Best Security Guard Poems
A-n early morn has broken,
B-ringing light to Sunday;
E-vening rain disappears,
G-ray haze fades away.
A-nother dusk has turned
I-nto a break of new dawn;
L-et the twilight leave, as the shadows are gone.
A-llow your life to go on,
B-egin to move forward;
O-pen your bag January twenty-ninth,
N-o one evades the security
G-uard.
You give into peer pressure and hesitantly cut class,
So you can smoke cancer sticks and,
Get high in the school bathroom with,
Five other boys that are your so called friends,
A security guard smells the cigarette smoke and,
Chases you out of the bathroom and down the hall,
Everyone gathers at the classroom windows to watch,
As eight more guards join in on the chase,
You run up and down the halls all the way to the eighth floor,
Quickly you hide in a supply closet as the guards turn the corner and run past,
Once the coast is clear you sneak back downstairs to the first floor,
Unwittingly you stop to talk to a girl,
In doing so the guards spot you on the cameras and give chase once again,
Unsuspecting you are rushed at by a guard and tackled,
Soon after all of the other guards pile on top,
All the while the girl you were talking to watches in amazement as you're,
Hauled off in flex cuffs to the principals office,
You sit in silence as the principal yells at you and,
Gives you three weeks of detention,
All the while you never knew that a fellow student recorded the whole ordeal,
And posted it on youtube under the name,
"kid gives school security guards a run for their money"
Which has already been viewed over three million times in the last five minutes,
You don't know it yet but you just went from being a nobody,
To a five star bad boy,
Security guard
I was broke, no work for me at the shipping office,
got a job guarding tractors; sat in a hut that was cold and had no heating
and bad light. Well, this job was better than sitting at home
lamenting my unemployment, but my god was it boring.
Sat on a tractor pretending I was a farmer ploughing a potato field,
and that was tedious too. The uniform they had given me
was too small for my frame looked like a walking scarecrow.
At midnight another guard came to take over and I asked him
how he could survive the tedium. Me, he said I go to sleep
I have full time work during the day.
Next day I got a phone from the shipping office it had been
difficult they said I had a reputation for not playing ball
and being argumentative; took the job handed in my uniform.
Always right with me, behind my back,
The enslaved don't have hope,
I go, I read, but it stuck with my skin, with me,
The shadow ransacks behind, a nervous contour.
Always to us days conceal a pressure,
There is no ease of space on rising,
The invisible soldier squeezes hoops,
The security guard constant in a campaign.
Without knowing a tightness of steel fetters,
We live, we slide, meeting on the road,
But shadows..., shadows in a trace thoughtfully look,
Without us they aren't present, without us they a trifle, - dust on soles,
That stuck on a threshold.
"Be rich, or die, trying to become," -
The line in number Ferrari is punched,
The shadow can do everything, doesn't dare to fly only..., -
To the earth on iron chain chained.
Security Guard
I failed to get a licence to turn my snack-bar
into a wine-bar, at the time the later was unheard of
now they are everywhere; it appears I was
ahead of time, anyway, not cut out to stay all day
selling burgers, hotdogs and sweet drinks sold it and
for a while, I could sleep till nine.
Snoozing does not pay for itself I had to find a job
night- work as a security guard at a building site.
I was reading poetry at the time and noticed bards
of yore came from wealthy families or had someone to
pay their bill for sexual favours, as I was not that way
inclined resigned my lousy paid job and went to sea
when my ship was in port, I found a godforsaken bar
continued to read, drink and dream
THE DREAMS
Surely, one day
We will have to get to our way
Forgetting the bad past
Hoping for the good future really fast.
Working day and night
Whether under a torch or a sunlight
Keep succeeding, oh my dear,
Keeping the things in the mind very clear.
Your nightmares should scare you
And the will be the one to dare you
But don't forget to think extreme
And feel accomplished after completion of your dream.
Everything gets changed by a positive hope
Every stream has a great scope
Until it's done,
You foolish, don't even think the battle has been won.
Start working hard
Or else become a security guard
You can do everything with your strong will
And soon the results will make you thrill.
Do the hard work now
So that you aren't embarrassed and have to bow
Try not quit
Just accept a bit.
Fix your hard goals
If you want to enjoy and eat a rice bowl
Take it up as a mission
Only one thing in your vision.
How fast goes away the time,
Now stop playing with the slime
Be brave but do not cry
Answer everyone who asks you why.
This is a very tough fight
But work hard if you want to be in the spotlight
So, try and give a start
Hope you all will become smart.
You should have its fear
You could even get your eyes filled with tear
Everything is very precious
And good future us auspicious.
Sponsor: EMILE PILET
Everybody in the building knew
what happened the other day
Everybody in your home office knew too,
your carefully crafted cover was blown
Big news media explosion made it get blown away,
no one now believes a word you say
Years of portraying yourself as something you were not,
exposed now as a blowhard who simply bragged a lot
Said you would’ve taken down Mafia gangster John Gotti,
if you’d been given the chance,
Boasted you would’ve captured terrorist Osama Bin-Laden,
if he hadn’t turned rabbit and ran
Big talking security guard you were ...
until the robbery occurred
Cameras caught you in the ladies bathroom hiding,
and your cowardly shame went viral
You became a national joke
Comedians said you were protecting those scared women,
who had their skirts down
Witnesses said you were inch-worming towards the toilet stalls
with your face hugging the ground
Some enterprising entrepreneur was selling T-shirts that said:
“Throwing a thug birthday party?
Then you need a Rent-a-Cop clown”
And it had your face printed on the front
Now your wife don’t wanna be seen in public with you,
and your kids are catching it, getting mocked at school
“Company Hero”
is the name your co-workers have derisively given you
The only reason you still got your job,
is because of all the free publicity your company received
Even bad publicity sometimes is good
You’ve earned your cowardly stripes with dishonor
Alcoholic erasers can’t seem to wipe away
this awful blackboard stained memory
Nobody’s making Facebook friends with a hero wannabe
Nowadays, you don’t talk much to anyone
And every dream fantasy outcome
of that pride emasculating display,
ends with you firing away ... heroically saving the day
Shooting holes in the heart of your fears,
killing them one by one
Then lovingly, kissing the barrel
of your smoking hot gun
I’m feeling pretty pretty bad
A young child will be oh so sad
They left their precious teddy bear
On a comfy airport lounge chair
A lovely security guard
Tried oh so very hard
To reunite that teddy bear
That now is in his tender care
Guess it will be a fraught flight
And tonight a very sleepless night
The little one will be delighted
When bear and owner are finally reunited
Jan Allison
4th August 2014
Written In Beige
Against the bleak bank wall he leans
as the sidewalk moves sideways
across his tangential thoughts.
People pass, the dull parade,
the money-grubbers and hoarders
in their shiny suits that mock
his existence. Sad clouds meld
into a sullen gray sky…it must be raining
somewhere. Clink! Silver coin
rattles metal can. He wonders, when
did the colours disappear?
The pungent aroma from Mickey’s
Taco Wagon punishes his senses
and his eyes begin to leak. He’s hungry.
There was a time when his words
were golden, a rainbow of passion.
He had a family, people who loved him.
A November wind kicks him…no, wait!
Security guard motions as another
peers from behind motion-sensing
cameras. Not wanted. He disappears
next to the discoloured taupe wall.
The mystery: how did his life story
get written in beige?
*Note: this is written in honour of a homeless poet named Raimundo Arruda Sobrinho but, in essence, for every homeless person.
Once in a blue moon I have been told
The cliché’s clan gets together with the Catch Phrase posy
If I have told you once I have told you a thousand times this story or are you the last one to know?
Well, it all started for no rhyme or reason but you could see the writing on the wall.
Rat Race and horsing around would be in charge of the children’s activities for the day.
While crazy as a loon and Wacky Tobacky would take care of the entertainment.
Ice Queen would be the bartender for the night and Wall Flower would play the music.
Requests were already pouring in from the peanut gallery.
Young whipper Snapper like to hear a country song called one step forward and two steps back
And Jonny come lately wanted to hear a rock song called Chip off the old block.
Class clown always wanting to be the center of attention got drunk and started dancing
On the picnic tables.
Simon Says and Mother May I where there to tell everyone what to do and where to sit.
This would be a catered event so One sandwich short of a picnic was hired to feed this Motley crew.
On the menu was Fish out of Water served with two peas in a pod and for dessert The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree Al- a- mode.
Everybody was having a great time until the trouble makers showed up.
One for the road and Three sheets to the wind where known for starting drunken brawls.
The worst thing was they brought their 3 grown sons Hammered, sloshed and pickled.
If I only knew then what I know now left early. She had a feeling there would be trouble.
Penny for your thoughts would be collecting the raffle ticket money and No time like the present would be handing out the prizes.
Liar Liar Pants on fire and Cry me a river were sore losers and always made a scene if they lost.
It will be a cold day in hell didn’t want to go so he sent his wife Heaven to Betsy.
Too much of a good thing got sick and ended up taking the bus# Catch22 home.
Well, nothing lasts forever was the last song of the night and Turn out the lights the party’s over security guard company showed everyone the door.
The end.
Man those problems seem so petty compared to what I've been dealing with lately,
I wake up from an apocalyptic nightmare to find out I can reverse time,
No biggie, I can just reach out my hand and magic happens, time to go stop crime!
I mean on paper it sounds super cool like I've been created by Stan Lee,
But I could've done without nightmarish vision of the world crashing down around me,
What if I'm some secret government experiment on a top secret mission to infiltrate Arcadia Bay's educational infrastructure? Thanks Illuminati,
And come to think of it you know who'd love being next to a giant tornado? Jim Cantore,
But at least my days of missing the perfect shot are gone with my new time traveling abilities,
OOH! My superhero alias can be "Max Caulfield, artistic visionary",
Now if only I had a mask whenever I perform my superhero duty,
Like standing up to security guard bullies or...spilling paint on Victoria,
It's weird I actually know next to nothing about my power, can I fast-forward to infinity?
So far I've only used it to create my own phantasmagoria,
But I did save a life today,
My old best friend Chloe who after five years apart is still rescuing me when I'm being attacked,
Ironic that I'm the one with superpowers yet still needs to be saved,
Today's been so insane I swear if it's not mountains of homework it's a gun-wielding maniac,
Why can't my life just be normal again,
I want to go back to innocent thoughts of "ooo sunset you're looking pretty this evening, say cheese!",
And worrying about pop quizzes in science or working up the courage to talk to Mr. Jefferson,
Now I'm riding passenger in my blue-headed anarchist best friend's junky pickup truck trying not to go crazy,
Compared to your average teenage girl my life is strange.
'Twas the night before Christmas and I was still shopping
when I would much rather have been bar to bar hopping.
I juggled bags of presents that cost far too much dough.
The sidewalks were crowded and then it started to snow!
I scowled at a chubby fake Santa who kept ringing a bell.
'Twas another Christmas Eve straight from the annals of Hell.
I stopped for a coffee at Starbucks and got a leaky cup.
I've had just about enough of this mayhem. I'm fed up!
But I couldn't go home, not yet. I had more gifts to buy.
A guy bumped into me. My patience was in short supply,
so, I pushed him back and ducked inside a jewelry store.
He came after me with clenched fists, and ready for war!
A security guard leaped into action and threw him out
I stayed put for a while because I knew without a doubt
that man was waiting outside, and I wasn't ready to die.
I sang, "Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry..."
Since trapped for a while, I thought I'd get my wife a ring.
Emeralds or sapphires would do. She'd like a little bling.
The price was exorbitant, but I wasn't ready to leave.
How much worse could things get on this Christmas Eve?
A question I should've never asked, and I'll tell you why...
There's no Moana Dolls anywhere for my daughter. Sigh.
Santa was coming to town but beneath our tinseled tree
my kid would cry out, "Santa didn't leave Moana for me."
"Sorry," the saleslady said, "I'm afraid I sold the last one."
Tis the season to be jolly, but I'll be glad when it's done.
What's a dad to tell his kid about the flaw in Santa Claus?
I bought her a little puppy and named him Santa paws.
I walked down a slippery street with a dog on a leash.
What a sight I must've been; a grown man crying, 'SHEESH!'
But I was headed home and in need of a shot of whiskey
because Santa Paws was beginning to get a bit too frisky.
'Twas a wretched night before Christmas I'll never forget.
I waited too long to shop and paid the price with regret.
Santa's elves make his toys and reindeer pull his sleigh,
but next year I'll be doing my Christmas shopping on Ebay!
November 24, 2022 ~ The Night Before 3 Contest
Sponsored by Joseph May
I want to be with the man
who loved me for being whole,
a free spirit flung
from the top of a mountain like last winters white out blizzard.
The man sits drunk in his living room,
paralyzed in disbelief
that his mother last sat on that black leather couch,
before I came and his spirit told him that he knew my soul,
he was a casual friend
of that unbending security guard that held watch over my
taped together heart,
its secrets exposed
after his third bottle of homemade red wine,
that dribbled down his throat like a miniature river
of blood
coating a liver that sat like a putrid sponge inside him.
Praying
that he would depart too numb for pain.
And we slept
like shadows of the children we were long ago,
in the sweat of New Jersey's choking midsummer,
our souls sliding down that slope together,
on a red wooden sled,
innocence lost,
and our last lifetime clear as ice.
There was once a man named Carlton
From the city of Walton.
He was big and bulk,
His Hair colored like a skunk.
There was a lady he could not bear to see,
His emotions towards her, what could they be?
Every time she passed he would freeze,
Pretending to be reaching his knees.
This constant dilemma got to a point,
A security guard she had to appoint.
One day she stopped and greeted him hello,
Little did she know that he would start a show.
The shock in his face, so great was his awe
Before everybody knew he was shuddering like a macaw.
Not knowing what to do He choked on a fart,
Tremendous explosion that reached his heart.
No one will know what went through his head,
Our dear Carlton had never a word said.
I recall, bringing you home, quite small and cuddly
Bouncing around eyes flashing, ears floppy.
Your passion: chewing all and making mess around
Put your head down as you heard my foot sound.
But were my security guard in my old age
Barking at each of passer-by in rage.
When I had hard days at work, you waited for me
Wagging your tail to say, “Welcome, missed thee”
While I read the newspaper, you hopped on my lap
Asked nothing more than pat your head to tap.
Old age took its toll, unable to stand on your legs
Drove you last time to wet like scrambled egg
As the vet led you away, you turned and looked back
As if to say, “Thanks, for taking care, Jack”
I will always remember you the way you were-
One lovable, huggable pile of fur.
He waits, not playing, sits all alone in heaven
For he knows his master will come leavened
I wait out in the dark and cold for hand of death
He will hear the sound; will bark, at the wreath.
============================================
2-11-13
Dr. Ram Mehta
First Place win
Contest: Elegy Form by Constance
* Laloo is the Indian name of my huggable pile of fur.