Best Gooses Poems
A novice goose farmer named Sanders,
Once wrote for advice from Ann Landers.
He'd encountered a block
To increasing his flock:
He didn't know gooses from ganders.
Welcome to the "Wheel of Misfortune"
With your host, “Dirty Clothes” Pat
And dear sweet “Hole In Her Gowns” Vanna
You could lose your fortune like that
Players contribute ten grand of their own
The one with the most money loses
Ain't easy giving all incorrect answers
Ya feel like a bunch of silly gooses
First contestant is the one that goes last
Are you following, it can be a bit confusing
Audience get baffled, some leave in a huff
A few were even caught snoozing
Where's all this leading, I haven't a clue
Really feels like I've lost my control
Maybe I'll just gracefully fade to black
And crawl back in my wee cubbyhole
© Jack Ellison 2015
LITTLE PAINS
At point of striding forth
A red slash!
From nowhere
Unprepared by dissolution
What wasn’t is suddenly thrust in from nowhere
Think addition
What wasn’t now added to the pixie brotherhood
Yet knowing their traveling propensities
Their being before long elsewhere gone
One strides on
Just little pains
Little old gooses
Little pains urging awareness
Dave Austin
A musing Mary, quite stationary
sitting with her laptop so still
thinks of limo cars, Broadway stars
and her dream house on the hill
Jill and Jack laid in their sack
wondering about Mary on their hill
making hay about "will she stay?"
tip their bucket to make it spill
Georgie Porgie and the water supply
got fresh with Mary, then up and went dry
and the big bad wolf ate Grandma away
George as the wolf, sang Broadway cabaret
Little Miss Muffet and Little Jack Horner
hawked wares on a New York street corner
pies, curds and whey, discounted all day
and Little Muffet did, a magic trick play
friends Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee
hired a blind mouse to make it three
sang sidewalk duets, with the mouse rapping
shoes clicking softly and tiny cane tapping
Old Mother Goose, a Times Square recluse
did Father Gander's paycheck squander
on baubles and bling and trivial things
why she needed all that stuff I wonder
Ol' King Cole, his kingdom in a hole
decided to further leverage his coffers
with bonds of junk and dollars that shrunk
he's in Cayman Islands awaiting better offers
ganders and gooses are on the looses
and Ol' Cole and Mary and Jill and Jack
are off on a vacation and won't come back
still common rhymes hafta work over time
© Goode Guy 2011-10-10
Let’s hurry!
Fall in love and fly—
Fiery, fearlessly h’gh!
As the gooses pair,
There, over the cloud—
Flying very high,
Singing in skies’ language,
Songs, surely—love songs,
On their way
To the golden grass’, argent twigs’ nest,
In the Great Himalaya’s heights—
Is permanent snow and ice.
I went along hunting, feeling pretty loose,
I heard a shot , saw my friend yep, he hit a goose.
I didn't see to where it fell or where it came to rest,
Until I heard this loud thunk , something hit my chest.
I didn't know what happened but felt like something lacked,
And suddenly to my surprise everything went black.
I woke up in the hospital the doctor had a smile,
Then everyone in the room laughed for quite a while.
Confusion set into my head I didn't have a clue,
What they thought was funny or what it had to do.
With why I was in here and what happened to me,
I couldn't get an answer they wouldn't let it be.
Then suddenly there was a pain that came from on my chest,
I finally figured out where that darn goose came to rest..
Now everytime I hear, a loud and sudden sound,
I don;t know,why but I find,my body on the ground..
I can't control what happens I suddenly just drop,
So if I found that darn goose I'll give him a big pop!
This is a true story that happened to my brother in law, Well all except giving him a pop
we all know that darn goose is dead
Frozen window a blackboard to write on
a motivational boost
Smelling romantic moonlight
can be a two-part problem - or shared enjoyment
Sliding down the hill in an open suitcase
reindeer in fur coats - the merchant's profit
The bathing season is already ended
scientists cast doubt on the health effects of ice bathing
The frozen untuned strings of the soul
I'm considering buying a piano
You don't need professional education
look - the gooses track in the snow
Wet lips, juicy tangerines
garlic and ginger in a bread bag
In the Advent calendar's windows
soft velvet hearts and twin cherries
Avoid this year's cold - recommend
a splash of whiskey morning, noon and night
seven blind gooses
touched blind elephant saying:
unlike seven trees
A papoose with a twin is papooses,
Double goose and get geese, but not gooses.
Pluralizing perplexes me,
Aggravates me, and vexes me,
And I suspect that it checks my creative juices.
Gary the Gander was a big silly goose
Who wanted to wander if he could get loose
From confines of the barnyard where he had been born.
He had layers of lard just from dining on corn.
Farmer Bruce was his keeper and treated him well
But Gary had ambitions and wanted to tell
Tall tales to the members of his goosey tribe
Of how he visited bars and learned to imbibe.
His wings were too weak for to carry his weight,
So Gary the Gander was resigned to wait
Until someone carelessly opened the gate
And neglected to close it until ‘twas too late.
Gary the Gander was glad for the chance
To turkey trot off to his very first dance.
A dandy type gander treated Gary quite mean
And told him with emphasis he’d best leave the scene.
A mama goose with lorgnette, looked down her long beak
And decided poor Gary was some kind of freak.
He thought of his sweet little gooses at home
And vowed from his barnyard he’d never more roam.
He thought it was time for him to skedaddle
And so back to his homestead he started to waddle.
Farmer Bruce found him wandering there on the road
And gave him a ride back to his sweet abode.
Now Gary surrounded by a gaggle of geese
Tells tall tales of adventure, his adorers to please.
At cock crow
Lady and Mr. Y, turned seventy
They googled themselves;
The wind whistled past
And exposed the gooses back
They felt the wrinkles
On their temple,
The rings around their eyes
And the tires around their waistline;
They threw caution to the wind,
Damned God's wisdom;
Rejected and refused the notion
That every product
Has a manufacture and expiration date
Like Adam and Eve,
They rebelled and went
On a rehabilitation and refurbishing spree:
First, was a tummy tuck, Liposuction,
Rhinoplasty and facelift,
Then,
Necklift, browlift, chinlift, breastlift
And facial rejuvenation.....
For a while,
They shortchanged nature
As a snake shells it's outer layer
But,
Could not cheat death
When it came knocking.
My poem was about innocent hearts
not purloined, perfumed farts
'Twas about forever lingering kisses
not everlasting, beer-induced pisses
Verses extoling glaciers' sheer grandeur
no excretions of gooses or ganders
Lines conjuring up treasured memories
nothing about S&M or pederasty
'Course, publishers rejected it out of hand
~ nothing to stimulate readers' trash glands
Expressionless faces from nondescript places
Each to work races to go through their paces
Mothers on day trips with Garrys and Tracys
Hope to avoid unexpected disgraces
Packed in like sardines which happens routinely
Keep a hair’s breadth apart, else it’s unseemly
A man who’s expression says ‘thinking obscenely’
Presses up close, just a little too keenly
Did I feel a hand where a hand shouldn’t be
I don’t mean my arm and I don’t mean my knee
If Mr Obscene one more time gooses me
I’ll give that old pervert a lobotomy
I’ve thought it before and I’ll think it again
This daily commute renders good folk insane
Will I get a medal if I inflict pain
On those who bring prams on a rush hour train?
The Moose Family
(Marvin & Matilda}
Marvin was trotting along in the deep of the woods
Alone so he could hunt for food for wife and son as he stood
Reaching his destination he waited for his mate Matilda
Veracious he was in evading the many hunters like fella
Instantly he caught sight of his loving wife Matilda
Now his eyes are plenty happy for Jr. Marvin Woodya
Matilda was slowly trotting to her son Marvin Jr.
Allowing for her little one to catch up like a small warrior
Trotting together was the three- some family of moose
Into the wilderness of open fields like wild feathered gooses
Leaving a trail for all the weathered hunters out there
Delving deeper and deeper in the forest way out there
All the family of the moose evaded the weathered hunters quite fair.
Grace to the feet that frees
the nose that sniffs
and the eyes that sees.
Banquet, is it?
Bet the foods are free
Trust, they come in three;
Chocolate cakes, fresh of the fresh
Crumb breads, hot from the crest
Golden gooses, gift from Dante's inferno.
A step at a time;
I will have my seat
have my fill
and before I have my leave
I will ask,
'whose party is it'?