Best Dicky Poems
Rap like Rabbit battle Rap
21/05/2018
Livin by the beach and baby life’s good
Not stuck in a rut or in a crummy hood
I’m writing tight rhymes like you know you should
Or like you thought you would
No like you wish you could
But man you ain’t got no wood
Your actions so sloppy n soft
I’m holdin the trophy aloft
Yeah my critics they all scoffed
But my paper leads the way
To hear my rap you gotta pay
The pretty skirts all wanna stay
So many I gotta shoo em away
Cause I’m the one you wanna be,
livin the dream and copping cream
Yeah I’m the one they wanna see, they be givin it away for free
Now listen up a while
And you’ll hear my roarin style
Insults on you I’ll pile
So deep you’ll run 8 mile
Like a rascally rabbit
Talkin rain like Charlie Babbitt
Stuttering’s your best habit
Tear out your heart man I’ll stab it
Oops now your bleeding out
But your soulless words don’t shout
Your lips just quiver n pout
Man... I know what your about
Cause I’m the one you wanna be,
livin the dream and coppin cream
Yeah I’m the one they wanna see, they be givin it away for free
Look at you your a disgrace
Tears a runin down your face
Can’t keep up with my hectic pace
No I won’t show you no grace
Cause now I’m free flowin fast
Like I’ve had a wicked blast
And your junk is still half mast
Oh Man your moments past
Now this is kinda tricky
But your Calvin’s Kleins are sticky
Man I’m just takin the Micky
Out of your sweet little dicky
Cause I’m the one you wanna be,
livin the dream and copping cream
Yeah I’m the one they wanna see, they be givin it away for free
I can’t help but be like this
My arrows never gonna miss
And when you do throw out a diss
I’ll grin or smile and blow a kiss
Cause you can’t touch me dog
Girl on your arm looks like a hog
Girl on mine’s so hot theirs fog
Your starin speechless your agog
I got the paper, chicks and words
You can’t even find a use for verbs
I bet your smokin chockin on herbs
I’m clean n mean, mind undisturbed
Cause I’m the one you wanna be,
livin the dream and copping cream
Yeah I’m the one they wanna see, they be givin it away for free
John Wulf, with his funny Limerick antics telling funny hilarious stories,
“viagraology
There once was a medical study
of things flapping flaccid like putty
those men given placebo
couldn’t enter gazebo
it drove the poor fellas plumb nutty
Copyright © 2015John Wulf”
but also has his very soft spot for all of us
Then there is my very favorite lady, Jan Allison, with all her humorous poems,
ANOTHER VIAGRA POEM HAS JUST POPPED UP - INSPIRED BY EVE ROPER AND JACK ELLISON
It hung so limply like Niagara
Doc told him to take some Viagra
Just one little blue pill
Gave his wife such a thrill
It sticks up so high it could stab ya
Copyright © 2015JAN ALLISON 18th July 2015
but lover her with all our hearts she is the sweeties of them all
Jack Ellison, teasing back and forth with his witty poems,
so who’s the greatest of them all,
OD'd On Viagra
Hickory, Dickory, Dock
Overdosed on Viagra, whatta shock
My wee fellow looked up
Said, “You ain't no pup!”
I cried, “This guy don't go by no clock”
Copyright © Jack Ellison 2015
But a jolly soul because his Santa Jack this year.
Then there’s our Mystic Rose that joins the group with her sense of humor;
A Little Viagra Goes A Long Way
Incline thy ear o-friend of mine
Me poor husband got it bad
He got a dicky that won't pine
Tis sad Tis sad Tis really sad
I heard yours takes Viagra pills
Malone's will not erect nor stay
and yesterday he got the shills
Just letting dicky out to play!
Would you be so kind to send
The medicine that made him sleep
I'll give my hon a pop to rend
His dicky joy, so he can weep
Few tears of joy alongside mine
Oh how my smile would shine
He got a dicky that won't pine
And that's a real bad sign...
Copyright ©Mystic Rose 7/19/2015
so much fun we have here on Poetry Soup
11/13/2015
Poetry Contest : Who Are those funny Poets
Sponsored by: Judy Konos
Parody of Sixteen Going on Seventeen Reprise from the sound of music
I am sixty going on seventy
I’ve got a dicky heart
Surgeon’s been kind and relieved my mind
My ticker he can restart
But I wonder, should the worst happen
Will my life be the same
Energy low ,lost my libido
It’s driving me quite insane
Unfit to make love to my wife
Bereft of all my vim
Unless I brave the surgeon’s knife
Our future’s looking grim
Heart disease is now my enemy
I hope I will pull through
I am sixty if I reach seventy
I’ll need a pill of blue
Just give me a pill of blue
The Tune Of - - - Musicals - - - Part One Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Natasha L Scragg
11/20/21
There was a pilot called bush
Who flew by the seat of his tush,
His job was so tricky
That he listened to dicky
And silenced his critics with shush!
I know I put my glasses down, but don't remember where
I would ask someone to help me, but no one seems to care
I've looked in all the places, that I may have put them down
The last place that I thought to look, the pocket of my gown
Naturally they are not there, continue with the search
Even Cocky seems amused, there sitting on his perch
Did I leave them outside in the car, go out and have a look
I soon found out that they were not there, in the minute that it took
I even opened up the fridge, they never have been there
But it is still a place to look, with diligence and care
I've been up to the bedroom, even checked the bed
Told the family to find them, or no one will be fed
They all gave me that resigned look, now they will have to say
That they know where my glasses are, there is no other way
They still kept quiet and watched me, as I went from room to room
They know they will have to tell me, if I do not find them soon
That would mean they would go hungry, for I would keep my word
I still listen for a message, from that little dicky bird
The youngest of the children breaks, and tells me where they are
They were sitting high up on my head, did not get very far
Early in the year a young man walks with a stout Yew stick firmly on his shoulder,
Resting on damp grey stone looking all around watching the dicky birds and smiling,
Rising from the stone he drops a snowdrop and a forget-me-not onto the cold ground
He had not taken two steps and these flowers have taken root and they begin to grow.
Wet winter aged bushes turned towards this young man he stops and they begin to dry,
Hawthorns nod in thanks and they show him a blanket made of beautiful white blossom,
Colors begin to show in crags by rushing rivers it is time for the heather to wake up,
The young man slowly turned around gray damp plants stood upright their colors bright.
Rabbits darted from their warrens scurrying looking and finding the Dianthus allwoodii,
Cock Pheasants run in circles as baby pheasants grow the proper plumage with their mums,
Frogs hop and croak in the long grass looking for mosquitoes and midges for breakfast,
Caterpillars slither along looking for foliage, plant stems and any unsuspecting flowers.
Moles wander around leaving scars across the meadows looking for earthworms and insects,
Red Spiders living on lower leaves, a Rhododendron bug a pest making the leaves go brown,
The Creeping Thistle is a tall weed it grows very quickly and has beautiful yellow flowers,
The Colts foot is outstanding with its flowering bright yellow head emerging in Springtime.
As he made his way across orchards glades and tiny little brooks the land burst into glory
Grey washed away and bright colors took their place and all turned to a brilliant beauty,
New buds on green trees creating a huge canvas ready for painting an incredible masterpiece,
Water in the brooks bubbled with joy and the birds sang young Mr Spring had returned again.
The day my mother died
It was approaching Christmas tide.
A morning in December I remember it well.
She had a dicky heart
And a check up they thought smart
Before they booked there hols in NZ for next year.
The results eased their fear.
She was ok to travel next year
And that night she went to sleep with a smile on her face.
Although they weren’t keen on the flight,
They slept well and travelled by night;
A smiled to see their son, his wife and grandchildren.
But not all was as good as it seemed,
In the night fate had other things schemed
And she was struck down with a stroke or something like that.
I got a call early next day from dad,
He stayed calm when he said mum was bad
So I packed up shop to be at his side.
When I got to the hospital ward
I knew not what was in for me stored.
There was mum plugged into a life support machine.
It kept her heart rate and breathing steady,
But the doctor said we needed to be ready
Because the prognosis wasn’t good and there was only one way.
My aunt and uncle had gone home,
Leaving me and dad all alone
To say goodbye to mum who we both loved so much.
We knew it was for the best
As we let her slip to eternal rest
And now the angels can look after her.
Ticky Bicky Boo
Licky Mickey Moo
I'm in love with you
Little Tsuki Tsu.
Chicky Dicky Doo
Ricky Nicky Nu
Close your lips with glue
Kiss a kangaroo.
Tricky Picky Poo
Quicky Hicky Hoo
I'll practice Wu Shu
By a shady yew.
Wicky Kicky Ku
Yucky Sticky Stew
Visiting the zoo
Painting chickens blue.
~A Very Important Question~
To all the clever clogs out there, and I know there are some
It’s only cos I’m jealous because I am not one of them
I know how to split an atom, and make a clock run on a lemon
I know how to change a heater on a hot tub, cos I have just done one
I know what to plant in an acid garden that will gives its best bloom
I know the time to plant it and I know when it’s too soon
But when my little nephew asked a question while talking to me
It was a question I was stuck on and it’s “do the dicky birds wee?”
Well I thought about it for a while and pondered on this question
And all the bird poop lying around I could not make a decision on
So to all of you that know the answer, please will you tell me
When a bird is having a craps on us, is it also having a wee?
©GG 1/09/2012
Richard Nixon was the president’s name
It was Watergate that brought him shame
They wanted to impeach him, the F.B.I.
But he resigned before they could try.
Written 21st of March 2019
Celebrity or famous person clerihew contest.
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin.
Wishing Well
Sleep sweet Mary sleep
It'll be okay in the morning
Sleep little Dicky sleep
we can fix it all tomorrow
And we'll picnic by the cuckoo's nest
Shell hard boiled eggs in sun
Then once around the wishing well
before we all head home
Thread carefully the thistles deep
puff dandelion seeds along
With tired feet and sleepy heads
before we head on home
I was qualified in middle eastern history,
which was a waste at the chemist it seemed to me,
however, I saw an advert to become a spy,
Instead of media, thought that I would give it a try.
I had a light brown colour, useful for blending scenery,
knowledge of languages should make me fit in perfectly;
they asked me tricky-dicky questions - was I C - of - E,
I said that I was whatever they wanted me to be.
Soon, I was monitoring 'traffic,' to and fro from Syria,
Yemen, Afghanistan, Iraq, Tunisia, Luton and Algeria;
Forget the romance - no time to look at my ornaments,
even missing tv - 'Holby City' and 'Eastenders' instalments.
One day I woke up and thought that I was dead,
moments later, I felt a cold steel at the back of my head.
Mine I know, yours I’m liking all the more
Mine likes chasing birds, yours likes a little dicky too
Mine likes playing with bunnies, yours is partial to a rabbit too
Mine likes being stroked, yours does too
Mine is all furry, yours was once too
Mine purrs away, yours lovingly murmurs along
Too much pussy I know
All a little bit catty but it’ll have to do
Say hello to Florence the pussy cat
Darling, do you name yours too?
Early in the year a young man walks with a stout Yew stick firmly on his shoulder,
Resting on damp grey stone looking all around watching the dicky birds and smiling,
Rising from the stone he drops a snowdrop and a forget-me-not onto the cold ground
He had not taken two steps and these flowers have taken root and they begin to grow.
Wet winter aged bushes turned towards this young man he stops and they begin to dry,
Hawthorns nod in thanks and they show him a blanket made of beautiful white blossom,
Colors begin to show in crags by rushing rivers it is time for the heather to wake up,
The young man slowly turned around gray damp plants stood upright their colors bright.
Rabbits darted from their warrens scurrying looking and finding the Dianthus allwoodii,
Cock Pheasants run in circles as baby pheasants grow the proper plumage with their mums,
Frogs hop and croak in the long grass looking for mosquitoes and midges for breakfast,
Caterpillars slither along looking for foliage, plant stems and any unsuspecting flowers.
Moles wander around leaving scars across the meadows looking for earthworms and insects,
Red Spiders living on lower leaves, a Rhododendron bug a pest making the leaves go brown,
The Creeping Thistle is a tall weed it grows very quickly and has beautiful yellow flowers,
The Colts foot is outstanding with its flowering bright yellow head emerging in Springtime.
As he made his way across orchards glades and tiny little brooks the land burst into glory
Grey washed away and bright colors took their place and all turned to a brilliant beauty,
New buds on green trees creating a huge canvas ready for painting an incredible masterpiece,
Water in the brooks bubbled with joy and the birds sang young Mr Spring had returned again.
Not Ike, JFK, or Lyndon B.
Tricky Dicky, Gerald or Jimmy C
Ronald, HW, or Hillbilly Bill
“W”, Barack, Trump, and Biden still
Yet, I keep voting and hoping that somebody will