Best Footles Poems
Hot sun
What fun
Soft sand
How grand
Blue sea
For me
High tide
Surf side
Beach babe
In shade
Undress
Top less
No finds
Tan lines
Swim suit…
pursuit
He sports
Tight shorts
Romance?
No chance
Jan Allison
Casarah Nance
1st December 2014
Andrea D?...No brainer:
Dandy
Andie
Or in her younger, wilder days she may have been:
Randy
Andie?
(Just kidding! Just kid...Ouch!)
I have no choice but to categorize several poems by my mentor as:
Guzzi's
Doozies
(Now don't YOU start on me Deb!)
Ms. Macmillan's writing style is quite modern so here-to-forth she is:
Trendy
Cyndi
(You're not gonna' hit me too are you Cyndi?)
It is rumored that Mr. O is a care-free soul so some might name him:
Groovin'
Ruben
And be sure to keep up with current South African events in the:
Suzette
Gazette
A Christmas poem composed by Carol Brown could be a:
Carol
Carol
Writer's block PD? No sweat!...Just a temporary case of:
Souper
Stupor
Okay, that's enough...
Always Prepared
Ready
Freddy
The Untamed
Feral
Ferril
What’s in Frankie’s Pockets?
Frankie’s
hankies
Patriotic Guy
Yankee
Frankie
Of the highest Quality
Fraser’s
razors
Small Eater
Grazer
Frazer
The Warlock
Pagan
Fagin
The Brilliant One
Star Glow
Fargo
Something’s About to Happen to Him
Herald
Gerald
Poet
The bard
Gerard
The Mimic
Parrot
Garret
Who Needs Pudding and Pie
Georgie
Porgie
Good Grief!
Lordy,
Gordy!
Best Things in his Garden
Gerrett’s
carrots
The Stoic
Steely
Greeley
What People Always Say to Him
Really,
Greeley?
The Generous One
Sharin’
Garen
Thrill Seeker
Gnarly
Harley
So Angry
Snarly
Harley
Embittered
Soured
Howard
Not Brave at All
Coward
Howard
What’s in Henny’s pocket
Henny’s
Pennies
The Pest
Vermin
Herman
What Herman Gives Each Sunday
Herman’s
sermons
Why Can’t He Just Stay Home?
Roamer
Homer
Better Than Ice Cream
Sherbet
Herbert
Get Him Band-aids
Howie’s
Owies
Nonsensical
Phooey
Huey
Always Amazed
Wowie
Howie
The Overly Sentimental One
Gooey
Huey
Fungus Solarium
mushroom
sun room
Give them Voting Rights
Shallots’
Ballots
To Crush it!
Shallot
mallet
Flooded Veggie
Spinach
in ditch
Romantic Invitation
Meet me,
Sweet pea
Don’t Let it Into Salad
Hard chard
is barred
Scarred for Life
The chard
was marred
Sweet-potato Grazers
Two lambs
chew yams
Stink Weed
Garlic
Charlock
Hello, Red Fellow
I greet
my beet
Overweight Terrier:
Porky
Yorkie
Un-cool Terrier:
Dorky
Yorkie
Spaniel dog breeder:
Cocker
Stocker
Parrot who mimics a Spaniel's bark:
Cocker
Mocker
Book on how to care for Cockers:
Spaniel
Manuel
Originally from England, a well-rounded Spaniel stays in shape by playing:
Cocker
Soccer
Then showers and dresses by its:
Cocker
Locker
Dachshund headgear:
Weenie
Beenie
Grouchy Dachshund:
Meany
Weenie
Proportionally, male Dachshunds have:
Teenie
Weenies
(But size isn't everything)
Dachshund making critcal life choices:
Eenie
Weenie...
Lassie was a level-headed dog and never engaged in:
Collie
Folly
Reared in a loving environnment, she was a rather:
Jolly
Collie
Bred in the capitol city of NC, making her a:
Raleigh
Collie
To commemorate her frequent (and often rowdy) visits to N.O. a streetcar was renamed the:
Collie
Trolley
Snoopy immigrated to the States but alas, was found not to be a:
Legal
Beagle
Thus he was deported back to England but was promptly knighted by the Queen becoming a:
Regal
Beagle
Now a celebrity, he even had an entourage of nubile young female beagles named:
Snoopy's
Groupies
Eventually, he met his soul mate, married her in Westminster Abbey and it is rumored that they engaged in numerous and somewhat kinky sessions of:
Snoopy
Whoopie
Deceased
Released
Goodbye
I cry
Church pew
Hurts you
My bum
Now numb
No droppin*
The coffin!
4th March 2015
Written before dad’s funeral - I'll take my cushion to sit on lol
* not proper footle but I had to add it!
An oddly-shaped Thanksgiving bird:
quirky
turkey
What we call Grandma's mashed potatoes:
dreamy
creamy
How she adds volume to the main side dish:
fluffing
stuffing
What I always do first:
eat Gram's
sweet yams
Grandpa always slices the Thanksgiving turkey:
Harvest
carvist
Dad always brings a former Monkee's recipe:
Davey's
gravies
Aunt Natasha brings her vegan side dish:
Tash's
squashes
...as does cousin Reginald:
Reggie's
veggies
health-conscious Uncle Theodore is happy:
Ted eats
red beets
Cousin Jeannie brings her specialty:
teen Jean's
green beans
rustic Vern brings gourds from his farm:
bumpkin's
pumpkins
Great Aunt Esther sings an ode to the delicious greens:
salad
ballad
we all love her aesthetically arranged grains:
wild rice
styled nice
Brother Andrew provides chocolates for dessert:
Andy's
candies
Mom is always the last to finish eating:
savors
flavors
What I have after eating too much:
gummi
tummy
Written 20 November 2022
Trees clear.
Falls here.
Docs pills
Cure ills.
Dim glow
Wick low.
Turn key
Lock free.
Mist cloud
Grey shroud.
Big weir
Stay clear.
Wasp sting
Red ring.
Sad clown
Big frown.
UHU
Strong glue.
Grape vine's
Makes wines.
Weddings
Gold rings.
Slow dance
Romance.
Long kiss
Pure bliss.
Small plate
Lose weight.
Fire drills
Test skills.
Written 2nd September 2020.
New Year
Drinks Beer
Gets drunk
Heads clunk
Drink over
Hangover
Feels sick
Loo quick!
Is ill
Needs Pill
To bed
Sore head
Morning
Dawning
Feels sad
Looks bad
Want drink…
Rethink!
1st January 2015
Bad gifts
Cause rifts
Be rash
Spend cash
Debit
Credit
Worthwhile
Their smile
20th December 2014
FOOTLES FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BEASTS -
Bad-ass old bear:
Grizzly
Grizzly
Dachshund making critical life choices:
Eenie
Weenie...
Cougar from Arizona:
Yuma
Puma
Cowardly Cock-a-Doodle-Doer:
Chicken
Chicken
Slave Driving Beaver:
Dam it
Damn it!
Aptly named female feathered friend:
Robin
Robin
Alaska poacher gets mauled by a:
Polar's
Molars
Overweight Terrier:
Porky
Yorkie
Scavenger Mores:
Vulture
Culture
After sex, bears often share a:
Yogi
Stogie
Neutered Tomcat:
Benign
Feline
Wolf in Sheep’s clothing:
Mutton
Glutton
Proportionally, male Dachshunds have:
Teenie
Weenies
(But size isn't everything)
.........................................
RANDOM AND RATHER REDICULOUS FOOTLES -
Overweight law enforcement official:
Whopper
Copper
Overweight Janitor:
Whopper
Mopper
Spaced-out church officer:
Freekin’
Deacon
Church officer forced to depend on Depends:
Leakin'
Deacon
Unhappy restaurant client:
Diner
Whiner
Cosa Nostra restaurant special:
Mobster
Lobster
Yep, you guessed it. A criminal Crustacean:
Lobster
Mobster
Why did she slap me? All I did was:
Toot her
Hooter
Careless Urologist:
Pecker
Wrecker
Sweet tooth
In youth
On scales
She WAILS!
Hot date
Lose weight
Diet?
Try it
Big eyes
Large thighs
Fat tum
Huge bum
Gobbles…
Wobbles
In mood
For food
Crunchies
Munchies
Wants choc -
Whole block!
Adore
Fridge door
Keeps shut
With butt
Risk it ...
Biscuit
Crispbread?
Drop dead!
Think thin
As pin
Eats less ...
New dress
Now slim
And trim
Look great
For date
04~05~15
Contest Judy Konos - Your Footle Poem
~awarded 1st place~
Tiddles didn’t like his new tinned tea
Fussy
Pussy
Angry Animal
Shows claws
From paws
Self catering cat
Catch mice
Tastes nice
Caught in the rain
Soggy
Moggy
Time for a sneaky sleep
Cat nap
On lap
Contented cat
Purry
Furry
March of the Footles Contest Sponsor Timothy Hicks
03~04~16
I Love my Mother in law.
Phone rings
Ear stings
Door knocks
Nerve shocks
Come in
Large gin
Be nice
Head lice
Hair gel
Strong smell
Stale wee
Flows free
Stand here
My dear
Trap door
what for
Goodbye
Large sigh
In jail
Good tale.
20/03/2017.
Fabulous fun footles competition.
Sponsored by Jan Allison
WHO SOURED THE SOUP?
blog trolls
blowholes
bloggers
cloggers
daft clown
sad frown
a nerd
absurd
intense
pretense
Miss Putz
she's nuts
old goose
obtuse
one jerk
does lurk
sick dude
so rude
soup pun
such fun
March 20, 2017
Jan's Footles Contest