Best Quacks Poems
*I've been called a 'shrew,' told I am self centered, petty, and a few other rather insulting and invective names, so here is my rebuke.
Who plays the straight man for the one known as 'Schmoe?'
It's the Jester who juggles where ever Schmoe tells him to go.
Then there's Mr. DoGoody who seeks the spotlight of fame,
reproaching PS poets by pointing his finger at them in shame.
Three fatuous figures who lie in wait for Poetry Soup blogs
Croaking like three pompous bullfrogs in criticizing dialogues
Verbal abusers, slanderer of a nation, and he who prances
hoping to give Schmoe, his bro, the stage... the lackey dances.
It's a tragic case of fools rushing in where wiser men never go
A disease suffered by the egos of DoGoody, Jester, and Schmoe
A threesome pretending they're Red Barons in control of awacs
but they're just three old wacky muggins, Poetry Soup Quacks.
Ask a question and see what nonsense they will spew at you
Swearing their intent is righteous, and their cause is true blue,
but the more they protest, the deeper the holes they are digging.
A misguided clique always zagging when they should be zigging.
So if you bother to read what they write, just consider this...
the underlying meaning to their dribble shows what's amiss.
It's a game they play...one where they often make mistakes
Nuts have to be added to the batter while making a fruitcake
Now if you're thinking I'm just as guilty for some name calling,
I'm ready to be under attack with their whining and squalling.
I've already been accused by DoGoody of talking behind his back...
So here I am, you're all unblocked if you want to talk more smack.
I think feel a breeze
A breeze and a touch of horror
Something makes my breath seize
The stings of inner torture
The beast of the dark just passes
I hear the pings of its awfulness
Horrible snuffs complementing terrible masses
Something grip me here – oh fearfulness!
Now what – silence…
The quietness of the graveyard
I sense trouble in disguise
Only that worse turns bad
Oh wait, I can see
Slow approaches of eye balls
The burning eyes of the black beast
Monster, you, coming for me or my pulse
This is it my adventure fiasco
In the ever-dark ghost room
I would rather die like a hero
Behind this locked door with my rheum
As I’ll lay my back on this door
Oh beast feast, on me feast
I can hear quacks as I fall
…the door open at least
Massacre! Oh massacre of the beast
Sun ray-the enemy of the dark monster
Came in for its burnt feast
Because the door opened
Religious woes has it’s foes
and often faiths are glitter
Promise success and happiness
depending on who delivers
Some paint prejudice with broad strokes
exclusion is the main ideal
Skin color, race, sexuality mostly
not what you think is clear
The job with god seems really odd
when asked to slither throats
Or to gather all the enemies
and deliver their heads on post
They think it best when you dress
in cloths they deliver
How many wives is compromised
by men their god considered
Their foods are different, women different,
no touching there’s to be
Observe the days and sometimes weeks
just for sake of memory
Remember the names dressed in fame
For future reference to their figures
Listen to the leader and remember
that his word is the law delivered
Do not read any literature
or any other translations
Never question authority
if doubts disturbs your quiver
What’s in the home stays at home
and silence secret listeners
And if you find the different kinds
that doubt our salvation delivers
Turn your backs for they’re the quacks
Your told to never consider
(To whom shall remain a clut and nothing else)
Two quacks walking side by side
one looking one way, the other the other
disturbingly similar, they could be one
and never the twain shall meet...
AP: Honorable Mention 2026
Sometimes it shrieks, hoots or creaks,
whistles, cries, trills or squeaks,
rattles, russles gurgles or moans,
babbles, crackles, grunts or groans.
Sometimes it chatters, chirps or howls,
baas, ribbits, hisses, roars or growls,
cackles, coos, squawks or crows,
chitters, bleats, clucks or bellows.
Sometimes it, barks, buzzes or caws,
clicks, gobbles, gurbles or heehaws,
moos, humms, oinks, meows or neighs,
peeps, purrs, quacks, snuffles or brays
the silence of nature is a never-ending song,
forget your troubles and come sings along.
A fact is a fact in it’s own fact
while dwelling in it’s own fact
though not necessarily a fact
in the face of the greater fact
but indeed a fact
while in the body of it’s own fact!
A babe is a fact
as a babe in fact
but not an adult
in it’s fact.
Physical and
spiritual growth
are changes in lower facts…
as all change are made
at the level of the lower fact.
Love’s precept in fact
changes lower facts
lower facts, in fact
do not change Love’s fact!
Love in fact…
makes changes in the fact…
of His own body in fact…
taking it’s fact back…
into the greater fact’s sack…
rearranges, makes changes…
in His body’s lower fact.
When is a fact
not a fact?
A concept fact
is not a fact
while in the sack
of precept’s fact
and when apart from,
it’s essence of fact
All concept's facts
are only extensions
of a greater fact
but in fact are facts
while in the body of fact.
Be aware…in the world
some quacks pose as facts
apart from any-body of fact.
as a matter of fact,
they are not within the grace of fact.
While apart from their body in fact,,
the fact is a quack,
needs to be taken back,
into the sack of fact,
the precept equiped,
to redo the flip,
do not let Love slip.
Love's fact
at all levels are precept backed,
the same cannot be said of concept facts,
for sometimes apart from Love's body, they slack!!
"Essences of love are precept backed"
* Weird Science *
With pens he walks
Pocket Protectors to protect his chest
Taped up glasses on his face
Pull his pants down, call him a GEEK a NERD
Science -relativity theory and it's light speed from space
Experiment this- discover that, is how scientist rant
Brainy cats have so many open portals in their minds
You talk down to us as if we carry the brains of a bird
Do you really think we are all blind,
for not caring over the objectives principles of the Heisenberg?
You passed each and ever single science fairs in class
Feeding your ego collecting dots
After school you earned the right when a bully kicked your a$$!
A DORK calling your self the Math Magician King
Burning and crashing our minds explaining the physics of dying fast
Using your Quantum Leap that our universe comes with a destiny string
No desire to be wired who needs your further scientific understanding
Life comes with a pattern in which we once lived electricity free
Ironically your scientific process of defining itself continues to expand
Supported by the measurements and masses only you NERDS understand
The power points of our so called energy,
is pointless to me like our so called gravity.
The tale you spin is not of love but a twisted one of insanity
God is the only scientific knowledge I want to perceive!
All you so called scientist, riding the lightning like Benjamin F.
Take the bolt and tie it like a noose around your neck
Following your own perception while you feed off the sheep
Here you come to emerge to discipline us with your mind of a genius
You come and you bash us with NERD brain waves to explain!
That this world revolves around the elements and laws of scientific claims
Research this- research that- who gives a cr@p we still die at the end
While life continues, to grow and manipulate our fate, about the universe
Unsolved facts about Einstein, who left his velocity of change for us to comprehend.
Instead of trying to rule the world, explain the facts why things keep getting worse?
Over exaggerating the excitement of an Ancient Mayan 2012 discovery curse.
Bottom line you scientific quacks,
the real Celestial body is found on the bottom of my crack.
By; P.D. ( LOL, I love Science )
In the fields crops are growing
On the roof a rooster is crowing
In the yard hens are clucking
In the paddock the stallion is bucking
Near the back door baby chicks are cheeping
In the pond frogs are leaping
From the pasture donkeys bray
And the lively horses neigh
The barn cats are slowly creeping
While the farmer’s wife does housekeeping
In the barn cows are mooing
And in the rafters doves are cooing
The frisky collie barked
As the tractor is parked
In the pen the pigs grunt
Except for the cute little runt
By the pond the duck quacks
While the coon hound tracks
One for the kids at heart...
Howard the mallard
A handsome young duck
Flew into a tree
Got his quacker stuck
Try as he might
He couldn't break free
His quacks for help
Were muffled you see
He flapped his wings
And thrashed his feet
A blackbird came by
With a worm in his beak
“Sure like to help”
He mumbled quite low
“But having my dinner
I'm sure it must show!”
Next came a rabbit
Wandering by
Something up high
In the tree caught his eye
“What's going on?”
He queried the duck
Who struggled to answer
Of course with no luck
“I'd help you, dear mallard
but rabbits don't climb!”
Then a stork appeared
“I'll help you!” he chimed
His legs were long
He reached up to Howard
Gave him a whack
He wasn't a coward
Howard came free
And noticed the stork
Had been carrying something
A wee thing of sorts
Suddenly he realized
What storky was carrying
A pleasant surprise
A baby duck in a sling
It was Howard's new baby
A duckling named Herbert
After seeing this treasure
Forgot about his hurt!
© Jack Ellison 2013
-
My braces are pinching me and I remove them but really I only want to get closer
The harder grasses prickling our arms but why does she complain so little
The sun beats down and the clagg is to swished away from exposed flesh
Her focus is love or lust or me for now at least
The wood wasp announces its arrival and stands still in the air and looks
Too early for distraction he thinks and gone in a split second.
The summer sun beats down and hums as far as the eye can see
She arches her back a little and peels her long auburn hair behind her ear and smiles
Anticipation pent up amoungst the tall waving ears of meadow grass and poppy
She asks is this grass tall enough beside the river bank
The river chuckles and laps and quacks with ever notes of time going by
Again can anyone see us she says. Don't worry there's no one for miles.
She stiffens and recoils in a fractional notice and my torrent ebbs some what
I sit up on the tartan rug. Look there is no one my love and I stoke her ankle
I turned my head to the river bank opposite to an anxious man sitting up too
The tall waving grass as if supporting the lone head of this man this courting spoiler
My torrent disappears down. A drive becomes my angered disappointment contained
My beauty in lace white and of steady eagerness then abates with my news
I told you. I told you. And her heart shows me no sad disappointment no loss
Gathering our selves and bits of grass dart away past cocks of meadowed hay
Against a moonlit sky
alone upon the deck
Afflack waddles among the boats
searching for some food to peck.
He’s a fine specimen of a duck
exclusive to our marina
he lost his partner years ago
and pines for her for no good reason.
His lonesome quacks, his grunts and sighs
betray the sadness in his eyes.
I know he truly can remember
his own duck love, his mate forever.
So I make sure to come prepared
to give him food, he is not scared
we’ve formed a friendship, he and I
he's welcomed here, he will not fly...away.
The poor child groaned
while his mother moaned
''Ah, he's possessed,
oh, he's been
bewitched'',
Superstition bemoaned.
To the witchdoctor she
sped
and was back with
murky potions
such yucky stinky lotions
those mythical
concoctions
The woman obeyed the
wily witchdoctor
Placed belief in that
traditional healer
and the poor child still
groaned
but his mama no longer
moaned
After two days of
treatment
and no lessening of
predicament
she thought he needed
something more potent
When all it turned out to
be
was a toothache dent!
But she would hear of
no dentist
Like all quacks her
witchdoctor
had fooled her five
senses
For his spells and his
chants
held her too in a trance
Quite a weird weirdo is
he
Beware the medicine-
man!
Beware that vodoo
magic and witchcraft
That survive on the
gullible and daft.
I've written about chickens with big fat legs
Told of eating my way through the fridge
My psychiatrist says I'm really quite normal
Though I feel unbalanced, a smidge
I've heard of a place, can't remember where
They can treat an affliction like mine
Problem is though, it means a lobotomy
Sends a quake up and down my spine
Don't wanna be mumbling naughty verses
As I wander the streets in my socks
Or talking about inappropriate subjects
Like armpits, halitosis or snots
One reviewer said I was absolute bonkers
But still sings along with my songs
Seems like she might have the same affliction
Methinks both of our mind's long gone
The bottom line to all this nonsense
Not much can be done so I'm stuck
Wearing this crown of a silly old jester
And quacking all day like a duck
© Jack Ellison 2013
CHANGE YOUR NAME, CHANGE YOUR LUCK
There once was a chicken who had no luck
No matter how she tried she couldn't cluck
Brunhilde, her name
To Donald, she changed
Now she's a chicken who quacks like a duck
IN HIS SOUP WAS A FLY
There was a poor man, in his soup was a fly
He just couldn't get that fly to go bye
Turned his bowl upside down
The fly spilled to the ground
Now the soup is too cold, the poor man cried
HE DID NOTHING BUT YAMMER
Pam had a husband named Peter Hammer
All day long he did nothing but yammer
Into his corn pone
She put little stones
He talks less, but when he does, he stammers
I went and bought me some rabbits,
And built a rabbit coop.
Like that Cadbury Bunny has,
‘Cept I got me a group!
And they all’s gonna lay some eggs,
With nice milk chocolate shells!
But they won’t be no coco brown,
‘Cause I prefer pastels!
So I’m gonna feed them Fruit Loops,
And that should do the trick!
They’ll be poppin' out rainbow eggs,
I’m thinkin', pretty quick!
Then I’ll get rich like Cadbury,
And buy me a new truck!
Maybe breed all of them rabbits
With cousin Millie’s duck!
People’d sit up and take notice
Of a bunny that quacks!
They’d storm the Piggly Wiggly for
My multi-colored snacks!
We’ll have us a rainbow Easter,
With chocolate eggs and beer!
Drunk rednecks on a sugar rush,
Can really spread some cheer!
Buy some rainbow chocolate duck eggs,
Then turn on your TV!
There’s a new realty show,
Called Rab-uck Dynasty!
I should have thought of it sooner!
My problems are all solved!
Ain't nothing a redneck can’t do,
When there’s a duck involved!