Ilene Bauer Poet Rhyme

No Ifs, Ands Or Butts

An A.P.* who was filling in
To read aloud on Zoom
Just grabbed a book his own kids faved
And thereby met his doom.

The second graders loved it
But it didn’t make the cut
With his boss, because the title talked
Of needing a new butt.

The humor’s aimed at children
And describes, in certain parts,
The different types of derrieres
And also talks of farts.

Reluctant readers sometimes need
Such talk to be inspired
But still, the one who read it
Found out he had gotten fired.

This happened while America
Was celebrating reading
And surely censorship like this
Is not what kids are needing.

*Assistant principal

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Marikate Kingston April 9, 2022 at 8:16 PM My nephew loves Captain Underpants books. Funny :o) Isn't there another called Everybody Poops? Be fun, be silly. Childhood is so short. Children need to hear how sentences are put together, new vocabulary, and rhyming words, that's what matters. Jack Prelusky's children's poems are hysterical, Kenn Nesbit's as well.

Caren Krutsinger March 27, 2022 at 3:26 AM "needing a new butt" - I love that!

Rico Leffanta March 13, 2022 at 11:41 AM Children pay attention to what interests them, so any type of censorship simply makes them curious to find out what it is that is being hidden from them, and why. Soup censors don't know that, either! Enjoyed, Ilene, especially as I thought you would write about how dangerous it is to visit a museum in New York! Aloha!

Jan Allison March 13, 2022 at 7:47 AM what a clever title! such a tragedy this happened Ilene, poetry doesnt need to be high flautin, it can be a bout fartin or tootin as my poems prove. Kudos to the AP for trying to make it fun and on a level the students would enjoy, hugs Jan xx

L Milton Hankins March 12, 2022 at 5:51 PM I think the days are over when a parent can come in and read, unless they want to go through the background check, etc., etc., etc.

John Lawless March 12, 2022 at 4:23 PM Irene, they used to let me come in and read to my kids class. I specialized in introducing them to Shel Silverstein's poetry and then to some of my own.