Growing Old

They said I was an “old fart” But I hardly think that’s true My boobs were done in ‘75 But my teeth and knees are new. And since my eyes were lasered I have 20/20 sight Though I like to sit on 50 k And hate to drive at night. All in all I object to “old” But “fart” is another matter For I think the valves that seal the gas Now leak as I’ve got fatter. To add to the indignity And make me feel antique Sometimes when I sneeze or cough I spring a little leak. So if you’re feeling young and smug With a body like brand new Just remember in 30 years This figure may be you!