Best Oops Poems

Ted enjoys a quick roll in the hay...
He’s sleeping with his buxom P A
She confirmed she’s with child
Ted baulked, then got quite riled
I wonder what his wife’s got to say!

5/26/18...

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Sue dated an old bloke called Darren
He said surgery'd made him barren
But one errant sperm
Escaped from his ‘worm’
Now Sue’s had a baby named Sharon!

05~24~17

WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON

For his sins he surely will pay
Strong little swimmer went astray
There's tears in his eyes
No nights with the guys
And...

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Oops, It was an Accident

I accidentally let one loose
on a blind date with a guy named Bruce.
We went to the movies on that fateful day
happily carrying our snacks on a tray.
We settled down in our comfy seat
all ready to enjoy this special treat.
Things were proceeding...

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For the contest "Today I accomplished..."
A placing in the contest I wished
Ended up again with N/A
But what went wrong anyway?
I checked the date and looked over long
So I wouldn't get anything wrong
But I posted a wrong poem instead
And that's why "N/A"  it said
It's like...

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Unplanned pregnancy...I guess it could be called a bit of a cock up!

7th April 2015...

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A pyromaniac named Jack,
Who hailed from the town of Hackensack,
Decided one day, 
with matches he’d play
He’s a mummy now, flat on his back!
...

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Inebriated Bob painted his house bright pink
His poor neighbors raised a  hell-of-a stink
Then in October
Finally got sober
Took one look at the house and asked for a drink
     

For the Tickle Me Pink contest...

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It's not because of flood or fire,
nothing more than a desire
that's  prompting us to tear apart 
all that we've  established here.

Tired of treadmill tedium
breakfast always at eight am,
walk the dog by nine o'clock,
skim the pool tick tock, tick tock.

Time to find new closets,...

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For the love of God Evie,
Please give it a rest,
After last night you should know,
That I love you the best.

That Lilith thing I had,
Was ages ago
And no apples got eaten,
As I'm sure you must know.

Because you bit it first,
Then you gave me a bite,
And Then...

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It was lurking,
that patch of ice,
as slick as glass.

Quite innocently
I stepped outside
and fell on my . . .

ankle....

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His client had a leg amputation

   Oops! Wrong leg due to miscalculation

      His client wanted to sue

         But as the attorney knew

        ...

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I’m not sure where an apology comes from
And beyond that
I am certain I have no comprehension for ‘sorry’
I mean that literally
I can’t borrow enough question marks
Truly. . . I dropped the ball between you & me. . . I did
When I tried to go back...

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OOPS!!!!


When the man in charge stumbles and falls
Stops all the laughter and happiness stalls
He fumbles and falters as each decision he goofs’
But declare that his weakness is only an OOPS!!!

When those all around him do the same thing
He lashes with his tongue to give them...

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Poopoop fart don’t stink

                                      flammable close to lit...

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There once was a girl named Shelly 
Her favorite food was jelly
One day she over indulged
Until her tummy just bulged
She had put too much in her belly...

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