Best Butts Poems

Ned was grandma's billy goat, 
The meanest goat in town; 
Every time you crossed his path, 
He'd try to butt you down!

Buddy was our neighbor, 
A twisted lil' teen; 
He always nagged that billy goat, 
For that's what made him mean!

Fate caught up to Buddy,...

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Under the bleachers, I do declare.
Some undergarments and underwear.
All exposed with little fear.
Will anyone see? It's not real clear.

Little Johnny plots with rubber bands.
While all these butts become his fans.
These rubber bands, they soon will fly.
Spectators will jump up for the sky.

He strikes at will,...

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A big butt is my sister’s curse 
Her landmark is legend of verse
Small minds would unwrap
As sun it would sap
Her clothes need a map to transverse...

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you see its you look
you get hook
you won't touch
you so its so much
sometime you get
its
SEX AND BIG BUTT...

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They say in life you should start at the bottom and work your way up
Butt your bottoms in the middle, I’m betwixt, in between
Well that’s a bit of a bummer which way do I turn
My only saving grace is your bottom is so gorgeous
So I’m...

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Certainly. There's lotsa stuff
that's no more.
Certainty, like death, is forever.
Change stops when you're dead.
Change does just that, keeps changing.
You can give up smoking
yet you can't give up changing.

Gave up smokin' fifty years ago.
Cigarettes, ash trays, things of my past.
There's something about ashes
everyone eventually ends up...

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Precisely why are we here today
  working out butts off for so little pay
When will we have universal basic income
  For that, let's get out there and bang the drum

Work can be tedious, deadly, demeaning
  especially when it's arduous scrubbing and cleaning
They...

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Butts and iffs 




Too bee or knot two bee,
When hole poetree can bee red strait,
Why mite we sale on the stormy waive ?

Too bee or knot two bee,
Throwns waited for there mitey kings,
Morning there death butt time would sing,

Two bee or knot too bee,
Queen that...

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Bud's Butts, have become a profound
               
               thought and display of art, from his natural

  ...

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Little Jonny returns with a brand-new toy.
He’s back under the bleachers, this naughty little boy.
He’s got a cattle prod that he has named King Tut.
It’s fully charged and ready to zap someone in the butt.

He looks front to back and side to side.
He spots a...

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No big butts for him. He liked her slim.
Turn around, turned on, he couldn’t deny it,
when she slipped on those padded briefs.
She modeled those steamy lacy undies
and now he loves, even more, of his wife.

8/31/2022...

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Life should never include ifs, ands, or butts
Especially the butts, they're made for those who lust
There's something about anuses
Attached to gorgeous waitresses
Maintain your composure, remain calm you must...

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An A.P.* who was filling in
To read aloud on Zoom
Just grabbed a book his own kids faved
And thereby met his doom.

The second graders loved it
But it didn’t make the cut
With his boss, because the title talked
Of needing a new butt.

The humor’s aimed at children
And describes,...

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I’m surely not the only one
Who finds this hard to use
And whether it is needed
Will produce conflicting views.

Yet when in a public restroom
I will often face defeat
When I try to use the paper cover
For the toilet seat.

As I peel one from the package,
In the process...

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