narcissists with huge egos slither and slink ~ hmmm, what would Rumi think
a sly smile on their lips, thinking it's a disguise ~ not from many eyes
having an overly aggressive attitude ~ it's just plain a-rse rude
they are like lemons with sour zest ~ for goodness sake, please give it a rest
Categories:
arse, conflict,
Form: Monoku
**** Hat
The American was an **** hat
A real screw ball idiot
Who didn’t care what people thought
She did this and that what she wanted
A new tattoo left nipple coloured dark green
Right ear extended elf like
Having sex with 70 year old men
Just for the Hell of it
Not to get their cash
A real **** hat gal
She was a local character
One whom people detested
Crossed the road to avoid
Yet she was smart could argue
On vague stupid topics
Her real name was Dawn
In reality they called her slang
Names unprintable here
She’s the **** hat gal
Full of crap a real lunkhead
Imagine if you were her
So full of **** hat !
Categories:
arse, crazy, funny, rude, satire,
Form: Free verse
"****"
F you
if you
drop
your
"R's"
because
then
friend
becomes
fiend
Categories:
arse, color,
Form: Free verse
running in the groove
needle follows at speed
hear the record
skip as the needle
slices through my lump
Dying in vinyl crevice
oil slick sides
unable to climb
needle coming round again
jumping for the last time
Categories:
arse, poetry,
Form: Free verse
She would not understand specificity
If it bit her in the ****,
If it smacked her in the eye, or if it
Rolled her around in a bed.
“All green-eyed people have fat legs,” she says.
What about her? I ask.
“She is the exception,” she states, generalizing everyone.
“All caramel haired people wear beanies.”
What about that one? I point out.
“His must have blown off.”
She would not understand specificity
If it struck her cheek,
or double cheeks,
or ran over her foot in a car.
“All size 9 people wear open-toed shoes.”
Even in the winter? I ask.
“Especially in the winter,” she explains.
Has generalizing people ever worked for you? I ask snottily.
“Of course,” she replies. “I am a people expert.”
Specificity, a words she will never learn or fully-know.
Written: 4-27-2019
Contest: Specificity
Sheri Fresonke Harper
Categories:
arse, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Light Verse
Some use hemorrhoid cream on their face
In my eyes,it is not the right place
But they ‘pile’ it all on
Till the tube is all gone
I won’t use our tube just in case
Just imagine if you’d used your finger
On your piles cos you had a humdinger
But your wrinkles need lube
and you reuse that tube
on that note I’ve leave you to linger!!
Based on an article about people using this cream to shrink their facial wrinkles
***** about face means 'something that is contrary to what is expected'
4/14/18
Categories:
arse, age, body, humorous,
Form: Limerick
I had a friend who’s grandfather died someway
The government stole his home away
For his grandmother had Alzheimer’s disease
Think not for herself anymore if you please
So they stole her home to pay for her care
Don’t you think that is so unfair
Grandfather worked hard all his life
To buy a nest for grandmother, his wife
Three boys and a lass too, I am told
So he toiled all his life to buy their abode
Then the government stole it to pay all the fee’s
Because grandmother had Alzheimer’s disease
The government changed all the rules
They treat the hoi polloi like fools
We payed for our care once in the taxes of life
Then they pulled the rug from grandmother his wife
Who had Alzheimer’s disease, to pay all the fee’s
They stole her abode and they put on the squeeze
Grandfather did toil all his life
He toiled for his children and wife
All he did invest, to secure them a nest
Then the government stole it away
There’s a lesson in life to be learned
Be careful with what you have earned
If you have any worth at the end of the day
Then the government will steal it away
Categories:
arse, sin,
Form: Rhyme
Society – me ****
Society, the straight jacket of “socially” acceptable mores,
condemning all to a “one size fits all living coffin.
Social “mores”, cultural cudgels of “independent thought”,
ballyhooing the wonders of our differences
until Society’s sycophancy rears its head in obsequious disapproval.
Societal “Class Warfare” – High Society gazing at the “Waterfront”,
the homeless wrestling the wharf rats for scraps.
Secular secessionists worshiping the gods of political pontification
while the poor listen to the rumble of empty bellies
the elected intelligentsia nudge each other at the trough.
9/21/2016
submitted to – What Is Society? - poetry contest
Categories:
arse, society,
Form: Free verse
Tough in spending even in abundance of resources
Indifference shown to priority of any needed purchase
Giving is rendered a gruesome punishment to mankind
Hall of famer to the accuracy of the expression of feelings
Tight fisted, closed minded and currency conscious in all situations.
A swollen wallet ironically ignites the need for fewer expenses
River accumulating water to the point of flooding but never overflows
So in control of the inside irrespective of the nature of the outside
Even the cheapest budget suffers the axe of a calculative cut down
Categories:
arse, character, life, self,
Form: Acrostic
I understand that getting old
Is just a stage we pass
But can anybody tell me
What happened to my ****?
It used to be quite lively
And a distance from the ground
Ashamed to say it though I am
It used to get around
It was nifty on the dance floor
And comfy on a chair
It was pert and it was bouncy
But now there’s nothing there
And what is there is saggy
And not worthy of remark
Not flattered much by moonlight
Disappointing in the dark
Inevitable, gravity
That’s what it’s all about
In some tired hotel lobby
My butt is checking out
Play a mournful serenade
Sound the final horn
‘Tis off, my sorry ****, beyond
The Tropic of Capricorn
If I’d have seen it leaving
I could have waved goodbye
Packed a flask and sandwich box
And had a little cry
Ageing, such a pantomime
A farce, a silly plot
“It’s behind you!” Not my **** it ain’t
It was, but now is not
So, don’t take your **** for granted
It’s for fun, and sitting on
Enjoy it while you’ve got one
‘Cos you’ll miss it when it’s gone
by Gail
Categories:
arse, age, body, humor, journey,
Form: Rhyme
From poetaster to poet-ass
This ain't no leaf of grass.
Walden's pond is a stinking morass
And love is but blaring brass.
No Elysian fields lie yore
And the meadow is a blooming bore.
Nature is reduced to God's only whore
And all I feel is a whole lot sore.
Jealousy reigns supreme
Oh, why can't I just continue to dream.
If Life's best offer is a Krispy Kreme
Go to Hell if you don't like my scheme.
Categories:
arse, angst,
Form: Rhyme Royal
Shall I compare thee to your mother's ****?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent
Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.
But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.
Categories:
arse, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health,
Form: Sonnet
nine rare **** lickers
In Kim’s windows
Sitting on thorns
Ah.....Sew! poem by Deborah Guzzi (Contest)
Categories:
arse, funny
Form: Haiku
When the skydiver leapt from his plane
What he saw below to his great disdain
Were 'gators flexing their jaws
Expecting grub for their maws
To pursue this sport he must be insane
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 8 in Caroline Devonshire's "To Die For" Limerick Contest - July 2010
Categories:
arse, funny
Form: Limerick