Best Commercial Poems
the
thick message
competes with reality,
pulls us like string puppets,
wags the tail of truth,
prevents positive emotion,
obscures historic changes,
stopping time....
....slowing progress
increasing
shareholder
value
DISGUSTING COMMERCIAL
As one gets older things begin to sag
Belly hangs over, energy lags
Better take thought for your health old man
Heed this add, start our diet plan
Oh, there’s fat-free, sugar-free, freedom from gas
Beach ball bloating a thing of the past
Darlene B,, bikini beauty, she lost fifty
From obese to trim now aint that nifty
I tell ya, gordo, though you may resist
Fifty off that paunch will never be missed
If going cold turkey has failed in the past
Cash on the line will save you at last
Our plan now comes with money back guarantee
So what if you pig out – go on a spree
Nothing’s lost but your self esteem
After the orgy macho bod only a dream?
No! Shovel in the junk food one last time
Then start life over, call up Trim Line
Dave Austin
Pringles with presentation in flavor
The chip itself is something to sliver
One bite and you know the taste is fresh
We look and you know you need to buy
All it takes is one try
The crispness being at its best
Other potato chip competitors in their contest
Lays with no one can just one
Wise got you in their eye
Utz we got you covered
But neither one can explain why
The Pringles P being perfection
The consumer being the indication
You will agree yourself
There is no comparison with anybody else
The goodness with the man with the beard
Pringles with how your taste will preserver
It’s the crunch on yes and the flavor that says it best.
Act of inspiration wrestle pythons
Research scientists are the primary audience
ethics and research breakthroughs
bring the beauty, multi-media presentation allows
photographers
Auto loading service pistol- long awaited culmination
Brutally overbuilt
disregard" the request for help
generally docile the loudest creatures on earth
Shoot, shovel, and shut-up
collaborators use a suite of factors to assess
national policies to promote efficiency
Europe After the Rain
Persistence of Memory done before 1800
Commercial advertisers often seek purpose
An Experienced Perfectionist
showing a belief in and veneration
imbued with pious sacred rites
*For the cut- up contest
( and yes, these are in exact order LOL)
Commercial (The TV Miniseries)
I watch TV all day, even when I play or sleep
Information about cars, phones, pharmaceuticals
Is what I’m craving for, so give me more
Drug companies pay billions to make a score
To educate, inform, cure us of diseases we don’t have
They make sure we watch and never think
Commercials play repeatedly
Even if we’re bored and snoring
Don’t blink
They save us from the heartbreak of scoliosis
I don’t know what that is or what it’s for
But give me more
I buy everything on shopping networks
Including insurance for car and house, though I don’t have them
I can’t live without meteor and nuclear war insurance
According to the message
I can’t wait for the new season to start
My heart is palpitating
Commercial, The Miniseries will air September in the nation
Pull up a chair and start your couch potations
Santa was a fat cat
Who gave all his wealth away,
Taking toys to boys and girls
With his reindeer and red sleigh.
The pricey gifts for which kids asked
Put Santa in the hole.
He had to get himself a job
To stay off of the dole.
So now you find him hawking wares
Before Thanksgiving Day,
He knows he has to hustle
If he hopes to fill that sleigh.
Won 3rd place multiple tie .
The city is famed
Stilettos on cobbled street
Glamorization
Ladies. Are you tired of having the family underfoot?
Are you fed up with their boorish behavior?
Great News. For a limited time only...
We present the must have product of the year.
"Common Sense in a Can.'
Just apply it to the infected area
and watch the results.
They will astound you!
Watch as a lady applies it to her Husband.
Look as he throws something in the trash.
Realizing it's full... he removes the garbage
from the can and replaces it with a new bag.
That's amazing!!
And that's not all. 'Common Sense in a Can' comes
in three different scents.
There is... 'You're pissing me off' Peppermint.
... 'I so loath you right now' Nuckleberry
And our most popular flavor...
.... 'What the hell are you doing?' Daisy Fresh.
Yes... there's more!!
If you have teenagers at home... we will double your order
at no additional charge. That's enough for the whole family.
Just pay shipping and handling.
So order now!!
Not legal in Washington or where prohibited by law.
Taxes may apply.
The End
*For those who are interested. I am posting my cartoon 'Bob's your Uncle' on my homepage. A new one will appear every second day or so.
Look-see into the Telly,
let that buy Idol Eye soil your soul
Go to sleep,
and fall deep
into the Cyclops’ belly
Allow the remote
to take rip van winkle plug control
A lower case hypnotic beam
will put your credit card
purchased dream
on a subliminal suggestion channel
Soon you’ll awaken suddenly
inside of a sales pitch tease —
So don’t be snooze alarm angry!
It's just a friendly sponsor
low cable fee,
advertisement guarantee
A paid commercial break from reality
In case of debt shock,
never pull the plug
socket hasty
Take a two-for-one offer pause,
to defibrillate the situation
Warning!! Don’t turn the On knob Off
Give a Westworld hoo-ray,
and have a
Wells Fargo
bank account robbed Chase
Every coma vay-cay
ain’t necessarily a broadcast emergency
Induced sleep zombies
simply need
a lengthy commercial shake
But, this mis-remember, please ...
If pinched purse eyes do
Reality awake
A wallet empty condition
can cause a psychotic break
I have just the detergent,
To clean your dirty clothes,
I will even guarantee to you,
They will smell like a rose.
Even if you have no machine,
There is no need to fret,
In a pan soak them in this,
Until they become very wet.
Leave your clothes one hour,
They will come out fine,
And, when they have dried,
They will surely shine.
When you go somewhere,
You can walk with pride,
For all your dirt and grime,
Your clean clothes will hide.
Got it gettin' on down the straightaway,
runnin' on a thrill in the smoothest way,
cruisin' down the road through the local hop,
got it gettin' on down the neverstop,
Got it on the run in a good kind a way,
in a movin' groovin' sharp lookin' chevrolet,
gonna keep it on the run...havin' some kind a fun,
catchin' the scene in my chevy machine,
Catchin' the scene in my chevy machine,
cruisin' all around.....awake in a dream,
I ain't done nothin' but keep it clean,
I'm a high ridin' hard drivin' gene in a dream machine,
Got it on the run in a good kind a way,
in a movin' groovin' sharp lookin' chevrolet,
gonna keep it on the run, havin' some kind a fun,
catchin' the scene, in my chevy machine,
In my dream machine, clean machine,
Yea, mean machine, out at play,
gonna keep it on the run, havin' some kind a fun,
yea, catchin' the scene in my chevy machine,
Got it on the run, in a good kind a way,
in a movin' groovin' sharp lookin' chevrolet,
gonna keep it on the run, havin' some kind a fun,
catchin' the scene, in my chevy machine,
catchin' the scene in my chevy machine,
catchin' the scene in my chevy machine.
The light is a game that changed our name
Made our lives this simple stain
Your life is pain I cannot sustain
Born to entertain, drown in the rain
All we do is fight
For what we think is right
Too bored to be suicidal
So denial takes a life
The screen is awake, make no mistake
Drove our minds from our veins
TV mind is all of mankind
Faces cracked and filled with lines
The light is game that changed our name
Made our lives this simple stain
Quietly, the TV bleeds
Bedroom violence all we see
Wish you goodbye, never ask why
We never smile and we never cry
Your life is pain I cannot sustain
Born to entertain, drown in the rain
All we do is fight
For what we think is right
Too bored to be suicidal
So denial takes a life
Our arms are entwined, eyes start to grind
Dilate and understand it lives inside
Volume’s too loud, shut your mouth
Killing time and never doubt
The light is a game that changed our name
Made our lives this simple stain
All we do is fight
For what we think is right
Too bored to be suicidal
So denial takes a life
IV-TV
It’s a life-time guarantee
To a tolerable degree
Why couldn’t you just learn to read?
All we do is fight
For what we think is right
Too bored to be suicidal
So denial takes a life
All we do is die
For what we think is right
Too bored to be suicidal
So denial takes my life
I am listening to a list of glorious disclaimers on TV
That follow a commercial about a terrific new wonder drug that
helps you blow freckles off your arms.
Usually I am in the kitchen getting
Something to eat by now, but this time I already had my little
banana peanut butter sandwich with two package of chips on my
lap, so I actually listened to these darling side effects:
Possible heart attack
Possible stroke
Possible weight gain
Possible loss of bowel control
Possible lesions
Possible eye damage
Possible liver failure
There are ten others, but do I really need to continue?
Underwear to hold your leaks,
Meds with crazy names -
These are products touted
As I watch the Aussie games.
Homeowners’ insurance,
Make-up, cool expensive cars
Advertised between the sets
Of vaccinated stars.
Scenes of lovely Melbourne
By commercial crews they’ve hired
Hoping that some tourists
Will be well-enough inspired.
Since I can’t fast-forward,
Every ad I’m forced to see,
Although the target audience
Is certainly not me.
Fin Whales are listed as, endangered
and are the second largest animal, on our planet
they swim in, California, Coral Triangle and Artic waters
and the ridge on their back, is nicknamed “razorback”
They have an unusual feature, as their lower left jaw
is just black, and lower right jaw, is bright white
They circle schools of fish, with their white side facing
to densify their prey, for an easy catch of fish
Commercial whaling, has killed hundreds of thousands
for oil, meat and baleen, to feed greedy humans
Iceland needs to end, their commercial annihilation
and we all need to end, climate change and pollution