Best Get Laid Poems

Now, I am not a huge man

I'm not large by any means

In fact it is surprising

I still wear normal jeans

My pants don't have elastics

I still use normal towels

But, my BMI stats tell me

I'm a word that has three vowels.

It started just this morning

When I got...

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Mary Ann had a boyfriend that she 
gave affection and great loyalty.
Since the age of sixteen
no one else had she seen
but she wanted more at thirty-three!

Her boyfriend, of course, had it made
since regularly, he would get laid.
So excuses he gave
when Mary Ann would rave
about marriage....

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She's a diner girl
A trucker's fantasy
A little bit tough
While being sexy

Sure she likes to flirt
A tool of her trade
She has them dreaming
Thinking they'll get laid

The tips all add up
For dreams of her own
When her shift's over
She goes home alone

You think you know her
She plays the...

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There once was a pirate named Slade,
had a crush on Jade the mermaid.
Asked her out on a date,
thought this love was his fate...
turned out she was there to get laid!



8-8-6-6-8 syllable count: howmanysyllables.com

April 7, 2019
Pirate Themed Limerick Poetry Contest
Tania Kitchin...

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Huxley was in his nineteenth year,
a freshman at a fancy school,
the kind with excesses of ivy,
who claimed they accepted no fools.

The academics were no task,
he’d always excelled with his mind,
but finding like souls to fit in with
was giving him a much harder time.

There were so...

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It's wrong to deny what your heart desires
If it's right, set your hormones on fire
No need to fight the temptation
Let out all of your sexual frustration
Don't hold back, let your imagination loose
Take your wild side for a cruise
If it is right for you at the...

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White is the landscape as far as I can see.
Ice is the brook that is in close proximity.
Nights are much longer than the days.
Toward the south is the bird that no longer stays.
Everyone is aware of the time of the season.
Roosting is indoors, and the...

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It was you from the moment I seen you.
I knew in my heart I would be the one to rescue you, but in the end you ended up saving me.
I see in your eyes the pain that lingered inside.
From your past relationships your pride was...

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Find babe
Get laid





....

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Men strive to be the 
Best providers for their families
But it's a tough job when
There's many mouths to feed
Men are good role models
And excellent father figures
You younger ones will Know
What I mean when you get bigger
Yhey all carry their pride so high
But you can see...

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A typically depressing inky dark night 
He sat at the corner waiting for the light
His mind as usual not fully engaged
His pounding psyche had him enraged
As if on cue she opened the door plopping into the seat
Who the hell is this he’s about to meet	
He...

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-Sentimentality can blind a man to the truth.Those who appear the most trustworthy deserve 
the most suspicion. So check on those we trust (Trust But Check).

The people closest to us cause the most pain
When emotions are dry they expose us to more rain
They say trust...

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It began with a hit
Problems were solved
Then you couldn't get lit
And addiction evolved

Your body craved more
The smoke couldn't handle
Now covered in sores
Too common a scandal  

You recall the time
Needles were bad
But now, every nine
They soften your sad

Mascara smothers 
droopy eyes
Whispers from others
Ignite your cries...

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when life give you lemons you make lemonade
when life gives you a job its time to get paid
when life gives you women you'll surely get laid
but obsess over all this you'll end up a slave

see no evil hear no evil speak no evil please 
just...

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	Unquotable quotes – VII

What comes in through one ear goes out through the rear.
Give him a wench and, he’ll want her to be French.
Give him an inch and he’ll take no small pinch.
Better be swallowed by a whale than be torn to shreds by a...

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