Best Pink Slip Poems
I spent a night in Somnia
which put me to the test
The lodgings were luxurious
but I could find no rest
They said it was a quiet town
I fell for all their ploys
And all the stupid sheep I tried to count
made too much noise
Minutes ticking into hours
All my dreams were lost
And like a stir-fry vegetable
is how I turned and tossed
That cheap motel in Somnia
was just a tourist trap
No matter how I tried
I couldn't even take a nap
So I had a cup of coffee
waiting for the sun to rise
The night was finally over
as I rubbed my bloodshot eyes
Now here I am in Sanity
the company where I work
I'm staring at computer screens
and feeling like a jerk
Too many nights in Somnia
have made me hit a wall
Oh great! Here comes my manager
The pink slip says it all!
Scraps in rusted trash
Scent the air with misery
Clutching his pink slip
05/09/13
10:21 pm
Annoying knot right in the pit
Of my stomach, please stop it!
You twist and churn with fear and dread
Echo voices in my head
Have you any clue who I am
What I'm up to as a man?
What's your job, why were you hired?
I think you suck, that's it, you're fired
Here's your pink slip, now be gone
You been here now for far too long
Sorry there's no space for you
I've simply too much left to do
I wish you well, it's been a blast
Redecorate your room at last
Dust the Cobb webs, walls are painted
Furniture's been re situated
Loving life, this brand new space
Without you up in my face
Happy feeling at peace with me
At home, in love, completely free
(This is a fictional poem)
The car I bought wasn't as fast as the previous owner said.
I'm going to kick his ___ and give him some serious wounds to his head.
I raced the car last night and I bet the pink slip.
The other guy blew me off the road, what a jip.
When he demanded my keys, he and I had some words.
I told him to go to hell and then I gave him the bird.
He has big muscles as well as a car that's fast.
When I gave him the finger, he kicked my ___.
I put bruises on his hands when he put bruises on my face.
That's the last time that I'll drag race.
Form:
I said, “No.” and I meant it.
There was a memo. You know I sent it.
No...it's not something you can deny
And I have no interest in hearing why.
Your read receipt’s right here.
And the memo’s meaning was quite clear.
Despite that memo, you failed to comply.
So, for you, I’ll further clarify.
I have faith that you will surely understand,
When I put this ‘pink slip’ in your hand.
new employee
flings red socks in a white load
pink slip
1-25-2012
Sponsor John lawless
Contest Name SIMPLY SENRYU
They assigned me to write a sonnet about the life of a drunken writer
whose dream wouldn't shatter, but his foolishness wasn't in the past tense;
he spent endless hours reading blogs of people who didn't make sense...
in chat rooms, he found geeks, charlatans, and a casual liar.
These are the ones who can text all day as kids do for fun...
what's the excuse for being late and perform with a brainless head?
Here's proof of his laziness: he didn't write anything to earn his bread.
" Wake up, your work is piling up...you snore like pigs in a barn! "
The co-worker in the next booth sneered as the boss approached Fred
who stuttered and tried to explain why he couldn't get the work done...
while his breath stunk and couldn't stand him looking awfully mad.
" I need that article by tomorrow, or you'll get a pink slip and are gone! "
" Sir, the last article was a hit...you liked that sex-pot with those boobs! "
" Why can't I write about today's generation who have the speed of raccoons? "
Everyone says there must be something better
They look over their shoulder and wipe the dust of their sweater
Not the dust of manual labor
From sitting on a shelf, contact paper
No better way to make change that sit in a chair
Flip through channels
Watch the news
Anger builds up and all that stands is your hair
Got your pink slip today
Straight out of the blue?
It's right in the middle of the blue
Since it's wasn't you,
Didn't expect it's show up on your bay
Push it off,
Yeah, keep pushing it off
Blame others
Yeah, that's a thought
Politics
President of the United States
Major Corporations
Who else has made you a slave?
Yet your still in your chair,
Flipping through channels
Watching the news
Hair is still standing
Solution?
You don't know?
Sit in your chair
Try to turn the wheel?
Bank robbed?
Wish you could steal?
That's a great idea!
Get out of your chair
Long enough to adjust your belt
Too much junk?
Revenge, not sure how it's dealt?
Go outside and run a lap
Important to keep your mind on track
Next time you shop
That money in your wallet
Better to go a mom/pop shop around the block
Next time you need a loan
Try a local credit union
Next time you go out to eat
Pick a local eatery
Where there's a will there's a way
To read and ignore this would be a damn shame
Low-level office drone,
you move cautiously in the corporate hive
Never bringing any attention to yourself,
especially when the pink slip memos fly by
The queen bee of your department,
protects her workers very well
Although from time to time,
she has a tendency to raise living hell
But you never challenge her authority;
you keep your head down, and your voice low
With five more years to a solid pension,
quietly pushing the papers is the prudent way to go
Make no waves,
utter no dissident voice
Management is always monitoring:
so even when they're wrong,
you say they've made the right choice
Keep pushing the papers,
let your conscience live to work another day
on company pay
Don't examine the papers too close,
do exactly what the company say
You ain't a fearless whistle blower,
you're just a low-level rung on the management ladder
A middle-aged balding guy with a bad bladder
So you keep pushing the papers,
'cause everybody ain't brave like Karen Silkwood
Meltdown of a nuclear reactor from faulty parts
the company sold, which you knew were no good
But you pushed the papers on through anyway,
'cause it was time to punch out at the end of the day
At the 5:00 whistle
When the sunset in late November
Is less light and more molten
Like a blast-furnace window
Glowing above the highway home
Goo spilling from its sparkling ladle
Bent
At the off-ramp’s arthritic elbow
The city smolders
Under
The backs and braces of its groaning bridges
Like a half smoked cigarette
Crushed under the heel of a boot
An entire city is snuffed out.
The Man, my father, comes to this setting sun
As a welder
Flipping down his black mask
For his last day at work
With stars still tracing cross his eyes
And his factory-floor poems loose in his head
Like nuts and bolts rattling in his toolbox.
His visiting grandchildren
Sent from the Coasts for Thanksgiving
Clung like empty holsters to his massive thighs
May someday think Grandpa, what did you do with your life?
He wants to kill them
Kill them all
Lick his pink slip like a Christmas card envelope
And hang himself
With a drill
Still
Plugged into his whining hand
But on his last day home
With smokestacks steaming like gray volcanoes
The sunset remains wondrous to him
The Makar the Creator
He envisions a flower molded from bronze
Bloomed and shaped from his callused hands.
I think I'll die before I live
from time to time, I suppose
life seems more take than give
a cynical opinion sometimes shows
Michael, Gabriel or Azrael may
come to bring me my pink slip
and leave my future in disarray
ticket punched for the return trip
yet if I can get the jump on it
go ahead and postulate anyhow
a posthumous life might better befit
than what I've got here right now
today's stance an intractable position
a life well lived, for argument's sake
could depart now of my own volition
and leave some witticism at my wake
then folks who knew me, not one iota
could say "just seemed to be so content"
"though lately colder than North Dakota"
"To hell is what I think was meant"
and maybe I'll live on in my words
to make life both meaningful and bold
'stead of day's living for the birds
a posthumous life a thing to behold
'course I might need to think again
considering all the prose and cons
my best thinkin' might be just insane
afterlife might be a big come on.
maybe it's not any better than this
my Shangri-La might be right here
too hard to look back and reminisce
if I just posthumously disappear
© Goode Guy 2011-06-27
dear friends, we're gathered here...
more the norm than the exception
in this wonderful capitalist rape room
where coming into work can mean
leaving early without a job & a
pink slip, with a pat on the back & a
“thanks for being such a good worker”---
armed with all the facetious nonsense
that emanates from the mouths of
higher-ups, whose jobs are just a little
more secure than your own,
making them bent further over the table
with the drill shoved so deep up inside
them that you couldn’t pull it out with
a ****ing forklift,
if you even dared to try.
and on the day you come in &
they’ve taken away some of your coworkers,
leaving you “alive” as far as the workforce
goes (for one more day), you feel an odd
sense of guilt & blame, like it should have,
like it could have, like it will be you---
much like on imagines a survivor of a plane
crash sees the deaths of their co-flyers as
a precursor to their own fessing up to
that certainty of mortality,
you close your mouth with a sudden horror---
because these people were your friends,
as far as the workplace is concerned---
you’ve spent hours, weeks & years with
them & their fate has been decided with a
****ing red pen & a greeting at the door
when they were coming in,
because the higher-ups didn’t even have the
goddamned decency to give them a call
prior to the beginning of the work day---
so now, they hang their heads, some cry,
and in the eyes of all of them is a new
terror…a head full of “what am i gonna do?”
adding them to the legions of
america’s growing unemployed---
oh the wonderful “land of the free,”
where you can smile as long as you are
****ing
economically
viable.
tomorrow, they go online to file for
unemployment, to start the hardest job that
there is---
looking
for a
job.
and you miss them.
and you hope the best for them.
and you know the cards are stacked against them.
and you know neither obama or romney is gonna
****ing help them.
and you go to sleep so you can get up in the morning &
go back to the slaughterhouse,
hoping today isn’t your day (always tense & ready for your
time) &
hoping that wherever they are,
that they are ok.
Inspired by and sung to "The Whip It" tune by Devo.
CRACK that old age whip
Give it a pink slip,
Step on an elliptical,
Old age shouldn't have come this quick!
Now whip your bod,
into shape,
tone it up,
its not too late,
to whip it,
and slim it up good...
When old age comes along,
you must fix it,
before the youth cream sets out too long,
you must mix it,
when wrinkles come on too strong,
you can lick it,
Now mix it,
mix it good,
pour it on,
its not too late,
to be using,
some Retinol and Oil of Olay,
And if that doesn't work,
don't give up now,
theres still a botox doc in town,
go and get some,
you'll look puffy for awhile,
but don't worry, you'll deflate soon!
Don't nix it,
till you try it,
its not too late,
don't be frustrated,
get some shots
of lots of botox,
And always as a last resort,
if that doesn't work,
call up a plastic doc,
there might just be some glitches,
can make you like Michael Jackson,
and in that case, you'd better zip it!
Now go forward,
move ahead,
its not too late,
to go into debt,
so whip it
whip your card out!
If I tell you I love you
Would you believe me?
Ahh how can I love you?
I don't even know you
Lol
If I say your name
Do you know who I'll be calling?
You have many names
Haha
If I say the sun and the moon shine in your eyes
Do you know what I am talking about?
I am talking about moonshine and sunshine, my dear
Give me some liquors, will ya?
Ahh I don't drink
Just because I am infatuated with you
does not mean in fat u ate whatever you want
I am watching my figure
Lol
I am taking a vacation soon
Going to vacate my cubicle
It's been seeing me too long
And it wants a breather
Ha me too
Who wants to be there anyway?
Just kidding
Don't want my boss to see this
May get a pink slip tomorrow lol
Do the do's know what the don't's is doing?
Why is it don't do but it's never do don't
Ahh but if you say do dong that is a different story
Better keep it clean
We have kids around here
Somebody told me that before
Oh Tim you are hearing me?
I see an angry country that is ready to explode,
And if things don’t change it will happen and not much further down the road.
I see a country that is not willing to give up its values and dreams,
A country so tired of lies and politicians and their low handed schemes.
I see a country that has had life good much too long,
I see a country that is angry and that is ready to right so many wrongs.
When I talk to a neighbor or I talk to a friend,
The conversation always comes up about the way things are going and how they have got to end.
There are many who think they are trying to lead us like sheep,
They don’t want us to think or to make so much as a peep.
We’ve had our T.E.A. parties and we’ve marched in the streets,
But it hasn’t effected those in Washington they march to a different beat.
I think it’s time they get, what the rest of us get,
And no more special privileges will we permit.
If they don’t do the job they were sent there to do,
Then hand them a pink slip, if they don’t want to be a voice for me and for you.
And one term limits ought to be enough time to get their ideas across,
Any more time than that, they might start growing moss.
And what about honesty and integrity does it have different values for them than it has
for you and me .
I don’t think Washington, Jefferson, or even Lincoln would approve if they were alive to see.
The things that are transpiring in this country, the Land of Sweet Liberty, the Home of
the Free.
Are ways to manipulate good people like you and me.
This country has had a rash of set backs as of late,
And if we don’t start paying better attention and voicing our concerns, then we are
liable to wind up with nothing to put on our plate.
I firmly believe that we as a nation stand up and glorify Gods name above all else
forever more,
So that His almighty grace will spread across our land from shore to shore.
God has not turned His back on us, we were the ones that walked away,
And I pray to the almighty God that He forgives us this very day.
Form: