Best Goofed Poems
The Body Electric
Oh those lovely vibrant auric hues
emanating energy from the etheric body,
from the power of the spinning wheels,
each chakra our passionate souls relay
through unseen radiant colors
vibrating at higher frequencies than
our eyes can detect in an aura of
colored lights that shares our emotions,
our thoughts, spiritual, and physical wellbeing.
Each color transponds to our body's
seven chakras of red from the root,
orange from the sacral, yellow from the navel,
green from our heart chakra, blue from our throat,
and indigo from our third eye, lastly purple/white
from our crown chakra a special camera can capture.
Our visual, audial and tactile sensations
transform our aura colors instantly.
Peaceful and melodic music will convert
colors to a calming blue hue. Upbeat music
will transform to hues of red and yellows.
Love vibrates in orange and reds or deep pink.
If you want a rainbow of colors to gift you with
total balance view a peaceful scene,
watch a good movie, read inspiring poetry,
listen to beautiful tunes, or take some time
to meditate, become serene...
and your aura will reflect a
kaleidoscope of colors.
We are the masters of our moods,
the creators of our colors.
1-18-20
Not for the Contest...I goofed with more than 25 lines.
My thanks to this website for the aura picture:
https://hqhealing.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/aura.jpg
Categories:
goofed, character, color, spiritual,
Form:
Free verse
Hand in hand two sprites on a magic flight
with wings of crystal glass and fairy light
they flew, inside an abstract sky of white
wing to wing, one was nimble one was bright
Wearing taffet gowns of silky swishes
they were often flourishing their wishes
blessing all with benign hugs and squishes
tiny pixies, no bigger than mom's dishes
They were sent to baby rooms and wee ones
they shone like light from fifty golden suns
but every now and then they goofed all thumbs
and landed in a cabbage patch, oh crumbs !
they flew like Peter Pan and Tinker Bell
with magic wands to cast a spell, pell-mell
they scurried this way that and then oh well
they crazed it up and then they cast a spell.
Feb 26, 2023
Sponsor Eve Roper
Contest Name Nursery Rhyme
Categories:
goofed, appreciation, fantasy,
Form:
Rhyme
Jack and our Jill
went up the hill
And there she broke her water.
She laid right down
upon the ground
and bore them both a daughter.
Poor Jack, undone,
had hoped a son;
their marriage, it was fleeting.
In deep despair,
fell down the stair,
and there his heart stopped beating.
But life goes on,
so Jill wed John;
and they too raised a daughter.
A giant mouse
broke in the house,
ate all their cheese and got her.
Off on a quest,
John was out west
to find work as a double.
You might have guessed,
Jill, sorely pressed,
addressed the rodent trouble.
She tracked him down;
he’d gone to ground
all holed up in his hidey.
With daughter there,
she must take care:
no guns, just nice and tidy.
The mouse was sly,
he near got by
but Jill knew rodents better.
And in a snap,
she set the trap:
herself, all smeared with cheddar.
As rodents come,
he wasn't dumb
but instinct overtook him.
Got on his knees
to smell that cheese;
her big knife arced and hooked him.
The mouse now dead,
her girl in bed,
scanned headlines for a story.
There right up front:
Failed Movie Stunt
the details, rather gory.
While filming Wick,
John goofed his trick,
fell head-long through the rafters.
That third time charm
raised Jill’s alarms,
stayed single ever after.
Categories:
goofed, nursery rhyme,
Form:
Rhyme
I've read and read, and read it thrice
and each and every time
I found one missed spelled word or more
Hidden in the lines
And though I proof read once again
Once again I goofed
And if I have too, once again
I'll go right through the roof
Categories:
goofed, funny, repetition, write, writing,
Form:
Rhyme
Head bald, saffron robe, leaves of old scripture
Visited disciples friend, introduced as Face Reader
Friend curious to know future
Revealed past, (disciple had briefed earlier)
Future prediction goofed, prank exposed, had Treat with laughter
Placed 7
Members Contest - Halloween Limerick Contest by John Freeman
Categories:
goofed, funnyhalloween,
Form:
Limerick
One day, I saw a very unusual thing
in a business newspaper I was perusing.
It was a brief story present on the front page.
A taxpayer considered this thing an outrage.
He was a very honest and straightforward man,
an American from the island of Saipan.
This is a territory in the Pacific;
the Marianas Islands to be specific.
He filed his Federal Income Tax return.
He did not omit anything that he would earn.
The territory was reported as “M. I.”
Some IRS agents soon caught this with their eye.
It appeared that somebody goofed up again.
He got a state income tax form from Michigan.
Categories:
goofed, funny
Form:
Rhyme
Time to Laugh
The whole world is upside down,
Need a laugh, need a clown,
The whole world is lopside crazy,
Time to stop and pick a daisy,
Everything is who said, you said,
I just want to hear good ole Mr. Ed,
He was the famous horse who could talk,
And Wilbur Post was his owner,
Mr. Ed is always good for a laugh,
The times we live in make you wish you could twitch,
Time to sit and watch the old “Bewitched”,
Endora with her powerful spells, and
Aunt Clara who goofed all her own spells up,
They are always good for a laugh or two,
Time to sit and watch the old shows,
Good ole Matlock, he could solve any crime,
And play the ukulele at the same time,
He was always good for a laugh,
And there was good ole Beaver,
Who got into so much mischief,
But it was all innocent,
And good for a laugh or two,
How I wish the world of 2015,
Could be as good and as pristine,
The way it was back then,
The world today is not good at all,
I wish somebody would stand tall,
But everyone is too afraid,
How will things ever change?
If only things could be like they once were,
But life now is all such a blur.
Celine Rose Mariotti
Categories:
goofed, funny, life,
Form:
Free verse
There once was a company that goofed
Proving they were not error proof
Then they continued to lie
Saying contingencies were tried
As ecological costs went through the roof
Categories:
goofed, history
Form:
Limerick
The Soup is playing tricks on me
Or I am losing what is left
On my grasp on reality
And WhatsHisName’s committed theft.
Time and again, I write a verse,
Submit it to a contest next,
Return to find it gone, or worse,
Imagine holes in my cortex.
I know I’ve goofed a time or two,
I might go high as three or four,
But, Soup, you’ve got a glitch in you
And it’s not one that I adore.
Abecedarian I am,
But steady at this game of late,
By double-check, careful exam
To see my poem through the gate.
On my return on the next day,
I’ll check to see if it’s still there,
And, nope, appears it’s gone away;
A real pain in the derrière.
It’s probably some kind of sign:
Eschew the contests and just write,
But is this problem only mine,
Or have you also had this fight?
Categories:
goofed, missing,
Form:
Quatrain
Crazy how your number use to be number one on my dial-log to now not being even in appearance at all.
Scrolling down our inundated text messages on my phone, tagged with dates in the past. I realized it is now thoughts redirected, attention drifted, interest shifted, memories faded, feelings dwindled, motivation daunted and all time we spent unaccounted.
We started off pretty well in a chain reaction, clinched together in ignorance of nothing that could crack nor break us. Longed for more moments beyond euphoric description, little were we aware, we were just passionately enamored of this shadow of a dream.
Kissed and snuggled, goofed and laughed, to fought and argued off numerous teases and pleases, even smiled through the pain. Now the tears all washed up in the rain. You were a part of all the things I was about, until the silence crept in and put us apart.
Words soaked up in emotions diluted with fragments of depression, too obscure for the right expression. We were utterly a product of our own insecurities... But amidst all, there was LOVE whose true measure is not the way I feel about you but the way you make me feel about myself... Where is that love now!?!
7.7.17
Categories:
goofed, absence, break up, emotions,
Form:
Free verse
I bought a brand-new colander
‘Cause mine was at its end.
I’ll bet you think that there’s an error
In the word I’ve penned.
But though I also purchased
(A coincidence, but true)
A calendar today, a fresh new
Colander was due.
The old one fell apart; I hope
The new one does the trick.
To those of you who thought I goofed,
I guess you’re not so slick!
Categories:
goofed, words,
Form:
Rhyme
It would not be such a stretch
To think that every kid
Drew pictures on an Etch-A-Sketch,
Like all my peers once did.
It was a toy that everyone
Possessed in his collection,
For it provided hours of fun
With no need for perfection.
‘Cause if you goofed, with just one shake
The screen went back to blank,
With not a trace of your mistake;
So someone we must thank:
His name was Andre; he was French,
A factory technician.
While using powders and a wrench,
He had an intuition.
He noticed particles that stuck,
By means of static charge,
To decals – what a stroke of luck!
His future was writ large.
It took some years to make the toy
And show it at a fair.
It was a hit and oh, what joy
For children everywhere.
Now Andre Cassagnes is dead
But we owe him our praise,
For Etch-A-Sketch remains a thread
Attached to childhood days.
Categories:
goofed, childhood, dedication,
Form:
Rhyme
Loyalty, Small and hard
I took it like buck shot
lodged in my heart
He left you for O.K. Tulsa I believe
You said he didn't know you that well
he didn't know you have smoked weed
But he knew you in a way
no other should know I had to find out
from a message on your cell phone
Since that day, I realized
I lived a life of Sin
GOD tell me to forgive
for the bad deeds that you did
Every awakened moment
it haunts my every thought
knowing I pushed you
into another mans arms
I raised my right hand to many times
You resulted to telling lies
We both broke our VOWS
not long after newly Wed
I abandoned you in time of need
you laid in an others bed
Now I'm drunk as BLEEP
just trying to rhyme
not long after I awoke
from a nightmare in a cry
This reality haunts me
every moment of the day
I'm forever in search
of things to give me strength
before ICU I saw the light to heavens door
With jittering of teeth I felt the fiery floor
All in all I wouldn't change a thing
even though you removed you diamond ring
I seek only answers, Stop trying to save face
I'm beginning to think you are pocketing an Ace of Spades
to my demise I have to summarize
be both eft off and really goofed
I have told you my side
and in the end
All I seek is Truth
Categories:
goofed, death, dedication, depression, imagination,
Form:
ABC
When the Cro-Magnan’s sat down to eat their fare,
The master screamed, and went on a tear.
Grunting, ‘Woman you goofed,
Coz on this saber tooth,
I bit through one of your yard long gross hairs!’
She yelled, ‘That’s what you get when being fed,
After dragging me around by my head.
So enough is enough
And I’m getting tough.’
He quipped, ‘Yeah, just like the food on this spread.’
Although words from both of them sounded brave,
She truly thought of him as a low knave.
And he was amiss
Aiming for a kiss,
Coz on that night he slept out of the cave.
Categories:
goofed, food, fun, history,
Form:
Limerick
I'm not wild about Harry.
Since he has lost the plot,
Whinging and moaning
And gossiping a lot.
He thinks he is hard done by
And everyone is unfair
To this spoilt prince
With the flaming red hair
His hair is not the only thing that flames.
He has a bad temper too,
He makes trouble and complains
Because he has nothing else to do
He thinks he is special,
And entitled in every way
Everyone should bow down to him
And agree with what he says.
Perhaps we would listen,
If what he says is true
But what has become his truth
Become lies to me and you
He was very privileged.
A Prince among men
You have goofed it, Harry
You will have to think again.
Categories:
goofed, 10th grade,
Form:
Rhyme