The Strange Story of John Critchen's Big White

“Long time na see    Jim”

“Yip    Long time na see    Jake”

“D’ja see?”

“What?”

“John Critchuns ‘n that danged Big White o’ his”

“Caint say as I did”

“They oughta be a law ‘gainst brangin’ cats inta tha saloon

But he’s niver without his dang cat

Don’t care ‘bout tha law

Men in here should cumplain

‘Cep John’s mighty fast on tha draw”

“Yip”

“That thing’ll walk around    top a poker table

Flashin’ them big white teeth    hisssn    yet

Dang thing’s sa careful not ta spill a chip

Niver seen tha like”

“Oh yeh?”

“He’ll perch on John’s shoulder    lick his ear

Don’t bother John none”

“Hmmm?”

“Niver seen no cat sa big    sa white    sa downright mean

Meanest cat I ever seen!

Whatcha lookin at me thata way fer?”

“Hmmm?”

“Ya keep scratchin yer head”

“Yip   

It’s strange”

“What’s strange?”

“When’s tha las time ya seen Big White?

“Why    jis las night    why?

“Member tha gun fight six weeks ago

When tha Deeler boys held up tha stage out near Castle Rock?”

“Yip”

“Weel    I was there

I was there when John Critchuns and Big White saved tha day

Big White went fer Luke Deeler jist as he uz pickin at the money box lock

Critchuns drew on Luke too

Then Pete Deeler brained Big White ith a rock”

“Dead?”

“Damn sure!

Caved in his friggin head!”
Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Poem

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Dietrich Avatar
November 17, 2010 at 1:28 PM
this is a very interesting story in your highest dialect. heehee. But I wanted to know what became of the cat???
Dufresne Avatar
January 21, 2010 at 4:07 PM
Just surfin' your poems and the name caught me. Really enjoyed it much , Daver. I like "at friggin' dyeleck yer had a goin' 'air! Y'orta do nother un, ah reckon! Enjoyed lots! Got sick o the stubble in the mirror so just growin a beard for a spell. Thanks for askin' :)-Robert
George   Avatar
August 27, 2009 at 10:53 PM
Hi Dave, Loved this story - validates the theory - cats have nine lives. Love the lingo. I hope to be back here at the soup writing again very soon. Have missed all of you. Lainie
Devonshire Avatar
August 17, 2009 at 11:03 PM
Amazing story, Daver. Felt like I came to know and admire Big White. Excellent use of western lingo. But how did one man see the Big White cat the night before when it had been killed earlier? Perhaps there is more than one "Big White" in this western town. Awesome story, Daver! Love, Carolyn
Gorelick Avatar
August 17, 2009 at 9:07 PM
You and Luis Lamore .... I sure enjoyed this..Do you think they said "friggin" back then? LOL. Love, Barbara
Freeman Avatar
August 17, 2009 at 8:43 PM
Awesomely different Daver, Greatly enjoyed your tale, Sincerely Moses
Goff Avatar
August 17, 2009 at 8:26 PM
wildly entertaining! Daver! a classic!!!! and thanks for your comments! jim
Richards Avatar
August 17, 2009 at 3:03 PM
Soup mail dear Daver!! :)
Brown Avatar
August 17, 2009 at 8:12 AM
Daver, you have made my day with this awesome write. Good luck in the contest if you enter it. Love, Carol
Richards Avatar
August 17, 2009 at 7:47 AM
Oh my Daver... ....this is so funny, and the dialect is terrific!! Great contender for Debbie's contest....hope you plan to submit it ... A winning poem!!
Higgins Avatar
August 17, 2009 at 6:05 AM
This is very good brother Daver..love the dialogue in the piece and you told the story so well...excellent.
Kendrick Avatar
August 17, 2009 at 5:32 AM
No wonder he was white. Love the humor. Keep writing. Sara
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