Best For Fun Poems
Women wore corsets
Men trundled round
Magical mushrooms
grew out of the ground
Everyone terrified
Of the dragon breathing fire
The far fetched stories
The jolly town cryer
Always so happy
Nobody knows why
It was the magical mushrooms
Everyone was high
WHO SOURED THE SOUP?
blog trolls
blowholes
bloggers
cloggers
daft clown
sad frown
a nerd
absurd
intense
pretense
Miss Putz
she's nuts
old goose
obtuse
one jerk
does lurk
sick dude
so rude
soup pun
such fun
March 20, 2017
Jan's Footles Contest
A woman walks into a coffee shop,
sits at the counter.
Right next to her is a gentleman
reading his newspaper.
His face buried in his daily
without looking
he reaches out
takes one finger
from her Kit Kat bar.
She can't believe what she just saw.
Clearly angry
she rustles the foil on her bar
as she herself takes a finger to eat.
A few seconds past
Once again the gentleman
takes another finger
of the now infamous chocolate bar.
Now the woman is furious
she grabs his Newspaper
out of his hands
throws it on the counter.
She then grabs
a piece of his doughnut
dunks it in his coffee
eats it and walks out.
The man is clearly in shock and confused
but says nothing.
He orders another donut and coffee
returns to reading his paper.
Meanwhile the woman heads to
and gets to her car.
She opens the car
Now you can see it all on her face
redder than a Kit Kat wrapper.
Sitting in plain view
on the passenger seat
quiet and unassuming
is her Kit Kat Chocolate bar.
Poor man
and he was so polite about it all.
Maurice Yvonne
19~10~2014
This write is inspired from an idea
I recently had for a Kit Kat commercial.
You will never see it in a poetry book
but hopefully you enjoyed it.
Maurice Yvonne
19~10~2014
These are just for fun...I am trying my hand at them!
DROMEDARY'S NAIL POLISH
camel enamel
SMALL UNSENTIMENTAL HORSE
stony pony
WILD DOG LANGUAGE
dingo lingo
INEBRIATED POLECAT
drunk skunk
HOG'S MUSIC PLAY DATE
pig gig
SPICY WILDCAT
peppered leopard
FELINE HEAD WEAR
cat hat
OUTSTANDING MARSUPIAL
awesome possum
Winning contests pleases folk;
Losing makes ‘em shrug.
Write a lot and go for broke;
Get that writing bug.
Try new forms and have a blast;
Enter, have a ball.
Nothing wrong with coming last;
Laugh about it all.
for Joe’s I just can’t win contest
Using the 7/5 trochee, a form created by Andrea
An awful aardvark ate anchovies against all advice.
Besides belching beyond belief, he bit bitter banana boats.
Charlie Chimp cackled curiously, convinced
Delicious delectable desserts did damage.
Enormous energy engaged enthusiastic excitement
Frenzied friendly felines, forever forgiving
Greasy giraffes giving grievous gripes
Horsey happiness hiding hurt amongst hilarity.
Ignoring idiocy involved ignorantly,
Jumping jack-a-lopes jiggled
Kangaroo kindness keeping
Leisurely lions laughing
Merriment mesmerized monkey marines
Never notorious, nevertheless, nefarious
Octopus ostracized owls, ostentatiously,
Preventing Porcupines putting prickles precariously in patrons.
Quietly and quickly
Resuscitating rescued rabbits
Savagely sustaining simple seriousness
Totally terrorized
Underneath unique
Verbose velocity
Which worried
‘xtra ‘xtraneous
Zipping, zaggy, zebras.
WISH COLLECTOR
To the collector of wishes
I wish you well
Perhaps you’ve lost mine
within your pail
To the collector of wishes
Please recheck
Perhaps its still there
Within its depths
To the collector of wishes
My hopes are slim
Perhaps some new stars
Are much too dim
To the collector of wishes
I’ll wish anew
Perhaps maybe this time
It won’t go askew
To the collector of wishes
I wish you well
Perhaps this new wish
Will find your pail
© Debra Squyres 10/02/2019
A poem for fun
I laugh delightedly
Because they all are
A poem cannot be
Anything else
Because patrons are gone
No one pays for poems
Poems are thoughts
Turned onto paper
By people who
Know how to turn
Their brains
Inside out
Poets
Not easily admitting it
due to the
Abject lack
Of appreciation
And respect
My besties
My tribe
I love you so.
> >
> > A RECIPE FOR FUN
> > Author: Dennis Howe
> > February 2001
> >
> > Take ten
> > seasoned ball players and throw
> > in a large pinch of leather and aluminum.
> > Put the mix on a dirt field in the shape of a diamond
> > and add some green salad grass for color. To this, add
> > another ten seasoned ball players with a large pinch of leather
> > and aluminum. Raise the heat slowly to about 80 degrees, with a
> > few clouds for partial shade. No mud. Slight breeze, but no wind.
> > Add two pitchers of medium grit. Marinade some team spirit and
> > sportsmanship. Dice some Twinkies, sunflower seeds and chewing
> > gum. Sprinkle with water and soda pop to taste. With a white ball,
> > at game time, stir all these ingredients together with grounders,
> > foul balls, fly balls, base hits and home runs, and garnish with a
> > strike-out or two. Do not add sliding. Sugar, sweat, and verbal
> > spices can be chopped in at this point. Scoring is to taste and
> > recorded for future reference. Pour these flavored items
> > in to a large softball bowl, and then separate into
> > individual servings on Saturdays at Clark Park.
> > Finish with a handshake, pat on the
> > back, and a hearty..............
> > "see ya next week"
> >
> > The ASU Intra-University Softball League thanks "Chef" Dennis Howe for his
> > role in organizing, supporting and participating in this League since 1987.
Redneck Car
my redneck car is no junk
eight cylinders, what a hunk
beer cans over the floor
to enter there’s no door
the back seat is sometimes my bunk
2/18/2016
Poetry Contest: LIMERICK CONTEST II - FOR FUN
Sponsored by: JAN ALLISON
Oh the grand old duke of York
He had ten thousand men
Wasn't that promiscuous
Even way back then .
They say in Salt lake city
A guy can have lots of wives
but then I think John Wayne Bobbitt
and imagine those wives with carving knives.
Casanova had many lovers
Or so I've heard it said
but who slept in the wet patch
When they were in bed .
Rasputin had a reputation
Of being a randy Russian monk
They say he had a turnstile
Fitted to his bunk .
Me I don't ask for many
I'd settle just for one
because tonight I'm feeling frisky
and I'm in the mood for fun .
I'm doing a little highland dancing
and I've gone commando under my kilt
I lay down my claymore
Then dance around the hilt .
but I slipped and did the splits
Now I'm only slightly built .
Dah, Dah, Twiddly , Dah
Twiddly Twiddly Dee
Let go of your sporran
and come and dance with me .
You have to go commando
and expose your hairy knee's
Belts off Troosers down
Let your bits dangle in the breeze
Ignore the flashing blue lights
Tell the police men to sod off
I'll come and visit you in prison
The next time I have another day off.
Dah , Dah , Twiddly , Dah
Twiddly , Twiddly , Dee
Let go of your sporran
and come and dance with me.
She says I sulk a lot
What a terrible thing to say
I would blow my top but I'd better not
I just won't talk to her today.
She claims I'm going goo goo
and I need to see a shrink
Just because when she was on the loo
I had a pee in the kitchen sink.
She says sometimes I am giddy
and I really get on her wick
My underpants are skiddy
and my smelly socks make her sick .
She says we are not playing hide and seek
and our love making has gone to pot
I must be happy to get it once a week
and I'm to stop saying , I'm coming ready or not .
On the days when we are kissing
We both wear a lovely smile
We realise what we've been missing
and I know she makes my life worthwhile.
I've been reading a lot of fantastic love poems about love that burns brightly after forty years and so on ,
This is my hopefully funny version of that.
She invited me into her lavender bath
I'm a ships captain and feeling quite daft
Though I was feeling absurd
I took her at her word
You should see where I moored my craft
With three suitors she could take her pick
The stress and worry was making her sick
She only knew she must marry
Quickly she dumped Tom and Harry
She knew she could not live without Dick.
There was a young lady named Mary
Her huge butt was terribly scarey
She went on a new diet
But please don’t you try it
As its now pert but terribly hairy
26th June 2014
Written by Jan Allison & Darren Watson
Can't think of anything right now that will rhyme,
So i am just going to write for the heck of it.
Sorry for nothing interesting today,
I actually have nothing to say at all, sorry readers.