Best Nosy Poems
a worm and hook plop
orange koi gather around
like nosy neighbors
She's "concerned" that my mess is immense
"I work late." Is my latest defense
Yes, my yard is a wreck
But IF you must peck
Your big NOSE might get stuck in my fence
So you KNOCKED my troublesome trooper?
Tell ya what you prim party-pooper
I will warn you once more
Poke your head through MY door?
I'll slam it right square on your snooper!
This most peculiar man
Who did handstands in the pool
Always in the shallow end
In his speedo, to stay cool?
I've seen him dance in the street alone
This most peculiar man
Or out lying on the public grass
Working on his his tan.
But mostly I saw him by the water
His banana hammock donned.
This most peculiar man
Some of the neighbours, not too fond.
But every warm and sunny day
His feet rose above his hands
Waving about in his speedo again
This most peculiar man.
She runs down the street in her bathrobe and curlers,
With the big flower prints peering in the neighbors windows,
She has nothing else better to do than to get in others business,
Acting like she owns the block, the other neighbors can't stand this,
If a dog barks she's calling the cops,
She's also knocking on your door reminding you to mow your lawn,
I thank her, smile politely, and slam the door,
I hope she got the hint this time, Lord.
What is it to me if
The teenage girl next door
Leaves on a date dressed up
Like a downtown whore?
If her brother wears his cap
With the bill in the back
And their father drives up
In a ratty old hearse Cadillac?
Why do I let the smallest
Things annoy me so?
I think I would move away
If I had some place to go.
written July 27, 2021
My first introduction when I moved in across the hall
Was a lovely older lady, who stood under five feet tall
She came up to my door to say welcome and hello
And to tell me of the neighbours, some above and some below.
She invited me over for a drink, I assumed a coffee or a tea
Vodka, gin or rum she says, of each, i've got plenty
I said rum was good with me, but just a little splash
I watched her a mix a couple drinks, both were half and half.
We talked late into the evening, as she told all of what she knew
Of everyone who had lived there, from now since '92
Sometimes I used to wander over as we lived on the same floor
She pulled a stool to the peephole, before she'd open up the door
I've moved farther away now and I didn't keep in touch
But I do miss our little chats while having just a bit too much
It's been awhile since we've caught up, maybe I should phone
It would be a little different now, since I'm too far to stumble home
Quiet were we and without a single care,
but, "shush…did you hear that over there?"
A small sigh and a rattling on the floor,
couldn’t be the baby, I just closed the door.
I just couldn’t figure out the what or where!
Sounded like a moan or someone in fear,
but the exact tones I couldn’t really hear.
Maybe there was a mouse in the trap
under the sink, it could’ve went “SNAP”!
Then against my wall I pressed my right ear.
Listening to the wall on my tippiest-toes,
I knew what it was, though I didn’t impose.
Those darn neighbors again spooning late,
why couldn’t they get busy earlier at eight?
This always happens Friday night, I suppose.
With my ear pressed tight I was so enthralled.
Like a zoo with animals amuck, I was appalled.
I was the creepy neighbor in the next apartment,
captivated in this small closet compartment.
Fascinated and beguiled, my hubby I called.
So we were nosy for about a half hour or so.
Giggling like children were we at their plateau.
It’s actually nice to see a couple with attraction
to each other and giving such satisfaction.
Just then I saw my hubby’s face all aglow.
One look in his eye is all I needed to woon,
quickly we ran to the bed and began to spoon.
All of a sudden, I heard giggles from next door,
I knew they were listening like we were before.
So we stopped, “WE CAN HEAR YOU, YOU BAFOON!”
It was very quiet there and quiet too over here,
we didn’t know what to say without sounding weird.
The man cleared his throat and said something silly,
“what are your names? We are Milly and Billy.”
We ended up being best friends for many a year.
See how good spooning can be for one’s vigour?
Installed sound-proof walls…nosy neighbors no more.
Shush...Did you hear that? Poetry Contest
September 16, 2018
Nosy thinks he knows my heart, he peaks around the corner,
If there were no secrets to his spying ways, the guilt wouldn't weigh on his shoulders...
To My Secret Admirerer...
The silent neighbor is me,
especially at night,
when they fight,
I stay out of it
just being polite
and not a nosy bee;
those bruises the kids had,
they swore they fell,
not my fault,
not my responsibility
to report,
just being polite;
and not a nosy bee;
when their mother
broke her arm,
her screams;
I say, I did not hear,
the stereo was up,
or I was looking the
other way,
just being polite,
and not a nosy bee;
yes the screaming goes on,
deaf is me
just being polite
and not a nosy bee.
I was on the second floor
My window open for the breeze
When from below I heard a sneeze
Then just silence, nothing more.
The next day I investigated
The hollowed bush below my window
Within it tidy piles, stacked all in a row
So I waited for the night, breath bated.
I heard the rattling of bike spokes
and careful movements in the dark.
Safer here, than a bench in the park
A cease of rustling, when I went for a smoke.
I wasn't sure if I should say hello
If he or I would feel scared or comprimised
Maybe he knew I knew, I wouldn't be surprised
So we both pretended of eachother, not to know.
He must have found a new place
I hope somewhere with walls and floor
I'd heard my unofficial neighbour,
But never seen his face.
A young girl eavesdrops
On her parents one day
And found out that
They were the head
Of the mafia and plans
To have her killed
Dispose of her body in
Back of the cemetery
Behind rose hill
So, she runs to
A friend's house
Shaking with fear
Crying and regretting
What she had heard
about her parents
What she didn't know was
That they made the whole thing up
To teach her a lesson
About eavesdropping
taunted trees drunk
fostered felon gulp
bounty breeze served
leering lusty lurch
saucy summer tossed
per punctured pores
pruning pulpy puke
altering vying view
dark dances drew
nosy nature smirks
moaning mockery's verge
dainty drips athirst
same mystic malady
belching feelings breed.
'20:02:08:18:51
In the corner of the room, you slyly creep,
With your two cents ready, promises to keep,
A dime-store detective, prying in my space,
You're such a penny hoe, you never leave a trace.
Whispered conversations, you twist and you weave,
Like a spider in the shadows, never wanting to leave,
Why not rub those two cents together with glee,
And let that gossip churn like a stormy sea?
With a wink and a smirk, you dive right in,
Making sense of stories that you'd never been in,
Your curiosity's boundless, a relentless itch,
Oh, darling, you’re such a nosy little witch!
Why not take a step back, let the silence breathe?
Instead of peeking over, like a thief in the leaves,
Every little secret you prickle and pry,
Painting tales on the canvas of night’s quiet sky.
So here's to the moments when you choose to refrain,
To hold back those cents, stop pouring out your rain,
Just for a second, let my life be my dance,
And spare us the drama, give peace a chance.
2024
Another neighbour in the building
I saw him from my balcony.
He Twisted up a plastic bag
and carefully hid it, under the tree.
He went back to his car and waited,
Then eventually, drove away.
I waited for hours until it was dark
To see if someone would collect it that day
When no one ever came to see
I gave up and went to bed.
Dreams of what could be inside
Racing through my curious head.
Morning came and I had to know
Of me, my nosiness got the best.
I ran outside and untwisted the bag
To find a very lively nest.
I dropped the bag and ran like hell!
Angry wasps were everywhere!
Now the only part I want to know
Is why he put it there....