Best Crabby Poems
We are going on a trip to the British Isles
and Channel Island of Guernsey and Normandy.
This sure should be quite a cruise. Here is my
first poem I am writing about it even though I
have not been there yet. Here goes.
Crabby Walking Though the Abbey
by James Thomas Horn before we
go bye.
Can't leave London without having fish and chips
Which originated from slick, sailing ships;
Could ride by restaurant in horse drawn coach
See beautiful women while wearing a broach.
Many smiling people everywhere we shall see;
Some may even be from upper high society
Who all have much money they can spare
Yet, still can seed noses held high in the air.
While we were looking did see a lovely doll,
And ended up having a big barroom brawl;
After we left and what soon was a little later
Americans were accused of being an instigator.
From it all we started having terrible cough
Maybe it was from riding get on and get off;
Over pages of those punished started to skim;
No wonder Tower of London looks so grim.
But, at last, lovely parade now had begun;
Women had fun wearing hair in a big bun;
After seeing hats and hearing all of the hype,
Wanted to hear band who played a bagpipe.
Saw some important people in front of a manor
And out in front of it could find a big banner,
But you could see me starting to get crabby;
Wife said we will walk though entire abbey.
James Thomas (Out of Breath) Horn
www.poetrysoup.com
www.story-telling-around-the-world.com
The way that you’re crying,
You sound like you’re dying…
You can’t get enough of that food!
And then, when I feed you,
You say, “I don’t need you!”
And you’re in another bad mood!
Stop trying to bite me!
I think that you might be…
A little too cruel and crabby!
No matter what I say,
I’ll adore you anyway!
You’ll always be my love, Tabby!
When wrinkles start appearing
Getting deeper by the day
With liver spots accruing
And the hair is going grey
The early morning aches and pains
A stomach growing flabby
The crows feet and the flatulence
No wonder you feel crabby
Yes you read the title right
But let me shred some light
It happened in 1980 when I worked on Madison Avenue
The Receptionist was going to buy live crab for dinner
Well as a friend would, I accompanied her
We entered the Butcher, and there were array of kinds of meat and live crabs on Eighth Avenue and West 43rd Street
The Receptionist was going to eat good that night was going to be a treat
The Butcher put 8 Live crabs in the bag
It’s a wonder that none of the crabs had to gag
So walked to 6th Avenue to catch the D train
The continued story gets to be even more insane
One of the crabs escaped out
Some of the passengers made big scream shout
You can imagine in what I am talking about
It was dinner on the run
This was a live crab raw and not even cooked done
I told the Receptionist, there goes your dinner after it
When the Receptionist got home, she cooked those crabs until they were done
But before that, they fought out the bag
It sounds more like they were playing tag
There’s the sea food tail, crabs in their crabby ways, and I will never forget on that day.
To the fish market she'd been fetchin',
Now her stomach linin' stretchin',
Must have been the crabs she ate,
Three crustaceans gone from her plate,
Now poor Grechin's rechin'.
as the low tide sets
sand bubbler emerge burrow
quickly sifting grains
B follows A
And C proceeds D
It's a formula older than time
The lowest sink of
debauchery to the ilks
Of a sort seem sublime
A pail full of
Crabs
Will stay to the brim
Each holding the
Other
In place
That none should struggle
Perchance to escape
the fate some have
Chosen to face
As the pails contents
Scramble and roil
And the water before them
Comes to a boil
They gleefully chortle
To this hope that is mine
Don't be afraid the water is fine
Crabby morning
He looked down into the toilet bowl
had shat and flushed, 80-year-old going to waste
down a drain and into the sea.
70 years ago when he lived on a farm human and
Animal waste was used as a fertiliser the waste had
been useful potatoes grew big as did cabbages.
He had read the Chines collected stuff dried it and
Made it into powder and sold for strawberry farmers.
He had a shower and shaved, used proper blades
no electric shaver for him, he hadn`t drunk coffee
yet and was cranky.
Comma, the crabby crow, was a curious bird
He collected aluminum, kind of absurd
Necklaces were swooped up in his beak
His cawing was louder than most bird speak
He was always moving, stomping around
When he was not flying, if he was on the ground
Frenzied and furious today, for he had lost a gem
A gorgeous moonstone necklace, given to him.
Some tried to help, but he shooed them away
He was not in the mood to be nice or play
But we want to help the other crows said.
A murder of crows singing over his head.
Art, poetry, cartooning, gardening, and love of life keep me going.
When I want to give up, when I am depleted and defeated
I pull my resources together and we take a nap.
Replenishing ourselves in a couple of hours, so we can
wake up and spend time playing with an imagination that
knows she needs rest for renewal, reflection, and rejuvenation.
My muse gets crabby and angry if I keep going past our limits.
My mean side begins kicking furniture and writing nasty poems.
My artistic side begins making mistakes and lamenting
and blaming others.
The paint is too thick.
If she had not called me.
If he had not upset me.
When we get to this point
We know we need a little respite.
I am like the energizer bunny.
I go and go and go and go.
God has to take me down and out completely sometimes.
To show me that I am not in charge.
That I am at His mercy.
It makes me so angry.
But it has to be done.
For Energizer Bunnies do not stop until nothing is left.
Even if they learn about prayer, meditation and naps
when they are in full manic flat out have a great time
and stay up all night mode, being insanely creative
they forget to take that nap.
That is when all hell breaks loose.
Which is why I am trying so hard
to give my imagination and my soul a
little nap when I feel crabby and mean.
Crabby Appleton Got His
Way Again!
There Was Nothing
I Could Do Without
My Thinking Cap.
-Gray Squirrel
05-24-2025
I'll give you a chance to explain
Why there's always so much pain
In your heart that you are spreading
There's always a storm that's heading
To everyone that you meet
You used to be so upbeat
Full of happiness and joy
Where is that fun loving boy
That was known for spreading cheer
Now it is just hate and fear
That's infecting our whole town
Someone needs to knock you down
On your butt and make you see
All this angry misery
Isn't good for anyone
You are like a loaded gun
Shooting remarks at your friends
We just want to help you mend
Erasing all the torture which
Turned you into a huge B--ch
rantankerous attitude
vinegarish and waspy
crabby and crusty
a crabby courtesan does not do well
when her meanness is seen by clientele
the one I knew named angry night crawler Nell
was so grouchy, she was a very hard sell
the Madame found her a new place to dwell
No one knows what happened to nasty old Nell
creepy crabby Cruella was a cracking crackpot
criticizing creatures until they cringed on the spot
cruel and crosswise, Cruella earned exactly what she got
a crazy, crusty, crotchety old man who smoked yesterday’s pot