Best Gourmand Poems
"Mother’s Milk"
I don’t know -
what would you have me say?
Life is a gourmand perfume
rolling along on the notes of air
intoxicating musk a jubilee
music you breathe and reign in
words lactonic heaven scent
stimulating the beginning and the end
in synaesthesia the let-down presents
succulent life, a moment brief and swift
a hint of warm peppered cinnamon
with gunshot sparks recalcitrant pink
a straight shot from the heady accord first off
hard points from mother’s breast rouge the plot
we drink it all in
life is the sweetest illusion
bittersweet and burnt bent
we are all drunk to it;
before we begin,
we begin again,
we are swallowed large
into this small life
like an unknown mystery
karmic charms chime in
fragrant and in fragrant notes
recalcitrant journeys
roads less taken
sweet and bitter almonds
we hear the distant bells chime
we sign off reluctantly
to only begin it all again
Candide Diderot. ‘25
While ambling down the boulevard,
I spied a swanky canopy.
As member of the avant-garde,
The classy bistro suited me.
When greeted by the maitre'd,
I nonchalantly said, "Just one."
He smiled and nodded graciously.
My gourmand venture had begun.
As soon as seated, promptly pounced
A waiter dressed in gray and pink.
"My name is Jacques," the man announced
And asked what I prefer to drink.
I ordered an aperitif
And proffered menu then perused.
In panic mode, I thought, "Good grief!
It's all in French. I'm so confused!"
When Jacques returned, with easy air,
I asked what he would recommend.
When he'd advised the bill of fare,
My gaze did then the room attend.
A masterpiece of elegance,
So understated and refined.
No chandeliers nor opulence,
Artistic taste and chic combined.
Came appetizers, quite a few,
And tiny salads, each unique.
With wines and cheeses right on cue,
'Twas gourmet dining at its peak.
For entrees there were perfect meats
With succulence beyond compare.
Then followed some exotic sweets
And coffee quite extraordinaire.
While savoring a fine cigar,
I said their chef deserved to win,
For haute cuisine the best by far,
Another star from Michelin.
When mammoth check was given me,
I calmly said I could not pay.
"Though penniless, you must agree
You've gained a customer today."
Was booted roughly out the door
With expletives obscene and rude.
In gutter prone, a vow I swore
That for assault I'd have them sued.
I did, however, leave a tip
On seventh race next afternoon.
That Jacques should into savings dip
And bet it all on Silver Spoon.
Villanelle: French Gourmand once sailed to the Isle of Ewe
Dedicated to the great French actor, Off Course!
French Gourmand once sailed to the Isle of Ewe
Must you invite high breeds to the Hebrides
To maggis shellfish wine said: I love you!
Starved Loch Ness Monster kept well out of view
For this Gourmet eats even monster breeds
French Gourmand once sailed to the Isle of Ewe
Medieval monarchs gulped innerns – rest threw
To the serfs lords ladies dogs and hybrids
To maggis shellfish wine said: I love you!
French Gourmand let Scots talk their tartans through
Venison loins he carved out for his needs
French Gourmand once sailed to the Isle of Ewe
Goths Visigoths Vikings Normans or Dieu*
Falstaff nose and paunch hide much actor’s deeds
To maggis shellfish wine said: I love you!
Eiffel Tower Louvre Versailles nothing new
Mountain Man kept apart Scylla Charibdis
French Gourmand once sailed to the Isle of Ewe
To maggis shellfish wine said: I love you!
• Dieu: God, but French pronunciation, please!
He might take exception.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2015
When Little Miss Muffet
first visited buffets,
she’d choose simple entrees,
cottage cheese
Until one day in line
a grand gourmand spied her.
He advised some cider
and egg foo young.
Now I'm the frightened one;
ev'ry night of the week
new gourmet food they seek.
They're off the grid.
Heard they ran away to
far-off Cambodia
where fried tarantula
are tasty treats.
Louisiana Cajuns
Eatin' hot cornbread,
Chompin' aligator tail
And suckin' crawfish heads.
Eatin' jambalaya
And gumbo stew:
Gourmand, Sunday dinner,
On the old bayou.
I loathe shucking clothes,
(no matter eyes severely myopic)
in preparation for here goes
another warm shower quickly
relaxing this senescent
body ready to doze
soon after lathering
this blubbery body
most unwanted fat grows
on me, no matter healthy diet
of worms, or how I stand,
not so easy add a pose
zing losing battle – Mary Jo's
if and geeze us of bulge ill flattering
particularly quiverly, sans white
"WALL" tire tread fully goes
steely belted around lower
abdominal area like lava floes
siring unsightly expose
yore squishy Jew dish priestly
punchy,plasma paunchy, gristly...
pillow like marshmallows
fittingly, rotundly soundly
identical with other schlep
tin (tin tabulation) grungy hobos,
this lap pissed lard (lord) Who Lee
bemoaning, how ilk readily knows,
where unwanted bulky flab...
most detested - hence Corp Yule Lance
leaves noth thin to noblesse oblige,
know bull eats obese,
anorexia nervosa or chance
barking out orders reminiscent, when he
hapt tubby a caller at
weekly square and/or contra dance,
now requisitioned to insulate
and excessively enhance
body electric can be mushed
into likeness of fleshy France
or repurposed into expanse
resembling any country,
whose name Kants
be easily pronounced, and historical
events glommed together recognizable
as Ataturk with a lance
bequeathed to rule World advance
sing gluttony as his divine providence,
thus requires deep dish allegiance
(non - fiber - binding contract)
for eats and make decadent
every fleshpot gourmand
stretching cellular skein to capacitance
bestowing guaranteed deliverance
with their rolling
ballooning massive circumference
into orbit with Earthly moon officiant
eternal fondue irrelevance!
Arise O sons of the Shining stars!
Arise and speed like your fish-like cars.
Tan your sorrows and pains with ease
And sway in delight like your Sakura trees.
Arise O sons of the shining stars!
Thorns' scratches on elephant are but minor scars
Send your technology-eyed-gods to work
Let them unfold their talents to move the technological clock
Arise O land of the shining stars!
You are the prime existence of worthy technology dreamers
Your scions stun the world with series of technological perfections
Toyota, Yamaha and Honda are just lovely kids in actions
Arise O land of the shining stars!
Tourists' eyes lost in gourmand stares
Of your ancient beauties lurked in Matsushuma bay
Where blue water, craggy rocks and twisted Pine trees drip ancient wisdom to people of today
For Debbie Guzzi's contest:"Tribute to Japan"
Marie's recipes finger-licking, why
poor Raymond lived dangerously close by
Deborah sure not expert
pretty disgruntled Robert
gourmand Dad happily gulped the whole pie!
March 31, 2022
Inspired by TV show: Everybody Loves Raymond
Lines 1,2,3 - 10 syllables, Lines 3, 4 - 7 syllables
For "On A Lim" Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Joseph May
FIRST PLACE
Gourmand - TET
Sight
Smells Good
Tastes good too
Let me touch it
My four senses all like the beef jerky
My fifth sense hears the complaints of my choice
What do I care
it's sole food
old shoes
choose
Tetractys This Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Charles Messina
April 25, 2019
In a world beyond Almighty's plan
Abode of cursed Magdalena's clan
Felicity and benisons barely fall
Debauchery is employment's call
Carnality's for sale at market of sin
Angels bargaining joy with Satan's kin
Bartering flesh in the name of pence
To satiate needs 'ven at their expence
Two boars prepare for a sodomy rite
Pederasty and lust in a putrid site
Carnivores at the neon-lighted house
Making love without solemn vows
Not long born souls on Demon's hand
Given to lecher, a price for Gourmand
Barbies and bairn at Brothel's den
Molded to become Fornicator's hen
Attorney General William
Barr black marker in hand
kept promise to censor vital
details of Mueller Report
swift as Usain Bolt candidly,
grandly, lustrously, roundly
youthfully blocked out more
rapid than an elegant eland
vibrantly, regally, magically,
and gracefully skirts borderland
which favored topography
constitutes grassland or woodland,
far more pleasing to observe,
than reading adulterated brand
of aforementioned compilation,
distillation, edification, fortification
zeroing questionable activity
upon head of trumpeting brigand,
whose arrivistic, bombastic, caustic,
demonic, electric broadband
outsize ego still convinces
me, thee commander in chief
delegated one or more chargehand
perhaps while delighting as
gourmand savoring chateaubriand,
where his best buddies imagined
themselves in seventh heaven cloudland
every so often taking siesta sans repast
or golfing with grisly handicapped clubhand
non verbally communicating,
in viz sub bully taking a peas zing
cues from presidential high command,
which coterie (i.e. den of thieves)
manipulated social media with nefarious,
insidious, deleterious, et cetera
analogous to "FAKE" contraband,
maybe even milking innocent cowhand
unwittingly planting GMO electronic
bugs amidst future bovine fodder cropland
to allow, enable, and jackknife demand
that moost every eligible voter tricked
induced by virtual reality dreamland
with sinister motive for thee "Apprentice"
rule his kingdom, and expand,
realm asper Medieval days
declaring himself chieftain of fatherland
and/ or North American motherland
where naysayers guillotined
by uncontested firebrand,
who without provocation
very likely bomb into Stone Age
formerly edenic, lush, verdant
geography into flatland
rendered hostile, poisonous and uninhabitable
nonetheless radiating for miles with gangland
forced labor tilling barren, desolate, fissured
landscape erecting unsightly grand
standing room only (cause he know Shylock)
terrain (reign) vast highland
manor as poobah, and husband
to his only heiress, the former
a kooky monster from foggy bottom marshland.
I do not like asparagus
That rooty shooty plant
And you won't really care, I guess
About this silly rant
Its stems are pulpy, woody-like
Its tips have tiny spades
That look for all the world, to me,
Like mini hand grenades.
I've tried to cook it many ways
And give it proper lovin'
I've boiled and steamed and creamed and braised
And shrunk it in the oven.
My daddy used to buy it canned
And put it on his toast
I fancied him a true gourmand
And to my friends I'd boast
But, now that I'm a very cook
(I've tried each recipe)
I've tasted all, and by the book,
But it gives me smelly pee.
The aardvark is a quirky beast,
Uniquely dentalated,
And to the armadillo gastronomically related.
He dines on termites, ants, and such,
Most any bug his tongue can touch,
On fruits and veggies, not so much,
Unless he's running low on Vitamin C…
Or needs to be re-regulated.
Time Is Never Enough
Sunset must be time
chores may surcease
For the day's grime
to clean or release.
Industry has a knack
to outdo surcease
Workers back to back
daily bask in grease.
Time is not enough!
**
Time is never enough
to preach and achieve
Puller of sin's plough
to free and to believe.
Time is never enough
to work and succeed
To earn enough dough
and abandon greed.
Time is never enough
Friendship to find
Grudge to openly bluff
Hate to leave behind.
Time is never enough
Child to rightly raise
To fear Sin and the Rod
God to vaunt or praise.
Time is never enough
to love my own mother
Fully and not by half,
Not disdain or smother.
Time is never enough
books to buy and read,
Quaff all the crafty stuff
Wisdom to fill my head.
Time is never enough
to learn cultures new
To enjoy and to laugh
at Life's amazing clue!
Time is never enough
though not a gourmand
To taste every foodstuff;
drinks and every brand.
**
I need enough time
enough time to travel
immerse in a new clime
intricacies to unravel.
...Time to understand
meaning of Life's time
That, whilst at hand
why not enjoy its clime!
Endow me, therefore,
with time and space
To search and explore
Life and Nature's face.
For, Time is not enough
to waste its time
But, what is enough
is time to "use" its time!
30th Sept' 2013
Doomed are the meek and weak as they seek
simply not hard enough trying to feed and succeed
Money and glory does not grow on trees and
there only is hope when the forests are savaged
You cannot eat money but bulk aids digestion
and sloth unhappily impedes instant gratification
Instead lust for more there can never be enough of
a good thing so try bigger higher faster and accumulate
The new God and Goddess does not reward humility
modesty is never exposed when love replaces sex and
six heavenly virtues in this sense are truly quite enough
Set targets and drive performance to new heights
don’t forget to be envious because it allows motivation
No place to resent jealousy for desire inspires incentives
Covet everywhere and every when it must be yours
crave fancy and multiply because whatever is present
should be out there and in there right where it counts
Without competition markets won’t prosper and reap
Implement plenty of anger for it aids to shift blame
It helps to lay judgement and charges scathing critique
Take pride in your achievements because it propels
further effort whereas merely taking stock breeds stagnation
And last but not least in the wonderful feast remember
that gluttony is a misnomer for well executed consumption and glory
If all else fails redefine your taste be courageous and indulge
A true gourmand experiences with novel ideas and adventures
Eat the bastards skin them alive dissect their lean bodies
human flesh is quite exquisite fatten them up if you must
Whether they die in self-righteously imposed famines
sow your luxurious garments in sweat shops and factories
sift through rubbish and scraps they are meant to expire and
never too soon in an ethical quest to replenish your needs
Overpopulation will cease to exist and you are doing a
wonderful service to humankind and most of all to yourself
So get going and don’t be a lazy indolent and apathetic sloth
26th October 2018
Inspired by the song Doomed by Perfect Circle