Woodchuck Poems

autumn

autumnal colors
close neighboring planet skies
equinox sunsets

red hue leaves tussle
woodchuck pops from its burrow
dog sniff, yelps in pain

quiver across limbs
perching mockingbird's mimic
nightly shooting stars

9/18/2024

The Perfect Quokka For Me

Is it a woodchuck, a beaver, a miniature bear?
No but it is Australian, and it looks like it does not have a care.
I look at this little fellow, his smile is enormous and wide.
I cannot help it, my happy feelings about him I simply cannot hide.

A quokka, for real? I have never heard of this
He has a beautiful look, he looks full of incredible bliss.
I have seen several photos of more than six actually.
They each look about as happy as a wild animal can be

If I get to Australia, I plan to look one up in the wild.
I have faith he will become a crazy friend, not any way mild.
The photos I see make a quokka look human friendly.
I am excited to begin my hunt for the perfect quokka for me.

Dumbstruck-Dk

I’m dumbstruck by the good luck
Of a woodchuck on a spree
The harmony of living well
And laughing heartily 

But still, I often wonder
In a jungle canopy
If nature is the nurture
Of the forest or a tree

When lightning bolts and thunder
Break asunder by and by
They scare the ones down under
By the wonder in the sky

But they are not a vain glow
By the time I hear a sigh
For tears become a rainbow
When I hear a lullaby

I’m dumbstruck by the numb chuck
With a big truck full of wood
The hacker in a whacker
With a backer in the hood

For love is true devotion 
By the notion that we should
The logic of emotion
By the healing hand of good.


Submitted to the
"Dumbstruck" Poetry Contest 
on 8/12/2021
Sponsored by Charles Messina

Woodchuck

STUCK LIKE CHUCK
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck's luck was sucked and fukked up and struck by upchuck?
Upchucked struck, sucked and fukked luck like a stuck up duck with a stuck dumptruck and twenty two bucks,
how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood real good where he should?
I got a fuuck for a duck, a duck for a k, and a twenty dollar bill for a fukked up duck, and I don't give a fukk how much a woodchuck chucks fukk A ducK

M Is For Mammoth

M is for mammoth, big as a barn,
with long woolly hair that's much warmer than yarn.
He's 15 feet tall from his toes to his head,
(much too big to keep in the gardening shed)
He's got really big tusks and he weighs 13 ton,
and he stomps on saber tooth tigers for fun.
He wandered the plains munching bushes and grass,
when a blizzard surprised him and froze his fat mass.
5000 years later when the weather was nice,
it thawed just a bit and he burst from the ice!
The scientists flocked round to skin and de-bone him,
with a bunch right behind who were hankerin' to clone him.
If the cloning succeeds and the Doc's have their way,
We'll be hip deep in mammoths the very next day!
Then us gardening folk can despair of our broccoli,
cause its tough enough dealing with crows by the flockly,
and raccoons by night, and woodchuck by day, 
and running 'round chasing Mizz Bunny away.
We all know for a fact that no chicken wire fence,
will keep out a mammoth. (they're just too immense)

Help the Woodchuck

Help The Wood Chuck
blame it on the wilderness
through trees of Ever green nature
build up to falter with news due father
in busy problems to fester
shout to the Lord;

built on the driven belonging
savor another we caress the elder
the mere wood chuck left alone at night
a given pierced hand at night

lift to shelter among the basin pews
below we charge the hand that had dealt the pain...

A Pickled Piper

Peter Piper picked a peck
Of pickled peckers...
After the laughter subsided
I was in a peck of trouble,
In a real pickle so to speak.
Thank god he wasn't a woodchuck.
I'd still be saying Hail Mary's.

2/15/2020

For Wards

i can't just say
four words and
then remain 
sigh lent

so though you sent
me that word
i must doe re 
me spond

whackadoo but
whackadon't and
let's not forget
knick knack patty

whack but you
have to ask
yourself 
how much

wood could a
woodchuck
chuck if a
wood 

chuck
would
chuck
wood

i will give you
the answer as
soon as i give
one hundred

monkeys one
hundred type
writers with
paper and

pray
not to
get an
output 

of
shake
speare

Up-Chucking

Limerick based on the quote:

"How much wood, would a woodchuck chuck,
if a woodchuck could chuck wood." 


If a woodchuck could chuck down sand,
would he up-chuck in his right hand?
The sand is too dry,
he’d begin to cry,
he’d say, “the dust is just too bland!”

If a woodchuck could chuck down crap,
would he up-chuck right in his lap?
It’s smelly, you see,
“why can’t I drink pee?
Oh, maybe I’ll trade it for sap…”

If a woodchuck could chuck down wood,
would he up-chuck right where he stood?
"Too many splinters,
down through my sphincter!"
Oh, if only a woodchuck could…


Syllable count 8-8-5-5-8
February 25, 2017

Bucking Did Duck Did Chuck

Bucking Did Duck Did Chuck


Have you ever seen a bucking duck cluck?
Maybe he fell down and did not suck
Into the oats and grain for he could not duck
The bucking, clucking, duck could not fill up on muck
Could he wallop an ugly duck of Chuck’s wallop of pucks?
Of woodchuck, woodchuck then maybe he should pluck, duck.


Written: 11/26/14
Theresa Marie Hummingbird

Clunky: the Movie

MA MAIN MAN STAN GRAHAM JAMMIN WITH THE BAND ON THE GRANDSTAND, I SAID WUDDUP CHUCK GIMME A CHERRY SLUSH AND PLAY THE WOODCHUCK SONG, GO OUT BACK HIND THE PORTOJOHNS AND HIT THE BONG, AIN'T NOTHIN WRONG WITH THOSE $3.97 CIGARETTES

Nature Rests

Away in the far distance
snow piles high in the mountains
while rain clouds are gathering
over our valley.

Every day the snow deepens
and rain clouds aren’t dispersing.
There’s no use to grumble in
dark days of winter.

Bulbs in their beds are bursting
and reaching for the daylight.
So eager  to welcome Spring,
they risk a frost bite.

Chuck the woodchuck sees shadow,
digs in for another nap.
He says, “I’ll stay here until
I hear birds singing.”

By; Joyce Johnson
For Contest: " Natural  Dodoitsu"
12/10/12

The Old Smokehouse

It was just an old smokehouse out near Gravel Switch
The boards are all tattered, the roofs at a pitch
But this tattered old smokehouse out near Gravel Switch
Is so full of memories, my heart starts to twitch
It was Grandpa’s old smokehouse down in Kentuck
Hollowed out underneath by an ancient woodchuck
Grandpa smoked hams that would make you mouth water
I count myself lucky to be his granddaughter
Grandma would use it to house her big freezer
She said it’s for Grandpa (she said the old geezer)
As kids we would go there, I’ll admit I was smitten
For under the smokehouse I would find a young kitten
If you’re ever in Kentuck out near Gravel Switch
Just turn down the dirt road by the big gravel ditch
Though the smokehouse is abandoned – no hams are still hung
It is still full of memories from when I was young.

Mdailey	2/10/12
 I wrote this for a friend when I saw a picture she posted of her old smokehouse.

The Silly Billy

I tiptoed past the medicine cabinet
So as not to wake the sleeping pills
I looked at worms with a magnifying glass
But could not tell the difference between boys and girls

I looked for the corner in a round room
For about fifteen hours
I peed outside into a stiff wind
And was baptized with a shower

I threw my clock out of the window
To see if time really does fly
I could not balance my checkbook
Though I gave it a really good try

I do not look into the refrigerator 
Because the mayonnaise is dressing
How much wood a woodchuck can chuck
I try to keep on guessing

I am the Silly Billy
The composite of simple folk
Laughed at by everybody
As the butt of my childhood jokes

Woodchuck! Woodchuck!

WOODCHUCK! WOODCHUCK!  FEBRUARY TWO.
EVERYONE'S UP HERE WAITNG JUST FOR YOU.

PUNXSUTAWNEY PHILL OR BUCKEYE CHUCK.
WE'RE FREEZING UP HERE.
SNOW AND ICE WE'VE HAD ENOUGH!

IF YOU SEE YOUR SHADOW.
THEIR IS WITHOUT A DOUBT.

SIX  MORE WINTERY WEEKS.
KEEP YOUR SALT AND SHOVELS OUT!

IF YOUR SHADOW YOU DON'T SEE.
YOU WILL HEAR A SHOUT OF GLEE!

FOR IT'S A SIGN THAT SPRING IS NEAR.
AN OMEN SOON IT WILL BE HERE!

MAFLongfellow

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