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MAJOR SOUP EXCLUSIVE: SEAN CONNERY, EAT YOUR HEART OUT! - Keith Trestrail's Blog

About Keith Trestrail
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I am an International Man of Mystery - born in Trinidad, raised in New Zealand, and living in Australia. My earliest influences lyrically were those of the Calypsonians of the 1960s, the greatest being old Birdie himself the Mighty Sparrow as well as the joyful songs of The Merrymen. Later in my teens I was struck by the power of words and language from the mercurial pen of Bob Dylan. The first poem I ever wrote was in 1975 at the age of 14 for a class assignment. I copied the lyrics from the Pink Floyd song "Money" and got a great mark from my teacher, Mrs Laird. She congratulated me on my effort and creativity (something I possessed very little of in school) and so I eventually came clean and had to re-write it. She did commend me on my honesty and choice of lyric though and did what good teachers do...engage and encourage. It could have been worse - I nearly chose a Frank Zappa song that would have been highly inappropriate! My poetry is very much like me - a work in progress! I often revisit and revise my catalogue as I grow as a writer and am grateful for any constructive advice. The real writer and talent in my family is my wife who is more an author than a poet, but she is far too sensible to bare her soul to the world. I, however, am not! I love my golf, my cricket and my Rugby League (that's a similar sport to Rugby for all my non-European/Australasian readers) and support Russell Crowe's team, the mighty South Sydney Rabbitohs and the North Queensland Cowboys in the Australian NRL (National Rugby League). Go the Bunnies and go the Cowboys!


MAJOR SOUP EXCLUSIVE: SEAN CONNERY, EAT YOUR HEART OUT!


Blog Posted:3/18/2017 7:27:00 AM

REUTERS PRESS RELEASE

The creators of the James Bond franchise have decided to go with a more cerebral Bond. You'll still be getting the body of Daniel Craig and the charm of Sean Connery but now an agent with the soul of a poet. I am on location as we speak. I can't give away too much but...in one scene I do have a sonnet cipher I must crack in order to save the world from oblivion.

Naturally I will need a new Bond Girl........any takers?

PS: Miss Swift and I have parted company - I tweeted her this morning as a courtesy rather than having her read it in some sleazy tabloid. There was only enough room between us for one shameless media whore and so that was that. She was heartbroken but something tells me she won't be alone for long.

AGAIN WARNING: THIS IS NOT FAKE NEWS! 

Please Login to post a comment
Date: 3/29/2017 8:43:00 AM
LOL... Dragon wants to be your side kick for comic relief... And he says his fire might come in handy on an chilly early morning set. Besides he's always wanted to wear a tuxedo like his penguin menagerie! You won't need a stunt coordinator with him around. Stunts just seem to come naturally... every where... really!
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Date: 3/24/2017 11:09:00 PM
You crack me up! I actually wrote a crown of sonnets about Bond. And as far as Connery? Dude, there can be only ONE! Haha. Just checking on you, actually. Ahem, I think a friendly toad-troll has been locked out of soup. I haven't seen you about... and I was worried you, too, are denied access to the-land-of-the-humourless. Put a smile in here, when you can. I know you're busy with your own stuff. Anyways, goodnight.
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MacMillan Avatar
Cyndi MacMillan
Date: 3/25/2017 2:40:00 PM
:) Life can get full, even messy. Soup can always wait.
Trestrail Avatar
Keith Trestrail
Date: 3/25/2017 12:53:00 AM
Cyndi, right back at ya. I just got soupmailed by a mysterious gaucho from a great southern land. A land of revolutionaries...a land of Guevara, Maradonna, Peron, and Keyser Soze! Don't worry, we are ready to storm the winter palace. I'm still here - just taking a little break. Got a bit going on. Lovely to hear from you. Now where's that missing toad I wonder?
Date: 3/21/2017 6:29:00 PM
Would I have more lines,than, " Oh James....Oh James."
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Trestrail Avatar
Keith Trestrail
Date: 3/21/2017 9:08:00 PM
Yes Suzanne, but I should mention my favourite Bond Girls were Pussy Galore and Holly Goodhead! And I do expect my Bond Girl to throw herself into the role %100! I'll send you a script.
Date: 3/18/2017 10:14:00 PM
haha! I like these blogs of yours.
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Trestrail Avatar
Keith Trestrail
Date: 3/18/2017 10:26:00 PM
Very clever casting, Andrea. I just need to learn how to play roulette and skydive is all. I have asked Mr Craig for any tips he might have but I already know how to drink martinis!
Date: 3/18/2017 6:02:00 PM
Drone-strike, I was wondering about this part of your wording: "You'll still be getting the body of Daniel Craig..." -- Do you mean, Daniel Craig's body thirty years from now?
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Trestrail Avatar
Keith Trestrail
Date: 3/18/2017 9:07:00 PM
Chris, wrong franchise. This is not Back to the Future. Also, I insisted...no body doubles...and I do my own stunts.
Date: 3/18/2017 2:03:00 PM
Keith, you had me at.... Well, you're actually not there yet. If you look as good in a suit as Cary Grant, then you can count those chickens.
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Trestrail Avatar
Keith Trestrail
Date: 3/18/2017 9:20:00 PM
Doug, I've never worn a suit in my life but I have worn a tux. Don't tell anyone but I hide my concealed weapon in my cummerbund!
Date: 3/18/2017 10:25:00 AM
Trestrail..Keith Trestrail at your service Miss MoneyPenny
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Trestrail Avatar
Keith Trestrail
Date: 3/18/2017 9:10:00 PM
Poor Moneypenny! She never gets her man. Don't worry, Frederic, I've got plans for Moneypenny!!!
Date: 3/18/2017 7:30:00 AM
Thanks for the giggle Keith ...I'm shaken but not stirred at the news of you having a swift exit from your relationship with Taylor lol:-) hugs Jan xx
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Trestrail Avatar
Keith Trestrail
Date: 3/18/2017 9:11:00 PM
Jan, I've got a license to thrill. Wanna be a Bond Girl?

My Past Blog Posts

 
Riddler Strikes Again
Date Posted: 8/15/2017 10:36:00 PM
It's Riddle Time!
Date Posted: 8/14/2017 3:01:00 AM
I TOO WILL BE DOWN FOR MAINTENANCE!
Date Posted: 6/23/2017 12:17:00 AM
STATE OF ORIGIN
Date Posted: 5/30/2017 10:55:00 PM
WHO WOULD YOU INVITE?
Date Posted: 5/3/2017 2:05:00 AM
A Technical Glitch or Something Else?
Date Posted: 4/2/2017 4:54:00 PM
MAJOR SOUP EXCLUSIVE: SEAN CONNERY, EAT YOUR HEART OUT!
Date Posted: 3/18/2017 7:27:00 AM
I'VE BEEN OUTED - DAM PAPARAZZI
Date Posted: 3/12/2017 9:10:00 AM
THE DAY THE MUSIC DIED!
Date Posted: 1/25/2017 8:31:00 AM
A life over before it's begun!
Date Posted: 9/9/2016 9:28:00 PM
The Place I Call Home!
Date Posted: 6/19/2016 9:57:00 PM
My USB stick wiped itself - HELP!
Date Posted: 3/22/2016 9:20:00 PM
Major Sullivan Ballou's last letter home!
Date Posted: 3/8/2016 6:15:00 PM
I'm Screwed - I forgot it was your birthday
Date Posted: 2/22/2016 5:06:00 PM
I know it's been said a thousand times before but...
Date Posted: 12/18/2015 7:37:00 PM
What the World Needs Now...
Date Posted: 12/13/2015 6:39:00 PM
Who Killed JonBenet?
Date Posted: 11/28/2015 7:11:00 AM
The Music of Our Lives - a fun exercise!
Date Posted: 11/23/2015 6:25:00 PM
I'm a techno-tragic: I need your help!
Date Posted: 9/5/2015 3:06:00 AM
Not complaining...just saying...
Date Posted: 7/4/2015 2:44:00 AM
A Fun Exercise
Date Posted: 5/18/2015 7:04:00 AM

My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoemTitleFormCategories
6/23/2017 Forest Sonnetnature,
6/8/2017 Opposites Attract Monokuhumorous,
5/20/2017 Southern Cross - The Old Lady of the Sea Balladleaving,nostalgia,travel,
10/4/2016 Where I Live Free versehome,
8/22/2016 The Broken-hearted Monokuheartbreak,
8/20/2016 Scared Stiff Monokuhumorous,
8/16/2016 Ballad of Joyce Hill Balladeulogy,goodbye,tribute,
8/11/2016 My Heavenly Father Kyriellefaith,god,
7/29/2016 Monicagate - to Stain or Abstain Limerickhumorous,political,
7/21/2016 Why Hillary Should Wear Flame Retardant Pantsuits Limerickcorruption,leadership,pol
7/12/2016 Making Hay While the Sun Shines Rhymenostalgia,summer,youth,
7/8/2016 It's True Monokugender,
4/12/2016 To Oscar on His 16th Birthday Sonnetbirthday,blessing,son,
2/24/2016 Batter Up Limerickfun,silly,
2/22/2016 The Human Formula Monokulife,
2/20/2016 No Hurry Limerickfun,humorous,
2/14/2016 Confessions of a Teenage Boy 3 Limerickboy,humorous,teenage,
2/2/2016 Fire Haikufire,nature,
1/26/2016 When I Was Ten Coupletchildhood,school,
1/17/2016 Here's Why My CV Needs Work Biodrug,fun,silly,
1/14/2016 A Trini Abroad Limerickfun,rude,social,
1/13/2016 Forrest Trump Limerickpolitical,satire,
1/11/2016 Wisdom Senryuwisdom,
1/10/2016 Hillary Clinton Limerickpolitical,
1/7/2016 Confessions of a Teenage Boy 2 Limerickboy,desire,growing up,
12/24/2015 Confessions of a Teenage Boy Limerickchristmas,humorous,boy,
12/16/2015 George Armstrong Custer Clerihewgiggle,
12/13/2015 Amazing Grace Monokufaith,inspiration,
12/12/2015 Butterfly Effect Limerickallegory,butterfly,sensua
12/11/2015 Spooky Monokuhumor,
12/11/2015 Battle of the Sexes Monokulife,
12/10/2015 Attention: Alliteration Ahead Alliterationirony,
12/8/2015 Sport Monokusports,
12/6/2015 Family Monokufamily,
12/4/2015 Date Night Monokudesire,
12/1/2015 Beyond Reasonable Doubt Narrativecorruption,murder,mystery
11/28/2015 Who Killed JonBenet Rhymedeath,judgement,murder,
10/20/2015 The Jack of Hearts Balladhumorous,nostalgia,
8/18/2015 Argus Sonnetdedication,music,
7/20/2015 Flag of My Fathers Senryuhistory,patriotic,
7/7/2015 Sharapova Footlefun,sports,
7/5/2015 Red Waltz Versecolor,i love you,love,
7/2/2015 Drunken Moon Haikudrink,moon,
7/1/2015 Glacier Haikunature,
6/29/2015 Twins Limerickconfusion,funny,
6/27/2015 Forest With No Trees Haikuenvironment,nature,
6/25/2015 Nevermore Quintain (English)metaphor,religious,
6/20/2015 I Exist Senryulife,
6/18/2015 Eve of Destruction Tankaenvironment,life,
6/16/2015 A Rat's Tale Coupletpets,
6/14/2015 The Eyes Have It Rhymebeauty,
6/10/2015 Seek Versefaith,god,
6/8/2015 Idols Tankahow i feel,
6/4/2015 God Save the Queen Limerickpower,relationship,
5/31/2015 Edward Snowden Clerihewmissing,political,
5/30/2015 Kim Kardashian West Clerihewcelebrity,funny,
5/29/2015 Arnold Schwarzenegger Clerihewfunny,
5/28/2015 Custer Limerickfunny,history,military,
5/27/2015 Barefoot in the Park Limerickadventure,lost,
5/24/2015 Picture Perfect Haikubeauty,nature,
5/23/2015 Western Springs Rhymemusic,nostalgia,
5/21/2015 Now That's a Fairytale Limerickfunny,humorous,
5/20/2015 The Unkindest Cut of All Limerickfunny,humorous,
5/17/2015 Bankers - More Like Bandits Limerickfunny,humorous,
5/13/2015 Hemingway and Wilde Limerickfunny,humorous,
5/12/2015 The Art of Age Limerickage,life,
5/9/2015 Everyone Needs a Hobby Limerickfunny,humorous,
5/6/2015 Safe Sex Limerickfunny,humorous,
4/30/2015 Pick Up Line Free versefunny,humorous,
4/30/2015 Quickdraw Limerickfunny,humorous,
4/29/2015 Romans 11:17 Limerickallegory,bible,faith,
4/26/2015 Smart and Sexy Limerickfunny,humorous,
4/25/2015 Anzacs Limerickanniversary,war,
3/30/2015 Beer Goggles Limerickbeauty,funny,humorous,
3/25/2015 The Incorruption of Youth Tankachildren,innocence,
3/19/2015 He Winks At Us All Haikudeath,
3/18/2015 Human Highway Haikulife,
3/15/2015 How Great Thou Art Acrosticfather,
3/15/2015 An African Tale Tankaafrica,death,
3/15/2015 Paradise Lost Haikubeauty,lost,nature,
3/12/2015 Geisha Haikuseasons,spring,
3/11/2015 Life Haikulife,mystery,
3/10/2015 Springtime Haikuspring,
3/10/2015 Death Comes To Us All Senryudeath,father,life,mother,
3/8/2015 Crimes of Passion Senryuheartbreak,love,
2/28/2015 To Oscar on His 15th Birthday Sonnetbirthday,child,son,
12/16/2014 Kiss of Time Sonnetintrospection,
12/14/2014 Christmas Eve Sonnetchristmas,
10/14/2014 When Bad Things Happen to Good People Limerickbeach,fun,funny,
9/17/2014 To Oscar on His 5th Birthday Sonnetbirthday,son,
9/16/2014 I Just Can't Win Limerickfunny,humorous,marriage,
9/11/2014 Romance in Durango Limerickdance,funny,lust,
9/9/2014 Action, Not Words in a Singles Bar Limerickfunny,social,
9/7/2014 My Lawyer the Idiot Limerickfunny,life,
9/4/2014 The Gates Below Sonnetdeath,mythology,
9/4/2014 To Oscar on His 6th Birthday Sonnetbirthday,son,
9/3/2014 A Nightmare Blind Date Senryupeople,rude,social,
8/31/2014 Death and Taxes Limerickdeath,funny,
8/31/2014 For Stevo Down on the Farm Limerickfarm,friend,funny,
8/31/2014 War on Terror Limerickanger,fear,hate,

My Photos


Fav Poems

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The Stone Balladbody,death,fantasy,kiss,l

Fav Poets