Best Reptile Poems
I am turtle
and I roam.
From town to town,
carry my home,
upon my back
and that’s a fact.
A more patient creature
you’ll not see;
my best feature,
is to patient, be.
I take my time
and always arrive.
An world observer,
with great fervor;
I’ll always arrive
when disaster strikes;
with my house on my back
and emergency packs.
Your reptilian friend
until the end.
On land and sea,
I’ll always be.
For Turtle am I
and I always arrive.
On the twelve days of Christmas, West Texas gave to me
twelve tarantulas creepin’,
eleven javelinas diggin’,
ten jack rabbits jumpin’,
nine skunks a stinkin’,
eight mantis prayin’,
seven snakes swimmin’,
six mountain lions,
five sunny days,
four mockingbirds,
three hoary bats,
two horned toads,
and a cowbird in a mesquite tree.
On the twelve days of Christmas, West Texas gave to me
twelve oxeye creepin’,
eleven acanthus flamin’,
ten willows twistin’,
nine cholla jumpin’,
eight tumbleweeds rollin’,
seven shin diggers stickin’,
six purple thistles,
five sunny days,
four mountain laurels,
three ruby muhly,
two hawthorn,
and mistletoe in an elm tree.
Die reptiel vrou
Het my alweer geflous
Met my gedeel, haarself ontbloot,
en toe
Die bitter gif gespoeg
Dit vloei uit my bors uit, deur my are
Verander my bloed - haar bloed
Word swart, taai, en koud
Soos haar hart
***
The reptile woman
Has fooled me again
Shared with me, exposed herself
and then
Spat out the bitter venom
It flows out of my chest, through my veins
Changes my blood - her blood
Becomes black, sticky, and cold
Like her heart
The Legless Reptile
The ruin made of stones ended up a home, rock by rock rebuilt
on a hillside overlooking a valley of gentle dreams and orchids
so rare they only grow here. The man of the house had
a boa constrictor, in the basement, he preferred its company
it was quiet and curled up most of the time. He fed it rabbits,
chicken and occasionally - near Christmas- a life goat or two.
Often, when there nothing on the TV, he went down to visit
his friend in the basement and stroked its firm muscular body.
The man was not seen, people went to his house, perhaps he
was ill, they found a hungry snake, which was given to the zoo,
the man had disappeared, maybe he would return some day.
The house, left empty fell into decay and the roof blew off
a stormy day and water reduced the house to a ruin, which
proves a boa constrictor knows nothing about companionship.
My mind
Slow
Reptilian
Today
What I am
Light
Inch forward
Survival
Only now
No tomorrow
Nothing
To think
Awards night, my corporate boss thought this up,
with dinner, cash and chairman's gilded cup
So as awardee, they shacked me up in a Hongkong
five-star where I truly felt like some superstar
After a warm bath, I checked my naked self
in the mirror for any overlooked error
Puffed my chest up, flattended that beer belly,
flexed my biceps, convinced I was Bruce Lee
Truly I thought it should have been me, not that
bloke Pitt as Achilles in Troy, the movie
For there stood I, majestically, a proud demigod
of mythology, preening in self-love's apogee.
A thump on the door smashed my reverie, with
a towel round my waist, I peeped out to see
Finding no one, I stepped out to catch
the prankster, but not a soul was there
Then the door slammed behind me, locked me out
in the bright hallway without the card key
From nowhere, young lady guests, elegantly dressed
with tuxedoed escorts, strolled towards me
I panicked and I froze in shame though I was sure
they didn't and wouldn't even know my name
For there stood I, sheepishly, a semi-nude dude
from the sauna, blinking like a startled iguana !
Living in Mom's shadow
Deserve hate?
Critiquing parent
Fear, pain
Even aware?
What sin?
Jesus somewhere!
Voices suggesting paranoia
Who am I - please answer!
One day, Myopic Milo; went slithering across the street; and met with some misfortune; as a car, he tried to greet.
It really sent him flying; that half-blind, water snake; so to a chiropractor; a visit he would make.
Into Dr. Juneau’s office; his kinked-up body crawled; the receptionist took one look at him; she screamed and then passed out. “I guess I’ll have to help myself”; Myopic Milo thought and crawled to an exam room but, empty it was not.
In the empty room, he crawled up on a bed; when Dr. Juneau entered, what a shock; when Milo said, “Hi Doc!”
Now Dr. Juneau had a gift; fluent in animal-speak, he asked Milo why he came; looking over Milo’s kinked-up body; paused in deepest thought.
“I’ve never worked on a snake before”, he told the desperate snake; “all I can do is x-ray and try, with no guarantee that, you’ll leave her feeling better but, we can see”.
Milo in his agony, quickly replied, “oh please”. D. Juneau then x-rayed him and then he did proceed. “Now, this may hurt a little; your whole spine is a mess”; and he pressed, cracked, vertebrae into place quite easily.
One at a time he cracked and popped Milo’s entire spine; he knew he’d done it right when Milo let go of a big old sigh. “It’s on the house”, he said; “just be aware when crossing streets”.
Milo was so happy; his body felt brand new; all around the office he slithered; thanking everyone in sight; he even thanked the armatures while some patients took their flight.
As he slithered to the main door; the receptionist turned around; Milo cried out loudly; just to thank her for her time. When she looked down at the floor and saw him; she fell quickly to the ground.
Milo went along his way; he headed to his home hole; very carefully. He quickly learned to double check his movements before going by, feeling for any vibrations on every freeway and street.
Lizards are lazing here and there.
Kids enjoy the water sprayer.
Crows're hopping 'round
across burning ground.
Please soon end this summer affair!
Romping on the reptile,
Drives me wild.
Playing hide the lizard,
With you.
Cures me from the blues.
Ascending and descending
On your dark anaconda
Is a workout
Harder than video’s from
Jane Fonda.
Slicking your lizard
With my mouth or my cushy
Makes me know
That you’re no wussy
You’re a strong, sexy man
With my wanting tail in your hands
Guiding my tail up and down
Or stroking in and out
Hiding that lizard
Making my body shake, gyrate,
And swivel
Riding and romping the reptile
Certainly drives me wild.
Sluggish swamp water seeps through cypress knee
Looking for the reclusive crocodiles now infesting,
Our air boat skims along the edge of Okeefenochee
Where we spy a prehistoric-like alligator ingesting
What appears to be an unwary otter or fox squirrel
Our guide points out a log laden with sunning turtles
With the reptiles in the swamp, we have no quarrel,
As accelerating our speed, the air boat soon hurtles
Until we reach a fairly secluded lush-covered glade
Hoping to see a cottonmouth searching for prey,
After considerable time in the sun, loving the shade
Unfortunately, for the snake the wrong time of day.
Our lunch is ham sandwiches and a frosty cold beer
As our guide points out a meadow-like field ahead,
Where we’ll likely see a smaller herd of mule deer
And, there the ravishing crocodiles waiting to be fed.
Written June 22, 2022
Today John McDain
Is in bad pain
The sirens could kill
But he escaped it, he will
He's at the doctor,
Who'll give him meds
And maybe just some
Comfortable beds
"There's something in his head."
The old, frail doctor said.
"I can't find out what it is."
But what about the scarlet liz?
He looked and poked and pressed
Until he found a dent in his chest
The snake had taken it out
Easily, without a doubt
Tightly wrapped under his skull
Pressed against the hard bone
He didn't know what it was
It pressed his brain down to a nub
John McDain began to get ill
The medical doctor gave him a pill
The pill did nothing
His brain kept scrunching
Until one morning he lay on the floor
Hands in his hair, curled like a snare
He scrunched his eyes
Let out a cry
And laid there still.
With a pop and a crack, blood leaked on the floor
Poor John's brain was no more
The red puddle covered the floor
His skull broke open, he'd lost the war
Out popped half an eggshell
Leathery, hard to tell
But then a snake slid out his head
And across the red blood he had bled
Blood red with hollow green eyes
That could easily pierce the night skies
The snake seemed never-ending
For it was depending
On John's scarlet blood
To give it the rud
The snake, seven feet long
Explored the humble bed of John
And then slithered off to find some prey
Remember John's Snake On The Brain.
The red snake found a victim
Fast asleep, she ignored him
He flicked his tongue and ate her whole
Poor little Miss Patty Moore
The snake grew a yard every day
Feasting on people as its main source of prey
It at the doctor, the teenagers, too
Until ecnaV stood with his mighty crew
They battled the snake for 30 days
Through water and sun and foggy haze
When finally the snake was beat
ecnaV got a wonderful treat
His crew went home proudly
The people in the streets cheered loudly
They took a piece of the snake's scales
In their heads echoed the mighty wails
-Originally Written in August 2020, Revised in September 2020
Dragon is under “D,”
Next to “E,”
There on the page he’ll stay—
“Myth,” you say.
Obsolete lizard? No!
Dragons grow
Dinosaur-large, in you:
Dream them, true.
A paleontologist, I specialized on the fauna
that flourished in the Jurassic era.
So, when I got an invitation to speak
in an international seminar last summer,
on the habitat and extinction of dinosaurs,
I set out to do my homework seriously
on the topic, lest I fail to meet the time-line.
The day before the scheduled date of my talk
I completed the presentation work at home,
and went to sleep happy after the hard work.
Soon I drifted dreaming 165 million years back,
suddenly saw a unique winged finger-shaped bird
in the pristine sky, flying with a flaming trail,
perhaps in fury, for I ignored it in my work.
From its distinctive features
I could figure out what that creature was.
It was a pterodactyl, the flying reptile of the Jurassic,
that entered my room through the open window,
and then angrily ate my homework.
February 9, 2021
Contest : ...And Then A Flaming Pterodactyl Ate My Homework
Sponsor : John Lawless