Press '1' For English

I grew a beard
while waiting for you
it looks more and more
like I'll never get through

My left ear was aching
I switched to my right
This perpetual holding
has no end in sight

I wish I'd have noticed
before such great cost
that your phone number spells out
800-GET-LOST

Though I pressed '1' for English
I am thinking now
pressing '12' for Braille
might work better somehow

My friends have all passed on
my children have grown
while I have been sitting here
holding this phone

Your toll-free number
is anything but
with pulse-pounding migraine
and a pain in my butt

Yes, I was clean shaven
when this number I called
but now I'm all wrinkled
and dammit I'm bald!

My bones they will find
still sitting right here
the telephone clenched
where once was my ear

And your endless recording
monotonous, dull
will be amplified through
my cold empty skull
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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Jeavons Avatar
July 4, 2019 at 12:06 PM
This is hilarious! A favorite for sure! Blessings Michael, Susan
Wise Avatar
October 18, 2019 at 3:26 AM
Many thanks Susan! :)
De Beaulieu Avatar
February 3, 2019 at 7:54 AM
Hello Michael Wise, as i read this poem I had a good laugh. A nice way to begin my day. Have a nice day my friend.
Wise Avatar
February 3, 2019 at 8:37 AM
Thank u Darlene! Glad to be a part of starting your day in a positive way! :)
Awtry Avatar
January 21, 2019 at 4:00 AM
O this is such fun! I love the 1800 GET LOST! Excellent!
Wise Avatar
January 21, 2019 at 7:15 AM
LOL Thank u P.S.! :)
Jeavons Avatar
January 16, 2019 at 9:24 PM
Another and hilarious poem Michael. I love it.
Wise Avatar
January 16, 2019 at 9:29 PM
Glad to hear that Susan, thank u! :)
Wanter Avatar
January 11, 2019 at 10:16 AM
This is hilarious, clever, humorous, and a fav!
Wise Avatar
January 11, 2019 at 2:53 PM
Glad u enjoyed it Sunlite! :)
Laurie Avatar
January 10, 2019 at 6:28 PM
G'day Michael … great. How true is your verse. These company's drive you bloody mad. You feel like pressing the nuclear numbered button. Thank you Michael - Lindsay
Wise Avatar
January 10, 2019 at 6:34 PM
LOL! Very true Lindsay! Thank u for stopping by! :)
Staton Avatar
January 10, 2019 at 2:29 PM
Hello Michael! This made me smile!
Wise Avatar
January 10, 2019 at 2:36 PM
I'm glad to hear that! And I think we can all relate to this! Thanks Valerie! :)
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