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Porker The Stalker
I have a porker as a stalker; it keeps following me down the street
I cannot talk to my friends, as it keeps oinking when I try to speak
Doesn’t it have an owner it can go home to, and as leave me alone
Once; I tried to lock it out, but, all it did on me is squeal and moan
And, its weird habit of wearing a tutu and doing its pot belly dance
If it had been potty trained, life would have been sweet, no chance
I had enough of her nicking my bed once she farted I disowned her
I stuck posters up with a photo to see if I could find her true owner
3 months later, and still no reply I started to think along other lines
So I put her on the cover of magazines dressing her up to the nines
It wasn’t long before Porker the stalker, had become a renown star
Now; Porker the stalker owns her own limo, with its own liquor bar
Are you still sticking with it here as the tale gets even more bizarre
She met a prize pig up Ohio who played guitar and was a superstar
It wasn’t long before they got wedded, and had piglets by the score
Where; at long last, Porker the stalker, was not my stalker anymore
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