Best Quirky Poems
*Like Caesar I wrote this in the 3rd person:)
In third person he talks just like Caesar
Stuffing bagfuls of sweets in the freezer
Mumbles loud in his sleep
An appointment can’t keep
Often plucks at his brows with a tweezer.
With false tan he conceals his complexion
In shop windows inspects his reflection
Cracks his fingers and neck
And exclaims ‘What the heck!’
When he drinks has no sense of direction.
He’s allergic to pollen and sneezes
Throwing up at the smell of blue cheeses
Hair extensions he wears
When it’s windy he swears
Swallows tablets in fear of diseases.
He invents and tells lies for no reason
Any week any month any season
Does it all with a smirk
(Yes, that’s also a quirk!)
In a cell he could end for high treason!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
For the Contest “Quirks”
Hosted by Madison Demetros
© 9th February 2018
I was an odd little girl. At a very early age writing, and seeking out nature. I
loved to wander libraries and art galleries, while other little girls played with
dolls together. A loner, lost within my thoughts. I grew up to be a bit eccentric
and offbeat. My style of dressing is whimsical and unique to me. I love
seeking out vintage. The key is to not wear too much at one time! My pose
and mannerisms are quiet and gentle, people have commented on how calm
I seem. I found my Zen a long time ago. I do yoga and meditate each day.
Something about me is my need to know what is going on in the world.
I watch the local news, the Canadian news (yes, I am from Canada), varied US
news, and the World news each morning. Only then can my day begin! It is an
oddity I think as so many do not listen or read about the news. I like to read
books but not on a Kindle or on the computer I want, must actually hold a
book, I love the feel of the pages in my hands. I collect old books, well old and
fragile anything. A beautiful vase or plate with a chip perhaps found in second
hand shops. I do not need an expensive antique to satisfy my need for "old".
Well, that's the oddity of me, a whimsical, unique and a bit offbeat girl.
the forest quiet
the sound of soft snow falling-
I stop listening
_____________________
February 7, 2018
Poetry/Haibun/This Quirky Girl
Copyright Protected, ID 18-991-422-01
All Rights Reserved. Written Under Pseudonym.
Written for the contest, Quirks
sponsor, Madison Demetros
Second Place
I’m quirky; that’s just how I love to be.
I don’t think many people are like me.
The things I like most, I turn them into
obsessions which, without fail, I must do!
New movies weekly I have got to see.
I’m quirky; that’s just how I love to be.
Movies at theaters on a big screen!
This habit I’ve had since I was a teen.
I have collections, and how each one grows!
Old records, books, knick-knacks, jewelry and clothes,
and some of them span half a century.
I’m quirky; that’s just how I love to be.
Routines I’ve formed for my health and for fun.
Each week I can barely get them all done.
From skin care - to diet - to poetry,
I’m quirky; that’s just how I love to be!
Feb. 14, 2018 for Madison Demetros' Quirky Contest
Waking up early it was the usual work day
pushed my alarm clock to off early so it wouldn't play
just out of the shower I heard the repetitive beeping sound
of the alarm clock taunting me as I made my routine rounds
Tossing my body across the wide expansion of my bed
I pushed the alarm clocks button hard until the annoying sound was dead
then I plugged my cell phone in the familiar wall outlet way
later fully charged I left for work for the day
Entering the warehouse hallway I stood at the face clock
adjusting my looks 10 times because it recognized me not
another coworker came in and I let them go ahead
wondering why on their first try their facial recognition was read
Standing there feeling like a fool staring into the facial clock
it kept denying me so many times I wanted to give it a pop
when suddenly on the 21st try it finally recognized me
wondering why there was a problem as I had no plastic surgery
Two hours later I went to the break room
got my cell phone out of my locker not a moment too soon
noticed right away it hardly had any charge left
quickly making a call before it went completely dead
Trying the new restroom out was quite an experience
the self flushing toilet flushing constantly didn't make any sense
I thought this toilet was supposed to be economical
instead as I watched it continually flush thought it pretty comical
Driving home I thought well at least my car is competent
as I enjoyed the air conditioning blowing out of the vents
pulling up into my driveway I just about hit my quirky cat
who thinks hes a dog by the way if you can imagine that.
6-30-18
They said I was an “old fart”
But I hardly think that’s true
My boobs were done in ‘75
But my teeth and knees are new.
And since my eyes were lasered
I have 20/20 sight
Though I like to sit on 50 k
And hate to drive at night.
All in all I object to “old”
But “fart” is another matter
For I think the valves that seal the gas
Now leak as I’ve got fatter.
To add to the indignity
And make me feel antique
Sometimes when I sneeze or cough
I spring a little leak.
So if you’re feeling young and smug
With a body like brand new
Just remember in 30 years
This figure may be you!
*This poem was written for Nikko's contest. The letters "H E A D S" weren't allowed. I won 1st place in the contest :)
Pimp, Cowboy, Gigolo willfully confirm Cook off
Vow to cook juicy concoction!
Pimp forgot cumin, Gigolo forgot flour, Cowboy forgot corn
Gigolo plotting to corruptly copy Cowboy concoction
Cowboy growling “You forging fool !!!”
Unruly Commotion!!!
Cowboy flipping Gigolo; Gigolo tromping cowboy, Pimp crying “knockout”!
Conflict fizzling…Cook Off Critic got nitpicky….Implying civility
Critic nibbling Gigolo gyro concoction…critic crying
Critic nibbling Cowboy wonton concoction…critic vomiting
Critic nibbling Pimp minty concoction…critic grinning
Pimp winking, flirting
Critic wiggling, winking, flirting
Critic confirm Pimp Cook off Victor!
Cowboy mournful
Pimp ogling!!! Glitz...Glory
Gigolo crying, “You floozy!”
Unruly Commotion!!!
Cop cuffing Gigolo to go to court
Tick tock…tick tock….Tick tock
Jury confirm Gigolo guilty!
Pimp, Cowboy, Critic go clubbing
Computers, quirky
Computers on a network
Are quirkiness squared
Aahhhh, The Quirky/Idiosyncrasies of MoonBee
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Icky …
Icky Who ?
… Never Mind, I’ll Come Back Later …
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Juan …
Juan Who ?
I Don’t Know, What Do You Have In Mind ?
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Hula …
Hula Who ?
Yes, When I Was Young …
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Toodle …
Toodle Who ?
… Ok
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Bye-Bye …
Bye-Bye Who ?
Look Lucy, We Found Ricky !
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Nu …
Nu Who ?
Well, If You Know Who, Why You Ask ?
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Woo …
Woo Who ?
… Ok, Who’s In Trouble ?
(The Obvious-Obvious, One)
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Who …
Who Who ?
Late Night, Huh ?
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Yu …
Not Me !
Yeah … Yu !
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Yu ! …
You Who ?!
… Hi …
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Yu !
Naaaaa, Naaaaa Interested !
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Boo …
Boo Who ?
Wait, I’m Not A Bill Collector !
Knock, Knock …
Who… who oo ‘s There ?
Sue …
Su suu sue, Who ?
(but then Door Opens, With A Crash
Double-Barrel, Points Out, Blasts
The Knocker Runs Fast, as Voice Shouts Out Rash
“ … Sue That ! and Don’t Come Back Talking ‘bout Whiplash”
And The Man Sits Back Down, To Finish His Glass
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Oh, Darn, I’m Out Of Egg-Nog and Jack D
Now, How Can I Make My Moonlight-Tea
Well, It’s Back To The Market, For MoonBee
He He He ! …
Have A Great Day, Y’all …
MoonBee
Work done we meet
at home for treat
we dine and eat
get off our seats
His hand on mine
one on my spine
we dance and glide
spin round the side
Heart beats so fast
dance steps too rash
we trip and fall
down the long hall
Right to the bed
the rose is red
come close the door
take me I'm yours
Turn out the light
its way too bright
dress stuck on head
help or I'm dead
His shirt is gone
thinks he's Don Juan
ate too much nuts
sucks in his gut
We play a tune
that fills the room
sighs, moans and groans
rings from cell phone
At last were spent
bed skewed and bent
our love a mess
we rest in nest
1-30-18
She’s a keen lady, well she’s my poodle
One who ‘d roll only in the guestroom,
With quirky manners of caboodle
And whistles proudly , so out of tune:
Once we dashed to her classy stylist
For a new trim fashioned as a mop!
I was quite shocked ; a clownish t w i s t
Yet for dear doggie… that was hip-hop.
Then I saw the bill, how expensive
Made clean locks JUMP in wiry curls--
Feeling a little hypertensive
She clung to me in fondled twirls.
While walking Bubs 'round the parkland
My legs and thin purse hurt badly…
Aghast, she romped as if on demand
With unkempt canines, prancing MADLY!
Broken Wings' Any July 2018 Poem Contest
--------------
Quirky Things That Confound and Confuse Me
Caren Krutsinger 7/14/2018
Entered 8/9/2018
I'm colorful and nutty
But I'll be your best buddy
If you stick with me
I'll set you free
And you'll be mine to study
*for Zodiac Race contest
Last cuddling, she tired to besiege the intense in vain,
Caged parrot still repeating his hobby-horse of eternal matrimony,
Sealed paper, journey of no timing, oh! King you bereaved and unleashed acrimony,
Prickled his sword, stared beyond her eye balls, full of anxious veins exhibiting pain.
Boundary end, where wind sweep sand, she bade farewell,
Simmered, he turned and smiled, I will be back,
Fate unravelled itself, the gods must be on the wrong tack,
Wait I must, as far aging left reasonable days as well.
Years past, the wind whizzed west without echoes of victory or loss,
Lonely, the porch knows, as a wilful face came buzzing around,
Tempting, she must flee, but pale skin no friend of her, his return she toss,
Went away raptured, few days, the church bell jingled a merry sound.
Captured in war and released, surfaced he on the wedding day,
Patience must not be obsess with time, on her finger another ring lay.
An old chow chow in Albuquerque
is often called odd, weird, and quirky
He drinks only prune juice
His best friend is a goose
and on Thanksgiving he weeps for the turkey
He’s just so different,
more so than me and you
Got a most unconventional walk,
and an odd meter pause when he talk
As if some fluttering revelation
feather dropped into his mind
in the middle of a quixotic thought
Notice closely how he ties his shoes,
observe carefully
how he stipulates his personal hygiene rules
He’s a carbon-based, oxygen fuel anomaly
Every breath he takes,
every move he makes
is predicated by a rate of change society wind speed
In the cerebral game of thrones,
his intellectual property is cosmic tertiary owned
It’s futile to fight against the force
of this quirky keen ...
he’s thinking ten steps ahead of you
every time it seems
Pasqual knows so many government dark secrets,
yet he doesn’t have a public story to tell
He lives in his own isolated Arctic world —
a self-created, mental insulated igloo shell
Quirky keen is his spiritual innervisions,
quirky keen is his empirical decisions
Hyper-awareness is a string of pearls
within his treasure chest of consciousness
Quirky keen is a special teen
with neural abilities heretofore unseen
Pasqual’s keenly aware of the gifts in his possession;
his quirky attitude
is often displayed with a gentle, aloof detachment
As a child he decided that fame was not his
preferred destiny,
choosing instead to live in complete
obscure anonymity
Some would assess this to be
a pauper edict issued by a quirky keen
when into scaly claws, sans first
to sixth grade Precambrian relic
(Missus Batson, Missus Rittenhouse,
Missus Wells, Mister Stout, Missus Shaner,
or Miss Rinderle).
Invariably the majority
of elementary grades didst accord
accredited ancient authenticated creatures bored
(with exception of sixth)
freely exercised diabolical chord
churlish beastial animalistic
zealous yakking, wickedly,
aye (a basket case) deplored
unprintable (epithets) this then
(unprincipled urchin) puny pupil felt lord
did over whacked, sans receiving end,
viz fiendishly gruesome
hellish instructions mean teacher scored.
Assignments buttressed with ultimatums
harkening back to Jurassic period earlier
in the dawning primate consciousness.
Lesson material kindled justifiable license
in league garnered insignia heft brought pupils
to heal predicated, via warpped weft woven
wonderfully wrought writs welcomed whips
with warranty whenever recalcitrant ruffian
refused respecting reptilian rubric representative
saber rattling, where...
(The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver
of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will
Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do),
which loosely rendered regularly warbled
wishy washy verse curmudgeons freedom
granted to interpret as one decrepit, hawkish
insignia certified one beaming Eve and/or
stud deed brute soffit.
Education often relied on the weekly reader,
and letters to or from Aunt Emma to this Jack,
oh napeswho never wrote back
sheesh, alas and alack.
Nefarious mean linkedin kickstarter jawboning
torturous treatment tolerated, asper imps
of pervert, mutant Ninja Turtles duty bound
antsy youthful yokel yodelers weathering ululating
sing-song quintessential precepts.
adieu:
math a hew
scott harris a gentile Jew
all ways felt like new
kid on the block isolated
in his hermetically sealed queue
pay perm ash shay watched per view
whew
at last in conk clew shun to you
from one primate within the human zoo.