Best Ammonia Poems
After Legend got blown up along with
all of the city zombies,
I was now the sole survivor and sick and tired of
hiding out at Hobby Lobby,
bored of making necklaces, soaps and candles
and doll houses every single day,
I decided hunting countryside zombies should make
up a good part of my day,
deciding to lure all of them south to the Everglades,
that way the alligators down there could have a feeding frenzy day,
running down there as if I were a female Forrest Gump,
the zombies right behind me slowly catching up,
finally making it the edge of the great swamp,
I lured the zombies close by and heard my first chomp,
taking a risk with my ammonia and urine alligator repellant
sprayed all over me,
the alligators came out snatching and eating all the zombies
except for me,
thank God because it gave me time to flee,
desperately searching for a bathroom around the glades,
from drinking on my run down there way too much Gatorade.
10-30-16
My friends say this magnificent rose
Gives off the most wonderful aroma of spring
I am catching a scent somewhat obscure
As yet no recognizable thing
For I'm losing the sense
Of smell in my nose
Perhaps what I'm smelling
Though peculiar and unselling
Is this lovely flower
This most fragrant rose
Most likely it's the pasture
Expelling natural gas
Which is nostalgic and familiar
With its hint of ammonia and pungent aroma
But, I fear, even this shall pass
There's the most angelic sound in the meadow nearby
That is what my lovely neighbor conveys
She jots down the melody with each bar and clef
For I cannot hear it
I am practically deaf
But I do hear the shrill voice
Of my neighbor's young lass
Which is nostalgic and familiar
Though disconcerting and frightful
And never delightful
I fear, even this shall pass
The most beautiful creature stops at my house
It arrives every day to feed
This is just what I've heard
To me it's all blurred
For a new pair of glasses I need
But I do see the glare
From a bonfire of grass
Which is nostalgic and familiar
Though odious and weedy
And noxiously seedy
I fear, even this shall pass
My neighbor is bringing a dinner she will baste
Which others around highly praise
The sensation for me is hardly a meal
I have lost the better part of my taste
But I savor the peppers
She always brings me in mass
Which are nostalgic and familiar
Though indigestible and spicy
And especially dicey
I fear, even this shall pass
I fondly remember my wife's gentle touch
But this sense too I now lack
If it weren't for the fall
I'd have no sensation at all
But, for these sharp piercing pains
Down my back - Alas! Alas!
While nostalgic and familiar
And though crippling and painful
It is nothing disdainful
And I fear, even this shall pass
Now when I'm gone all will be quite sublime
I will have transcended to the sixth sense
I will be free as a bird
Free from the limits of time
Reunited with the Lord of Providence
smells like teen spirit
the impulse and ammonia
lynx and mary jane
heated hormone heavy air
fogs the windows of the bus
by gail
Piles upon piles of dust and mold
Gather in a large closet up in the attic,
Where junk of memorabilia resides
Untouched for years as I scan the heap
Of treasures accumulated: a prom's corsage
At 17, shelves of dresses, high-heels that
Tell me now I have grown four sizes larger!
Paperbacks circa 1980, eaten by bugs
from a Literature nerd in grade school...
Journals theater souvenirs looking like
Fossilized antiques from medieval ages,
Along with broken Parker pens and oil
Tubes defying a frustrated artist,
With drawers of lace, beads, threads
As glue guns ( in yellow) stick on interior- design
Folders: then to reach out for music records;
Dollars saved in a jar as a novice in advertising:
Oh the thongs , underwear kept in cedar boxes--
A vision of dates with sleek metro princes,
Discoing on till they turn into wimpy frogs...
How chlorine scent jams my nostrils as I clear
The unwanted pile-- mounds of pile that
Stain my dingy face my hair a rocker's mop.
Die as I flood you with ammonia !
Not the keepsakes...but those stinking fungi!
3/2/2017
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Thailand,
Or Kensington?
Tinfoil from a Kit-Kat,
Tells you that there’s no difference,
Outside,
Cocaine,
Ammonia,
Old Martell miniature,
A Bic lighter; a mound of ash,
Bangkok?
Fly south
Like Garuda,
Drift off to Koh Samui,
A Beach house, Or Council estate?
Who cares?
Wake up,
Burnt down candles,
Landlord on the doorstep
‘Last weeks rent?’ ‘Giro on Thursday…
…Get lost…’
creaking rust
spread to my tissues
am growing masses of
bulges appear out of hi-
ding sweat trickles odour
of yesterday humming like
tropical mosquitoes escalati-
ng the growth of surreptitious
microorganisms girls on the bikes
giggling and gossiping i watch like
a saint middle aged mamas perspiri-
ng ammonia and urea swirl in artifici
al air black clad masters instructing lov
I was walking in the countryside with my two best friends
We didn't see the tractor that was coming round the bend
The farmer was spreading liquid manure and it sure did stink
He meant to turn the spreader off but he did not think.
The solution had a stench of ammonia mixed with poo
It absolutely coated me but it missed the other two
They are crying with laughing at my misfortune
But when I drive them home they will change their tune.
Darren wants to drive us home, oh boy there is a smell
Shame the car has leather seats, to clean them will be hell
I get Jenny to sit in the front next to my handsome man
She’s lucky the car has air con and is sitting next to the fan
I sit on the back seat with my hand covering my nose
Wish I was in Darren's garden I’d prefer to smell a purple rose
Jenny is quite happy she’s got her hand on Darren’s knee
I tell her to remove it - he’s MY man and I can see
We drop Jenny home so it’s now just Darren and me
He’s off to have a shower or share a bath tee hee hee
6th July 2014-07-06
Written by JADAZZLE ~ Jan Allison & Darren Watson
Gas prices on the rise again?
Folks don't know what to do?
I've found a tiny solution,
It's fuel made of doggie doo!
Several pints of canola oil,
Perhaps an egg or two;
Stir in a quart of bourbon,
Add ammonia and borax too!
A touch of secret ingredients,
I can't share more with you;
Now just a touch to set it off,
It's good ol' doggie doo!
I've got me the biggest shovel,
I'm attackin' every lawn;
Draggin' behind a garbage can,
I'm scoopin' 'til the break of dawn!
An outdoor lab in the yard,
Plus granma's rusty kettle;
Mix in all the components,
While the dog doo tests my mettle!
A hard day's work equals fuel,
Enough to last three weeks;
My face is turnin' black and blue,
On both sides of my cheeks!
With a funnel, I'm pourin' it in,
I can't wait to turn the ignition;
"WHAM! BOOM!...KA-POW!!"
This car's on a brand new mission!
Cruisin' around the neighborhood,
I'm giddy as a goofy lark;
My wife prefers to take the bus,
While I'm drivin' through the park!
A hundred miles per gallon,
Zero to sixty in three;
Don't tell nobody in politics,
Especially those in D.C.!
Someday I'll be a billionaire,
Go ahead, call me a fool;
Who would believe a country bum,
That plays with doggie doo?
Aquarium with green lush moss gives a fish a habitat
Ph is an important part not too low, neutral is a safe state
Overfeeding is a disaster such unpleasant smells and algea blooms
you'll want to move into another room
Across the tank the fish like to swim darting in between plant leaves.
Snails like to stick on the walls eating little algea pieces and water fleas.
Snails are tastey to the old clown loach He can crunch and munch.
Trapdoor, mystery purple and orange, olive nirite look like little Mr. Magoos
Mystery is the most beautiful if ever in the notion to adopt a snail pet.
Beware potassium permanganese can kill snails and shrimp.
Cherry red shrimp are the cutest little guys; only an inch long full grown.
No better swimmer has ever been known!
Marimo is a legend of the orient kept for good luck and serenity.
Koi are not coy so don't be decieved they get quite large and spit for attention.
Gold fish are such a simple little fish bright and personable
Gold fish have a lot of ammonia which causes the fin rot.
Aquariums are not for the easily discouraged....
Fish are a wonderful enjoyment but sadness overcomes when life is cut short.
nothing like a good cry
you know you got it right
the ammonia filling your nose
you know you got it might
no wimps no tears just a total deluge
a cleanse of heart to meet no harm
Encore, home, I hear a bang while entering the garage door
Indoor, my spouse is shaking, standing next to the drawer
Unsure why she is possessing the Glock purchased from the store
Odor of iron and ammonia, our kid is on the floor
Minor wound, the teen stands up and lets out a horrific roar
Scare by the unbelievable from a nightmare's tales folklore
Aware of a bat in the corner, I end the sophomore
Poor neighborhood friend, injured, limps over to the sycamore
“You’re one of these creatures?" I implore shouting over this new war
Assure. I am for moving to the islands off Ecuador
BOO - Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Alexis Y. Updated 5/14/2019
Alkaline
Ammonia
Toxin
Water
Surfing On Saturn’s Rings
Floating on the outer Phobe Ring with Saturn rising
Out of reach at supersonic speed, above ecliptic's cryptic spokes
Ready to fill the cavities of meteoroids for surfing at approach
Jet wave propulsion bounding from ring to ring upon my star board
Surfing alien surfaces, curling, singing through the systems swirling wheel
Sailing over micro rocks with glowing tiny asteroids of snow and ice
Into star dust clouds with a myriad of oddly shaped blue spikes
Down between the “D” and “A” Rings where moon particles converge
Pulled from left to right at cosmic speeds to reach its soul
With gravity as the key to force me through
Satellites are stretching, emerging on the deep
My equipment for this system is from Mars
Imports from the far off planet
Made from silver, titanium, and molten crystal beads
A surf board to the stars is starving for a start on micro parts
I come up for air above the “G” Ring, to see the giants staring there
Saturn with Titan by its side, filling in the foreign sky
Weighing down on me with ammonia oceans smiles at my size
On the horizon of Saturnian orchestrated rings
Meteoroids spin, singing on the beams of light
Envisions of a new world order
Have infected
My ideologies
Concerning political parties.
Apathetic to the suicide bomber
Clutching his holy scripture
As Jesus is turned
Into an aborted fetus.
Starving for liberation,
Feed us.
The refugee diet
Is to die for, try it.
Stomachs bellow
As anxious toes embrace dirt,
The ravenous pride of the nation
Echoes anticipation.
A scrambled breakfast
Governed by corruption
Served with a life time
Supply of fervent AIDS
Lunch smothered in rape
With a free side of abduction
For the main course:
Genocide platter
Mass produced for thousands
Guaranteed to be
The last meal you'll need.
Original recipe
Provided by Chef Hitler
Improved by Africans.
Honor roll,
Honorable
But when you're in the projects
Good grades
Don't stop strays
Or minimum wage
This is a power point;
Bullet points puncture.
Marauder role models
Personal drive
Is micro soft
Where are their goals?
Error: Can Not Find File
Link to ambition missing
No need to excel
Brain is a blank desktop
That's screen saver
Screams for a savior
Poverty striken hompage
Frozen
Black plague virus
No chance at
Socio-economic advance
Now tomorrow you face book
Crash.
A diploma and welfare check,
Makeshift teflon vest,
At best
Yet,
A mic or a round ball
Provides the best bet.
At ease soldier,
No questions vet.
We don't ask
You don't tell.
Afterall,
We don't even know
What your really fighting for
Or whether you aim to please
Or shoot to kill.
America was stolen from natives,
Built by immigrants.
Dear foreigners,
Thank you for making our bed,
Now sleep outside
Where the homeless won't
But beware of dehydration
Land mines
Barbed wires
And snipers.
P.S. Happy Thanksgiving.
Sincerely,
Your friends in America
I see society with my eyes closed
And wade for the truth.
Diving into the obscure
Pits of morality
Searching blindly
For enlightenment,
Butterfly stroke.
Inhaling the souls of slaves
Exhaling the souls of colonists
Civil rights submerged
Drowning at the border
Gasping for freedom.
This oppression is toxic.
Ammonia aroma
Intellectual paralysis
Socially concious coma.
Divided we've stood
United we'll fall.
-Stephen Kofi Opare Obeng
Nature is a fugitive here now
the air thick with metallic salt
silver waves lap a barren shore
Governments bend and lie
as we all do – yet a silent army
of synthetic colors and dyes
march on attacking the palette
O alumina! O ammonia!
Fill me with your artifice!
Yellow cakes
Red sauces
Purple candies
Orange creams
Blue cereals
Green soups
Let your conspiracy of agents
wash over me - violate my organs
destroy my mind and memory but
never leave me without the taste of you
Firming agents
Coloring agents
Anticaking agents
Neutralizing agents
Dough strengtheners
Emulsifying agents
Stabilizers and thickeners
Leavening agents
Curing agents
I have never needed you
and have never wanted you
even though they claim you
are generally recognized as safe
Yellow cheeses
Red icings
Purple lozenges
Orange liquids
Blue creams
Green gums
The experiments began long ago
handshakes with a toothless FDA
a rainbow of profits for sellers all
But the pain you leave behind
is a story that has never been told
the proof is a truth held hostage
You have never really been scolded
never have felt any sense of shame
but we know all of your names now