Best Cuisine Poems
Lurking in fuzzy leftovers is seen
A quivering, crawling hairball of green
A florescent prune
Or cheese from the moon
Gurgles gastric, plastic alien spleen
The miser squire requires gluts of caffeine
To dissect this science project's gangrene
Harpoon on a spoon
Zoom to the saloon
Lunch ladies' supreme mystery cuisine.
3/15/19
For Green Humor contest
Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire
After handling Jalapeno Peppers, wash your hands thoroughly BEFORE you use the restroom.
Two servings:
(Frozen) Don Miguel Mexican dinners
DO NOT remove plastic cover
Preheat oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit
(Ovens may vary, cooking times
may require adjustment)
DO NOT prepare in toaster oven
Bake on cookie sheet 30-35 minutes
Carefully remove as PRODUCT WILL BE HOT
Let stand for two minutes
Transfer BOTH items to non-plastic plate
Then proceed as instructed...
To fling open cabinets and fridge
Chop one onion (Don't waste a smidge)
Douse with hot sauce, salsa and cheese
Place in Micro at highest degree
Remove one fork and tablespoon
(Oh man, I'm beginning to swoon)
Turn on your satellite cable
Place REVERENTLY on TV Table
One HEAPING spoonful to begin
(Ow! Melted cheese on my chin)
Place one gooey mess in your mouth
Chew slightly then swallow it south
Ahhhh...What's for dessert?
In Indian cuisine, potato is favourite.
People make variety of dishes and they eat.
Boiled, fried or in dosa.
Love too, filled in samosa.
On day of fast, consume one kg. at least.
Indians like potato, fries and finger chips.
In many other vegetables, they do mix.
No worry, if takes;
body, potato shape.
They are brave not afraid even of diabetes.
(C) S. D. Tiwari
dosa, samosa = names of Indian dishes
For an exotic meal I pursued,
Not expecting one that did include,
Some baked tortoise tails
Amongst a plate of snails...
But I think I’ll just stick to fast food.
Oh, Mother! Why are you such a rotten cook?
I tremble at the sight of this horrific gruel!
I dare say you are being jolly cruel!
Oh! God! Please get me off the hook!
Out Of Date Lean Cuisine Or New Years Resolution Gone Sour
Toss out
I shout
Encore, home, I hear a bang while entering the garage door
Indoor, my spouse is shaking, standing next to the drawer
Unsure why she is possessing the Glock purchased from the store
Odor of iron and ammonia, our kid is on the floor
Minor wound, the teen stands up and lets out a horrific roar
Scare by the unbelievable from a nightmare's tales folklore
Aware of a bat in the corner, I end the sophomore
Poor neighborhood friend, injured, limps over to the sycamore
“You’re one of these creatures?" I implore shouting over this new war
Assure. I am for moving to the islands off Ecuador
BOO - Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Alexis Y. Updated 5/14/2019
The aroma of cuisine fills the air,
Pervading from a steel, simmering pot
With a hissing lid that declares beware
What may it be? I haven’t the lone thought.
My curiosity begins to peak,
I gaze, and observe attentively yet
And round a corner I begin to sneak,
Instantly, I feel a twinge of regret
I raise the lid of the simmering pot,
Steam flees from whatever it is within,
And what’s revealed is not what I had thought
Why it made my smile turn into so wide!
For it was simple gorgeous spaghetti,
With noodles like a wheaty confetti!
My beloved tekeli pitha!
They are rice cakes from Assam.
They are made by steaming them in a kettle (I call tekeli) lid.
Tekeli pitha
or
Kettle cake
tint of jaggery
making love with crushed coconut
cloak in grained rice
and spell of sesame seeds
steam and serve me
i tucked into the pithas in my kitchenette
I live with the aroma here in Assam
I carry the recipe to you there in London
He said he loved of the Mickey,
as he pointed at my friend's faded T-shirt
The native Cantonese man purred,
and said it was his favorite exotic cuisine
Belly, tail and ears
were a most finger licking thing
An acquired taste,
not recommended for the squeamish
The smiling man with the balding hair,
said he squeals with delight
when he takes the first bite
of his favorite American Disney fare
NOUVELLE CUISINE
Nouvelle cuisine the waiter said, as he served the food to me
Where’s the rest I asked him, as I’d earlier skipped my tea
Tiny bits of something on a massive bloody dish
I tried to woo my girlfriend by pretending I was swish
You can pick the restaurant, was my very first mistake
I thought she’d pick our local for some scampi or a steak
Instead she chose Pierre’s, which was going to be steep
I’d heard the food was lovely though the prices made you weep
I gazed upon the menu, which was written out in French
And scanned along the prices, which made my buttocks clench
To refrain from looking stupid, I ordered some red wine
We requisitioned dinner and prepared ourselves to dine
A puny bowl of soup arrived, we felt a touch irate
We had to eat it quickly or it could evaporate
The main course had potato which was hidden by some meat
Five al-dente vegetables, all stacked up nice and neat
A de-constructed rhubarb tart, that’s what they served us next
Though why they took it all apart has left us kinda vexed
We left a tip and paid the bill…a pretty hefty fee
Then dandered into town and we got a KFC
racoon beams from trash
gross French food connoisseur, huge
Julia Child fan
Senryu composed January 12, 2021
The business of Cuisine
Two tins of Swedish meatballs in cream sauce.
The Swedish export their soul even if it is hidden in tins.
Unsalted mind stem and a heart of creamy white gravy.
The new world is about buying and selling, and that is ok,
Chinese dumplings bought at a pavement cafe it took days
to settle my stomach
So you think I know nothing I have been dining at a posh
Chinese restaurant with rotating tables
I said then, but not too cosy up to the host, Chinese food
was leading in the fields of cousin.
That was when I had the misfortune to go to Paris.
excellent food but served with an arrogance that was
off putting. I thought is there nowhere were people serve
food without prancing trays about. Finally, I did in
Alentejo (Portugal) where food is served without fanfare,
because the food is natural, wholesome and good.... and
if you are not driving, try their superb red wine and avoid
a French philosopher whose vanity is shifty as Libyan sand.
Perhaps for dinner you might try
A steak and veggie plate
Or some chicken wrapped in nori,
Such a treat to masticate!
At some eateries, the menus
Are creative as food gets,
Which is really a surprise because
The customers are pets.
San Francisco’s restaurant “Dogue”
And Manhattan’s “Judy Z’s”
Offer rawhide bones and cupcakes,
All with canine tastes to please.
Though I understand that owners
Love their dogs, I must admit
Fancy dog meals in a restaurant
Just seems inappropriate.