Best Farted Poems

The dwelling place is in lofty mountain peak,
hidden from protruding human eyes that seek.
A lonely figure the Yowie cuts,
All contact from the outside world he...

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I'm Rudolph stuck in traffic, and on this of all the nights,
and up to now my nose has matched each set of traffic lights,
the fat...

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Ted was a professional farter
and at his windy recitals he’d boast
that could even toot Moonlight Sonata
If his wife fed him baked beans on toast!

There was...

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Swim
Eat.....poop
Poop.....float
Float some more
Sigh....stare
Bubbles.....stare
Smile.....I farted
Float...

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An old codger who farted a lot -
of good etiquette didn’t know squat.
When I met him, his nose
started running. He chose
his new shirt to wipe...

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An old gal applied to join Mensa
Gee she couldn’t be any denser
She went in the wrong door
On the thirty third floor
And there she enrolled as...

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I still haven't found my Miss Right;
the girl with the cat was a fright:
she farted all day
and stank of decay,
then played with her pussy all...

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I love to fart, it stands me tall,
the raucous rumbling, belly bell,
all look around with eyes aghast,
to witness such a mighty  blast.

when before the...

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Who cut the curd cyanide cheese,
thinning out the rank suspect crowd?
Who gassed death in the air bleed,
releasing an odor murder most foul?

Follow the phew olfactory...

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When Father Ted farted in church
The Bishop (who looked just like lurch)
Said ‘say six hail Mary’s
then keep off the dairies’
I know cos I’ve done my...

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There was a man named Fred
Who liked eating baked beans in bed
One day when he farted
He and his wife parted
'Well it's quicker than divorce' Said...

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There once was a farmer called Seamus,
who had an incompetant anus.
When out on a date with girlfriend Kate,
he blamed his dog when he farted,
to prevent...

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They were gambling in front of the house.
Manservants and pages bustled about
Serving Suitors who just curse and carouse.
Few mix wine with water. I heard one...

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Please be quiet! Our class teacher said 
Pupils giggled, my face flushed bright red
I was so broken hearted
I’d just let rip and farted
That I ran...

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Nervy  quiz night fun,
I've farted so I'll finish,
Stop at nearby Gents....

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