Best Better Looking Poems
Two hearts became one
Now they follow different paths –
Divorce with remorse
He complained constantly of my cooking
Café reservations always booking
Said I drove him insane
But boy did he complain
When I left for someone better looking
The complaining has stopped, but the house is so quiet
So I pick up the phone, invite him for a riot
Haiku, limerick and couplet for the Divorce Club contest
Categories:
better looking, funny, husband
Form:
Limerick
You are simply a work of art.
I’ve known it from the very start,
But you won’t find me hittin’ on ya.
For I’m just an old guy
With a twinkle in his eye;
Happy just to gaze upon ya.
My old heart quickens it pace
Each time I see your pretty face,
A face that every man should see.
Sometimes, just for a while,
Each time I see you smile,
I imagine it's just for me.
And, when I hear your voice,
For just a moment, I rejoice.
Yes, it’s music to these old ears.
But more than a work of art,
You’re warm and funny and smart.
Simply a beautiful person, my dear.
Though with you I’m quite smitten,
My words are respectfully written;
And every word is true.
But, if I weren’t so old,
If I were better looking and a little bold,
I would simply say, “I love you.”
Categories:
better looking, age, angel, beauty, dream,
Form:
Ode
( BANK ROBBERY )
Theres going to be a robbery, where theres lots of cash at hand.
Its going to take the 4 of us, and we all got to understand.
There cant be any mess ups, we got to plan this robbery out.
Case the joint and watch everyone, know what each one is about.
Do it in the morning when most people are at work.
Scare the bank teller, make them think there going buserk.
Take 2 guns and a taser, and give the man a note.
Demand all the money in our bags, then later we can gloat.
Make sure the get a way car runs, make sure its full of gas.
We got a time limit, and each detail has got to be real fast.
Wear ski masks on our face, so no-one knows its us.
Look very scary, jump in circles and always try to cuss.
We are in the car on the way to bank, our blood is really cooking.
Got Mel in the drivers seat, and Jason is the lookout cause he is better looking.
We are really getting close, only a block and each one posed.
We pull up to the bank, and the damn sign says its closed.
Categories:
better looking, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
IF’s and Buts
I started this poem way back in September
Dog-eared my journal so I could remember
I didn’t have much, just one line in rough-cut
And it all started out with “if” and “but”
If “ifs” and “buts” were candy and nuts
I’d be in a diabetic trance
For “ifs” and “buts” have driven me nuts
At each and every chance
If only I were richer
If only I was smarter
If only better looking
If only a self starter
But gambling is a habit of mine
But school was a waste of time
But I got a Mohawk when high
But I am too lazy to try
Yes, if “ifs” and “buts” were candy and nuts
I’ve sampled more than my share
No one’s fault but my own
Now just leave me alone
For if truth’s told, I really don’t care
Mdailey 3/8/12
Categories:
better looking, introspection, on writing and
Form:
Rhyme
I really like that grass, on that side of the fence
It's so luxurious, It looks compact and dense
I imagine me sitting, over there on my ass
Comfy and so cozy, that is my kind of grass
Mine is dissapointing, some may think it's obcene
It's not like my neighbors, his is completely green
Everything looks better, looking over that way
He works to improve it, by working night and day
So now I realize, My brown yard is okay
Green grass is too much work, I would much rather play
Categories:
better looking, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
My stomach is on my mind
Won't you get that griddle cooking
My mind is on my heart
Couldn't get no better looking
My memories all ran dry
Went down to the drinking well
Fill me up my loving cup
Surely wasn't thinking well
My tractor lost a wheel
The hoe can't even pull her out
My cat came back without her
The dog can't even figure it out
Categories:
better looking, allusion, analogy, humor, humorous,
Form:
Ballad
I need to Get this off my chest I need to say this
This picture won't be perfect, no matter how I display it
But I'll try to make it as beautiful as possible
I'm going out of my mind, because you've been sectioned and admitted to hospital
I wish I could help you, but you're in the best place
I lost my dad at 14, yours died 2 weeks ago, I hope your shoulders soon have less weight
I hope you talk to the hospital staff, and aren't planning your next escape
I hope you realise it doesn't make you less of a man to shed a few tears
You were clean from drugs for 14 months and off section for 2 years
Before this relapse, but it was to be expected
You don't want to speak to anyone, so I can't even send you a message
We've never been the closest, but I always hold you dear
If you need me, then I'll hold your tears
Talk to me, and I'll hold your fears
I always hated drugs because of how they made you & our sister turn out
Maybe I'm wrong for being this honest and putting them words out
But growing up in care, due to my families drug habits, put me off trying them
Words on a page is the form I'm crying in
I wish I could pull you up, if you need me, grab a hold of my hand
I promise to go a full day without mocking you for being a Liverpool fan
But that's banter between us, cause I'm a United fan and our teams have a big rivalry
I'm only putting this out there, cause I can't speak to you privately
Some people have beautiful lives, why does ours have to be a war?
I'll die with my pain if it means you can be free from yours
You're my brother, why should nurses dictate when and how long I can see you for?
Same mum, different dads, but we both love Hip-Hop and football
I hope once you figure your own mind out, you'll accept my calls
We've never been the closest but that needs to change quick
But neither of us have energy because depression drains it
I'm bipolar and you're schizophrenic
So if we're together people are quick to panic
The difference is I'm the better looking one
Sorry, I'm just having a little fun
Trying to bring a little humour to a hard time
I hope you find some light for your dark mind
We're not the closest, but I'm rooting for you
I hope you make it
I'm sorry because I had to say this
The picture isn't beautiful, but it can be depending on how you display it
Categories:
better looking, brother, deep, depression, family,
Form:
Free verse
Love You Any Harder
You might find another man your mister so and so.
Take you places you ain't seen you always hoped to go.
Lots of money in the bank and a whole lot better looking.
Someone who washes pots and pans from all his exotic cooking.
Who wears a custom three piece suit and drives a fancy car.
With a butler or a maid to stock his custom sushi bar.
A doctor or a lawyer too you might find a man that's smarter.
But you ain't ever gonna find a man to love you any harder.
To stand beside you through it all and let the whole world know.
Until I need to step out front and take it blow by blow.
To hold you when the north wind blows and keep you nice and warm.
To fight against the wind and rain to stand against the storm.
Treat you like an angel tell you things will be alright.
Then turn around with lights down low and love you like a devil at night.
Yeah maybe you can find someone you can beg or steal or barter.
But you ain't ever gonna find a man to love you any harder.
Edwin C Hofert
Categories:
better looking, analogy, dedication, girlfriend, imagination,
Form:
Rhyme
Your breath could move mountains
The Himalayas used to be in France
Are you pregnant my sweet young filly
Or is that a watermelon in your pants
I've seen better legs on an orangutang
Nothing personal don't take offence
Turn your head sideways for a moment
Wow! Your nose is quite immense
Now about the patchy hair on your face
Was that from some childhood disease
Your shoes must have to be specially made
Bet you can walk on the Sea of Galilee
Your eyes are like deep cesspools
Your lips remind me of a rubber dinghy
But aside from all these strange features
You're better looking than my friend Jimmy
© Jack Ellison 2014
Categories:
better looking, humorous,
Form:
Quatrain
My
Doctors'
surgery could
do with some music.
And some decent lighting.
And better looking receptionists.
And possibly a dancing pole in the middle.
Oh and a Buffet.
Categories:
better looking, funny, health,
Form:
Free verse
4/3/2025
No, it was not a dream at all….
I was with George Chakiris by my personal request.
No,I was not in with crazed teeny boppers in a hall.
It was just George and I, from whom, I chose to learn from the best!
I wish I could tell you how many times I saw,” West Side Story.”
That night , we met, he was performing in Chicago at Mr. Kelly’s!
He is far better looking, performing in person,’ tis his glory..
I was doing stand-up comedy then, and asking for a personal input!
My entire being shook as jelly.
The manager whispered “it’s time for your meeting with Mr. Chakiris now!”
I did not what to do, I thought perhaps it was time to bend my knee and genuflect.!
The manager took me to his room, he was so very tall, I breathed holy cow!
I almost fainted,when he came right into my face, was I fascinated by my bodysuit. That said France on the left side..
George asked me how can I help you and I told him, “ to improve my stage
presence.”
I never experienced such an ‘electric-blue’sensuosity.
It was as though,I were with a god from Olympus.
Whence came his beauteous, hypmotic soul’s electricity?
His gift lives on ……and shines forever in me!
Lesson..”A beautiful life is created, by you being you!” By Pangie Romios
Categories:
better looking, chicago, remember,
Form:
Rhyme
Words Are All I Have To Take Your Heart Away
by Rick Rucker
I don’t look like a movie star,
Many others are better looking, by far.
I also am not all that tall,
Some might say that I am small.
Youth has left me, won’t return,
But Love’s fires inside me burn.
You will never have to wonder
If, by choosing me, you made a blunder
I will shower you with Love
Always hold you far above
Anything else I care about.
Your praises I will ever shout.
Faithfulness will not be a worry,
And, if I seem to be in a hurry,
I have searched my heart and found
My love for you has no bound
I have tried to think of how to win,
From you, an everlasting grin,
That warms me from my head to feet,
And makes you give me kisses sweet.
I cannot weave a magic spell
Concoct a potion with an evil smell,
Or give you all the kingdom’s jewels,
I fear that I don’t have the tools!
There is only one thing that I have,
It is not a wondrous salve,
It might not be strong enough
To scale the wall around your heart, so tough.
Though I will likely fail
Your fortress I will constantly assail
As long as you will let me try
For, if I had your love, I’d fly!
Soaring way above the serfs below
Bathed in your warming glow
Able to defeat a dragon
Outrun a horse, or lift a wagon!
I could do all of these I feel
If I could but your heart steal.
Now, back to the thing I hold,
Nothing really, were I not bold.
The greatest gift that I can give
Are words to you that live
That surround in a gentle glow
And ever let you know
That from your side, I will never go
Through life we will always go
My words will massage your heart so sweetly
And let you know that I love you, so completely
I hope my words will win your heart
I cannot live if we’re apart
I now await your answer
Doubt attacking me like cancer
Please tell me, will I be proud?
Or exist forever beneath a cloud
Bereft of Love,
Seeing vultures of black above?
Categories:
better looking, lovewords, me, heart, heart,
Form:
Rhyme
Battle Scarred Card
Saw battle scared card which had been barred
Entering America and voting does seem so hard
Number crossing is small like a tiny thimble
And of poverty is becoming a great symbol.
Walls were assembled where names were etched
Number coming to America again was stretched
So we could prevent crime and urban sprawl
With warped sense of humor said build a wall.
Mexican leader Trump he endures and endures
And said his wife is better looking than yours
We knew Trump's deck was not fully loaded
You should see his hair orange and corroded.
Jim Horn
No telling where all of this will end up going
And have heard that up people are throwing.
Categories:
better looking, allegory, analogy, humorous,
Form:
Couplet
I sit by a tinted window
Trying to clear its haziness
Rubbing my eyes, hoping the world will not look at me in misty eyes
Day upon day I sit at my window's tinted windowsill
Hoping for a new better looking day
My mind is an amalgamation of thoughts
Each fighting for survival
Hungry for their need to be fulfilled
Neither pacing nor calming
I open my tinted window
Hoping the fresh air will lift this heaviness
Of unwanted confusion
Perhaps my perception is what clouds me
From this outside world
Of connected pathways
And waiting choices
Categories:
better looking, confusion, emotions,
Form:
Oh, dear hart, you are such a deer, dear.
I know sweets, but it is lonely up here,
at the top.
But never fear
although I have no earthly peer,
no need for you to shed a tear.
I’m sure you could replace me within in a year, or two, or five, maybe.????
Oh, dear hart.
Never could I find another coat so red
with fourteen points on his head.
He would already be in someone else’s bed.
Sweets, it’s true! I’ve heard it said.
But, we just have to take what comes, no matter the cost.
Or else my image could be lost
my beauty I value most
next to that I can’t be bossed
I’ll never depend on a salt lick post.
I’m wild and wooly and free to roam
the big tree country is my home
I’m faster, stronger, better looking and have more under my dome
and to put it in the vernacular
all I need is a bus token and a one call cell phone
I’m sitting on ready- - - - - - - - - -OOOPS???
Dear Hart speak to me.
Is that blood, coming off of your nose,
from that big round hole between your eyes.
Please say you’ll come back to me as, as, as,
SOMETHING ??
Hey, sweets, look over here. NO, over —down here--
the little black one with a white stripe down my back.
I don’t know how this is going to work out
but did you ever see anything so gorgeous, so fine.
Hey, where are you going? What are you following him for?
Hmmmmm????? What’s that smell seems to be following me.?
Categories:
better looking, fantasy, funny, me,
Form:
Rhyme