Best Funnyhalloween Poems
On Halloween night I will strut
Dressed like Jabba the Hut
Many sweets I will eat
As it is trick or treat
And double the size of my butt
THAT NIGHT ... THE FRIGHT ..
PREPARED ... BE SCARED ...
BROOM STICKS ... OLD TRICKS ...
DARK STREETS ... FOR TREATS ...
STRANGE LOOKS ... WEIRD SPOOKS ...
SKINNED BONES .. LOUD GROANS ...
NO RULES ... FOR GHOULS ...
HAIRY ... SCARY .....
Inspired for the Halloween footle show !!
And a Halloween Limerick to finish +++
The scariest ghoul ever seen
Was a little man , dressed in bright green .
Frightening each one he meets
With his weird trick or treats .
He is Irish ... Mister Hal O'Ween .
For Halloween I want to be a wicked witch
With nothing but evil sewed in every stitch
Give the kids lots of candy how awesome
Then I'll scare the pants right off them
And just hope I don't wake up in a ditch
FOR HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST
Head bald, saffron robe, leaves of old scripture
Visited disciples friend, introduced as Face Reader
Friend curious to know future
Revealed past, (disciple had briefed earlier)
Future prediction goofed, prank exposed, had Treat with laughter
Placed 7
Members Contest - Halloween Limerick Contest by John Freeman
The ice-cream store sign read, “Unique Sensation!”
A tantalizing twist in a strange combination.
What were they thinking creating that dish?
An eerie concoction of black licorice.
It sounded like such an intriguing new taste.
Vanilla cream mixed with a black swirling paste.
Soon after devouring my delectable cone,
I flashed a big smile, and the damage was shown.
The customers cringed at the horrible sight,
as if I were haunting their Halloween night.
I looked in the mirror at the dark hefty toll,
inside of my mouth had become black as coal.
It looked pretty bad, I couldn’t deny,
as if I were poisoned by black liquid dye.
I often consider why that flavor didn’t last,
why it dropped from the list so incredibly fast.
Perhaps all the screams, or the outspoken cries.
Perhaps from the laughter in onlookers eyes.
But, likely it was, when the workday was done,
they counted the sales, which totaled just one.
Should it ever return, that flavor so fine,
you know I’ll be back to be first-one-in-line.
Until then I’m satisfied simply to dream,
of that flavor called Licorice Voodoo ice-cream.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Licorice Voodoo is the first poem-story I ever wrote. It is based on an experience as a kid,
when my Mom used to take me to get licorice ice-cream that no one else liked. I still look for
it, ... have never see it again.
I'm off to find me something sweet
A yummy, juicy Halloween treat
I've learned to follow my nose
No matter where it goes
My feet might smell, but smell with my feet?
I'll trick or treat and finish my task
While wearing a scary Halloween mask
The scariest of them all
No! not my mother-in-law
I'll tell you now before you can ask
If candy were money I would be rich
I'll satisfy my Halloween itch
And that thing I said before?
I can't stand it anymore
My mother-in-law, is truly a witch
three wicked moons ago, we flew to a halloween get-away
on the beach island frilled with dangling bouquets.” no
costumes , please”, the invitation loudly read.. so off i went,
the brood still washing their heads… in simple sundress, my eyes
kept singing la-la-la. the hall was empty, freaky lights went off. in a flick,
witches were brewing black, fangy cats... a lady gaga
spiking screams, then came a judas hanging on a centipede tree,
by the false door, tattooed skeletons dancing squeaky reggae.
suffocating in a terrorized room, i hollered,” where’s my family!!”
what a viciously naughty night! they were all dressed in
ghostly ghoul and goblin witchery, tickling my almost bare body
just behind me… oh well, it’s october’s time to slay the night
and i was the pawn, the surprised victim, crackling with nervous delight
( for paula swanson's halloween of years past)
There's a party going on upstairs,
your invited, to come and have a scare.
H.G. Wells, will meet you at the gate,
costumes required, hurry don't be late.
Vincent Price will be tonights D.J.
Halloween is his favorite Holiday.
He's spinning "Thriller", while dressed up as "Kiss".
Watching Claude Rains do the "Transylvania Twist".
Steve McQueen came dressed up as the "Blob",
he's serving up the zombie shish-ka-bobs.
Elsa Lanchester placed real bats within her hair.
While Marty Feldom keeps yelling "Frau Blucher".
At the stroke of the witching hour,
St. Peter amps up all the power.
A disco ball drops down from a cloud.
Out on the dance floor, forms a massive crowd.
Michael Jackson then leads them all in dance,
while Lon Chaney and Karloff take their chance,
to join the angels in harmony,
While "Monster Mash" is sang by Lugosi.
Even the Devil made it through the door.
He's the one sporting an Elvis pompadour.
So much fun is had by one and all,
at Heavens Annual Halloween Ball
For Heaven Hustle
By: Tony Brooks
I knew an old woman
Who flew round the Moon
Wore a tall pointed hat
And rode on a broom
She dressed all in black
Wore arrow-tipped shoes
Had a nose like a hook
Smelled always of booze
The kids on my block
And kids there were many
Thought her eccentric
Called her "Dear Granny"
One Halloween night
I remember the year
She counselled me "Boy
They've plenty to fear
I love little kids
Little kids are life's breath
But on All Saint's Night
I love them to DEATH"!
When I heard her words
I ran like the wind
Yelling! Telling
My friends to stay in!
"You've heard of a witch
Who flies round the Moon
Wears a tall pointed hat
And rides on a broom
Is dressed all in black
Wears arrow-tipped shoes
Has a nose like a hook
Smells always of booze?
It's GRANNY DEAR GRANNY!
I'm talking about
She's flying tonight
So all WATCH OUT!"
Dancing and prancing around and around.
They came in droves to Halloween town.
Laughing and joking they all came to sing.
and all brought a handbell that each one would ring.
This is the ghoul's club and we all belong.
Said one little ghoul who looked like King Kong!
Cemeteries North, South, East and West we've flown from tonight
Just to be a part of this horrible plight.
We've all come long ways to sing our favorite song.
And the way we all feel, we can do no wrong!
Each has their handbell to ring different notes.
But when we start singing, we sound like froggies that croaks.
Your ears will tingle with each woeful sound.
As we go a flying on the Merry-Go-Round.
What shall we sing and which bells will we ring?
This is the question that the ghoul club did bring.
The concert had started when the caskets arrived.
Each ghoul was startled at the little surprise.
They clammered and hurried to find the right one.
He could lay down in and have him some fun.
The ghoul club started howling like banshees in the night.
Of course that's what they were, so don't be afright.
They ended the concert and got ready to leave.
Each one in their casket in traffic did weave!
There once was a naughty girl from L.A.
On Halloween she put on a display
She got dressed as a cell phone
Her push buttons made men groan
And she led many men far astray.
I wake in a rage!
A poacher has dared step foot in this,
my City. It is just not done.
The fool.
I will....extract....him tonight.
Are we that many, that we cannot stay at home?
He may be a rogue. If he is, all the better.
They tend to put up a fight.
I will toy with him. This rogue. This interloper.
Give him a small chance.
In the end I will kill him of course.
I will simply behead him.
Not such a hard task. But it is rather grisly.
Oh well. Off I go.
Now, just what does one wear to a messy beheading?
~Lord Kellington
This is the second installment from the Diary of Lord Kellington
and my Halloween offering for Oct. 14th
Its that time of the year again
When the devil will his throne regain
The heavenly garden of Eden
Where nothing is forbidden
The Celtic Druids begin their rituals
By the sacrifice of crops and animals
Angels dressed in their Halloween best
Around the bonfire rest
Christ in lamb’s attire
Is seen beside the fire
Forgiving the sins of others
Blessing all those followers
The fairies play trick or treat
With Greek deities on the street
Its that time of the year again
When the devil will his throne regain
At OCHSA, in poetry class today
a dead body lay on the floor
and hungry starved commercial dancers
came in to feast.
Crunching on the toe nail chips
drinking in the eyeballs
feasting on the spaghetti and meatball hair
slipping on the soup of tongue.
Ripping at the flesh
like carnivorous dinosaurs of old
feasting on fallen herbivores
nummy, slurp, gulp.
I walked in on the middle of this fray
only bones were left,
aww, poor people
We really shouldn't feed the lions
but maybe commercial dancers are the exception!
a/n: this was written for a Halloween contest at OCHSA but they told us no zombies and ect
so this is what happened! Yes commercial dancers can be scary when they are hungry enough!