Best Woodchuck Poems
On the Sixth Day
On the sixth day God created the animals
Oh what fun creating the animals;
Rolled up each sleeve to create all the animals
On the sixth day.
God made cats and dogs and hogs and frogs
Elk and moose – mongoose on the loose;
Singing birds and fuzzy chicks –
The Lord in Heaven even made a tic? Ick!
On the sixth day God created the animals.
God made camels, rhinos, laughing hyenas
Lions, tigers, funny stripped zebras;
Robins that fly and pigs with curly tails
Roadrunners, coyotes and the slowest snails. Beep! Beep!
On the sixth day God created the animals.
God made leopards, cheetahs, elephants, oh my!
Bumblebees, ladybugs and all the butterflies;
Bears and badgers, bunnies too!
Koalas down under then made the kangaroo. Yahoo!
On the sixth day God created the animals.
God made otters, dolphins, seals and grey whales
Beavers, peacocks, squirrels with their funny tails;
Worms that slither and tortoise that creep
Wombats, meerkats, silver fox and fuzzy sheep! Baa!
On the sixth day God created the animals.
God made gophers, manatees, long-necked giraffe
Anteaters, platypus just to see us laugh;
Walrus, polar bears, doe eyed deer;
Possums and skunks, not to fear! Whew!
On the sixth day God created the animals.
God made crickets, fireflies, marmots, muskrats,
Jaguar, walking sticks, radar guided bats;
Beavers, ferrets, woodchuck, raccoons -
Made the wolves who howl at the moon. Howl!
On the sixth day God created the animals.
God made crab and shrimp and gooey ducks
Lobster, cows, grasshopper ruckus;
Horses, ants and donkeys forlorn
But, God didn’t make a unicorn? Oh no!
On the sixth day God created the animals.
God made gophers, panthers, giant roly-poly bugs
Gold fish, spiders, clams in shells -so snug
Birds that swim and fish that fly
All these creations – my, oh my! My, oh my!
On the sixth day God created the animals;
Oh what fun to create all the animals;
Rolled up each sleeve to create the animals –
On the sixth day! Yeah!
Categories:
woodchuck, animal, bird, creation, fish,
Form:
Lyric
One evening Bob nervously said
I kinda like three in a bed
She said I’ve got friends
And each of them tends
To share the desires in your head
The next night as had been arranged
His ankles and hands were in chains
His lady walked in
With Rodney and Jim
And that kinda messed with his brains
His girl was a leather clad gimp
And Jim looked a bit of a wimp
Rodney said ducky
Time to get mucky
But Bob was decidedly limp
*
Time to collaborate...
First ‘up’... Jan Allison
Bob swallowed six Viagra whole
And soon was like a flag pole
Much to his delight
He stayed up all night
The threesome all enjoyed their roll
*
And from Tom Cunningham...
Poor old Bob was a pitiful sight
His girl decided to put things right
She produced a pump
And worked on his stump
And Bob was like a stallion all night.
Old Bob was so grateful for his girlfriend
But all things good always come to an end
With too much thumping
And all the humping
His thing deflated and started to bend.
*
And Belle Bellevue writes...
Bob went to see the doctor with his crick
Asking please could he do something with it
Doc gave it a jerk
That really hurt
But it became bigger after the visit.
That put a smile a mile wide on Bob's face
He strutted proudly all over the place
The more people looked
The longer he stood
With swollen head penetrating airspace.
Bob begged his girlfriend to bring some more in
The home fast becoming a den of sin
They came three by three
A sexy grand prix
Which ended up with Bob in a tailspin.
*
Mark Koplin adds...
Old Bob was a motherless soul
He liked bears, sheep and woodchuck holes
All three gave him a grin
On his chinny chin chin
Next time he’ll add a few moles
*
And Tania adds this...
Bob was enjoying being wildly bad
Posted a dating site with his fun add
So anxious he couldn't sleep
After being banned a creep
He was now left a frustrated poor lad
*
Categories:
woodchuck, desire, humorous, lust,
Form:
Limerick
Bucking Did Duck Did Chuck
Have you ever seen a bucking duck cluck?
Maybe he fell down and did not suck
Into the oats and grain for he could not duck
The bucking, clucking, duck could not fill up on muck
Could he wallop an ugly duck of Chuck’s wallop of pucks?
Of woodchuck, woodchuck then maybe he should pluck, duck.
Written: 11/26/14
Theresa Marie Hummingbird
Categories:
woodchuck, fun, humor, nonsense,
Form:
Light Verse
OLD PINE
This wild forest path happening
So clearly now remains in mind,
Of the many recalled visions
Those many visions front and hind
Before the dark, dense, distant woods -
And towering so over all -
This superannuated pine,
Last survivor an ancient line,
Of some behemoth, sturdy strain,
So obscure in mythic annals
To having survived without name
Its divided trunk wore the slash
Of Eden’s earth-born lightning flash.
The ground surround yellowed and bare
Sunken by undulant root-flare,
Orbiting crown set in blue sky,
From breathless height, black to the eye.
Quite alone the tree and myself
Nor mole, woodchuck, lingering elf.
From fancy’s overwhelming reach
I swear the tree endowed with speech.
I could but stand still, listening
It’s oft told the charm of silence,
The far and near, perfect alliance,
Thoughts gathering to focal point,
A primal realization,
Once-in-a-lifetime sensation.
Shiver! Swallow, grasp, hold on tight
Truth comes forth, Celestial light!
Spoke that gargantuan old pine,
“Long before Adam was life mine.
Why? - without question by our kind.
Enough that we were given birth
That HE saw fit to favor Earth.
But, with man, the question arose
Why? – always answered, no one knows
Is Earth the way to Paradise?
We have heard that eternal shout –
‘Tell us, Lord, what it’s all about.
Oh, why all this struggle and strife?’
“And HE said,” ‘it’s all about life.’
Categories:
woodchuck, allegory, tree, tree,
Form:
Free verse
Stormzy you aint the dogs Boris
you're just a rapper with a forest
and I promise honest son
the strongest grow an amazon
you're just a woodchuck not Norris
a man should woodchuck Boris
shouting chuck the government
undoubtedly just another chump
and it may seem very drastic
the geriatric made you plastic
because your stature factors
obtainable manufactured
that's factual
you ain't urban raw
more corporate tool.
why are you so frustrated
you made it now tagged to politics
marketing tricks get you rich
from hits you pitch to poor kids
urban representative unscented
do mentally subtracted
hoodie youths attract to this
political track diss
war the Tories with your poor peeps
they buy more your beats
talk about honesty
obvious marketing
tagged on to politics
masses see you exist
hear your hits and make you rich
you're like Tories
growing pockets fill
play poor need more
logics ill.
powerless to a long diss
like Austin Powers piss
grow your roughage
of awful I'm audacious
got pages to go all day Cuz
on your low brow go at BoJo
without mojo what a bozo
then label makers at the Guardian
the Labour paper for retarded men
report our nations a place
where racism takes place
I'll confront you straight to the face
you are racist mate works both ways
stupidity you're chatting
shouting victim
but the cause it happens
don't rally crews through false pretence
they harm and face sentence
justification accepts consequence
make sense bruv,
you gotta stage
you talk to these people
inciting them evil,
you're an idiot with it,
don't group and bigot
powers yours use it there will be unity,
I diss insult but end usefully
I write it down you do too
no race just paper me and you
*Cuz - cousin
BoJo - Boris Johnson
Categories:
woodchuck, hate, hip hop, power,
Form:
Rhyme
I fell down a Gopher hole
Slid up too a strange new land
Popping out the Gopher hole
I witnessed a woodchuck band
Together they were singing
About howling at the moon
The wolves just sat their laughing
As the woodchucks sang off tune
A surrounding like Woodstock
Made up of cuddley friends
All of them getting along
For real and not just pretend
A frog passes me a drink
Poured from a bottle of wine
His name is Jedda Dia
He is now a friend of mine
We party all through the night
Exhausted I fall asleep
I wake up in the morning
Greeted by a talking sheep
"Here is a cup of potion"
" drink it and you can go back"
"this is not a place for you"
" by day the kittens attack"
I admit I was confused
Yet I did wish to go home
So I drank down the potion
Then my mouth started to foam
As my head began spinning
I thought I was going to choke
As I looked all around me
This strange new land turned to smoke
The very next thing I knew
I was back in my own land
Some of you think I'm crazy
I still remember the band
Traveling through the forest
Just be careful where you walk
You may slide down a gopher hole
And witness animals who talk
Others will say you're crazy
Quite bonkers like me
Imagination or reality
I prefer my insanity
Categories:
woodchuck, humorous, journey,
Form:
Rhyme
It was just an old smokehouse out near Gravel Switch
The boards are all tattered, the roofs at a pitch
But this tattered old smokehouse out near Gravel Switch
Is so full of memories, my heart starts to twitch
It was Grandpa’s old smokehouse down in Kentuck
Hollowed out underneath by an ancient woodchuck
Grandpa smoked hams that would make you mouth water
I count myself lucky to be his granddaughter
Grandma would use it to house her big freezer
She said it’s for Grandpa (she said the old geezer)
As kids we would go there, I’ll admit I was smitten
For under the smokehouse I would find a young kitten
If you’re ever in Kentuck out near Gravel Switch
Just turn down the dirt road by the big gravel ditch
Though the smokehouse is abandoned – no hams are still hung
It is still full of memories from when I was young.
Mdailey 2/10/12
I wrote this for a friend when I saw a picture she posted of her old smokehouse.
Categories:
woodchuck, nostalgia, old, old,
Form:
Rhyme
There’s a place in the Blue Ridge.
Where the mountain faces Tennessee.
It escapes detection and is accessible
only through childish reverie.
By all children who in their thoughts
and dreams of feelings not forgot.
Their young minds clouded in mystery
of fairy tale and chivalry of Lancelot.
This Alpine glen, gently sloping meadow,
with Fraser fir trees and flowing well,
Periwinkle, sage and wild strawberry,
Sporting Bee Balm and Oconee Bell.
Its praises sung by lonely whippoorwill,
a place for animals to share refuge.
Where the small rule in importance
and the large never think of deluge.
The log cabin long since turned to dust
A tiny pile of stone, not much
to indicate the love, the life
haunting this place with gentle touch.
The young girl in eighteen sixty two
left alone by need of country.
Then the daughter raised alone
who taught the animals to be friendly,
A legacy of love and life’s spirit spent
in this lovely place of quiet retreat.
Befriending woodchuck and white tailed deer
and others she would chance to meet.
The animals learned that survival of the fittest
did not belong in this place of loving favor.
That it was much more beneficial
to learn to live lovingly together.
© May 04 2010 For Mac's "Your Best Poem" contest
Categories:
woodchuck, fantasy
Form:
Quatrain
Is it a woodchuck, a beaver, a miniature bear?
No but it is Australian, and it looks like it does not have a care.
I look at this little fellow, his smile is enormous and wide.
I cannot help it, my happy feelings about him I simply cannot hide.
A quokka, for real? I have never heard of this
He has a beautiful look, he looks full of incredible bliss.
I have seen several photos of more than six actually.
They each look about as happy as a wild animal can be
If I get to Australia, I plan to look one up in the wild.
I have faith he will become a crazy friend, not any way mild.
The photos I see make a quokka look human friendly.
I am excited to begin my hunt for the perfect quokka for me.
Categories:
woodchuck, animal,
Form:
Rhyme
I think it’s time to share for those pet lovers who care ,
about a friend we had when just a lad.
He was just a wee pup and with us grew up,
working around the barn on our farm.
We named him Penny which we thought good as any.
We experienced much joy growing up with "Penny boy".
For his friendship indeed we were much in need,
At seemingly lands end he was our best friend,
other than our buddy Ernie round the bend,
He learned to herd bovines and listened to our whines,
always did as we asked no matter the tasks,
Woodchuck holes dotted the scenery and busted up our machinery,
So ole Pen dog decided they’d be no longer invited.
If a chuck decided to the contrary, Penny turned his home to mortuary.
He’d give him an offer he couldn’t refuse; if he did …he’d lose!
The land was soon cleared of those varmints much feared.
About our friend, that’s just one tiny chapter
Who lives in our hearts and in the hereafter.
He was there for a good game of tug,
or for a hurting child to hug,
His yellow hair a ready sponge for tears,
His panting laugh a joy for many years.
He was a helper, hunter, protector, comrade and friend.
“GO GET ‘EM PENNY” ! ...
We’ll meet you round the bend…
Written for Francine Roberts' "Pick a Pet" contest. 7/04/11
Categories:
woodchuck, animalsjoy,
Form:
Narrative
WOODCHUCK! WOODCHUCK! FEBRUARY TWO.
EVERYONE'S UP HERE WAITNG JUST FOR YOU.
PUNXSUTAWNEY PHILL OR BUCKEYE CHUCK.
WE'RE FREEZING UP HERE.
SNOW AND ICE WE'VE HAD ENOUGH!
IF YOU SEE YOUR SHADOW.
THEIR IS WITHOUT A DOUBT.
SIX MORE WINTERY WEEKS.
KEEP YOUR SALT AND SHOVELS OUT!
IF YOUR SHADOW YOU DON'T SEE.
YOU WILL HEAR A SHOUT OF GLEE!
FOR IT'S A SIGN THAT SPRING IS NEAR.
AN OMEN SOON IT WILL BE HERE!
MAFLongfellow
Categories:
woodchuck, animals, nature, seasons,
Form:
Limerick based on the quote:
"How much wood, would a woodchuck chuck,
if a woodchuck could chuck wood."
If a woodchuck could chuck down sand,
would he up-chuck in his right hand?
The sand is too dry,
he’d begin to cry,
he’d say, “the dust is just too bland!”
If a woodchuck could chuck down crap,
would he up-chuck right in his lap?
It’s smelly, you see,
“why can’t I drink pee?
Oh, maybe I’ll trade it for sap…”
If a woodchuck could chuck down wood,
would he up-chuck right where he stood?
"Too many splinters,
down through my sphincter!"
Oh, if only a woodchuck could…
Syllable count 8-8-5-5-8
February 25, 2017
Categories:
woodchuck, humor, silly,
Form:
Limerick
Every friggin day
mother hen runs amuck,
while all chicken's
beady eyes appear awestruck
drawing particular
agitation, irritation, perturbation...
of Punxsutawney (Doctor) Phil
(well grounded) woodchuck,
the latter glaring at henpecked
yours truly rifled
tail feathered rooster,
whether communicating
nonverbal sympathy
towards me, a garden variety
Gallus gallus domesticus dumbstruck,
who doth make feeble attempt
albeit without explaining
rhyme or reason
poetic, plaintive, pathetic... cluck,
regarding doomed pyrrhic victory
against incessant cackling
more fowl and upset
than goosed duck,
she that casus belli hideous source
feels cooped up bred to lay eggs
absent any pleasure to fµç*
out her tail feathers fin
hushed yoked for sole purpose
mutter under beak, what the "huck"
subsequently, she takes frustration
buzzfeeding me 'bout chained to
chicken feed to earn
breeder (yours truly) favorable luck
yielding "FAKE" farmer
Matthew Scott Harris megabuck
regarding top quality accolades
raves subsequently generate
he invariably feels moonstruck
matter of fact expanded business
necessitating workers to drive
state of the art rigorous motortruck
the missus decries mistreatment
scratching thru mire and muck
to fill little beasts in belly,
eventually retired, repurposed
relieved invariably chef
buoy or gull hardy sole destiny,
whereby one or another
hired hand will gingerly pluck
every spruced, primped,
groomed... feather
in short shrift priming
precious helpless creature,
(who bemoans lack
of state bird status)
into slaughterhouse five
butchered, filleted (maybe), quartered...
routed to household kitchen
gamely served at potluck
toothpicks applied to teeth
loosening gristle unstuck
after appetites satiated
belt unbuckled years ago
purchased before Sears Roebuck
shuttered stores, plus
bought linens and things
comfortable pillow perfect to tuck
under drowsy sudden sleepy head
unaware coop d'etat mutiny hatched,
whereby sly fox weasels him/
herself to guard henhouse
finding petrified slack beaked
AC/DC powered chicken coop,
where prating poultry thunderstruck.
Categories:
woodchuck, abuse, father, grave, marriage,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
Away in the far distance
snow piles high in the mountains
while rain clouds are gathering
over our valley.
Every day the snow deepens
and rain clouds aren’t dispersing.
There’s no use to grumble in
dark days of winter.
Bulbs in their beds are bursting
and reaching for the daylight.
So eager to welcome Spring,
they risk a frost bite.
Chuck the woodchuck sees shadow,
digs in for another nap.
He says, “I’ll stay here until
I hear birds singing.”
By; Joyce Johnson
For Contest: " Natural Dodoitsu"
12/10/12
Categories:
woodchuck, nature, rain, rain,
Form:
Dodoitsu
MA MAIN MAN STAN GRAHAM JAMMIN WITH THE BAND ON THE GRANDSTAND, I SAID WUDDUP CHUCK GIMME A CHERRY SLUSH AND PLAY THE WOODCHUCK SONG, GO OUT BACK HIND THE PORTOJOHNS AND HIT THE BONG, AIN'T NOTHIN WRONG WITH THOSE $3.97 CIGARETTES
Categories:
woodchuck, joy,
Form:
Free verse