Best Flush It Poems
What’s In The Urn
Strangers offered me to join them in a drink
I met them on a mountain edge while skiing
They seemed like friendly normal people then
So what could happen in a simple cabin?
Finding that which is not there or vanquished
What is there that cannot be perceived?
Placed upon the mantel piece are ashes in the cabin
Brass vase, a receptacle for lost souls sits in repose
A death vase to glare at over cognac
By the sober flames cast by
A fire place glow observed in action
Liquid spirits pour out their poison
In the cozy living room inside the cabin
Drinks alone cannot remove this feeling of distraction
The urn is piercing through my soul
People belong in cemeteries you know
With all due respect for the dead
Scatter them at sea when they‘re deceased
Not paraded around in gloom to cause unease
Or as a center piece for living rooms
I’m not relieved to find it is a lizard on the shelf
To be exact, an exotic iguana family friend entombed
And to assume that fact makes this matter optimal
I beg to differ on that point and voice my opinion later
There must be a plot of ground outside
Or toilet somewhere to flush it down
But better left unsaid, as they are bereaved about the death
And I am their invited guest
Iguana tried consuming the family’s cat
Another favorite pet I guess
It is surmised, that’s how it met its end
Wound up expired inside the urn
The receptacle was there and going nowhere on its own
I swear it follows me from room to room
By embers glow and ash, shadowing my every move
A brass smile casting off the urn, leaving me concerned
I could not take my leave
The container followed me
So I waited, fixated on the thing
Is it coming back to life to eat more bugs or me?
Finding that which is not there
Is easier in the dark
Rising to the occasion of the day that breaks
I must escape the premises to continue skiing
Into the frozen world outside I fly
With no discernible signs or paths to lead or learn
I get away, no time to say good-byes or find my way
Never again will I say; what’s in the urn
Looking up into the sky
a bird pooped in my eye
as it was flying overhead
causing me to see red
It was warm and soggy
making me feel queasy
I scurried into the house
like an upset little mouse
I headed for the kitchen sink
and got there in a blink
Using the faucet spout
I tried to flush it out
When it was expelled
it had a funny smell
and the sink water
had a dirty colour
So when a bird is flying overhead
keep your head down instead
Do not look up into the sky
or you may get poop in your eye
This poem stinks.
It doesn't rhyme
It doesn't do anything
It has a little alliteration
well...
it will have some
because that's the easiest poetic element to incorporate
and if it didn't have any poetic elements
it would not be a poem
but would be prose with
randomly
inserted
carriage returns...
(are carriage returns extinct?)
and that would be dishonest.
This is not a lying poem.
That would be oxymoronic.
It's a stinky poem.
And when I finish writing it
I'm gonna print it out
and tear it up
into little bitty
teensy weensy pieces
(if I have enough patience to get that small)
and flush it down the commode
so it can join all the other
excrementally effluential essences
(note the alliteration)
of all the other stuff that stinks
almost as badly as
this poem.
“It” is a dummy when “it” asks the time
or speaks of the weather, like when you say,
“It’s eight” or “It’s snowing.” “It” is a crime
to just ignore “it” in “It’s a nice day!”
In so many places can this “it” fit.
In “Stop it” or “Do it,” “it’s” just a prop!
But then there’s anticipatory “it,”
and here's an example: "It's fun to shop."
And here's another: “It’s good to see you.”
“What’s good,” I ask? “To see you” is good.
Reverse the sentence; flush “it” down the loo!
Folks, though, still will prefer “it” (as they should)!
A singular pronoun is “it,” but much more.
Let’s enjoy “it” and all “it” is used for!
Dec. 5, 2017
Feigned love cut you deep,
left your heart bleeding profusely
Blood red, rose-colored stains,
drip, drip, dripping trail leading out the door ...
time to mop up this mess of a relationship
Wring all the tears into the bucket,
flush it out of the system ... get clean again
Can't let hate infection set in,
your fragile heart has to mend
Stunned by the deliberate stab,
a betrayal of a lover's trust
It hurt even more
when a twist came with the thrust
No one ever told you that pain
would be a derivative of the pleasure game
In your weakened state,
delirious passions swirl in your mind
Flashing images of past sated desires ...
you moan feverishly in the night
Love withdrawal has such a narcotic bite
And time doesn't heal the wound quite properly,
you're left with scar tissue on the soul
Touch it gently with your mind,
and feel the oddest sensation ... like phantom arousal
It sickens you that you feel pleasure
from neural memories
of when your two bodies pressed together as one
It frightens you that you still have these type of feelings
for someone who merely regarded you as a sex toy
Then cast you aside,
and tried to kill your soul and steal your joy
You must face your fears;
the thing you desired so, almost was the death of you
But you lived on with a scarred soul,
and much wisdom gained:
from disfigurement, your true beauty now shines through
Darling, oh darling
It's 3 in the morning and i know how you feel
Please, let go of your phone
Flush it
Or smash it
Who cares if he ever calls?
If it was important to him, he would be an idiot to make you wait
Lay down, turn the lights off
Sweetheart,
It's killing me to sit here and hold your hair back as you vomit in attempt to empty the vodka from your body
He shouldn't be making you feel this helpless
You surely can't fix him
And drinking away your problems isn't helping either
When he finally comes running, walk...
The other way
Smile at him, and show him that he's worthless to you
I promise you darling, that will break his heart harder and quicker than you ever broke yours
Don't wreck yourself over a wreck like him
Everyone poops,
It doesn't matter if you eat salad or soup,
or if you're a fish in the sea,
We all poop and we pee.
You could be a bear in the woods,
Who poops where he should,
or the guy that only eats cheese who wishes he could.
You could be the prettiest girl,
That's ever lived on this world,
You'd still poop like the rest of us and flush it down with a swirl.
Athletes even have to go poo,
They can come first in the race but they still go number 2.
So don't feel so bad everyone does it,
Your mother, your father, your siblings, and cousins,
Everyone poops, Everyone knows that it's brown
Can you keep a secret, I'm pooping right now!
Thoughts by a Horse Owner
A farmer milks a cow for all it’s worth …but
a horse milks a farmer for all he’s worth!
Horses are an expensive proposition to say the least.
Try lavishing your love on another beast.
When you look upon a star and make a wish,
much cheaper to buy a little goldfish.
then if you can’t afford it
when your dream comes true,
just flush it down the loo.
Or if you’re into recycling, eat the little guy…
And for crying out loud,
quit wishing towards the sky!
Answer to Doris Culverhouse’s invite for a silly poem.
There you go Doris! : ) ...(but I mean it!)
heres how i see it
and heres how it is
living in this world where half of it is advanced
with indoor plumbing
television
stereos
cell phones
computers
and a huge chunk of the globe is not
part of the world still has a hole in the floor for a toilet
and we say ignorance is bliss
oh funny funny man on the moon
the joke you really meant in the Hollywood basement
of one giant step for man
and one leap for mankind
Have we not clued in yet?
Do we not live blind leading the blind?
Am i the only enlightened who realizes
that we were in space probably 70 years before we made it public to the world
and Nasa is full of it
oh funny funny funny man on the moon
why is society so gullible to think
that the governments technology hits the mainstream market
before they use it for years and perfect it and work out all the bugs
and then hands us something that just looks faulty
and we fall for it hook line and sinker
give me a moment
funny funny funny us
half the world buries their waste
and we flush it away
half the world has technology and half of it is in the stone age
and yet we seem to think
that whoever invents these things has no ties
or affiliation to putting us under their thumb
i mean come on do the math
they landed on the moon
how they tell you they send sattelites into space is a truth within alie
they made up 50 years ago
and were falling for it today
let me play
i get it
society is dumb
I'll write something yesterday
say i wrote it today
no one will know what to believe
I'll even put a cowboy hat on
I'm sure those cowboy western movies
they had just as many cameras and cellphones
but didn't release them in the market
consider yourself a fool
if you don't think they don't have something in their pocket full of tricks they are
working on right now
they're going to sell to the future
and no one gets the famous joke
the man on the moon told to the mensa geniuses
but a hush fell over the crowd
and I'm sure there was consequences for laughing
and chances are even they were blinded by the bling
life and blind leading the blind
such an easy concept to grasp
and man on the moon
your a funny funny funny man!
Just because I said 'I do'
Doesn't mean I need to stand when I want to use the loo
If its brown flush it down, so the experts say
But if you stand to use the loo please leave the seat where it once did lay
When in a rush to use the privy
I feel like a complete divvy
When my posterior hits the porcelain
Where once a wooden seat had lain
So men when you stand up to pee
Think of others – especially me
Leave the seat where it once sat
And make sure you leave the beggar flat!
Achieved 7th place in contest run by SKAT
You may use this toilet, but please do not spoil it,
Quit being mean by keeping it clean.
Flush it with water, not with what’s meant to drink,
If you care for others you won’t let it stink,
Ensure your aim is always true,
Use the right place meant for doing what you do.
Never leave bits and pieces lying around,
Inside the potty, not made on the ground.
Others may step on it, perhaps fall and trip?
Just because you made, an uncivil slip.
Always put value on that gleaming commode,
Whether in ceramic or moulded from spode.
Inside your home it would be ever so shining,
Why leave some strangers all worked up and whining?
Paying respect to everything going in under your snout,
Also pay attention to whats coming out.
-Prince Freakasso
(Painter & Poet)
While gazing at the sky
A gnat flew in my eye
Causing me to wince in pain
Using the faucet spout
I tried to flush it out
So I could see clear again
When the gnat was dislodged
It came out very smudged
Like a soggy wet wheat grain
When next I watched the sky
A bird pooped in my eye
So I had to flush again
I must be unlucky
For what happened to me
Because it had me in pain
So when birds are on high
And there are gnats nearby
Caution I have to maintain
There's a mouse in my house
It just ran under the couch
I really hate to say it
But I don't think I can take it.
There's a mouse in my house
I'm really quite annoyed
There's some bread on the floor
It must have really enjoyed.
There's a mouse in my house
I just hit it with my shoe
It really seems quite dead now
Think I'll flush it down the loo.
Josette Key 2009
12 hour phone card...
I found one the other day
sitting there minding its own business
waiting for a phone call.
I picked it up,
he looked at me annoyed,
and I smiled at him
and he tried to bite me.
The 12th street bus to Michigan and West Chicago
pulled to the curb and the doors opened grandly
and the driver looked at me...
He spit and closed the doors
the bus hauled off,
leaving me and the 12 hour phone card in a grey cloud
of muffler snot.
I found a payphone(yes they're still around)
and I punched in the number that was on the front.
A couple beeps later a voice picked up
and seduced me,
I looked at the card
and laughed,
the voice laughed and told me to hang up.
I had no idea who that was, or what drove me to doing that,
I placed the 12 hour phone card down on top of the payphone
and walked to the next bus stop.
A bus pulled up and the doors opened grandly as I were a King.
I got on and rode to the closest stop to the Suburbs
and walked the rest of the way home.
I smoked a couple cigarettes on the way home
and my mother caught me,
she yelled at me,
I laughed and said I would quit.
I later remembered that 12 hour phone card
was for gamblers anonymous to help coop with addiction...
and I found two blocks away from the MGM Casino...
I pulled another cigarette out and lit it,
and I walked with my mind racing and there I found myself
rambling on and on about irony and metaphor
and how we all should just take one big **** on life
and flush it down the toilet we call death.
The wind is howling like a massive storm inside.
Can’t let it out, can’t hold it in.
Yes, I am fed up but don’t know how to flush it out.
Like I am entangled in the chocking ropes.
I know, it’s a difficult journey, I have to deal with it.
The fear is killing me, though I am sure I'll live it up.
I am sinking from dawn till shuddering dusk.
The result would scare me or would it be a good luck?
I turn around to see my hopeful beloved family,
Their love, their faith further scares me!
If I don’t make it! Would everything go away?
Yes, it scares…...I feel I am about to fray!
I am strolling in dark, maybe I will fall someday.
I wonder what will go away and what will stay!
Maybe I am finished, may be on cloud nine.
I worked hard; the success should be mine!
Every thing seems so lifeless and hollow.
Do you feel the vacuum around, which might swallow!
I want to be positive; I want to touch the stars.
For every dedicated student, I want to leave a mark.
I know this isn’t the end, lot more to go.
Lots of happy moments are waiting in a row!
Lots more to achieve, lots more to show.
STILL, why this heart thumps and why am I following the dark shadow!