Paula
I am 6" 2" I am not any shorter
I am black I'm not white
I ignore the darkness, embrace the light
I have dreads with blond bits in my hair
I'm a well built grizzly not a cute care bear
But mirror answer me this am I clever or stupid
Am I poisoned with the arrow of Cupid
Have i mastered the written language, the spoken word
or do I just talk shite or is the last statement absurd
I look in the mirror
i ask am a saint or a sinner
Am i ugly Betty or a beauty pageant winner
Does the sun shine when I enter or is the room empty when I leave
Mirror on the wall I ask non but truth
i implore you not to deceive
Mirror mirror on the wall
if I am the fairest then answer my call
Mirror your a reflection back says what you see
But I wonder how I reflect on others and how they see me
Paul (Predman) Powell 24/5/11
I understand, not much; or plenty
of understanding that which is understood
an understatement; really! To understand
that which is under stated; understatement’s head!
or ball cap, or ball sack, or gunnies sack, or Sad Sack!
Go ahead, stretch out your sack; cloth’, and
shake out the bone and ashes of your thoughts
with opened minds, and opening hearts; un-conform
your lives! Let your worldly shite fly… away!
Release your words, give this Earth her chance
to heal; your sin! Then again, maybe, kinda;
sort out of this whole; faith’s part; just to start
a fire to burn the wickedness from your weary souls!
Accept the new that has come for you
all!, and all of your relations
not religion’s smacking downs or inhumanity’s inept visions
of what the ending of your time on Earth will be… come!
One; come all, welcome to my STURM-A-CANE!
a more current and timely definition of this mission
that I accepted on be-halve of humankind!
That the all of US, may bare new fruit and
not those sharp and pro-baited demonic fangs!
Some new’ definition; of ONE’S SPECIAL PURPOSE
OR, SO; IAM PROPOSE’
I got fired
For being awarded Most Desired
The truth got liared
I got tired by the fact that you are wired
A different way than me
Why can't they clearly see
That I'll make a difference in this world of labels?
This world is like a wifi that has been running on a ticking bomb of jacked up cables
Going thru a relapse of suicidal thots before and after
I hand you flowers of forgive-me-please after a disaster
After a rainstorm comes a rainbow of radiance,
A tragedy in reverse...a miracle cure, a prance dance - enhance my joy with Royal elegance
Loyal me up as soon as I give in to my old ways (that's what's up)
Cuz I've been unfaithful...mhm, truth sincerely hurts
To You, him, and her and I feel like giving up...I'm a filthy cup in the dishwasher, but I will be a spic-and-span cup (it shocks me to know many have given up so easily...I'm a whimpering pup)
I've been acting ungrateful...I'm inside out shirts...
I'm in my doom-gloom dorm,
Keeping warm through it all...I've crashed due to an epic fall or an accidental fantastic fail
I'm an weird, empty Earth worm
Seeping through the wooden floors that are as tough as a well-built wall...you're a tough trail to tread...I'm a message never sent by mail
Got crazy
A lil lazy
Got naturally hazy
Off of hyper wild-child
Inside me - so not mild
For a while, my mind has been piled
With nonsensical, fickle desire of my elevating empire
I am home with my cheesy nachos on my lap while singing "Girl on Fire"
I'm higher than the clouds cuz I'm high off of laughter and bliss...something I cherish and admire
It's cool to be real
It's not legit to be fake
Ah yeah, it's not a big deal
Hit the brake for my sake
Regret nothing
Quit that fussing
You're my everything
Carry on, do your thang
Off you trot
Don't let me Rot
On the spotlight...
Tonight...despite your black and white ways of sparkling spite and under-your-spell might that shines so bright and it's wrong when it's right
I'm a kid without his kite
Stab me with love-me-not loathe - I can take it without throwing a childish fit with a mature kit with freezing fire foolwit
I'm sorry - I feel like shite
I know I broke the friendship oath - I still luv u a bit, I must admit