Size Does Matter

You've got the kind of cleavage that I really like A place where a man can really park his bike With two lovely legs, tanned to perfection by the sun Now I'm going cross eyed watching the wiggle of your bum. Why don’t men think with their brains, not what’s in their pants When we got down to action I wish you’d warned me in advance I gasped when I saw your ‘dangly bits’ I couldn’t believe my eyes I needed a magnifying glass … you told me lies about the size! You said size didn't matter , Oh what a fibber you are As you pushed your legs through the back windows of the car You also said I was marvelous for the two minutes I was in I knew I should never trust a woman who had been guzzling gin 27th August 2015
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

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Hunjeri Avatar
August 30, 2015 at 4:34 PM
Lol, you guys...i love the name Jadazzle united. It seems so jadazzle-..licious :-)
United Avatar
August 30, 2015 at 5:25 PM
I came up with the name when we first started collaborating now we really are jadazzle reunited back writing together after a year - best news of the year when Darren got back in contact with me:-) hugs Jan xx
Roper Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 8:38 PM
Naughty, Jan a 7 hugs Eve
Allison Avatar
August 29, 2015 at 1:29 AM
I'm not naughty Eve - I just follow Darren and he is a great teacher lol seriously the humour has flowed with us since day one he truly is my poetry soul mate and to be writing together again is a dream come true for us both :-) hugs Jan xx
Dietrich Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 6:15 PM
Naughty naughty, you guys are such a hoot!!
United Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 6:41 PM
You can tell Darren is back on the scene - as you know I am never usually naughty - of course Darren would disagree and say it is all me lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Y. Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 5:01 PM
Lol. This is funny:-)Alexis
United Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 5:27 PM
We had such fun when we first started writing then unfortunately Darren got ill - now a year later we are carrying on from where we left off - the words still flow without any alteration and the friendship we have continues to grow - a dream has come true for us both:-) hugs Jan xx
Romaine Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 3:42 PM
Hey Jadazzle United, stopped by for a visit. This is an amazing work of art and a most excently collaboration between the three of you. I laughed so hard tears came to my eyes. Well done! Be Blessed, Neva
United Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 4:20 PM
Thanks Neva - just the two of us writing together - Darren has been unwell for some time and only recently come back to soup writing together again after a year is simply a dream come true:-) hugs Jan xx
Andresen Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 2:33 PM
...... A mathematical size ..... it has no theory .... but maybe in practice ... :))) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
United Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 2:42 PM
LOL:-) Am so glad the jadazzle humour is flowing... there is more to come lol:-) hugs JAN XX
Pinet Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 12:55 PM
You all have fun with this piece from start to finish and it brings a smile and a chuckle to start my day. Emile.
United Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 1:01 PM
Darren and I had such fun writing before he had a break and the spark is still there a year later - humour still flows from our pens it is so so good to be writing together once again:-) hugs Jan xx
Nunez Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 12:12 PM
:-) naughty duo...
United Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 12:58 PM
Oh I never admit to which lines I write - remember I am Jan/Stan so I can write from any point of view lol:-) hugs Jan xx
United Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 12:15 PM
Oh Kim how lovely of you to drop by - as you know I am always well behaved I am never naughty! - Of course we never disclose who wrote what so I can simply say its Darren's influence on me ..... oh it is sooooo good to be writing again and for Jadazzle to be re-united :-) hugs Jan xx
Trifiatis Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 10:11 AM
Style and humor is interwoven in this fine collaboration with, Jan! Made me smile dear J.U.
United Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 10:28 AM
We have always had such fun when we write Demetrios - I have another 5 poems to post in due course - just to be writing together again really proves dreams do come true:-) Hugs Jan xx
Vaso Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 12:17 AM
LOL, my stomach hurts from laughing!
United Avatar
August 28, 2015 at 8:23 AM
Thanks Arthur we do love to raise a smile:-) Writing together really means so much to us both and Jadazzle are well and truly reunited:-) Hugs jan xx
May Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 6:07 PM
You two are a great comedy team...best wishes...
United Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 6:35 PM
Thanks Joseph - it has been a tough time for us both but we are back up and writing again after a year and the humour still flows - we have such fun writing together:-) hugs Jan xx
Smith Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 5:30 PM
lol...nothing wrong with a "little" white lie. Short and sweet : )
United Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 5:33 PM
LOL yes it was definitely short Tim lol:-) hugs Jan xx ... oh I hope Darren doesn't read my comment hee hee hee good job we have never met - we tease each other all the time which is great:-) hugs Jan xx
A   Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 4:54 PM
Then, I am happy for you :) Jan.. thank you for the reply... :)
United Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 5:10 PM
:-) hugs Jan xx
A   Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 4:40 PM
I'm just gonna say.. WOW! Jan and Derren :) LINDA
United Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 4:44 PM
LOL Linda it is so so wonderful to be writing with Darren again the humour still flows between us - this is the 4th poem we have posted since we got back together - another 5 poems are written and ready to post... Jadazzle truly are reunited:-) I don't think we could be happier:-) Hugs jan xx
Martin Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 2:43 PM
Well. . .interesting! Though naughty! Only wish that I had been there!
United Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 2:54 PM
LOL me too ... Darren and I have never met but we sure have fun when we write lol:-) hugs jan xx
Manassian Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 1:20 PM
Oh me...Oh MY! You got me with the title and kept me IN there for the whole duration of this write....Good one, you two. I'd write more, but I'm being good. Hugs
United Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 2:08 PM
ha ha ha:-) You know what I mean he is a cheeky chappie and I love him to bits lol:-) Hugs Jan xx
Manassian Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 2:05 PM
Cheekiness??? I didn't know it was his cheeks that got you upset but rather what was on the other side....oh dear. ;) Great to read you two again. Hugs
United Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 1:34 PM
Oh Eileen it is so so so good to be writing with Jadazzle humour again - you can understand why I have missed him so much as Daz is such fun to work with and our poems continue to flow without changing a word - I can blame all the cheekiness on him of course lol :-) hugs Jan xxx
Eastman Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 11:53 AM
This homorous poem was great to read. Love the ending!
United Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 11:55 AM
Thanks Carol Darren and I have SUCH fun when we write together - we share the same sense of humour - writing together again is simply a dream come true for us both:-) hugs Jan xx
Allison Avatar
August 27, 2015 at 11:25 AM
It is so so wonderful to get the jadazzle humour flowing again Daz:-) Love and hugs Jan xx
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