Best Biscuit Poems
I am the enchanted poetry biscuit
No gravy, no butter, I look so bland
Staring at the fridge, will you risk it?
Sweep me away in your hot hands!
I’m so much more than last night’s pizza pie
Come on now, I dare you, take a bite
A radiant magic awaits inside
To quench the burn; set your soul aright
Whether you nuke me, boil me, or bake me,
I’ll satisfy your cravings the same
And like life, I’m as good as you make me
Let the flour and baking soda set you aflame!
“Poetry Biscuit” was an irresistibly compelling suggestion…
5/1/16
© Thomas W. Quigley
For contest: Poetry ______
Sponsor: PDA
(Sung To The Song "I Will Always Love You" By Whitney Houston...From the film..The Bodyguard)...(1992)
If you do stay
You'll be tempting me to your way
In the bin you now go
I can't risk having you here everyday
Coz I will want to eat you
I will want to taste you
You
My biscuit you
Mmmmmm
Loaded with calories
And the fat thighs given to me
So goodbye
I won't cry
Plus my weight plays havoc with my knees
Coz I will want to bite you
I will want to nibble you
You
You could stay if fat free
And I lost all the weight you gave to me
And hadn't given me chin number three
I favoured you, but now set myself free
And I will always love you
Your soft chocolate goo
Your brown crumbly crumb base
Your sweet biscuit round face
Your taste that I still crave
Each small crumb I would not waste
My
Biscuit, I miss you
I'll always
I'll always want you.
Change The Record Poetry Contest
Sponsor : Natasha L Scragg
Written 15.10.21
biscuit pizza joy
shrimp and scallop alfredo
cream soda delight
Once there was a man called John biscuit, the faith
“What you believe you are, you are” biscuit’s great faith
Come hell or high water
Shame, redicule no matter
Bloody biscuit what do you believe? Tell the truth.
Stop being suggestive
With that choccy digestive
Just stick it in your gob
And pass me a hob nob
"You son of a biscuit!" That's me being clean.
I call others a "son of a biscuit"
when I'm in the prescence of children especially,
when I really want to say, "You SOB!"
I get some pretty weird looks from they I "curse out,"
in front of children regularly,
but this approach can backfire as I discovered unfortunately,
soon you'll have a squadron of children calling everyone,
a "son of a biscuit" eventually.
Kids seem to think my "son of a biscuit" is very funny.
Chocolate coffee biscuit brown
See the dusky girl in town
Coffee mocha honey skin
Amber eyes are full of sin.
Black is dark and white is light
In between for just one night
Precious saffron taste of wine
Violet scented rose divine
Guilty pleasure, bittersweet
Enchanted eve where to worlds meet
Morning sunlight shining through
Door was open no-one knew.
DUNKING ONE'S BISCUIT . . .
Dunking one’s biscuit is more than a flippin’ skilled art
When getting it to one’s mouth without it falling apart
Timing is all-important here it needs to be not too soft
As you lift it from the teacup over to your mouth cross
Get it right and the winning mouth - gets to takes it all
Get it wrong and the losing biscuit - takes a flippin’ fall
Don’t even think of knocking your granny over this one
The lady is an aged old expert - she’ll never be outdone
Grandpa is far more laid back as he only does it for fun
As all the missed soggy biscuits down his hairy chin run
Uncle Sac is getting the hang of it over his learned years
Aunt Lea doesn’t partake as she always ends up in tears
Rex the dog is always quite happy if you make a mistake
He sees all this coming - happy to stand by you and wait
No need for tissues as he is quite happy to lick your face
No hope of keeping one’s dignity as you are losing grace
Oft an afternoon was spent with this skilled art we tried
With the miss tries making us all laugh so till we all cried
Ah yes - dunking one’s biscuit is more than a flippin’ art
It takes a scientific skill or like my dear old granny smart
Who spent many a younger year learning this clever art
So if you are well past caring please don’t give up heart
It is all about the fun of trying and the laughter it brings
And it really makes your day if it’s your biscuit that wins
Indiana Shaw . . .
There was a Rubenesque gypsy from France,
Who made love to all the pirates of Penzance!
Alas~condemned to walk the plank.
Till she flashed her voluptuous, sun-tanned flank!
Captain so pleased~no plank,just asked,
His "Sea Biscuit" to dance!
July 11, 2019
8:20pm PST
Formerly entitled His Sea Biscuit
The biscuit treaty
Ranting is what we do best
He thinks he’s right, but I am
With angry jibes we begin
Snippets of lashed tongue
Whip their way across the room
Pulling on his trigger
Fired bullets retaliate
Injured, still undefeated
I ponder my position
Another attack invoked
Flicker of realisation
Is there a need to endure
Realising stamina’s gone
The point is simply advised
On both sides for that matter
Diplomacy now required
But who will raise the white flag
Both pause, anticipating
His kettle letting off steam
He pours, only for himself
Then sits, cup in hand, silent
Reaching for a happy end
A tin armed with biscuits
I open with a gesture
He smiles, not looking over
Relieved, I wave the tin
His favourite, a done deal!
Things were quiet, relaxed and calm,
Things were rosy and fine,
Nothing was going to turn it around,
Nothing from out or inside,
And then, from nowhere, her upper lip quaked,
She hid a small grin out of view,
And her eyes softly scanned those all around,
Her eyes both hid what she knew,
And she could see the moment of their discontent,
A fidget in a seat here and there,
Her eyes could see the library of people,
Shifting around on their chairs,
And one by one, like a house built of cards,
She saw the smiles all sink like a ship,
Because it was she, with her gluteal guitar,
Who let a silent, most violent one, rip.
A wee little biscuit softly implored
a gruff, hard-hearted and tuberous yam,
"oh, why, my dear friend, must you be so hard?"
and the yam replied, "I am what I am!"
"In my kitchen, I will not have this chat",
I said, as, into the oven they went.
"Now I'm soft", said yam, an hour after that.
"But I'm hard", I heard from the oven vent,
"...if, my dear yam, I might beg your pardon,
while this heat made you warm up and get soft,
I had to wait, and burned up to harden",
said the biscuit as the black smoke did waft.
Poem idea? Don't make my mistake,
or you will burn your house down while you bake.
the snowflakes make your smile shine
i laugh softly as you try to catch one on your tongue
you are completely careless and totally unaware of life and what it is
six hours removed from leaving the hospital after your ninth heart surgery,
i just let you be free because by golly you deserve it
i think i will surprise you with your favorite pepperoni and mushroom biscuit pizza
then again, i better stay right here and make sure you do not overdo it
while lost in thought, i feel you give me a slight nudge
you tell me that you are a bit tired, so we go inside the house, warm up, and just sit still for a spell
then you whisper in my ear the words i saw coming since the first look in your perky brown eyes....'pepperoni and mushroom biscuit pizza'
i look down at you and smile and say 'okay'....and in the kitchen we go
so warm the Blessed Feeling
For one hundred and twenty-nine years McVities’ digestives have been eaten.
They are touted as good for digestion, and their chocolate version cannot be beaten.
Tesco, Doves Farm and Mark and Spencer have all jumped into the biscuit game.
Attempting to overthrow McVities as the number one, but their biscuits re not the same.
A mere eighty-four calories, if you only have one or two or three it will be okay.
But sometimes I am worn out and irritated and eat a package at the end of the day.
I reach for chocolate ones, which are tastier than the American’s Graham Cracker.
Or water biscuit to you, if you are English, and am not sure of their terms whacker.
The digestive originated in Scotland, but do we want to give all the credit to them?
After all we have perfected our eating of it with your pinkie held up as a little stem.
With double cream or gammon, and possibly a bit of golden syrup too,
We like our tasty bites in secret, or with choice guests, whose blood is blue.
It says on McVites website that an employee Alexander Grant formulated secret recipe.
They use whole wheat flour and baking soda, so an antacid, they pretend it can be.
In actuality, it is a sweet meal biscuit, and it is good for eating with your Earl Gray.
I am going to have to leave you now, for my salivating mouth is getting in my way.
Every Biscuit Has Its Day
By Tom Wright
8/8/2006
I tossed a biscuit to my old hound,
It conceptually then became a dog biscuit,
He refused to eat it
So actually that made it a bad dog biscuit,
He did bury it for later though
So technically I’d be correct in saying
That every dog oops biscuit has its day!
It must be all in how you wop the can!!
Tom