Best Pain In The Butt Poems

I visited Doctor Longdong 
Told doc something’s terribly wrong 
The pain in my hip
Is giving me gyp
He said it was caused by my thong!

I admit...

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My neighbour, her name’s Emma Boyd
Is someone you’d want to avoid
I will succinctly put
She’s a pain in the butt
I’ve renamed this gal Emma Royd


FICTION POEM

03/25/21...

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I grew a beard
while waiting for you
it looks more and more
like I'll never get through

My left ear was aching
I switched to my right
This perpetual holding
has...

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Born in Madrid, in fifty nine,
A military Kid, 3rd of 7 in the assembly line;
They named me Michael, but I answer to Wedge,
A Master Sergeant’s...

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Is the honeymoon over
I’ll tell you what gives me a hunch
When I leave for work in the morning
She hands me my luggage instead of my...

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You messed around 
and married a real 
"pain-in-the butt" man 

known throughout the land 
for ripping
burning 
completely deserting 
then leaving 
women hurting

his only claim to...

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March has just begun, yet already I tread its muddy waters
I hope, before it ends, I'll feel some ease; that's all that matters
Sometimes, unexpectedly, stress...

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Why would I want to be a flower
when I can smell as sweet?
Why would I want to be an ephemeral spectacle
when I can be an...

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Ahh what does that mean?
I heard that in my spirit
Oh yeah I'll let off steam
I'll let you know how I feel
And that is bull s
Haha...

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Im tired,
emotional,
so exausted.
I  need sleep.
Tears threaten
To spill from me
my eyes do droop
chest is heavy with 
a  hidden  locked
lead-lined heart
alone in  a...

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My teenage son decided to steal my credit card.
I put him over my knee and spanked him hard.
He's been a pain in the butt ever...

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Sonny sat on the floor 
in a low lit corner of the bedroom
he hugged his trumpet
as a young man they had had great times ...

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As the Sheriff of Nottingham’s prisoner
Maid Marian had been locked in a tower
Robin and his loyal band of merry men
Were determined to quash the sheriff’s...

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They knock you up,
your class of twenty-seven.
They may-be a pain in the butt!
When we leave, you'll think its heaven!

Some you will dearly miss- 
the quiet...

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My Eccentric Little Granny

Oh my greasy granny
With her little fanny
Boobs hung like boulders
That weigh down her shoulders

Her tummy wiggles like jelly
When she’s light and jolly
She...

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