MAJOR SOUP EXCLUSIVE: SEAN CONNERY, EAT YOUR HEART OUT!
Blog Posted:3/18/2017 7:27:00 AM
REUTERS PRESS RELEASE
The creators of the James Bond franchise have decided to go with a more cerebral Bond. You'll still be getting the body of Daniel Craig and the charm of Sean Connery but now an agent with the soul of a poet. I am on location as we speak. I can't give away too much but...in one scene I do have a sonnet cipher I must crack in order to save the world from oblivion.
Naturally I will need a new Bond Girl........any takers?
PS: Miss Swift and I have parted company - I tweeted her this morning as a courtesy rather than having her read it in some sleazy tabloid. There was only enough room between us for one shameless media whore and so that was that. She was heartbroken but something tells me she won't be alone for long.
AGAIN WARNING: THIS IS NOT FAKE NEWS!