Best Sausage Poems

**“Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.” – 
American Humorist/Author Mark Twain (real name Samuel Clemens) 



Prestigious lawmaking bodies are comprised of solons*
Some find it hard to refrain from comparing them to cons

Few legislators know the ramifications of bills
And...

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Bill's snowman was missing a snout
For carrots in shops had run out.
A sausage sufficed
But as it de-iced
Its purpose was cast into doubt!


30.01.21

Winter Snow Or Ice Limerick Contest Poetry Contest

Sponsored by Tania kitchin...

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Silly Sally scoffed six succulent spicy sausages
Six succulent spicy sausages silly Sally scoffed
Silly Sally succumbed to sickness! 

11~16~16...

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One cannot make an honest lawyer
Merely by an act of legislature
Work on his conscience
His lack of conscience
Is what makes him a lawyer.

And God said let there be Satan
So any blame not my concern
Satan said let be lawyers
So I have my own pleasures
To defend, lawyers are...

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Sausages, sausages, sausages, 
An ongoing string,
Attached by a swirl and twirl,
Now there’s a thing,
One runs into the another,
How many do you want,
For that depends, we have
Long ones and short ones,
And fat ones and thin,
Where do you want me to begin?
We have Portuguese and Greek,
British, South...

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ON  BEING  A  SAUSAGE  ROLL

Our other sausage acquaintances are real –
Flavoured, pigmented, heated
By boiling or frying :
They have their dignity, though they too be eated.

Our natural features, our inner glories,
Are pastry-coated and abide
In small bags from ye take-away,
All similar and eaten...

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We’re watching Saturday
Morning cookery
On TV; wide-eyed
Amateurs impressing
Mock-military judges
With parcels and fools
And baskets and coulis
And ganaches and jus.
My wife likes a recipe
And asks me to record
It for posterity and for dinner.
But I couldn’t care less
About eggs julienne
Because it’s coming up
To half past ten
And my head is...

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Trouble was caused by love of sausage,
Summer sausage by strict definition,
Which is any sausage loved by masses
That can be kept without refrigeration.
Until a day when a man arrives
Walking into a home, his destination,
The sausage was waiting, calling
His name, how could he avoid the temptation?
He lost...

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I used to be a sausage dog the floor was very close 
I used to sniff it quite a lot I’d sniff it with my nose 
and every time I did a poo they’d pick it how gross 
they’d carry in a bag but why...

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Sausage or suya* ?


Sausage or suya ?Give me the latter;
The craft of maisuya* is grand
He cleans guts like a housesitter,
Weaves all like caterer’s fondant
Liver, kidney all in a meaty bag
Smokes same like german grill
Variety often delights my heart,
Give me suya,I wish to laugh.

Sausage or suya?...

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sausages mash and peas

Slowly climb the leaning tree and learn about leaves
Count them
Count the corners
The points
The colours
And when you have completed this climb back down but quickly this time
For this is a process of professionalism and professionalism is neither a professor picking potatoes and nor...

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Spicy sausage (food for thought!)

Carrots, onions, …chopped!

Tomatoes, bells,   add to stock....

Peppered spice….(a lot!)

Oops!.... Almost forgot....!

Burned tongue!!!....It's....




HOT!!...

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Sausage Factory 
 On my travels on the countryside I saw this disused road
with weed sprouting through cracks in the asphalt 
Followed the road and came to a village that was empty 
of people, domestic animals, cats and dogs, with one
exception of an old couple...

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I have to admit I’ve got a confession
About my unhealthy obsession
Other kids love pop stars with all their heart
For me it’s the Bristol Stool chart

There’s seven different types of poo
With pictures that give me a clue
to how long the poo’s been in my bowel
Poos that’s...

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A Bo'sun in the pub was wheezing
From Wanda Mann's underhand teasing
An organist by trade
And accomplished milkmaid
Her fingers were quite busy squeezing

The Bo'sun recalled a sperm whale
That spouted away in a gale
Wanda knew how whales blow
And performed it just so
The Bo'sun would buy her more ale

The...

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