Best Fibber Poems
Faculty meeting. Formidably flippantly fortuitously fluffy and forgetful.
I began to write a little list of F words, because I was in the F word mood.
Frilly. Free-ha-ha. Feast. Forget-me-knots. Fallacy. Farming. Fastidious. Fun-filled.
What are you doing? A non-friend asked me. She had already broken my chain of counting when I was
Counting syllables, making me angry.
“I am writing F words,” I tell her. She looks at me with fanfare, farcically, fantastically.
I am relieved to begin anew. Now I am adding PH words, because they will go along well with my theme.
Phonetically, phenomena’s, phenol barbital, phosphate, phantom, philosophy
“You can always ask Caren.”
Uh-oh.
I look up.
Everyone is looking at me including the principal who is pleased as punch I’m taking such great notes.
I nod my head.
Feline, foamy. Form-fitting, fleshy, flesh-eating, fractions, fanfare, fishy, finished, foamy, Phillip, fixed, fixt.
Someone puts their hand on my paper.
I glare at them. “What are you doing?”
I put my finger to my lips to shush them.
Fluffy. Faerie, Fairy. Franchise. Farmer. Freshman. Frequent. Frequently.
Feminine. Farcical. Feisty. Fibber. Fibbing. French fries.
I look up.
Clock says 4:35. Time to go.
Totally un-socialized, I fly out the door, knowing the union is on my side.
You've got the kind of cleavage that I really like
A place where a man can really park his bike
With two lovely legs, tanned to perfection by the sun
Now I'm going cross eyed watching the wiggle of your bum.
Why don’t men think with their brains, not what’s in their pants
When we got down to action I wish you’d warned me in advance
I gasped when I saw your ‘dangly bits’ I couldn’t believe my eyes
I needed a magnifying glass … you told me lies about the size!
You said size didn't matter , Oh what a fibber you are
As you pushed your legs through the back windows of the car
You also said I was marvelous for the two minutes I was in
I knew I should never trust a woman who had been guzzling gin
27th August 2015
TRUMP, trying to act like a Believer
Faintly
Saintly
HILARY'S telling Persona
Libber
Fibber
CRUZ'S Second Amendment Stance
He'll fight
Gun rights
How TRUMP see's RUBIO
Small Man
Grand Stands
KASICH'S Vast Experience
He knows
What goes
How SANDER'S views Money
Free fall
For All
WATERGATE Debacle
Paper
Caper
Written on 3/4/2016
Footle Poem
12/20/21
Ten hut!
Can't let up
Even though, it can get messed up
Really F'd up
Do not get fed up
Keep your head up
Stay sharp, don't get set up
Careful where a disagreement ends up
Heads up!
Many fast to wet up
From the legs up
To the neck up
Bleeding out a color similar to Ketchup
The proof was there or quickly got swept up
Prices continually went up
Falling behind, because you never kept up
Get your bread up
Often in life you'll have to step up
Sped up
Engines revved up
Couldn't let it go, so they dredge up
Old news they spoke and penned up
But I did my homework and read up
So you're about to get shred up
You'll never surface, even after a check up
Kept mine, others went against their own word
Too late to sojourn
At the point of no return
Due to a slow burn
Often went through the wringer
You'd think I've been on Jerry Springer
She wants the whole world and a gem on her finger
Meanwhile around the corner death always lingers
Hit them with another zinger
Hook, line and sinker
As I continue to tinker
Ya'll can be some stinkers
I always put on a blinker
Soon to give up being a daily drinker
Becoming a complex thinker
Avoiding any gold diggers
Feeling vigor
It's time I'm onto something bigger
Don't need to reconsider
Even though many are quick to pull the trigger
People continuing to bicker
Remaining bitter
Known as a fibber
Caught up on twitter
It's been pleasant or gotten sicker
Going well or down the s***ter
Staying clean or full of litter
A whole nation hooked
Easily getting cooked
And forsook
They never caught on or looked
Strength, dedication and heart is what it took
Couldn't find it all from a book
Had to put each foot
Through miles of soot
By the end they were shook
Or tried to portray me as a crook
Not a big fan of dungarees
Getting tired of all this gluttony
Too much redundancy
And puppetry
Still living sucker-free
Yet another attempted to humble me
So I got the upper hand suddenly
Their soul the devil took custody
I continued on triumphantly
Cautious of who's around as company
She's just a tease
And he's such a sleaze
Try to touch my cheese
Then the trigger of a gun I squeeze
Doesn't matter if you run or freeze
Jinxed jesting jejune junior jobber...
just jabbering gibberish (A - I)
Again, another awkward ambitious
arduous attempt at alphabetically
arranging atrociously ambiguously
absolutely asinine avoidable alliteration.
Because...? Basically bonafide belching,
bobbing, bumbling, bohemian beastie boy,
bereft bummer, bleeds blasé blues, begetting
bloviated boilerplate bildungsroman,
boasting bougainvillea background.
Civil, clever clover chomping, cheap
chipper cool cutthroat clueless clodhopper,
chafed centenary, codifies communication
cryptically, challenging capable, certifiably
cheerful college coed.
Divine dapper daredevil, deft, destitute,
doddering, dorky dude, dummkopf Dagwood
descendent, dagnabbit, demands daring
dedicated doodling, dubious, dynamite,
deaf dwarf, diehard doppelganger, Doctor
Demento double, declaring depraved
daffy dis(pense)able dufus Donald Duck
derailed democracy devastatingly defunct.
Eccentric, edified English exile,
effervescent, elementary, echinoderm
eating egghead, Earthling, excretes,
etches, ejaculates, effortless exceptional
emphatic effluvium enraging eminent,
eschatologically entranced, elongated
elasmobranchii, emerald eyed Ebenezer,
effectively experiments, emulates epochal
eczema epidemic, elevating, escalating,
exaggerating enmity, enduring exhausting
emphysema.
Freed fentanyl fueled, fickle figurative
flippant fiddler, fiendishly filmy, fishy,
fluke, flamboyantly frivolous, fictitious,
felonious, fallacious, fabulously fatalistic,
flabbergasted, fettered, flustered, facile,
faceless, feckless, financially forked,
foregone, forlorn futile fulsome, freckled
feverish, foo fighting, faulty, freezing,
fleeting famously failing forecaster, flubs
"FAKE" fundamental fibber fiat, fabricating
fiery fissile fractured fios faculties.
Searching for a Lover
one that is a hugger, a laugher
one that won't make me
madder, sadder,
or even balder
one that's not
a pouter or a schemer
one that is a soother, a spooner
even a squealer
not a faker, a stalker,
or a midnight squawker
one that is a winner,
could be a singer, a hummer
even a drummer
I don't need a fibber,a downer
or even a frowner
just need one that will make me
shiver and quiver
for being a great kisser
one that I can flatter
to make her day brighter
one that I can be her anchor
her answer, her charmer
her winer and diner
her knight in shining armor
I can be her victor, her healer
one that I can give humor, laughter
even pleasure
one that I make safer,smoother
and a little softer
a girl I can meet at the alter
for i will not falter
Annabelle Gads
She is a fantastic fibber
Annabelle Gads
A fun-filled, fighter,a flirt and a felon.
Can she spend the night, Friday, please?
W T F
Let’s imagine somebody
naive as they can be.
What might they imagine when
WTF they see?
For someone on a diet
could it mean “Withhold the Fat?”
“Wash the Fridge” perhaps?
My mom would think of that!
A girl into clothing could suppose
WTF means “Wear Trendy Fashion.”
“Wear Tight Footwear” no one though
could think and have compassion.
“Wash Tired Feet” might someone think?
Or “Warm the Feet” after time in snow?
“Wrap the Fracture.” Is that done?
I’m not sure that I know!
“Warm the Furnace”? That sounds lame.
“Woo The Folks” could be
a slogan for politicians
who can’t get to ME!
“Whack the Fiend.” I like that.
And “Whack the Fibber,” but
“What‘s the fuss?” sounds better.
than “Walk the Feline”. . . . What?
“Whip the Flesh” works for sadists.
Could “Wave the Fists” sound cool?
I like “Welcome Tiny Folks”
for a nursery school.
Just a few more. How about
“Wake the Family”?
Watch the Fuel” also works
in this economy.
Finally, when I think
of N/A’s from a judge,
if I feel my poem is really good,
I murmur “What the (bleeping bleeping) Fudge.”
There is a man who had a big belly
That wobbled just like a bowl of jelly
It rocked the baby to sleep
Allowiing the wife some peace
Peace was a night on the town with Kelly.
His smile soon turned into a sulky pout
When once the wife stayed all of the night out
His vocals were obscene
Making the baby scream
The wife swore that he had no need to shout.
He tried hard but he could not believe her
He thought her a fibber and a loser
So he shed his big tum
Now he’s out having fun
Wishing he’d shed his big belly sooner.
AI is so clever, yet it often trips,
To hallucinate with fibs and skips.
But, don't get mad when it fakes and lies
For it's learned its lines from a billion flawed guys
Mere mortals in AI's fake, bit and byte, guise eyes.
Who checks up on the know-all bot in a genius disguise?
Classic Radio
I crave classic radio!
Boston Blackie and The Shadow;
Captain Midnight; Fibber Maggie and Molly;
Ace detectives fighting crime;
Or comedians making up limericks in rhyme.
Keep the TV for my husband to watch now
As I wear earphones, letting him wonder how
It is I’m laughing so much through every hour
As snarky sleuths and Groucho Marks make our
Pups wag their tails as my happy mood devours
The winter gloom that can pervade the room.
The old jokes I hear are so old they do seem new.
The shows span post-war-2 through the mid-fifties,
Before every home in America had TV’s,
So thus passed every hour by radios every night,
Waiting for suspense dramas or live boxing fights.
I was a baby in those days, hearing the Lone Ranger
On Silver riding masked into the sunset, a better
Man in an era when good differing bad was clear.
Still, it’s I who now, in this era, keeps a mask near.
You can search Classic Radio shows on the net,
For hours of escape in our chaotic days, and get
Your hands busy to do other things, for you
May exercise or write or clean or dream into
The imagination expansion power of Listening cues.
———————————————————————————————————————
c)sally Young eslinger 1/30/21
Always on the Road
Trucker
Tucker
Feed that guy
Bony
Tony
A Boy Scout Always Prepared
Ready
Teddy
He’ll Put You Away
Jailer
Taylor
At the Valentine Date Auction
Gimme
Timmy
Stay at Home Dad
Mommy
Tommy
Our Loan Shark
We owe
Tio
Swear to Him
Promise
Thomas
They Sure Need Improvement
Tanner’s
Manners
Head in the Clouds
Spacey
Tracy
Fibber
Liar
Tyler
Will you . . .
Marry
Terry?
Where is He Anyway?
John Doe
Waldo
Hey, Anyone . . .
You know
Udo?
Bon Voyage
Sail on,
Waylon
Do You . . .
Fancy
Yancy?
The Weirdo
Wiggy
Ziggy
It’s quite compelling how the felon becomes the victim expelling any responsibility or failings
just innocence sailing the calm then encountering harm that false charm preventing any lessons or altered behaviour progressively ascending confidence but cons are dense
carry on and re-enter danger circumstantial stranger explainer very unemotional point and blamer relying on superior intellectual properties to dodge accountability the impossibilities
silly little liars unpleasant deniers transparently apparent and to anyone present totally repellent
because people get found out
first round nailed it down
second round doubt found
third round knocked out
found out
no truth in your mouth
action drought
actual lout
reputation drowned
now lonely been disowned with your known true tone exposed everyone knows you’re fake you’re a fibber trying to dig out a sneaky sliver lying to strangers while you’re friendships wither and now calling yourself a forgiver acting bigger
with no one close because you’re a hoax
one of those grown up damaged blokes
savage jokes holding hope delusional loops and chapter hoops
denying you ever did anything wrong
too clever too strong
when really too weak to ever learn from
and dearly seeking but everyone’s gone
cus when truth comes through there’s nothing you can do
you could give up be honest be true but that’s too much so you stay a delude sticking to the story as if it’ll make it true how sad are you
a one dimensional lying dude who does what he does cuz he doesn’t do
the insecure ain’t pure they don’t tell it raw they invent it all ending a lonely individual
with intellectual properties lost logically a con lost of confidence in defence taking offence but never taken seriously having no friends
part 2 of 2
“How’s school going?” Annick asked later, moving some of my fly-away hair out of my face - a trace of the maternal in her solicitous fussing - but I liked it.
“Easy peasy,” I said, the lie warming me like an ember or black magic.
There’s no real sibling rivalry between us. Imagine you’re Beyoncé’s sister, what are the odds that you’ll eclipse Beyoncé? Yeah, it’s ZERO.
“Ha!” she laughs, “you are such a little fibber.”
“I am NOT,” I hotly say, but my defense is ruined by my laugh. “I’m doing ok - but it’s a lot,” I say, to erase the fib.
They’re ENGAGED!
I tried not to act stunned but I doubt I was very convincing. The news thumped me like a gust of wind. Suddenly, I knew. Our yesterdays were no more substantial than a story we’d read together growing up, that you can mourn and rejoice at the same time.
Otherwise it was a family lunch, although at first I was a bit nervous around Gerard. At one point Annick says, “What are you doing?” as the table gently quivered.
I smiled wincingly, “Making circles with my ankles,” I said.
Annick smiled knowingly.
The gardener said once I’ve chopped down this tree
Perhaps I could tidy your bush for a fee
Where the girl hit him is covered in bandage
He’s stood in the dock charged with suggestive language
The gardener issued a not guilty plea
He said she had asked me to fell a big tree
But seemed to think I couldn't cope with just me
So I told her I had a big tool she should see
The judge pointed out that misplaced sexual chatter
In these modern times is a serious matter
Besides said the judge, once the tree had been downed
She asked you to work, not just stand around
But Judge, said the gardener, I’m not a linguist
I can’t speak like you because I’m not distinguished
Besides, when she said there’s a sign she wants hanging
I only said that might mean screwing and banging
I told her that later (and I’m not a fibber)
I might sow my seed when I get out my dibber
Don’t know what possessed her to go get a copper
When I was just standing there holding my chopper
Epilogue...
The judge said I’m going to lay down the law
(A young police woman tried not to guffaw)
I’ll hand you a sentence for what you have done
The girl shouted give him a really stiff one