Humorous Woman Poems

Some guys just want you for sex
And I can see that
But I really think that would be doing you an injustice
I want to know the...

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Do you think we’re emotionally compatible?
What crackpot class have you joined now.
I'm taking a holistic course.
Why don’t you go and have an affair, you’ll feel...

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It started with a blank canvas,
the world I should make but I am anxious.
Making fields of pretty flowers,
to the deep blue seas takes many hours.
Mountains...

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Divorced

She was smiling

A small victory

Would he be contesting the house

No

The cars

No

Half the savings

No

You’re agreeing with everything

Yes

I must say, that is very generous of you

He smiled

She...

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There was a shyster from Dallas
whose lies were full of malice.
	He groped the wrong girl
	whose anger unfurled. 
So now, they call him Alice....

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There once was a girl you may know
             They called her the “Holiday...

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a lady of swollen years
sat knitting with glorious colours
she said her name was
saint something or other
I didn't quite catch it
must have been the gum she...

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Snow White took an unladylike bite
of a big red apple polished bright
	she snoozed quite a while
	he kissed her with guile
and they shared an afternoon delight...

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I started out life as Anna Mae Bullock,                 ...

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Mandy, am I right in thinking you wear a brassiere.

We just call them bra’s, Paul, cuts out the middleman, and as you can see, yes.

Right,...

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That creep is a misogynistic Neanderthal
The only one who would date him would be cave woman
Someone who likes being dragged around by her hair
Someone who...

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Larry the frog made a teensy mistake.
He asked a young mother when she was due.
I am not pregnant! She said, spitting into the lake.
And I...

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How did Esma ever get so beautiful? I asked her grandmother.
The rest of their family was as attractive as possum roadkill.
Just lucky I guess she...

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There once was a woman named Fay
who would frighten most men away,
she was grossly fat
and most didn’t like that;
but the ones that did; begged to...

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I cackle and I giggle
I'm a friendly sort of gal
And when I’m quite excited
I'll give a little twirl.

Why would all this be funny
As It's simply...

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