Best Sausage Poems

**“Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.” – 
American Humorist/Author Mark Twain (real name Samuel Clemens) 



Prestigious lawmaking bodies...

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For a man of the cloth, our dear vicar
is not very partial to clothes
He is almost allergic to trousers
and y-fronts get right up his nose.

Ev’ry...

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The routine ride home from a neighboring town, seemed different today.  
As I glanced at the dirty, sandy spot left on the usually spotless...

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[Written during a twelve hour power cut caused by
Storms this past winter]

The storm that arrived in the depth of the night
Got even worse with the...

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She is a lifeline in the blue-black of days
Curled on my lap, her sausage form rolls
All over the bed ... without guilt, without care;

Weenie girl...

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Some folks call me a sausage dog
I think they couldn’t be meaner
It’s not my fault I’m long and short
And look like a misshapen wiener

I’ve got...

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Tumble, crumble cornmeal, salted flour 
Stream olive oil
Feed water and toasty yeast with sugar
Crinkle, rumple, crease, and fold
Smooth a silky, doughy globe.

Cover, leave the orb...

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I had an IPod problem!
I fixed it, this is how!
I named the thing "Titanic",
by God, it's "syncing" now!

I was wondering where the sun goes?
I stayed...

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Dripping doorsteps or bubble and squeak
I ate so much I couldn't speak
Apple pie and clotted cream 
Used to make my taste buds scream.

Home made parkin...

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“And you call yourself a bloody cook”, this mongrel shearer said.
“I oughta ram this rubbish down yer’ throat, it’ll kill a bloke stone dead.”
He’s talking...

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Her faint voice quietly sings

a cheerful love song

mixed in with the tapping sounds

of the falling water

 from inside the clear glass shower

The morning light illuminates...

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Jaws bulging, saliva drooling
Johhnie stood at the street corner
Digging furiously into his soggy bag
Large fleshy chips swimming in vinegar
Delighting his watering mouth.
Rain drizzling on his...

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I want to be a vegan
I want to give up meat
I want hemp DM's to wear upon my feet
No more burgers, sausages and no more...

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Peel 'em and eat 'em,
All you want.
To yo table straight from da Gulf.

Cooked wit corn and taters
an' sausage dat's smoked.
Buy 'em today while we're stoked.

Paw...

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Pineapple pizza with pink pepperoni,
Buffalo wings and brown guacamole,
Little dead fishes in sour cream sauces,
Onions and garlic and greasy red sausage.

Cucumber sandwiches plastered with mustard,
Lemons...

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