Best Flush It Poems

What’s In The Urn

Strangers offered me to join them in a drink
I met them on a mountain edge while skiing
They seemed like friendly normal people then
So what could happen in a simple cabin?

Finding that which is not there or vanquished
What is there that cannot be...

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Looking up into the sky
a bird pooped in my eye
as it was flying overhead
causing me to see red

It was warm and soggy
making me feel queasy
I scurried into the house
like an upset little mouse

I headed for the kitchen sink
and got there in a blink
Using the faucet...

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This poem stinks.

It doesn't rhyme 
It doesn't do anything 
It has a little alliteration

well...

it will have some

because that's the easiest poetic element to incorporate 
and if it didn't have any poetic elements 
it would not be a poem 
but would be prose with 
randomly 
inserted...

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“It” is a dummy when “it” asks the time
or speaks of the weather, like when you say,
“It’s eight” or “It’s snowing.” “It” is a crime
to just ignore “it” in “It’s a nice day!”

In so many places can this “it” fit.
In “Stop it” or “Do it,”...

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Feigned love cut you deep,
left your heart bleeding profusely
Blood red, rose-colored stains,
drip, drip, dripping trail leading out the door ...
time to mop up this mess of a relationship
Wring all the tears into the bucket,
flush it out of the system ... get clean again
Can't let hate...

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Darling, oh darling
It's 3 in the morning and i know how you feel
Please, let go of your phone
Flush it
Or smash it
Who cares if he ever calls?
If it was important to him, he would be an idiot to make you wait
Lay down, turn the lights off
Sweetheart,
It's...

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Everyone poops,
It doesn't matter if you eat salad or soup,
or if you're a fish in the sea, 
We all poop and we pee.

You could be a bear in the woods,
Who poops where he should,
or the guy that only eats cheese who wishes he could.

You could...

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AN APPOINTMENT WITH DR. VIAGRA

Husband: Honey, I consulted a doctor before using this product and my ******** has lasted four or more hours so I guess I'm going to have to seek immediate medical attention
Wife: UH-UHH big boy, GET back over here
Husband: But honey, It...

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Thoughts by a Horse Owner

A farmer milks a cow for all it’s worth …but
    a horse milks a farmer for all he’s worth!

Horses are an expensive proposition to say the least.
Try lavishing your love on another beast.
When you look upon a star...

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Let’s face facts you’re a motherloving no one
couldn’t find a flow if you were looking at the ocean 
I’ll stand and deliver like I’m living in a river
Your thoughts are all flops 
like the tap drips drops

just a monkey in a mosh pit flinging your...

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heres how i see it
and heres how it is
living in this world where half of it is advanced
with indoor plumbing
television
stereos
cell phones
computers
and a huge chunk of the globe is not
part of the world still has a hole in the floor for a toilet
and we say ignorance...

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While gazing at the sky
A gnat flew in my eye
Causing me to wince in pain

Using the faucet spout
I tried to flush it out
So I could see clear again

When the gnat was dislodged
It came out very smudged
Like a soggy wet wheat grain


When next I watched the...

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Just because I said 'I do'
Doesn't mean I need to stand when I want to use the loo

If its brown flush it down, so the experts say
But if you stand to use the loo please leave the seat where it once did lay

When in a...

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You may use this toilet, but please do not spoil it,
Quit being mean by keeping it clean. 
Flush it with water, not with what’s meant to drink, 
If you care for others you won’t let it stink, 
Ensure your aim is always true, 
Use the...

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12 hour phone card...
I found one the other day
sitting there minding its own business
waiting for a phone call.
I picked it up,
he looked at me annoyed,
and I smiled at him
and he tried to bite me.
The 12th street bus to Michigan and West Chicago
pulled to the curb...

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