Best Inedible Poems
POINTING TO THE PROBLEMS
{Bivouacs}
Beat down with legal fees
Tied up with taxes;
Tripped up with mortgages;
Ripped off with student loans
Insulted with insurance
Telephone updates.
Out of date opts,
New upgrade rates;
Food on the down-low
Carrots in the closet;
Conjugating with fake rice.
Plastic cabbage, inedible corn.
Tomatoes with fish dung
Water with lead, flatulent cows
Polluting the air.
Carbon emission:
Beyond the stratosphere:
Halliburton and agent orange.
Nuclear explosion -radiation;
Devastating the atmosphere.
I can’t explain, with no
nutrients to the brain.
No minerals to the lungs n heart.
Contaminated nation;
Sheer contamination.
Is it too late, to rise above the hate?
Tired n Devastated, tried elevation.
Tried to immunize, and fine tune
My body to this new moon.
With herbs n mushrooms.
Sun Hot, Global Scorching...
Illuminati wants hearts,
and good body parts.
Neanderthals,running back to their caves
Underground bunkers, where they’ll be safe…
Americans dangling off bridges with knapsacks;
Flimsy structures and Bivouacs
No air, no food, no heat,
Not even water safe to drink.
Like Dinosaurs and bees, fast becoming extinct.
I can’t even think, with no nutrients to the brain.
No minerals to fortify lungs n heart.
Contaminated nation,
Sheer contamination.
With nowhere to run;
What do you think should be done?
A bunch of dry lime leaves like schoolkids runs
across the street. Be careful, do not slip
on crispy morning frost. I see someone’s
bike on its side, its owner rubs his hip.
Are you okay? He is okay. A crow
pecks out a crumpled tinfoil. What's inside?
Alas, inedible. I’d like to know
what cars parked off the road dream of at night.
Oh, these wet dreams that make their windows sweat,
you’re definitely better, to misquote
Poe, than reality. A young brunette
next door walks her old dachshund in the coat.
That's how a pen of poet turns sometimes
a routine morning walk into the rhymes.
21.10.2019
Your Best Sonnet July-December 2019 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: John Hamilton
https://www.howmanysyllables.com
10 10 10 10 0 10 10 10 10 0 10 10 10 10 0 10 10
How many layers should you peel off an onion?
I often stomp in the salad
yes, until it is inedible
In confidence _ to risk
Trust must always lie with the bottom up
The gears are spinning
Call me naive
I believe ... until proven otherwise
Three Atheist limericks
for April Fools' Day 2006
Dear Mrs. Schiavo: Goodbye.
Dear Mrs. Schiavo: Goodbye.
Fifteen years was a long time to die.
Your husband was brave
To withstand the wave
Of inedible pie in the sky.
Why San Diegans remove Crosses from public Land
The SD City Council must hold strong:
Those mountaintop Christians are wrong.
Crucifixion's the sign
Of insensitive minds
Not the Native Americans' song.
Unrequited Faith
Dear Judeo-Christian God:
Your behavior's exceedingly odd.
You let Hitler misbehave
Then killed thousands with waves
And can't keep your priests' hands off kids' bods!
All around us
It’s an epidemic
Man-induced plague
It’s a conspiracy
To hook people
To non food foods
Eats that should be
Technically inedible
Anything to grease the wheel
Of factories and consumerism
Nothing grown naturally
Nothing from a farm
Heavens no
Promoting foods whipped up
From powders and chemicals
None of those
Vegetables or fruits
Or other live stuff
Let the population thrive
On plastic derivatives
Deceitfully charming
Taste buds everywhere
Inducing dependency
Decomposing corpses wandering
Like loose time bombs
Waiting to explode
AP: Honorable Mention 2023
Submitted on February 7, 2022 for contest A STRAND (1068) sponsored by BRIAN STRAND
Originally posted on November 11, 2017
Atop an inverted pyramid
A seismic shift in brain chemistry takes place
Channelling all mojo into a spiralling funnel
Bottom of it a mirage of an alluring treat
An inedible slice of chocolate cake
There a chocoholic dwells
This mid-crisis coping mechanism exits in vain
Worshipped till another fascinating self-revelation sets in
Everybody poops
but mine don't stink
What the heck, am I supposed to do
they think I'm full of crap
but I have to swear it's true
'Cause when I'm on the potty
An arrangements on its way
Then I let lose some colon fruit
and it smells like a bouquet
For Roy's poop contest
The First Murder
"Both of you son's of mine,
Bring me the fruit and wine!"
Like a cheetah stalking it's prey,
My brother and I raced outside.
To please our father's heart,
Not out of fear, but of pure love,
My brother picked fruit from the trees,
While I sought, the finest wine thereof.
"Father will love these berries and nuts,"
The smile on my brothers face gave away,
But deep down, my heart did flutter,
The fruit was rotten and inedible, I must say.
"Don't you think it's little wasted?"
I dares to speak, fear in my heart,
But he said nothing and he glared,
A look that threatened to tear me apart.
"Well, well, well, son's of mine,
Let's see who loves me more!"
His eyes shone with excitement divine,
As he drank the wine I poured,
But his joy didn't last very long,
For my brother's fruit, then he saw,
"What does this shoddy offering mean?
You care so little, you didn't even care
To check it for a flaw?!"
The anger on his face was clear,
He shouted and bade us to go,
"Next time, do better or don't bother,
And let this be a lesson you know."
As I lay dying in agony,
My brother's wicked deed I could see,
"It's all your fault," he said with a glee,
As he plunged the knife into me.
This ended the world's first murder,
A cautionary tale for humanity to ponder,
That jealousy and violence only lead to sorrow,
Leaving a painful legacy for tomorrow
"Dear Jess, when I first met you,
We were halfway through Year Nine,
You had enormous hair and pigtails
And a grin as big as mine,
We were friends from that day onwards,
And had so many good times
That some I can't recall
Or fit them all into a rhyme,
We played pranks on all the teachers;
Crofty trembled at our names,
We tormented Mr Hill
And let Nathan take the blame,
We've made so many crap cakes
And nachos with too much cheese,
Inedible and incredible,
Such is our expertise,
We went skateboarding at night,
Though we never knew quite how,
But we had a great time failing
And we still can't do it now,
Have an awesome 18th birthday,
With too much food and legal drink,
Now's the time you should become mature,
Or so some people will foolishly think!
I know you'll stay this cool forever,
And be a success in many ways,
So have a year sexier than Dougie,
And be happy for all your days!"
And you'll notice in this poem that trying
To be cool, all my effort I've hid,
It's only some rhyme for a friend after all...
...Ah, who am I trying to kid?
Me’ Fury
Me’ fury, ensue, inasmuch of the bullies; my halo es leaning, me’ grimace is beaming, my hand on the hilt, mahound be at awe, es me’ duty
Sheathe the’ inedible reach, lid thy albinism duress, your forehead me’ claymore to rest, snipe fell manual take topheth, down to the cove shall descend
Coffer, tricely Mankind, pending another one come, donion debar de devil, Lord with the wade, or bis mein Woden o hoard
Cold-blooded,
I poison my precious poem
with the tip of my quivering quill
to quench the venomous quest
of my crystal inkpot!
Burying the edited lexis from my perished poetry
in the grisly graveyard of
dusty Dictionaries and tattered Thesaurus
I nip a bud from a withered bouquet of
touch-me not blues
and preserve the petals in the perky pages
of my decaying diary…
I push my pristine poetries in the ‘tower of silence’
for the heartless hungry vultures
who will devour them briskly,
while the inedible skeletons will melt
in the holy fires of eternity…
I crumple my unpublished work
and toss them in the unfathomable depths of dust-bin
lying near the moth-eaten closet at the Editor’s dusty desk!
With my ink-stained immaculate fingers
I strangle my perennial poem to premature demise.
Lets pray for her sanctimonious salvation
And hope she attains Nirvana
and get a peerless placement in
the lexiconian library of immortality…
Amen!
My scribbles scrammbled on a tatty bit of paper
I vomit ideas
Before they vapour
They appear inedible mountains of mess
I churn and turn the illegible scribbles to words that truly bless
I am a dyslexic writer - Published Poem in Forgotten Letters
by Michaelw1two
The bard, the muse, the low versifier,
each the times bemoan;
stressed by compassion's grasp,
ingrained word sown life disowns;
individualist rare, previews minds mood,
frigid wills he does discern;
insurrection, a thought held vast,
implied truth's, tout one’s dishonor.
Prerogative, free your chained mind,
release past stain despotic;
concomitant imbroglio once bound,
faces now this world chaotic;
temporal truth outweighs want,
life’s bliss questions idea quixotic;
perceptivity palpable eoan,
entwined societal gist, riddle semiotic.
Incessant proves life’s filature,
its touch, binds each into account;
emblements, an inedible gruel,
thought as fruit, abstruse keynote;
historicity, prime number obscured,
self’s augmentative connote;
coincibency jesting theft,
petitio principia, intones snidely cantor.
Initiates, anew in words from blood,
long of mindfulness and mores;
misconstrue one’s meanderings,
as logical crazes, fecundity ignores;
interpretation, ideas coalesce,
worked verse provides the Id amore’;
contradictions, fuel creative trysts,
twisted thoughts, this art restores.
Orient then one’s psyche appetent,
as present wanes benignly;
dupery thrives, flexile ideas hide,
within abderian punning finery;
circumscribe in self perspicacity,
release your jocularity divinely;
sagaciousness poetic ruse,
a mendicants muse, his true babblery.
Jan 2010
Indemnify for your goodwill eternally, I fail to be.....even
Goaded kaleidoscope makes one feel lucky to have titillating summons....with
No egregious sentiments even on accolated appraisal of you with....her
Soul shackled in cyclone of karma always pave it's terminus towards...you
Neither jostled by the violent gusts, nor worried for the inedible obstacles en route there...are
Peep over the wide expanse of the siamese past and future to others may seem...still
Every beat harps the same note that even now you are still...mine
17/08/2015
Incessantly distinguish applause readiness
Estimate necessitous showing entertainment
A Champion over there I ask where
Society authority mistress speechlike
Fascinates popular quality I poem announce
Action preservatives colonies corianderly
Obtained emblematie of abundance flowers
Used ceremony inedible trumpet bachelor
Manipulation embematic gladiolus drawed
Attention elastic related Poet structure
Finish forever and a Day by a Champion I am
Progress amen strong impress and wised
Response instance representation vowels
Comparielongate current thy Air sense
Beautiful scenery may we Poets Have a toast at eve
Inspring a song drill agricultural practice made famous
Stream exercise general design post up horizontal
Frame Peachy Write my first and last thought
Picture this moment with honestness
I am poeticly here I won.