Best Heebie Jeebies Poems
To the tune of "Itsy Bitsy, Teenie Weenie, Yellow, Polka-Dot Bikini"
Dedicated to Nancy Pelosi
Chorus:
She has an itsy bitsy
Teenie weenie
Brain inside her little beanie
And she uses it infrequently
An itsy, bitsy
Teenie weenie brain
We get the heebie jeebies
Whenever Nancy's in our company
Two, three, four
Don’t stick around, head for the door
Nancy:
Oh, I pushed and I wrested for health care
But no one wanted this lame, inane fare
Still I managed to get it through Congress
The court may now say it was pointless
Two, three, four
Please don’t give us anymore
Chorus:
She has an itsy bitsy
Teenie weenie
Brain inside her little beanie
And she uses it infrequently
An itsy, bitsy
Teenie weenie brain
We get the heebie jeebies
Whenever Nancy's in our company
Nancy:
Some will tell you that my voice sounds too shrill
But House members have followed me still
Yet we have an election upcoming
From my muse all my members are running
Final Chorus:
From the Congress to her home state
From California to the streets
Of San Francisco you will find her
Oh so sad to lose her seat
I wait in all the crummy
little barrooms of the soul.
I look about and sniff the air,
drink, and wait.
In the demi-world of honky-tonks,
which vie against night's
inner gloom, beneath mantles
of thick smoke, pinches,
slurred speech and propositions,
I leer drunkenly about,
swimming in the haze
of my heebie-jeebies.
I wait.
After the smoke clears away
and the honky-tonk tones die,
when the scraggy light of the
morning after spreads, mustily,
across the floor,
I wait.
After the hangover,
after the aching head, glazed eyes,
belches, and specks
which move around my head in circles,
I see a different sort of light:
A flatter sort.
In the sordidness,
ergo filthy waxy sawdust on the floor,
I have seen a conjuration
which I sought.
But soon it disappears
and will not come again.
Illusion slips from mind
with lifting drunkenness
and break of sensibility
and pain creeps in which
is not merely physical.
Oh well.
I must try again tomorrow night.
There will always be another night.
Each book in my library must be read, each one, each and every one,
vagrant, homeless papers must find a forever home, I must
edit, amend, revise, reword and condense a poem-
Rattled, I search for my keys, oh collywobbles!
Yearning for tranquility instead of this constant dither and tizzy, and
daunting days of jitters, willies, shivers and heebie-jeebies,
and my heart in a knot of anxiety!
Yes, I have days of cliffhanging moments!
Inside my soul, I just want to dilly-dally,
silent, I want to make each day count, but
apprehension and anticipation always keep me on tenderhooks.
Consternation, worry and anxiety, creep, creeping, and
like an unsettled butterfly, I flutter befuddled.
Inside my soul, I just want to lollygag!
Fearful, I face each new day undaunted, taking
first one step, then another and on and on and on . . .
hoping my distress is unseen and undetected.
And I step off the cliff that is my life each morning, oh
no one can escape some anxious days, of
go here, go there, get this and get that, oh collywobbles!
Edit, amend, revise, reword, and condense a poem, but really,
really I love my crazy, hectic, unpredictable, anxious life!
_______________________
February 24, 2017
Poetry/Acrostic/Everyday is a Cliffhanger
Copyright Protected, ID 17- 879-893-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Well I'll be a monkeys uncle
If that old King Kong
And the lizard Godzilla
Did not one day fall in love
It was the wildest looking of all affairs
One of the strangest scenes
With all of that burly bristley hair
Mixed with all that slimy green
They both met on the corner
In The Big Apple downtown
Amid all the screaming heebie jeebies
Of people running around
Between the two of course you knew
It would be love at first sight
And what love story isn't tragic
Without a few squished passersby...
The faucets are dripping
I get so nervous that I can’t stop shaking
It’s like a cold steel dream
I know you can’t stop it
But it’s the mechanical thing
That scares me.
Drip, drip, drip
Is it really that bad
To bring people into my house
I doubt it
But I can’t stand it any longer
Some thick-legged boy will tell me
It was nothing but a pressure valve.
“Really?” I say.
“Ah yea usually takes two days.
By then you got real troubles.”
What kind of troubles is he talking about?
Cancer, the kututra, the heebie-jeebies?
I simply can’t take it.
He slides under the sink
Mumbles something about a saw
And some plumbers tape
Fifteen minutes later I owe him $143.00.
Now that is some kind of tape.
I may be all wet, but I sure ain't no bluenose!
And, while it's none of my beeswax,
Let's have a bull session-lesson !
Take a gander around, and tell the guy with the cheaters
I'll give him an ear-full, if he'll just hang around
There's a gatecrasher here..., I heard, on the level
He's zozzled on hooch, a big lollygagger!
He staggered in blotto, with a ciggy on his lips
Sipping on bootleg, and lookin' for whoopee!
He's the fall guy, (I've heard), for a weird, double cross
Here comes the hoofer, the one with the gams
That vamp is a pushover, a gun- moll, man chaser
A real hotsy-totsy!, she dresses real spiffy
Her toy is a shiv, she's the Jane, Real McCoy,
makes a sap out of guys, who carry a torch
Bumps them off, on their own front porch !
And that's the "Big Cheese", who runs the speakeasy
He thinks he's high hat, but is full of baloney
He gives all the dames, the real "heebie-jeebies"
Just a poor drug-store cowboy... filled with nothin' but hooey
Hard-boiled. they come, gold-diggers and hoods
I've been beating my gums, and I'm dying of thirst
This is the berries, been the real bees knees!
Oh, it has been swell, while chewing the fat!
But, facts are the facts, on the up and up
Well, bye, Buttercup,......the jig is up
I'm serious Sam, in a serious jam
The truth of the matter is, that I'm on the lam
You don't know for nothin', stay out of a pickle !...
Remember my friend, don't take wooden nickels !!
______________________________________________________
For Deb's Contest: Talk The Talk, Walk The Walk (1920's Slang)
6/14/15
Mostly, she had the heebie jeebies, peaking at early risers
Outside, morning was muted with its first faint flush
Right before bristled being, allure of dawn shook her
Noah's voice and patriarchs of old floated by
Imagine those coils; Delilah had come to nip
Night looked on, swelled with pride remorse would rise
God of heaven and earth knew Minerva could be healed.
Nothing moves miraculously as the Almighty
Once she could hear her own obsequy; such living dead
Out on paths of ruin, Minerva ran and ran
Noon's scorcher, and blizzard, and torrents knew she'd show.
Night was of rain and song; of mind cruise to Caribbean hometown
Ideally, one sky light, alone time, and quietude was craved
God of her mother spoke nothing into something
Head lights once broken, beamed, then glowed
That spring; the new millennium sprung fresh light, water, air, and fire.
*
Two things you don't want 9.1.15
If I appeared slightly under the weather
or if he just wanted a little fun,
my dad would ask if I had
the cholerie morbus*.
If not that
maybe the heebie jeebies.
Neither sounded like
a real ailment.
I thought he'd conjured up
the maladies – "Oh, Daddy."
Do you suppose he knew?
Had he read that President Zachary Taylor
died suddenly of cholera morbus in 1850.
Maybe he picked the term 'heebie jeebies'
from the 1926 Louis Armstrong song of the same title.
We'll never know.
After he asked I felt better
He made my little bouts brief.
I think my dad, the finest of men,
simply enjoyed the sound of 'cholerie morbus'
and 'heebie jeebies'.
He loved to gently tease and was full of good humor.
*My dad always said "cholerie morbus", not "cholera morbus", which is "acute gastroenteritis occurring in summer and autumn and marked by severe cramps, diarrhea, and vomiting. No longer in scientific use." Sounds too awful for him to have known what it was.
When it comes down to it all
I'd rather be a dog
Laying in the shade all day
With nothing going on
When I want fun I'll bark and run
Chase a ball to kingdom come
Lick anyone that comes along
Mess on the floor and then play dumb
Thought about this more than some
I'd rather be a dog
My favorite pastime all day long
Gnawing on a bone
If I get bored I'll scratch myself
Being fed by someone else
With table scraps I'll gladly help
With no sane reason I'll madly yelp
If I should ever get the call
I'd rather be a dog
Short or skinny, fat or tall
I'd rather be a dog
I'd bark if I need to go out
Sniff here and there then there about
Dig up every last inch of ground
Go heebie jeebies at the slightest sound
I've thought about this long and tall
I'd rather be a dog
Never would I be a cat
As if that's a choice at all
Hare Krishna's
In their Pickups
Depressed Comics
Down on their Luck
Teenage Girls
Screaming Meme's
Commie Pinko's
Leftward Leaning
Vincent Price
Flo and Eddie
Rodger Rabbit
Priscilla Presley
Nuns in Habits
Dwarf's in Ponchos
Deadbeat Dads
Munching Nachos
Right-Wing Nut Jobs
Trading Slogans
A few Hero's
Including Hogan
Are just a few of the sights you see
At the front gates of Graceland
Memphis, Tennessee
Buddhist Monks
With Electric Banjos
Holding Signs Up
Of Marlon Brando
Taxi Cabs
Blaring Show Tunes
Pregnant Women
Down-loading Soon
Derby Jockeys
Flying Monkeys
Kool-Aidholics
Skittle Junkies
Bozo The Clown
Bumper Stickers
Psychedelic
Crazed Toad Lickers
Rhinestone Cowboys
In their Skivvies
Gothic Girls
Heebie Jeebies
Are just a few of the sights you see
At the front gates of Graceland
Memphis, Tennessee
Blue Haired Granny's
In pink Moo Moos
Ballerina's In
Tattered Tutus
Mathematician's
Number Crunchers
Even have Some
Out to Lunchers
Model 50's
Do Wop Daddies
One More Round Of
Flo and Eddie
People Sneaking
Across the Border
Lonely Fry Cooks
Taking Orders
A Few Wannabes
Not Saying Much
Will The Real Elvis
Please Stand Up
Are just a few of the sights you see
At the front gates of Graceland
Memphis, Tennessee
Thank you...Thank you very Much
Ladies and Gentlemen
Elvis...Has Left The Building
I am drowning!
Deep in the main!
Chocked!
I am hardly breathing!
Am I dying?
Or in a blithe
Of ecstatic oblivion
Hey! There is pain!
Something……I can’t explain
May be a painless pain
As if honey bees stinging
But just honey! No agony!!
Heebie-jeebies running
As if I am stolen
I’m hunting; hurtling
For contour of my own
Craving; raving
Frantic trying
To feel my soul in
My palms palpitating
Yes! I am drowning
In your love-ocean!!!
My neighbor's orange pumpkin patch
seems so spooky and 'very scary' from my veranda.
A black cat cardboard cutout 'will still' give me a thrill
if provocatively poised perfectly still.
Kids love movies; oft dressing up as Rambo
or Robin Hood, complete with a gun or bow and arrow.
Halloween is a 'fright night' celebration for any age,
and bogeyman costumes are all the rage,
but if they give me the heebie-jeebies, I won't let them in.
(Verse)
09/03/2022
The A's Have It Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Joseph May
#Hashtag
Did your seriously just hashtag a hashtag
Is something like that even allowed
People will be tripping over themselves
You really know how to rile up a crowd
Your bringing all that is known to the tipping point
What's left of what's sane to the brink
Turning civilization onto its head
Before you tried this stunt, did you stop to think
That you would be creating a mob of angry villagers
Digging out their pitchforks and their torches
Stirring the posse into a frenzy
Before they've even mounted the horses
Or that this fiasco would upset the apple cart
Spilling its contents all over the floor
Cause an epidemic of heebie jeebies
Perhaps even the war of all wars
I'm not sure when you hashtaged the hashtag
You were aware of what it might do
Is it to late to take it all back
Otherwise I believe we're all screwed
#Hashtag
Remembering those l-o-n-g train rides in the late 1950's early 1960's; back then we had to be tagged and sit at the front of the train. We were filled with excitement, eagerness, anticipation along with a little agitation...
Look out two little nappy headed ***** girls among all those strangers...
Way to Grandma's
No one to tell us what to do, just total strangers looking and whispering to themselves, were are those little girls parents...
Way to Grandma's
We dare not take a nap, afraid we would miss something. God forbid we miss our stop just the thought gave us the heebie-jeebies...
It was a nightmare just going from one compartment of the train to another only to use the restroom back then called, if I remember called the bathroom...
Way to Grandma's
Almost there full of smiles, laughing & screaming at the same time...
Oh!! Nana, Granny, Grandma Lillian, Ninnie pronounced (knee-knee), Grannie, Big Momma... most popular - Grandma
We made it...
Way to Grandma's
Deborah Vines 5/9/2019
The heebie-jeebies came by to play.
I promptly shooed them straight away.
Come on they said as they jiggled and jived.
But my long-awaited guest had just arrived.
Hey! What is happening? She asked with pure happy.
It’s the heebie-jeebies, kind of fun and sappy.
I recognize them now! She said as she began to dance.
We have them back home in England, Spain and France.
We danced down the sidewalk, onto the round moon.
We boogied so hard, my chest began to quake and swoon.
Heebie-jeebies said “Hey, folks, let’s go to Saturn!”
We shimmy shook; a pretty sweet dancing pattern.
Another dancer asked, “Are we limited to one universe now?”
Heebie-jeebies said “Come. You’ll think this is a wow!”
We jiggled our keisters all the way to another galaxy.
This is how dynamically persuasive Heebie-Jeebies can be!