Dear A,
“Do you remember John McLean?” you asked
“He died of an overdose this week past,”
If I remember John McLean? I can see
Him in fractured shadows of memory
Edges curled up with whisky and cigarettes
Our midnight quests for sleaze and side-effects;
While we talked of escape and sought new thrills
Beyond the tollgate and home’s confining hills,
When we searched that night so determinedly
For pills in the nervous light of a pharmacy
Perhaps our adolescent raving dimmed
Some destiny already struggling in him?
Like Eve’s fossil footprints pressed in the dune
On mustard shores along Langebaan lagoon,
All our choices leave their trails, faint remains
Of petrified memory through time-hewn veins
And the blue-black susurrus of his blood
Dried up like Eve’s footprint before the flood.
Ending so sudden, abrupt, unforeseen.
But yes, yes, I do remember John McLean.
Yours sincerely
M.
Black fur, bright sun
The superbolide that kept the night away
Green fields, brown eyes
A happy smile that blazed bright
Brighter than the endless blue skies above her
Home safe in familiar grass
Though riddled throughout and stiff of limb
I'll keep the peaceful smile in mind forever
Sleep tight, my love
You've got friends waiting for you
You've fought long enough
And earned a pleasant rest
Of earth and sea 'neath starry sky
She sleeps in spots most favored
Resting in the endless grass
And bathing in the peaceful stream
Drink deep of the mountain sun
And cool off when you're ready
Play with friends until sunset
And rest beside the fire
I wish I could make yesterday last until the sun died
To rub your fuzzy belly whilst you placed your paw on mine
I'll miss you dearly K, so sleep now without worry
And to my own passing day, you'll be warm inside my memory.
I need you to know, in case I forget
That you are the best friend I've ever had yet
I'm not always good at remembering to call
But I will always be there through sickness and all
It's hard to imagine the times we have spent
Having great laughs and forgetting our rent
If ever you need to call for assistance
Just remember I'm here throughout your existence
No matter what time, no matter how far
I'll be there in a jiffy in my time travelling car
You fill up my mind with your sense of adventure
Though some of our stories won't get through the censure!
Just always be clear on how much you mean
After all, we've been best friends since we were sixteen
“A friend loves at all times...” ~ Proverbs
Lord, as I think about my friend,
my prayer is for You to sustain her
with Your comfort that never ends . . .
Lord, as I think about my friend,
I pray Your love and healing send —
oh! remind her You’ll never leave her!
Lord, as I think about my friend,
my prayer is for You to sustain her
I can picture her on her grey carpet floor
in her 11x10 bedroom.
I see her body,
cold to the touch.
She’s in her royal blue silk pajamas.
Her favorite.
She’s laying on her floor,
with a knife in her right hand,
left at a 103 degree angle upside down.
Feet sickled so much that
they could be twisted off in a second.
I see the blood pouring from not only her wounds,
but her scars.
The nails that dug into her thighs
are bruised from so much pressure.
The thighs that were dug by her nails
are now white.
I can picture her parents walking in,
not even looking at her,
but rather the stain she made
on the newly-replaced carpet.
“Why’d she do that?”
Everyone will ask.
because of me.
I think—
no.
i know.
“I don’t know.”
I’ll say instead.
. for public domain
We throw our hearts away
in the full fury of anger,
of greed,
of grief,
in the full surrender
to the resplendant glory of the highest God,
in Ajuna's thousand suns,
in deepest sleep
in drunkeness,
with strong drugs,
all from which a heart may return.
We throw our hearts away
by not caring anymore
which is the worst,
for when the heart returns,
it finds no receptical
and departs leaving behind only a whisper of dust.
For the heart never dies.
Immortal it forever seeks
a will to live
a will that lives
through the worst that life imposes.
It clings to whoever or whatever
will endure its failings.
Silenus may have been right.
He lived, if for nothing else,
to throw at life his spite
of being thrown into it.
for life was not a blessing,
only a curse. which is something,
I suppose, to get us through the worst of it
where praises and hymns fail.
So curse life to the end,
if for nothing else,
as a witness who testifies
that the heart deserves better.
Sweet September morn Fall's freshness Natural normalcy was all around us
Soon something shifted, shalt not
Killing came - Monumental Madness
Hate hit our twin towers.
Pierced Pentagon caused fiery flames
"Let's Roll" rested in farmer's field
America remember in your darkest moment
Murder fell from the sky the nation united
Etched together forever is your united grief
Remember in that single moment the world
In unison the world came together as one
Choosing to stand side by side as a friend
America your darkest day the world came
Amidst the rocks on the edge of the land
Casting its light, a faithful friend stands.
Low in the shadows of the crests and troughs
Lies hidden danger when seas are rough.
But this lighthouse spreads it's loyal beam
To alert captains to what can't be seen...
A metaphor for a friend like you
Who generously lights up those around her too
Who shares her light of joy and love;
The darkest shadows you rise above.
Thank you for reaching out your hand
Like the faithful guardian sheds its light from the land.
Loss
Of terror I know but one
The loss of all that are close
Her human condition, still stuck in addiction, being spoon-fed the traumas that led to the murder of her best friend,
wounds that left scars, leaving more than just their mark.
An emptiness that grows, a deep yearning in her heart...
I'm bringing this all to my Father in Heaven to stop this tearing in my heart. Please feel my words, hear my hurt.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
When storms get tumultuous and
Shadows press on your mind.
I stay on my toes, never slithering
From my stance.
I talk to you strong until your
Lights aligned
And walk you through whatever
Predicament.
I keep your self- beliefs loaded
And shield your inner vigor
The wind bloweth.......
Bloweth the chaff......
From the grains
The chaff is deserted like the desert
Like the fox in the Maghreb dunes
Deserted like the fig tree in Autumn
That is shedding leaves for winter
They deserted one by one
As they paid their respects
To the departed lying in state
One by one they left as they came
He was left all alone deserted
Death has left its streak of sting
He is a casualty. He is deserted
(Written 11th July, 2015)
stoic expression
though prickly thorns stabbed her breast
silent suffering
lingering sorrow
memories drift unbidden
closure is denied
I waited - but you didn't come
until tomorrows became wishes for yesterday,
when that silly chuckle and knowing brow
made shadows play in
blinding sunsets and
the tired yawns of morning when
you were here...
when - goodbyes then, were only
temporary...but it all
suddenly became forever and
it seems impossible - but
that scratched groove we always
knew - skipped in the exact same place
ta-dum-ta-dum-ta-dum...when
carefree for granteds and
the waking sun would bring... a smile...
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