Best Kraut Poems
Cyber Sunday
Cyber Kraut is served
Cyber Baby goes down for a nap
Cyber Relief felt by Cyber Mommy
Cyber Grandma is Surrounded by Cyber Children
Video Monday
Video players at the table
Video battles,
Bow! Bam! Bing! Sing!
Video children
Video World
Video Land
No one sleeps
Nothing but cyber reality, and videos
The new reality,
No mouth speak any more
No poetry
No art
No gardening
Reality: New World Order
A cyber world run by videos
People extinct
Long ago
If it were not for the pork and black eyed peas
My husband would not be eating this meal with me
I love my pork and sauerkraut for our New Year good
luck meal
Hubbie hates kraut and would take bad luck that is
just the way he feels
I will have the kraut and him the black eyed peas
Then he will share in the good luck meal with me
Nigh on sixty years ago this Yankee from the State of Indiana,
Wed a lovely Confederate lass from the State of Louisiana!
I thought I knew her pretty well by the time our vows were read,
But there was a New Years Day secret that she had left unsaid!
Seems there's an old southern tradition that I'd never heard of before.
By eatin' black-eyed peas on New Years Day you'd have good luck, she swore!
That lowly, bland legume is rather tasteless but a hambone spices it up.
And my spouse adds this and that to the mix, usin' her measurin' cup.
With the black-eyed peas is served cornpone (as it's called in Dixie land),
From a recipe handed down by generations and it must be made by hand!
Since I was introduced to that humble pea known for its great good luck,
'Tis our chuck on New Years Day with a generous decanter of Cold Duck!
Now, in Hoosier Land on New Years Day we ate sausage and sauerkraut.
Whether is helps to eat peas or kraut for a year's good luck, I somewhat doubt,
But, I must confess with my spouse at my side, life has mostly been a breeze.
Do you reckon it has somethin' to do with eatin' 'pone and black-eyed peas!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 3 in Russell Sivey's "Good Luck Meal" Contest - Jan 2012
"Hungarian Festival"
Pro bono bands gradually allure the crowds
Their effort is unmatched while working unique instruments
To make people understand where they came from
Let us not forget our many predecessors as they sing
About the land beyond our own
Loud speakers tantalize throughout the day
A foreign and beautiful demonstration of national pride
Adorned in gowns and bonnets of floweresque appearance
Little girls dance about in the street displaying lessons they were taught
Cute little sensations build the fantasy and wisp so many away
To a place they never knew of others and their founding roots
A new experience teaches newcomers that their world is not the only one
Where a rich culture runs flamboyant, it is a rare chance to shine
Spices in the air fill ones nose with enchanting scents from every food station
Dishes of colbasse and saur kraut put together with loving care
The dilemma of so many is because their stomachs are only so big
But good spirits will come not from a cup but from the heart
As good people try tirelessly to share themselves with others
The museum evokes a thoughtfulness for the furniture and paintings
Century old representations that the Hungarians were always clever
Sculpted pottery of undecided interpretation warm you up for the air blown glass
These people are to envy for a world outside our own
They are bountiful and harmonious and plentiful
An inspiration to make our own contribution
We should all be as complete as them
There's a land to visit in your dreams
a place that really has, it seems,
no Brussels sprouts or cauliflower,
no cabbage, broccoli or sauer-
-kraut or parsnips or broad beans,
and where peas truly are the only greens.
Spuds they bake there have some crunch
so they go quite well with Sunday lunch.
And, to get apple pie or creamy whips
you only have to eat your chips.
So close your eyes and try to find
The Land Of Kale Much Maligned,
where Popeye, building superpowers,
shuns spinach and instead devours,
guess what, to give him strength supreme?
Yes! Lots of scones with jam and cream!
After becoming confident
(das ernest frank gent) handled ignition
jerryrigged knobs, levers, motors,
nameless other parts quintessentially,
set registers to “understand” vital www xy zone.
----------------------------------------------------------
A blitzkrieg capstone detonated explosive forcees
generating horrendous instantaneous jolt,
Krakatoa lost mighty noise,
outrageous phenomena qualified regarding
tremendous unearthly violent
whiplashing xing yawping zeitgeist!
----------------------------------------------------------
Imagine; The giant from Jack and the beanstalk, deign
Paul Bun, or the Jolly Green Giant,
straddling an imaginary line
between fall and winter. Therein lied the rub
(a tub tub three men in a tub), a question of mine
if pecking peccadillos peculiar per pretend puppies
engaged in any...Snoop...doggy style spine
tingling homosexual behavior,
no who matter intimated naked playtime also flourished
amidst can dyed cornicopia of good 'n plenty eats
contrasted with paucity,
life and death, Halloween evolved
as a celebration and superstition with wine
woman and song. Such weaning of the hallow,
or hallow of the weaner originated
with ancient Celtic festival of Samhain,
when village people would light vanity of bonfires,
and wear politically incorrect costumes
to ward off roaming ghosts of inept leaders
if necessary rivaling Tarzan impressions
swinging on a vine.
The Mound of the Hostages car bon mot dated
(by this amateur sigh hint hussed)
at 4,500 to 5000 years old, or there about
suggesting Samhain celebrated long before
first Celts arrived in Ireland
about 2,500 years ago with no cleats boot riveting clout
Samhain (pronounced /'s??w?n/
SAH-win or /'sa?.?n/ SOW-in,
Irish pronunciation: without,
or possibly Greek to this doubt
ting Thomas – [s??u?n?]),
a Gaelic festival marking the end,
when pollination ceased to flout
ushered advent of harvest season,
and beginning cust tomb of caw king grout,
discussing the epic winter of Gilgamesh,
or the "darker half" of the year,
when one feasted on giblets and sauer kraut
Halloween rooted er beer reed in ancient biers
caravansari doggedly exhumed along route,
66 (the third beastly 6
A good luck meal on New Years Day, consists of many things,
They say it makes a difference on what the New Year brings.
I got to thinking ,wow, what luck, for the pig that gave that chop,
that i stuffed with the dressing and put sour kraut on top.
He wasn't very lucky as anyone could see, and when I served the black eyed peas,
they were staring back at me.
As if to say, "your lucky meal was bought with a great cost.
It wasn't very lucky for the pig whose life was lost."
To myself I wondered , How can I eat this meal?
I was thinking about that piggy, I could even hear him squeel.
I bowed my head and said dear God, I know this food is blessed,
Help us to be so thankful for that pig who is at rest.
So as I passed the food along I said in words so clear,
Thank you pig for being food for my lucky year.
A weekly meal at home
Pork chops boiled in sour kraut
But there’s another good luck meal
I’d like to tell you about
My big brother served our country
During the Vietnam War
He said the Navy fed him well
But there was a dish he longed for
Each letter he sent had lines blacked out
Censors concealed his whereabouts
The only sentences left intact
Were about the lamb he couldn’t live without
One Sunday Mom made leg of lamb
Thinking Artie was still in the Pacific
When unannounced, he walked through the door
Our “best luck” meal was terrific
*Entry for Russell's "Good Luck Meal" Contest
Red power mode
White digital
Blue logo
My, oh my ...
sweet apple pie!
Patriotic American cheese is turning sour Kraut commie
Democracy is Wisconsin curdling ... penicillin shot
needed between the ailing ballot box,
sho’ ain’t Louisiana Purchase forthcoming
Lady Liberty is bowing face down, Kansas Toto-style,
to Kremlin oligarchy ...
didn’t take much to bend with Washington wavy subservience
It’s an Idaho russet Ruskie crying shame
Couch the Benedict-ion omelette breaking news:
Missy Freedom done Alaska huskie hussy sold herself
to be a Soviet satellite skirt muzzled tramp mule
Red power mode
has taken cyber control of all voter confidence
White digital bar-code
activate the Manchurian self-destruct sequence
Blue logo brand ruble sold,
keeps the general populace straddling the fence
As they reality TV see their loose Lady Liberty
make a Texas loan star barracuda bow face
Proud North Dakota woman bending her knee,
acknowledging her Bolshevik bastard place
It’s a Kentucky bourbon crying shame
Democracy kissing the Politburo Czar ring
Bluegrass filly ruling class
selling the masses out for the Balaam green
Capitol Hill Star Spangled silent gag,
money mutes on a Pavel dog Con-stitutional prostitute
Wavy anthem cloth used as a snot rag,
Molotov noses following the Red Pied Pier booger flute
My, oh my ...
Marx Twain subversive tweet sweet apple pie!
Collaborator citizens being called patriotic comrades
Eating the Stalinist straw buries,
spit sprinkled with
Chernobyl pyramid scheme
propaganda whipped cream
Traitor taste the Taps Blue Fibbing beer,
free-market funeral dirge price gouge overflowing,
in the white Lenin toe-tag black body bag aisle
While the Ukraine lobbyist piggies
are covetously Crimea coffer crying
Oh, Nevada bordello bosom alligator weep ...
let the Alabama tick tears leech flow
down those Florida lemon-squeezed cheeks
It’s a New Mexico caliente green chile crying shame —
Them neo-Anazazi, gun-clicking squatters
getting a Wounded Knee ice gulag reservation claim
Lady Liberty doing an Independence bow face,
it’s a thirteen stripe, Siberian mongrel disgrace
For our New Years ‘good luck meal’ we’re have’n Pork on a –
‘SPIT' - son
No I didn’t say – ‘SPIT’- son
(I wipe my eye)
Yes I did say ‘SPIT‘- but not ‘too – SPIT’
It is okay son- don’t cry-we can all get things wrong-
From time to time
Now where was I -ah yes,
The reason for the –‘SPIT’…
Testing-testing
Are you okay now-son - Good
It is considered good luck-to eat Pork-
With black-eyed peas and sour kraut on New Years day
And the reason for the –‘SPIT’- they say
It cooks the pork - to perfection,
Myself -I prefer lamb
©? Brenda V Northeast 10th January 2012
Eyebrows on noses and whiskers on women
Large rats and wombats that suckle my kitten
Penguins that waddle in hot sulfur springs
These are a few of my befuddled things
La da, di da da
Piglets that paddle in puddles of poodles
Parrots that prattle for peanuts and noodles
Wild things that fly in the face of my fan
These are the things that I chase when I can
La da, di da da, li da da, li da da
Rabies and robbers and nights in Havana
Babies that slobber on bites of banana
Fickle young fingers in pickles and kraut
These are the things that my life is about
When the elephant stomps
When the Man-o-war stings
When I'm feeling small
I simply remember my old mattress springs
And then I can't jump
At all!
La da, di da da, li da da, li da!
Favorite pig out…
Bier bratwurst and sour kraut
Flies buzzing about
For a chum on the occasion of his 50th birthday. lots of insider jokes I am afraid! The meter totally stolen :-)
You could hear the engine roar, As the van approached the door
And the squealing of the brakes, pedal pressed onto the floor
And he drove right into St john's Street, K&A upon his chest
His name is Malcolm, and he drives the bestest beer van in the west
Now Malcolm loves a girly, A lady he knows as Kar
She lived all alone in Stroud, but knew her way around a bar
She knew just where to pull just right and which end she had to tweak
So Malcolm got his firkin there three times every week
They call him Malcolm
(mallkkeeeeee)
And he drives the bestest beer van in the west
She said she'd like to bathe in beer he said then I'm your man
so when he finished work one night he loaded up the van
He said do you want some gluten-free, it'll help you with your gout,
she said Malcolm gimmee savernake, I'll take the stout without
That chuffed old malcyyy
(Malceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)
and he drives the bestest beer van in the west
Ahh ooooo
Malc's life is often confused, like when he went to Limburg,
He drove the van there all the way, but later was a real nerd,
having parked it up on his return he cried like a banshee
'Cause when he searched both high and low he could not find the keys
So Malc called Kar, and she Andy, a plan they did concoct
They flew her out to Limburg quick, so the van could be unlocked,
But on the windscreen of that van, they found a note in Kraut
The keys were found hurrah - it was no longer a van without!
They call them Scluesheln,
(ke---eee---eys!)
And they locked the bestest beer van in the west.
aaa ooo
Now Malc likes to plan and dream, coming up with ventures new,
From brew'ries and micropubs, selling the beer he likes to brew
He has strong thoughts, partlicularly against religion,
Though that doesn't stop him liking one particular Christian!
The call him Henry...
(henreeee!)
And he plays the bestest guitar in the west (and north and south and east!)
....
(See Pt. 2!)
Happy New Year!
Time will tell.
What lyes ahead
Come toll the bell.
Kiss your love.
Eat pork and kraut.
Sing "Auld Lang Syne."
Throw troubles out.
Make resolutions.
Add the old.
Pray for peace.
God make us bold.
Happy New Year!
As the bells do call.
Ringing in
New Hope for all.
It’s the time of the year for Oktoberfest,
The nip in the air, the leaves skittering about
A fall festival that rates among the year’s best.
Custom beers and homemade pretzels to test
While giving to German heritage a shout-out,
It’s the time of the year for Oktoberfest.
This year an accordion band will be the guest
Entertaining with polkas and customary shouts,
A fall festival that rates among the year’s best.
Plenty of toasts are offered with appropriate jest
There’ll be a “last man standing” boxing bout,
It’s the time of the year for Oktoberfest.
All the young children will be suitably dressed
In lederhosen and Janker, while eating their kraut
A fall festival that rates among the year’s best.
All the activities are characterized by their zest
Participants will have clean fun, without a doubt,
It’s the time of the year for Oktoberfest --
A fall festival that rates among the year’s best.
Written October 16, 2022