Best Dim Witted Poems
The concerned politician was running for re-election
But a very cool, steamy sex scandal he struggled to hide
He used his thick, bald head to provide some harmful protection
By taking a scholarly, dim-witted babe to be his bride
By hiding appearances this loser won the seat he sought
But the love/hate relationship with his former mate went on
Under cover, above reproach the governorship he bought
The wickedly good scheme went awry, the lover suddenly gone
In the shadows of limelight his true love would no longer stay
The powerless governor didn’t want his private life public
And his charming, boring wife soon suspected there’d been foul play
Lying alone in her separate room made her healthy heart sick
A sleazy, reputable reporter showed her photographs
Of her husband and his lover in a platonic embrace
When confronted, the governor made a fortuitous gaff
Laughing contritely, he told his wife their love he’d not debase
But well-intentioned cons have a way of gleaming through darkness
For the long-lost mate found his way to the governor’s mansion
Startled resignation on his wife’s face so expressionless
To explain he was gay led to consolidated expansion
The news was revealed, the governor was forced into hiding
For he was no longer viewed as a truthful politician
He’d not been upfront, but back down in a closet confining
And he’d risen to downfall with a concealed revelation
*For Kristin’s “Oxymoronic” contest
She curled her tail around her toes,
Covering whiskers, chin and nose.
An ear twitch here, another there;
She claimed as hers the easy chair.
Tormentor of both mole and mouse,
She spent the summer out of house.
Plundered, pillaged, night and day,
No mercy for dim witted prey.
Summer passed and then the fall,
As bitter cold left wintery pall.
The feline wanted none of that;
Once more she posed as family cat.
She lay about each day and night:
Purred when stroked and feigned delight.
Her bowl, her chair and toilet place,
Were all she claimed as sovereign space.
The season wore on long and cold.
Outside most life seemed put on hold.
The feline lay there still as dead,
Entombed within her winter bed.
Come now the spring with days of fair;
The old cat stretched within her chair.
A well placed nose near open sill;
She felt the much diminished chill.
Then rushed to door that still was closed.
Cries from her pleading throat arose.
Weaving through her mistress legs;
"Let me out," brash feline begged.
As chipmunk fed in hemlock crotch,
Unfettered cat dashed off the porch.
With one quick scramble up the tree;
A winter cat she ceased to be.
Do we not marvel at her grace,
Ere all those months confined in place?
The cat resumes with guileless ease,
Her summer reign of fields and trees.
When ceilings were cast on dreams
air thickened, swelling lungs
with unbreathable mediocrity
pen is clutched
in reluctance of dim witted judgement,
small minded skewed views,
all pushing towards
Oprah Book Club fame
under a midwestern bubble.
That trophy would shine
like the second hand cars surrounding
When ceilings were cast on dreams
a terrified scream evaded me
as lips were bit in the traditional
small town offend-me-not fashion,
my pen faultered and died...
Fear is passion disapating into lonely corners
accepting it's quiet demise
Never realizing sea breeze or sunrise
alive and never living
while calendar pages fly by abandoning
Regret is for mourning souls
past possibilities of redirection
and compromise
I break westward stepping over spilled milk
toward angular man made mountains
Now the pond fish evolution begins
as I swim in bigger waters
insignificant and loving it
feeling anonymity breed inhibition
and onward to infamy
toward my name etched in spines
and altitudes I make my own
**inspired by John Heck's "Edge" contest
Why?
Why me?
Why you?
Why do I?
Why do you?
Why now?
Why later?
Why didn’t you?
Why didn’t I?
Why didn’t you know?
Why didn’t I know?
Why did it have to be this way?
Why did it have to be that way?
Why did you stay?
Why did you go?
Why did life go this way?
Why did life go that way?
Why? Why? Why?
The tormenting word of questions
It rarely ever lets a mind rest
For the minds desire for answers is insatiable by nature.
The minds quest for discovery is unyielding and unending
For every answer found only gives birth to more questions.
No wonder madness grows taller in the thinking mind
The soil is far less fertile in the dull dim witted mind.
I penned a great poem for a contest
Glowing comments stated it should place high
When winners appeared I became distressed
I'd failed to place and released a sad sigh
I silently seethed, didn’t breathe a word,
I held back tears, eyes started to glisten
The placing by this judge was so absurd
I held my tongue as no one would listen
The sponsor had been blatantly unjust
All the winners ignored one simple rule
'Winning’ poems used words of such disgust
That judge proved to be a dim-witted fool
I’ve now completed my sour grapes sonnet
If I’m on Mark’s list, I’ll eat my bonnet!
Sour grapes Sonnet Contest
* didn't counted as 2 syllables not 1 as per how many syllables
Poem written for sour grapes contest theme and is not aimed at any particular sponsor
8/16/18
The sponsor chose words I’ve never heard of before
So if I don’t win the contest I’ll declare he’s a bore
It’s axiomatic that I’ve an altruistic attitude
But I don’t give a fig if folks think that I’m rude!
I’ll sign a declaration of my asseveration
Then bare my teeth like an angry Alsatian!
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words
Is this word some kind of cynical joke aimed at dim witted nerds!
REQUIRED WORDS axiomatic, altruistic, asseveration
Tongue firmly in cheek poem for contest
Triple A Challenge
Sponsored by Robert Haigh
4/15/18
Life…………………….
Its mysteries
Its wonders
Babies born
Everyday
Thieves
Criminals
New friends
New enemies
Adults pushing their
Dreams
Threw their
Children
Too many
gangs
Not enough people
2 b their victims
Aids, STDS, too many
Things that can kill humans
TOO many
So many controlling
People when will they learn
Selfish, greedy, kind, considerate
Isolated, content , heartrending, mad ,hopeless
Wanting better
Wishing dead
Wanting a 2nd chance
Behind bars 5-life
Cut off from life
Not 1 family member
2 go 2
Make a mistake
Run 2 your rich father
Or mother
Not having a care in the world
So dim –witted 2 drop
Out of school
At the age 10
Wats is left of your life
U have no education to persuade your dream
Stuck can’t even get a job at Burger King
U have so much knowledge but
Wat do u do with it nothing
Making not even minimum wage
Not enough 2 support your family
So burned in the head
Give your baby up for adoption
Leave your baby with a hole in their heart
Giving up not accomplishing
Not enough strength 2 keep on
U just need an extra push, faith
Learning 2 4give &4get
Swearing to your self u will never
4give or 4get
Hating that they left u with contempt
Promising u will never cry
Nor put your head down &give up
Life can mean so many things
But it is the eyes u see it threw
This is about me, so completely unique, and yet so much the same.
No that's not me, that's the beloved youngest member of our family , Brix!!!
To name four things about me:
NOW: I am slow and slightly dim-witted.
THEN: I was fast thinking, a workaholic with a high IQ
NOW: I am plain with little sense of fashion
THEN:I was plain with little sense of fashion
NOW: I can rhyme stories quite well - That doesn't make me a good poet.
THEN: I wasn't much of a poet.
NOW: I am not much of a gardener.
THEN: I wasn't much of a gardener.
I have seen all I care to see. I don't have a bucket list. OH hold on, I changed my mind on that one - I care to see world peace.
I am a lover of poetry. Particularly Aussie poetry and I must count Terry Ireland's poetry in that, even though he is a Pommie.
I am a lover of genuine people. All sorts.
I love our adorable 10 year old Bullmastiff.
Of course I love my family, and one or two super good friends. ( but they are included in "genuine people').
Three feelings- Hot - cold - pain
I fear anyone I know being ill or injured.
Born and bred in paradise. ( Sydney Australia).
Last name . Hmmmmmmm that's a hard one. I will leave this one blank.
( I am sure most of you know it anyway).
I know there is a place for me in this world, as I am needed.
The guy I have shacked up with for the last 52 years conceded,
That I'm useful at times and that without me he would be lost .
He looked at hiring, a cook and a maid - it wasn't worth the cost.
“Route 66” (Part 2)
The Wicked Old Witch stalked her, flying above
on her revved up battered old Peugeot Stick made from
twigs and oderous putrifying brown crud.
Up to this point all silent, the ugly old hag now cackled her passive abuse,
“You may have those Red Shoes Dot, but what matters to me you dim-witted dove,
is that, I now possess forever,
what you truly “most” Love.
Dot was dying bit by bit from the inside, but her fierce Warrior Spirit,
kept her soul burning with pride,
her head held up high,
however, at this point in the story, she wished she had a big gun loaded
with sharp deadly bullets of Bromargyrite.
Dot ignored the covetous old hag, pitied her, that much can be said,
you see, her brother the mindless Scarecrow, was bolted up tight, locked in a cold Tin Shed -
(punishment, his crime: “no brain in his head”);
Dot continued to soldier on forward,
kept up her Warrior’s stride
and thought of the moral in that story about one’s own bed,
there was nowhere to hide.
Dot now thought to look down at her magic sparkling shoes,
Ruby Red,
thought clicking them twice but what was the point,
all that was Home was now dead.
Dot took her eyes off her feet, with eyes now open wide,
she stood stock still, she noticed with pure horror,
clearly understood -
Toto, whom she loved “Most” of all
was missing, no more by her side,
nowhere to be seen
in this dark nightmarish neighbourhood.
A Lion came out of nowhere emerged from the mist,
Somewhere a tawny owl hooted “Who? Who? Is this now a tryst?”
He was holding his tail and a deck of Queens Slippers,
He purred ever so nicely, “Where to now Missus?
I’ve got your back. I’ll stay true.”
“How hard can that be,” he thought, “to dissolve all of her indigo blues?”
Somewhere in the background all foggy
but right on track,
ACDC was playing, that song,
you know the one,
“The Jack”.
(Lovejoy-Burton/Dec 2017)
God,
In His infinite wisdom said:*
“Let there be light”
Then
He went on to create this spectacular world
For us to delight!
Man,
In his infinite "stupidity"** retorted:
“ Let there be darkness”
Then
He was set to destroy this marvelous world
With his mind's dim-witted starkness!
Now,
Man has the horrible consequence of his
Abominable crime to face
Which is no other than the obliteration*** of
Self-centered human race!
© Demetrios Trifiatis
03 APRIL 2014
*Genesis, 1:3
**“Albert Einstein said: "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.”
*** On Monday, March 31st 2014, UN’s most sobering report
to date that was the result of a joint effort of 300 scientists
was published. It grew to 2,600 pages and 32 volumes.
The conclusions of the report are disheartening:
“We are in an era where climate change isn’t some kind of future hypothetical,”
said Chris Field, one of the two principal authors of the report, and Rajendra
Pachauri, chair of the IPCC (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) added:
“Nobody on this planet will be untouched by climate change.”
This means no man or animal on the planet, as well as the earth itself, will be
unaffected!
1.
Rumor has it on heavens above
Among the angels’ divine sphere
That God after very much though
Decided in man’s life to interfere
2.
For He has observed Man’s mistakes
Which lately too many came to be
To endanger the whole of creation
Act with which God can never agree
3.
So the Lord has most recently chosen
The book of life before long to reprint
Revising certain of its very old chapters
While others out will leave, He has hint
4.
The concern of humans is now to know
Which chapters the book will not contain,
Which are going to be, somehow, revised
And which intact will forever remain
5.
What was heard through the vine though,
It was Man’s huge and unbearable vanity
That made our almighty Lord and creator
To finally exclude the chapter of humanity
6.
The reason our God in His infinitive wisdom
Reached such unexpected for Mankind conclusion
Is the fact that Man during his reign on earth
Has hurt our planet with his insensitive intrusion
7.
It might still be time for Man overall to be saved
If he started correcting his many mistakes soon
Beginning by respecting life and the whole planet
And stop behaving as a dim-witted buffoon.
© Demetrios Trifiatis
17 APRIL 2014
* According to UN’s most recent report (March 2014) “We are in an era where
climate change isn’t some kind of future hypothetical,” said Chris Field, one of
the two main authors of the report, and Rajendra Pachari chair of the IPCC
(Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) added: “Nobody on this planet
is going to be untouched by climate change.” For that UN suggested measures
to be taken immediately for to save the planet.
Moreover, the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences ( PNAS),
announced that " Researchers have found out that pollutants are strengthening storms ...plus endanger the health of people."
Lloyd and Harry, two dim witted men
they made me laugh, laugh, then laugh again
with their innocent acts
slapstick, gags and wisecracks
I love this movie, well now and then.
Nowt funnier than dumb and dumber
this great film makes me laugh and blubber
so fills my mind with glee
because they are like me
I'm stupid, but a lot chubbier.
3/13/2018
contest, favorite comedy movie,
Sponsored by: Alexis Y.
‘Cause, Priests and Prophets Must Pray for The Reign…
and for Pre and Post-Op-Apocalyptic–Novocain ! …
Yet… It Doesn’t Matter, What Distress to You
On the Planet, however Polluted or Profane
It Doesn’t Matter, What Distress to You
Wherever the Delusional -Dimensional Plane
It Doesn’t Matter, What Distress to You
Or Danger-Plot, Prison-Door or Deepest Pain
Or Present-Defeat, or Darkest-Hours-View
even Thru Dying-Breath, Devout Prayers Proclaim
to Be Delivered- New, True, and Pulled-Thru
to Claim The Prize of Life-Perpetually-Sustained
… For Particularly, By God’s Unpronounceable Power
Thru His Son’s Unparallel- Principal-Purchase… Dower
God’s Dependents and Dreamers Will Prosper-Gain
The Prophecy, The Promise, The Paradise-Preordained
The Perfect-Future and The Victory-Parade
… The Distant, Destiny of Eden – Never Been Doused Nor Degrade
Then… It Won’t Matter…So, Please Dismiss The Paltry-Strain
The Days of The Deformity and Damage-Train
Will Be In The Past … Departed-Detained
Disaster and Disloyal Will Lay In A Destroyed-Plain
Damned For All Of Time –Proliferate-Blamed
A Suppository-Prophylactic-Puddle-Shame
Patience-Persevering…Demands Punishment - Prediction-Sang…
… Final-Draft …Stop-The-Presses!... Poll-Loudly-Refrains
When You Really Discern and Pragmatically-Attain
The Divine God and His Son’s King- Domain
Publicize Their Progenitor and Predominant Names
and Preach and Deify Like-Doting-Platoon-Swains,
with Pedestal-Passion and ‘Plum-Plumb’, Persistence-Ingrained
For On Position-Comparison, We ‘All’ Pale-to- A-Feigned …
…Puppets and Peons and Dim-Witted-Parasitic-Great Danes
and Dopamine Defective, Demerol Addicted – Darwin-Poisoned-Sprains
Disoriented-Drivel, Droll-Drooling-Inane
or Just-Plain ol’ Dire-Derelicts-Insane
(and now… I have a P D Q,… for Me and You… Migraine)
Oh… May They Accept This Poor-Placard-Crane
Amen… Again… Amen
Enchanted with the precarious recital, the silent sacrament
Aging hastily, ignoring the cadaverous skin for imminent immaculateness
Tempted to escape a few more, she refuses to be subjugated
Impressed with her capacity to swindle the dim-witted, dense humanity
Never staring back, only gazing onward to the day she will attain flawlessness
Glorious will be that day, the idyllic rendezvous she perpetually craves
Distorted perceptions nourish the wicked ploy
Inside craving solace while shrieking a impassioned, clandestine plea
Swirling thoughts of culpability and delight, waltzing collectively
Ohh how her narcissistic scheme empowers her
Ritualistic and merciless is her crime, a vain diversion
Deceiving the masses, misleading her very own flesh
Eating away is her soul, her essence, the pompous hunt for perfection
Relinquishing tranquility to be the mastermind of an unattainable quest
God,
In His infinite wisdom said:*
“Let there be light”
Then
He went on to create this spectacular world
For us to delight!
Man,
In his infinite "stupidity"** retorted:
“ Let there be darkness”
Then
He was set to destroy this marvelous world
With his mind's dim-witted starkness!
Now,
Man has the horrible consequence of his
Abominable crime to face
That no other is than the obliteration of
Self-centred human race!
© Demetrios Trifiatis
01 December 2015
*Genesis, 1:3
**“Albert Einstein said: "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.”
*** Although I do not post these days I wish to repeat what I have said before for it is important for all of us to ponder, along with the rest of the world. In some cities, as Beijing today, one cannot see more than ten meters because of pollution. I know for I have passed seven months there.