Oops, It Was An Accident

Oops, It was an Accident I accidentally let one loose on a blind date with a guy named Bruce. We went to the movies on that fateful day happily carrying our snacks on a tray. We settled down in our comfy seat all ready to enjoy this special treat. Things were proceeding oh so well with popcorn, hot dogs, banana split with caramel, when suddenly my stomach began to rumble, and to my dismay, gurgle and grumble. In fear, I felt the gases build up like a once dormant volcano about to erupt. Then helplessly, I had to just let it loose; oh my gracious, the stench was profuse! Mortified I wanted to drop to my knee, but played possum so none would suspect it was me. People started shouting such gross obscenities, and hollering out unmentionable profanities. One voice declared that something had died; another indignantly wanted the stinker identified. Someone suggested the skunk should be drowned; I wanted to flee, but I dared not turn around. So quietly I sat unknown in the dark cinema, as poor Bruce wondered aloud if someone had been given an enema. My heart boomed forth just like a doom-drum, I prayed no other foul odor would escape my guilty bum. But like a clan of skunks, it lingered and stunk, I was so afraid folks would figure out who’d made that funk. Thankfully I was saved from public disgrace as ushers armed with spray cans fogged up that whole place. Gratefully I sighed, relieved that my crime had not been traced back to me by show time! 07-09-2018 Contest: I Accidentally Let One Loose Sponsor: Charles Messina Placement: 1st